Rebirth of the Aspirations of Choucheng

It is said that after death, there must be a place to go. Those who do good will go to heaven, and those who do evil will go to hell. Even if they are mediocre and do nothing all their lives, they should at least be given a chance to be reincarnated. However, day after day passes, Lu Xiaoyan's soul is still desolate Floating alone in the cemetery.

He couldn't walk, he couldn't speak, and he couldn't feel hunger, cold, or sleepiness. He could only sit on the tombstone all day long and watch the sun rise from the east and set from the west. up.He has never longed for the appearance of "human beings" like this. Relatives, friends, opponents, enemies, people he knows, people he doesn't know, come to worship him, curse him, even if it's just for fun, come and laugh at him also good.

Day after day, the time is so long that there is no end, Lu Xiaoyan is trapped in the void with nothing to do, the only thing he can do is to trace the details of his life along the memory...

At the age of one, Lu Xiaoyan was born in a private hospital in the west area of ​​Lidao. He weighed eight pounds and nine taels, a circle bigger than ordinary babies.When my mother gave birth, my father was on a business trip in the United States, and he didn’t return to Lidao in a hurry until two weeks later. According to the memory of the old servant Haojie, the first thing my father said when he hugged him was: “This kid doesn’t look like me.”

Unlike his eldest brother and sister, who completely copied their father's appearance, Lu Xiaoyan's mother's genes are even stronger.Little mother Fang Yao once said in a joking tone more than once that the four brothers and sisters of the Lu family stood together, and only Lu Xiaoyan looked like an outsider no matter how they looked.

At the age of two, the mother who was a supermodel turned to the show business despite her father's opposition.It can be seen that my father doesn't like my mother to show up in public. For a long time, as long as the two of them appeared in public together, my father always had a sullen face, and he was indifferent even when his mother's movie won an award.

When Lu Xiaoyan grew up, most of her memories of her mother came from old video discs and old magazines. In those pictures with blurred pixels and distorted colors, her mother was bright and moving, her smile was like a flower, and she was so beautiful.Perhaps it was because of her unique looks that her mother was able to successfully defeat all the competitors and become the only woman her father thought of marrying after Zhou Hua's death.

At the age of three, the wedding that her parents had been preparing for for half a year finally ran aground due to many obstacles from the Zhou family.The reason why the Zhou family objected to this marriage was very absurd. They said that Zhou Hua's body was not cold, and Xiaocheng and Xiaoyi brothers and sisters were young, and they were afraid that the stepmother would suffer for the child if she came in.At that time, Lu Yuanteng's strength was not strong enough to be alone, and many troubles that could not be solved by normal means still depended on the Zhou family, so he had to rely on others everywhere.The mother made a fuss about it, and almost ran away from home with Lu Xiaoyan in her arms.

However, there is another saying about this incident in the market, saying that Kong Fanzhen turned all sentient beings upside down for a while, and even Zhou Rong, the young master of the Zhou family, once bowed down under her pomegranate skirt, but Kong Fanzhen was too arrogant and let Zhou Rong pursue her hard. She hadn't even looked at him for several years.As a result, Zhou Rong hated because of his love, so he couldn't eat what he had in his mouth, so he naturally refused to let others enjoy it, let alone that person was his late sister's husband.

At the age of five, Lu Xiaoyan and the driver's son were playing hide-and-seek in the mansion. Seeing that there was no one in the study, they quietly found a cabinet and hid in it.After waiting in the dark for a long time, the other party never found him, so he fell asleep in a daze.He didn't know how long he had slept, but Lu Xiaoyan was awakened by a strange groaning sound. He climbed out of the closet curiously, and saw his father and a strange woman hugging and rolling on the sofa. They were entangled together, the leather "squeaked" when the flesh was scratched, and the room was filled with the pungent smell of perfume and semen.

Just when Lu Xiaoyan was so frightened that he didn't know whether to flee from the study or hide in the cabinet, the door was knocked open vigorously, and his mother rushed in with red eyes.On the same day, my mother clearly said that she was going to start work on the set, but she got the news from nowhere and rushed home in a hurry.It was the first time that Lu Xiaoyan saw his mother go crazy. The mother who always behaved dignifiedly waved a famous brand handbag high and threw it at his father's cheating partner. Facing the opponent's face covered with thick foundation, "shua shua" a few times, the skin was torn apart and blood dripping... The scene was so shocking that Lu Xiaoyan shrank under the desk and almost peed on his pants.

Seeing the two women wrestling fiercely, the father protected the mother and slapped the partner of the affair, and ordered him to be kicked out of the house.The mother seems to have won a big victory, but in fact, she has already lost a complete defeat since the moment her husband unbuttoned other women's clothes.Mother and father had a cold war for three months, and they reconciled under the offensive of father's daily romantic surprises with flowers and gifts.Everything seemed to be calm, except that the shadow left in Lu Xiaoyan's heart did not dissipate for a long time.

In Lu Xiaoyan's eyes, women have become the most terrifying creatures in the world. They are as ugly as they are beautiful, as dissolute as they are elegant, as ferocious as they are docile, as stupid as they are smart.Lu Xiaoyan had dated quite a few girlfriends when he entered puberty, but without exception, they all stopped at the stage of flirting with his mouth. He couldn't kiss and sleep with any woman. To too strong women's perfume will be physiological nausea.He never believed in love, marriage, and eternal vows. For him, everyone has a price, which is higher or lower, even the mother who gave birth to him and raised him.

At the age of six, my mother died.My mother was driving through an intersection and was hit in the middle by an out-of-control container truck. She died before being sent to the hospital.As a well-known actress and the woman of entertainment tycoon Lu Yuanteng, Kong Fanzhen's death in a car accident is naturally a big news that the Lidao media are chasing. director, and the director was the object of his mother's first love.Gossip and gossip, people's words are terrifying, and a huge green hat is imperceptibly dropped from the sky and put on the father's head.

After taking care of his mother's affairs, his father took Lu Xiaoyan to the hospital.The smell of cold disinfectant in the hospital made Lu Xiaoyan feel very nervous. Along the way, he kept telling himself to be a real man, not to be afraid, let alone let others see that he was afraid.Fortunately, it was only a blood test that day, and there was no need for injections, medicines, or wards, which made Lu Xiaoyan secretly happy.It wasn't until many years later that he suddenly realized that his father had taken him for a paternity test, and it turned out that he was almost regarded as someone else's child.

At the age of 16, my father was sick and hospitalized for two months. When he was discharged from the hospital, he brought home not only daily necessities but also nurse Fang Yao.The fortune teller said that Lu Yuanteng was the lone star of the evil spirit, his first wife, Zhou Hua, failed to live past the age of 30, and his second wife, Kong Fanzhen, who almost became his wife, died after living together for seven years.In the ten years that followed, my father's bed partner changed batch after batch, and tried all the superstars, queens, talented women and young models in the entertainment industry, but no one was lucky enough to be awarded the title of "Mrs. Lu".He was scared and bored.Who would have thought that Fang Yao would be the one who successfully surrendered Boss Lu in the end.

Fang Yao was born in a humble family and looks mediocre, and she doesn't have any extraordinary knowledge and ability. The only advantage is that she has a good temper that is "gentle as water and understanding".No matter whether she was snubbed by her father, hated by her sister, or slandered by outsiders, she could always smile like nothing had happened.After staying for four years, Fang Yao came and went as soon as he was called, obeyed without complaint, and finally moved the old man Lu Yuanteng and successfully married into the Lu family.

At the age of 25, the "Tianxing" that he had worked hard for for three years ended in dismal end. His friends parted ways, his father sneered at each other, and his elder brother sat and watched the show. Lu Xiaoyan could only pretend to be indifferent to maintain his pitiful and pathetic self-esteem.He thought that he was born rich and unrestrained and unrestrained, so he had nothing to fear, but only when things came to a close did he realize that he couldn't afford to lose.Well, well, since you can't be a dragon and phoenix, just be a lazy parasite. Anyway, if you don't pay, you will never be disappointed, and if you don't expect, you will never be disappointed.

At the age of 26, the old servant Haojie's memory is getting worse and worse. Sometimes she repeats one thing many times, sometimes she talks incongruously, and what's more, she often calls the brothers and sisters of the Lu family by the wrong names.Until one day I went out to buy groceries and forgot my way home, and it was gone forever.So the last trace of warmth left by this family to Lu Xiaoyan also disappeared.

At the age of 27, Lu Xiaoyan, the second-generation patriarch of the game life with no knowledge and skills, met Ling Xi, a young fresh meat who loves music.

Counting, Lu Xiaoyan and Ling Xi have only been together for three years, which is less than one-tenth of his short life, but looking back, Ling Xi has filled up his limited memory to the brim——Ling Xi's silence, Ling Xi's awkwardness, Ling Xi's pride and persistence, Ling Xi's maddening eccentricities, Ling Xi's rare and beautiful smile, Ling Xi's clear and magnetic unique voice, Ling Xi uses various This kind of tone called him, filial piety, filial piety, filial piety, filial piety, filial piety, filial piety, filial piety...

The first time I saw Ling Xi was in the studio of a well-known musician, I remember that it was very windy that day, just a few steps out of the parking lot, Lu Xiaoyan's hair was already blown into the shape of a chicken coop.When I pushed the door open, a boy in a white hoodie was sitting on the sofa and playing the guitar.Glancing inadvertently, Lu Xiaoyan was immediately caught by the opponent's hands. His hands were slender and well-proportioned, with round and neat nails, without any cumbersome decorations. Just the simple movement of plucking the strings is enough to please the eyes.

After a little dazed effort, the door was suddenly blown open by the wind, hitting Lu Xiaoyan's ass from behind, causing him to almost stagger and fall into shit.

The sound startled the boy who was concentrating on playing the piano. He raised his head and frowned slightly to look at Lu Xiaoyan. Perhaps it was because Lu Xiaoyan's shape and posture were too funny, he couldn't help but smile with a "puchi" from the corners of his mouth.With just that smile, Lu Xiaoyan felt as if he had been struck by lightning, everything from his hair to the tips of his toes went numb, and there was only one thought in his heart: That's right!That's him!

Even if he reads countless people like Young Master Lu, he has to admit that Ling Xi is an extremely handsome boy. His facial features are exquisite, his skin is fair, and his black eyes are round, big and bright. Not flirtatious and not rustic, especially when smiling, the corners of the mouth are curled to the sides, showing a neat row of shining white teeth, revealing a bit of complacency, revealing a bit of mischievousness, a smile can be seen faintly at a certain arc. The shallow dimples feel warm, and people can't help but want to laugh along with them when they see it.

It was because of that face that Lu Xiaoyan decided to pursue Ling Xi, and it was also because of that face that he endured Ling Xi for three full years, but he didn't know that face actually existed like a commercial.When outsiders see Ling Xi, they think he is sunny and well-behaved, a little sheep next door. In fact, he is indifferent to others, rude in words and deeds, and has a weird temper. Occasionally, he can make foam at the mouth when he says a harsh word.Ling Xi has no interest in irrelevant people and things, and he doesn't like to mention his past. He has lived together for three years, and Lu Xiaoyan's understanding of him is limited to his grandfather. He likes to sing. His ideal is to one day Can win the Golden Melody Award.

Facing a face with no emotional ups and downs from morning to night, anyone would feel depressed.Lu Xiaoyan has no patience, and doesn't know how to make his little lover happy. Fortunately, he has a lot of money, such as famous watches, fashion, luxury cars and villas. If he thinks it is good, he will buy it generously and give it to Ling Xi. I just hope that the pretty face on the bed can give some decent reactions.

It's a pity that Master Lu's money offensive doesn't work on Ling Xi, as small as a pack of lozenges and a ballpoint pen, as large as a second-hand car and an old apartment, Ling Xi only buys it himself.It has nothing to do with backbone, he just doesn't like what others choose and handle.Regarding Lu Xiaoyan's gift, he would neither reject it with a high attitude, nor would he say something like "I am not with you for money" to show his heart, he just accepted it very calmly, and said it calmly. "Thank you", and then calmly stuffed those packing boxes, keys, etc. into the drawer.Ling Xi is like a deep well, no matter what you throw into it, it won't make a big splash, and every time it is so full that you can't wait to vomit a few mouthfuls of old blood.

Sometimes Lu Xiaoyan couldn't help asking him: "Ling Xi, what are you planning to do with me?"

Ling Xi would frown seriously and think for a few minutes. After a few minutes, she couldn’t come up with an answer, so she went to do other things, practice guitar, drink two glasses of wine, try to hit a few notes on the keyboard, hit When you are satisfied, take a pen and write it down... Before you know it, that page was turned over peacefully.

Even Lu Xiaoyan asked him: "Are you sure you like me?" The result was the same.

It wasn't until the two broke up for many years that Lu Xiaoyan still couldn't find the answer, and he really couldn't figure out what other attractions besides the money himself.Sometimes Lu Xiaoyan would take it for granted that maybe Ling Xi didn't understand what "love" and "being loved" meant. He was just too simple-minded and lived too lonely, so whoever reached out to him first , he is completely devoted to anyone, and stubbornly believes that the other party should also be devoted to him.

Compared with the many rich and wealthy sons in Lidao, Lu Xiaoyan can be regarded as a clean man, he never touches pills after playing, and he never messes with people who don't know the details.It's just that in his capacity, there are always a few little stars and singers who want to post it to take a shortcut, and he is happy to enjoy the meat delivered to his mouth.Occasionally, it was mishandled once or twice, and there was a time when Ling Xi was stuck at home, and Ling Xi's attitude towards this was not to make noise, nor to ask too much, but just rolled up his sleeves and started cleaning, and all sheets, pillows, and curtains were changed. All the corners and floor joints have been sprayed with disinfectant, and even the storage room that no one has entered or exited all year round has to be emptied and cleaned carefully.He would stay up all night doing these things until he felt clean.

When he was in a good mood, Lu Xiaoyan would forcefully say a few soft words to coax Ling Xi, and when he was in a bad mood, he would scold Ling Xi directly: "Don't be so fucking hypocritical, I'm taking care of you now, not marrying you! Man, I If you want to do it, you can do it, if you want to do it, you can do it, and put on a dirty face for anyone to see!"

No matter what he said, Ling Xi turned a deaf ear to it, and couldn't stand it anymore, so Lu Xiaoyan simply slammed the door and ran out to sleep in the hotel.When I got home the next day, the room must have been cleaned up spotlessly, and Ling Xi continued to concentrate on playing the broken guitar in the workshop as usual, as if nothing had happened.

Ling Xi seldom quarreled with Lu Xiaoyan, most of them were Lu Xiaoyan who couldn't hold back the blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, and he was on the sidelines doing his own thing without any other distraction, completely unaffected.But if he is really in a hurry, he will directly throw his fist, and the force value is definitely several times stronger than that face.The most intense time was when Lu Xiaoyan suspected that Ling Xi was having an affair with a senior, and said a lot of sarcasm. Ling Xi didn't explain a word after hearing it, but just went to the dining table, picked up a chair and swung it over.

That day Lu Xiaoyan was smashed to the ground by Ling Xi, and Ling Xi had three ribs broken by Lu Xiaoyan's kick. The entire restaurant was almost scrapped, with vases, tea sets, picture frames, and crystal lamps shattered all over the floor.Afterwards, the two of them went to the hospital together to see the emergency department, and they went home wrapped in bandages together. When they got home, Ling Xi found that the bandages on Lu Xiaoyan's head were not neatly wrapped, and helped him fiddle with them for a long time, until they were completely symmetrical.Seeing that it was still early, Ling Xi got into the workshop and played the guitar with gusto, as if nothing had happened.

Ling Xi is beautiful and talented, and she has no stage fright in front of the camera. She was signed by the record company Xiangzhong when she was still studying.It's just that it was banned by the boss for unknown reasons, and it was abandoned for three or four years.After finally terminating the contract, he was about to officially debut as a singer in Jinding, but unfortunately, a gossip magazine took a private photo of him and Lu Xiaoyan, and it spread quickly. The healthy image that the company had painstakingly created for him collapsed instantly. The business was in trouble before it even started.A young and beautiful boy hangs out with a rich gay man. Anyone can guess what the relationship is. The people of Ridao can accept a gay singer, but they can't accept a gay singer who is adopted.

In order to wait for the negative impact to dissipate, Ling Xi's first album, which was carefully produced for half a year, had to be postponed.During those days, bad luck came one after another like a queue. First, he got involved with Lu Xiaoyan and had two fingers cut off, and then rushed in to look for Lu Xiaoyan when the villa caught fire unexpectedly, and left sequelae from burnt lungs, which affected his breathing and breathing. Voice, causing the former singer's dream to also be shattered.After being depressed for a while, Ling Xi silently accepted the reality and started to work behind the scenes. He still writes songs and arranges music every day, as if nothing happened.

At the age of 30, Lu Xiaoyan married Sheng Kuang under the pressure of his father.Before the marriage, his father warned him very sternly that if he wants to keep everything he owns, he must put the interests of the family first. Marriage is very important, and he must restrain his temper. He must never let the media catch him again, especially the matter with Ling Xi.

Lu Xiaoyan must listen to his father's words, after all, he will be nothing if he strips off the skin of "Young Master Lu".Furthermore, he himself wanted to find an excuse to force Ling Xi to leave.In the past three years, the obsession with pretty faces has gradually faded away, and the rejection of bad personalities has intensified. The words of breaking up slipped to his lips several times, but he couldn't speak for a long time.People are not grass, and Lu Xiaoyan also knew that Ling Xi lost a lot with him, but those emotions that were so strong that they were almost paranoid did not make him feel happy at all, but instead pressed on his back like a stone, which was so heavy that it was almost suffocating.

Looking for an opportunity, Lu Xiaoyan said to Ling Xi who was concentrating on tapping the keys in the workshop: "I'm getting married."

Hearing the news, Ling Xi just said "oh" calmly, and didn't ask who the target was or when.

Lu Xiaoyan hesitated for a moment, then scratched his head irritably: "How about...you go abroad to play for a while." Since you have become a shameless bastard, you should be cruel to the end, procrastination will only waste each other's time.

Ling Xi finally moved her hands away from the keys: "Do you mean you want to separate from me?"

Lu Xiaoyan flattened his mouth with a playful smile: "I can't help it, the old man is watching closely recently."

Ling Xi stared at him for a few seconds, sniffed softly, full of disdain: "Say it earlier..."

Five minutes later, Ling Xi came out of the room carrying his large canvas bag and broken guitar.That canvas bag is khaki, a bit old, and Ling Xi takes it with her everywhere she goes.In addition to some important documents and bills, there is also a photo album with an old-fashioned cover, a few marbles that I played with when I was a child, a few letters that have been yellowed, all kinds of things, and even Lu Xiaoyan had dinner with him in a restaurant at Christmas one year A sailboat folded from candy paper...as long as Ling Xi thinks that all important things will be stuffed into it. He said that if there is an earthquake, tsunami, or terrorist attack one day, and he needs to escape, he can bring his own as soon as possible. babies.

When he reached the door, Ling Xi threw the key on the cabinet in the entrance, and raised his hand backwards without looking back: "Let's go." His expression was so ordinary that it was no different from going out temporarily to buy a pack of cigarettes.

But Lu Xiaoyan knew that Ling Xi would not come back.Ling Xi usually does not say hello when she goes out. In Lin Guangle's words, this is called "having character", and in the words of her sister Lu Xiaoyi, it is called "no tutoring".Ling Xi doesn't have a family, but he doesn't necessarily have a tutor. He just has been alone for too long, and he often can't remember to report his whereabouts to others.

Living together for three years, Ling Xi didn't have much luggage to pack, and some odds and ends were piled up in the trunk of the car all year round and never moved out.Maybe he knew from the very beginning that he and Lu Xiaoyan couldn't get along, he had realized it long ago, but he just couldn't bear to be the one who left first.So in those three years, he didn't leave when he was caught in bed, he didn't leave when he was fisted and kicked, he was riddled with scandals, his dignity was demolished, and he missed his ideals. He didn't really leave until Lu Xiaoyan personally let him go.

But two years later, when Lu Xiaoyan was saddled with grievances and had nowhere to go, he came back again. He had no greetings, no words of affection, no pursuit of the past.

I don't know how many days and nights I wandered in the cemetery, a year?two years?It might have been three years... Finally one day, Lu Xiaoyan's perception of the outside world began to weaken, his vision dimmed, his hearing declined, and his whole body seemed to be swallowed by a swamp, slowly falling into the boundless darkness.

Is this scene called soul flying and scattered?The soul is scattered, can it be put together to make a new person in the next life?If possible, he would like to be Lu Xiaoyan again.

He has no greed for all kinds of sensuality in the world, and he has accepted his ridiculous fate of being an "unjust dead ghost". She lived a prosperous life and was full of ambition, and she was even more unwilling to leave Ling Xi alone.

Ling Xi has no relatives, no friends, so naturally no one will collect the bones or erect a monument for him.When he was alive, Ling Xi was alone, but now that he is dead, he is still alone. All he has is probably the short moment of holding hands before he died.In the past, Ling Xi loved music as much as he loved life. One day he couldn't play the piano or sing anymore. Lu Xiaoyan thought he would collapse, but he didn't. He was still alive tenaciously.Lu Xiaoyan never thought that the reason why Ling Xi survived was himself.

This cruel death finally made Lu Xiaoyan understand one thing - it turns out that no one in the world can be trusted, parents may break up with each other, husband and wife may separate, brothers may turn against each other, and the only one who will not leave him is Ling Xi.Even if they quarrel, even if they hurt each other with the worst attitude, even if they fight, even if one person stabs each other once, Ling Xi will still follow him after the stabbing is over.He is the young master of Lu, Ling Xi will take the initiative to send him to his door to take care of him, he has nowhere to go and squatting on the side of the street to beg for food, Ling Xi will accompany him to hug him for warmth, even if one day he enters the coffin, Ling Xi will squeeze in silence Go in and lie down next to him.

He didn't know if Ling Xi had turned into a soul like him and wandered in corners invisible to others, and whether he was silently watching this untouchable world.When he finally wanted to say something to Ling Xi from the bottom of his heart, Ling Xi couldn't hear him anymore.

Ling Xi, if there is a next life, I will definitely help you stand on the stage dignifiedly, to show your talent and realize your ideal.

Ling Xi, if there is a next life, don't laugh at me, don't treat me well, and don't fall in love with me again, I'm not worth it.

Ling Xi, if there is a next life, you may not know me anymore... It's okay, I will remember you, and I will find you...

Just like this, falling in the darkness, falling...Suddenly, a weightless dizziness hit, and the body seemed to gain weight. Lu Xiaoyan clearly felt that his back was pressed against some hard object, causing his spine to ache.He fumbled around with his hands, what seemed to be a wooden bench that carried him.

"Dingling-dingling--" First came the melodious sound of glassware colliding with each other, then the brisk footsteps of someone walking back and forth, and then the melodious sound of piano, singing, and various languages. Emotional chatter...

Lu Xiaoyan tried to shake his head, his mind seemed to be heavy with lead, he was in a trance after a hangover.I don't know where a force is pulling him, one stroke, one stroke, almost pulling him away from his original position.Trying to open his sticky eyelids, the bright yellow light slammed into his eyeballs, causing him to frown severely.

A vague silhouette appeared in the field of vision, it should be a man, eighteen or nine years old, wearing a black baseball cap, a pair of big eyes were exposed under the brim, the eyeballs were pitch black, covered with a layer of water vapor... ... Lu Xiaoyan opened his mouth wide in astonishment, almost forgot to breathe, unbelievable, it turned out to be Ling Xi!

How could it be Ling Xi?Could it be that God gave him a chance to meet Ling Xi for the last time at Naihe Bridge?

Many memories, many words, and many emotions flooded up together, making Lu Xiaoyan's throat tremble and his nose sore: "You, you are not, are you waiting for me on purpose?"

Thank goodness he still remembers how to talk!

Ling Xi looked at him expressionlessly, and yanked his hand twice: "Excuse me, you're pressing on my clothes."

Lu Xiaoyan's ears were buzzing, and he couldn't hear what Ling Xi was talking at all. He stood up in a daze, stretched out his hand tremblingly, and touched Ling Xi's cheek forgetfully... Oh my God!That face turned out to be real and warm, it was a living Ling Xi!

Ling Xi was a little displeased by this move, frowned and raised her hand to block it.Lu Xiaoyan was even more pleasantly surprised to find that that hand was also intact, with five fingers all slender and white, without any signs of damage.He grabbed that hand, held it tightly, and couldn't contain his excitement: "How could it be..."

Before Lu Xiaoyan could finish expressing his doubts, Ling Xi raised his foot with disgust on his face, kicked Lu Xiaoyan's chest precisely with a "boom", and kicked him straight away, knocking over tables, chairs, cups and plates all the way, throwing Turned upside down...