Birds don't sing

9. It was very later, when Lu Chen occasionally recalled the last year of university, he suddenly felt that he was actually standing on the edge of the cliff, Lu Chen took two steps forward, he retreated three steps, and when it was impossible to retreat, he closed his eyes and fell down , and then smashed to pieces.

The so-called "one's own business", in fact, no one can figure it out.

That summer vacation was very unsettling for Lu Chen, like a person who is used to dreaming suddenly wakes up, looking around and seeing an environment and awkward faces that he has never heard of, the air is full of restlessness, and the atmosphere is sticky It's like some kind of jelly, which is everywhere and can't break free.

He looked at the news from Lu Chen on the QQ screen, but couldn't think of an appropriate response.

What are you doing, senior?His question looked so eye-catching that it was too pretentious to say that I was busy, and it was too perfunctory to say that I was nothing, and if it was changed to something else, it would be the same as not what he wanted.

In the past, a girl in his class quarreled with her boyfriend, and they hung up the chat records of the two in the space. There was a bloody sentence that stings people's eyes, saying that you are not chatting with me, but chatting with others.At that time, I thought it was too much, but when I really thought about it, I felt that there is a reason for not replying to a person, no matter what the reason is, except for not seeing the news, it is always unimportant and I don’t want to be important. reason.

Lu Chen was in the part that he didn't want to be important.

So he silently pressed the exit button, and continued to process documents and reports. He thought that people's enthusiasm is always limited, and if they don't get a response for a long time, they will always end up giving up, and giving up is the best. way.

It's just that Lu Chen was ignorant of all of these.

He still faces the same day and night, and sends messages and online requests to Lu Chen at irregular times every day. It's not like he didn't feel that Lu Chen's attitude became strangely cold, but he wasn't too cold after all, was he?

He didn't tell anyone about this matter, and even the only friend who knew he was chasing someone didn't know who the other party was. Even so, he still gave him a fanciful support, "Who is so lucky to be able to do this?" Let's Brother Lu chase after him personally, and it will be easy to catch in the future." There was a hint of nonsense.

But in itself, it’s not much of nonsense. When I’m alone, I feel that the world is big and the world is big. No matter how long time passes, it’s too much. Thinking of Lu Chen, I wondered what would happen if I went directly to his hometown to look for him. Would the senior who was so serious and even a little dull come over and take him with that expression of being a bit tired and unable to let go as usual? Playing one place after another, thinking about it, the corners of the mouth involuntarily turned up.

So, why not give it a try?

On the third day, on Lu Chen's mobile phone, he received a message from Lu Chen, 'I'm here to find you, senior'.

For a while, it was not without panic.

Walking behind Lu Chen felt a bit special, but this special came from the fact that he had seen too many backs of francium, and at this moment he deliberately slowed down Lu Chen by half a step, so that the distance would not be too far away. close.Anyway, the smog in his hometown is severe, and most people in the vast city wear masks.

Lu Chen bought a bunch of fried squid at the snack street, held it in his hand and took two bites, and turned to hold his hand, with a smile on his face, "Senior, is the sweet porridge in front of you delicious?" Ordinary interrogative sentence.

"I don't like it very much, it's a bit greasy." Lu Chen's eyelids twitched, and he pushed it away calmly to buy the croquettes on the side of the street. "It may be okay according to your taste, I'm not sure."

He didn't miss the disappointment that flashed in Lu Chen's eyes.

Lu Chen came here in a hurry this time, and the hotel reservations were not very good. Lu Chen sent him to the place at night, but he saw that it was remote and the conditions were not good. After thinking about it, I decided to tell him to quit. I live at home and I sleep on the sofa bed.

"That's not good." Lu Chen was a little embarrassed at the hotel entrance, "Why don't I stay here, anyway, boys, I'm not afraid of someone coming to cheat money and sex, and I really went to live at your house, you sleep on the sofa How embarrassing."

"It's okay." Lu Chen shook his head, "You come here and I'm the host, and there are always responsibilities. Go back and retire, can't you still sleep together?"

"It's okay to sleep together, isn't the bed at home still roomy?"

"That's uncomfortable," Lu Chen lowered his head slightly, "Let's forget it."

"...All right," Lu Chen said after taking his ID card, "I'm going to check out." When he came out again, Lu Chen obviously saw that his expression was much lower than before.

Lu Chen stayed for five days in total for this aimless trip. During the five days, he led Lu Chen to almost half of the corners of the city. He went to less than half of the popular tourist spots, but most of the stores and parks that Lu Chen had been to. , Lu Chen never said much about all this, just maintained his duty as a good friend and took him around a little bit. Occasionally, Lu Chen was distracted by the souvenirs on the side of the road, and he remembered to be dragged back. Let me remind you again that it is fake and shoddy, don't buy it.

"Senior," Lu Chen said to him while booking a plane ticket on the fourth day, "I think it's really the right time for me to come here this time, the temperature is low and the scenery is beautiful, and you have been walking with me all the time... these few days Really happy."

"Well," Lu Chen pretended not to hear the point, and finally gave an ambiguous answer, "It's just as long as you are happy."

"Are you happy, senior?"

"Accompany your friends?" He paused, "There's nothing you can't be unhappy about."

It's all pretending to be puzzled.

When sending him off to the plane, he did his best to be a landlord and chose a soft pottery rabbit master for Lu Chen. The bright red color was bright and eye-catching, which was Lu Chen's favorite style.And when he was holding the gift bag, he was really happy, and when he looked up at him, there was such a lively and lively look in his eyes, as if the last star of the dawn had fallen, as if the first dew had been lit in the morning.

"Thank you, senior!" He said, his tone was very high, and there was a kind of happiness far beyond that.

The happy Lu Chen's heart sank little by little.

"Lu Chen," so he called him, his expression was solemn, but his eyes lowered involuntarily, "This is a gift from me as a friend, I hope you will cherish it." The friend added an accent.

He thought that Lu Chen could understand, otherwise he wouldn't have come out so slightly, it wasn't his proper disrespect.

"Then that's it." Lu Chen waved his hand at him, his hair was blown by the long summer wind, "Goodbye at school."

"Well," Lu Chen reluctantly raised the corners of his mouth to respond, "Goodbye at school, senior." The senior also added an accent.

That was a conversation he would never have with Bai Yu.

But not for long, he thought, a year anyway.

10. It's only a year.

Summer turned to autumn, and Lu Chen's class schedule suddenly became much empty. Within a month, all the courses were cleared, and after clearing the postgraduate entrance examination and practice internship, and then the topic selection and opening of the graduation thesis, half of the people who could do the literature review alone hat hair.Success shows that contemporary college students live on the breath of immortality.

Lu Chen got off work and went back to school, just in time for an autumn rain. The ginkgo leaves were spread on the road, a piece of yellow, which just added a little more color to the cold autumn day.

There has been a lot of rain this year.

Lu Chen still looks for him from time to time, and the good thing is that he is no longer as frequent as in the summer vacation. It seems that he can always presume that he is just a friend. Occasionally, Lu Chen will think of the look in the other party's eyes before he left during the summer vacation. Loneliness came out from those always cheerful eyes, and his heart felt cold when he saw it, but in the next moment, he couldn't tell who he was, bad emotions, unspeakable emotions, maybe everything can be taken apart drive people crazy.

Not long ago, Lu Chen asked him out once, saying that he was playing basketball, and he was busy with work, but in fact, he knew in his heart, where can he be so busy, some things are extremely difficult to do, but in the end they are just Such a simple reason for being wrong about people.

Just let time go by little by little, engulfed in such and such past events until they become calm together.

Once after graduation, Cen Xin asked him for a drink. Halfway through the drink, he suddenly asked him if he could remember how many times you refused to meet Lu Chen.

"I don't remember," he shook his head, "Before my senior year, I pushed him to make an appointment or I still refused, and after my senior year, he made fewer appointments...but if I made an appointment, I basically refused all of them. "

"Don't you think it's cruel?"

"Anyway, he didn't say anything, although it's the same whether he says it or not, but." Lu Chen closed his eyes, feeling that he was really drunk, "It would be really cruel if he didn't refuse."

What he and Cen Xin didn't realize was that when he returned to the dormitory to pack his things for the last time after receiving his graduation certificate, he actually met Lu Chen who was walking there. In fact, it didn't matter if he knew, after all, even Lu Chen himself didn't know. Why on earth did you come here.

He knew that today was Lu Chen's graduation day, and he also knew that he would never see him on campus from now on, but then, what should happen, what will happen, he didn't have a clue, he just followed his steps and walked to This dormitory building he had been waiting for for a long time.

It's like waiting to meet someone unexpectedly again.

It's just that when Lu Chen walked by, he didn't see him standing in the shade of the tree. He called senior, but it was not heard clearly.

He just watched Lu Chen go upstairs step by step, and didn't check to see if anyone stayed where he was.

After all, he had to go back to face the daily necessities and luggage that had been piled up in the dormitory for four years.

It will rain.

Among the things Lu Chen knew, only Lu Chen called him before he left. When the phone rang for the first time, he had soap bubbles on his hands, and he just washed it off in a hurry when the phone rang for the second time. That phone call, it's already rung three times.

On the other end of the phone, the young man's voice was full of eagerness that was different from the past, such a rush, as if he was rushing to get ahead of the wind and rain.

"Senior," he said, it finally didn't sound like Francium Bai, but it didn't look like him either.

"I want to tell you one thing, really, there is only one thing, I never thought I would say that before, because I don't know why, but senior, there is no answer to this kind of thing, right? , I know you have refused, senior. I remember clearly what happened a year ago, but I am not reconciled, I am really not reconciled. After I went back, I thought about it for a long time, and felt that no matter what, I have to tell you, senior. ,I……"

I like you.

"Don't." Lu Chen finally interrupted him, and closed his eyes on the phone. He could clearly hear Lu Chen's voice on the phone with a faint cry, even a trembling and nasal sound, but to this day He couldn't tell what his feelings were, and he didn't even want to tell.

"You...deserve someone better." At least not me.

"...I'm sorry." This is only unfair to you.

Over there, Lu Chen seemed to want to say something more, but he had already hung up the phone.

The thunder of summer rumbled from a distance.

He finally packed the last bag of luggage, and then threw the trash into the huge public trash can, like throwing away a curtain of old rain in the yellow plum season, like throwing away a warm and fuzzy dream.