Till death let us meet

The address of the psychological counseling clinic is not far from here, but it is closer to the city.About two kilometers away, Shen Feng thought about it, and it was better to just put the car here, as there might not be a parking space there.

Shen Feng stuffed his business card into his pocket, borrowed a small yellow bike by scanning the QR code on the side of the road, and rode towards the address of the psychological clinic.

When he arrived at the location, Shen Feng locked the little yellow car, but after locking it, there was no notification sound for returning the car successfully.

He had no choice but to start researching what to do if he failed to return the car. According to the prompt on his mobile phone, he took a photo of the car lock and the car number and sent it over.

Anyway, it's all locked, so there should be nothing wrong... Shen Feng turned and left, heading for the building where the psychological clinic is located.

This should be an older building, and the exterior looks quite dilapidated after being ravaged by wind and rain.But the location is quite good, only one or two kilometers away from the real city center.

Shen Feng took a look, the psychological clinic was on the 21st floor.There are two elevators, both of which are in the process of ascending.He waited for about seven or eight minutes before the elevator on the left reached the first floor.

When he reached the 21st floor, Shen Feng did not see the signboard of the clinic.The half-new and not old sign hanging at the door is a training center next to it, and through the window, you can see that there are dilapidated tables and chairs inside.

Following the signs all the way inward, Shen Feng finally found the signboard of the psychological counseling clinic at the innermost position.

The door was closed, and Shen Feng was about to knock on the door when the sound of the door opening came from inside.A young girl came out of the door, followed by a man of medium height.

Seeing Shen Feng at the door, the girl visibly flinched.

"Sorry, I was just about to knock on the door." Shen Feng quickly apologized to the girl.

The girl ignored him, just shrunk her head, turned her head, and whispered to the man who came out, "Thank you, doctor."

The man at the back was not surprised when he saw Shen Feng, but smiled instead.

"Don't forget the time for the next appointment."

The girl nodded, then shrank back and walked slowly towards the elevator.

"Zhang Yang, I called you, but you didn't answer. I didn't expect you to come to me when you are free, and you don't need to deliver today?" Dr. Xie looked at his watch, and then patted Shen Feng's shoulder affectionately, "It just so happens that this patient Let's go, it will be noon soon, let's have a meal together."

Shen Feng stood at the same spot without moving. It seemed that this person was very familiar with Zhang Yang, and it was not a relationship between a patient and a doctor, but a relationship between a friend.

"What's the matter, why don't you come in." Doctor Xie turned his head to look at Shen Feng in surprise.He is not tall, and his figure is relatively slender, and he looks like a delicate and delicate type.

Shen Feng followed behind him and entered the clinic.

It doesn't look very big from the outside, but inside it has a space as big as three rooms, and some green plants are randomly dotted, such as dill and anthurium, which grow well.

There is a young girl answering the phone at the door, and registering something, she should be responsible for the front desk reception.

There is a relatively private room inside, which is probably the place where Dr. Xie does psychological counseling.The walls and ceiling are light yellow, which makes people feel relaxed.

"I'm not Zhang Yang." This was the third time Shen Feng said this morning.

"Aren't you Zhang Yang?" Dr. Xie was pulling a chair away, probably wanting Shen Feng to sit down.He looked up and down at Shen Feng suspiciously, and after scanning his face, he showed a look of surprise.

"I'm his elder brother... No, it should mean that I don't know whether it's an elder brother or a younger brother." Shen Feng sat on the chair, and the opposite Doctor Xie was still in a state of shock.

"We are twin brothers, so we should look alike. I haven't seen him, I've only seen photos, so I don't know how similar we are."

"I haven't seen him, what do you mean, then how did you find me here?" Dr. Xie also pulled a chair and sat down, frowning slightly, he picked up the pen on the table and stroked it subconsciously.

"By some coincidence, I learned that I have a twin brother, so I want to know what kind of person he is, that's all. Are you Zhang Yang's friend?" Shen Feng observed Doctor Xie who was opposite.

His hair was a little long, but it wasn't a disgusting length, but a length that just stepped on the critical line of being too long. His hair was soft, so it looked extremely smooth.

His skin is fair, his clothes are neat, and his teeth are dazzlingly white, which gives him a strong sense of cleanliness. His eyes are soft, and his voice is relatively peaceful with low decibels, so his voice makes people feel relaxed, just like the one here The walls are the same color.

He didn't wear a white coat like a doctor in a hospital, but an off-white striped shirt and black slacks.In short, on the surface, he doesn't look like a doctor.

How old is he? It should be 25-[-], Shen Feng guessed.

"Zhang Yang is my patient, I can't disclose his information at will, please go back." Dr. Xie observed Shen Feng for a long time, realized that the person in front of him was really not Zhang Yang, and his tone became cold.

Shen Feng pursed his lips, lowered his eyelids, as if he was thinking about something, this guy is definitely Zhang Yang's friend, if he didn't tell him something, he would definitely not say it, Shen Feng had this premonition.

"Zhang Yang is dead." Shen Feng caught the subtle changes in the other party's expression to see if he really knew nothing about Zhang Yang's death.If it's really a friend, it should be sad.

"Dead? How is it possible!" Dr. Xie stood up in a gaffe, probably because he stood up too fast, and the chair behind him fell to the ground.

He rushed in front of Shen Feng, grabbed Shen Feng's collar fiercely, his eyes seemed to change from a herbivore to a carnivore in an instant.

"You lied to me! How could he be dead? He even sent a text message saying that he had saved enough money to go trekking in Nepal!" Dr. Xie yelled uncontrollably.

"The funeral has already been held, and he was buried in the cemetery in the west of the city. I sorted out his relics, and I saw your business card, so..." Shen Feng frowned, he didn't know what to say, "I don't think he will You might have seen a psychiatrist."

"How did he die?" Dr. Xie put his hand on Shen Feng's collar, trembling all over his body.

"I'm not very clear about suicide or accident." Shen Feng said truthfully, he straightened the tangled collar, "Then, Doctor Xie, can you have a good chat with me now?"

"...What do you want to talk about? Even if it is a relative, there are many things that I would not say as a doctor." Dr. Xie helped the fallen chair and sat down opposite Shen Feng. Doctors and patients face-to-face.

"Then as a friend?" Shen Feng raised his head and looked at Dr. Xie's expression that was shaken by seeing his face, "As his friend, I, as a brother who cares about him, ask you to know about the situation of your relatives. May I?"

"Are you really a relative? Although you have the same face, I have never heard him talk about you, and you said that you have never seen him, and you don't know if he is your brother or brother. It's strange, who are you?" Doctor Xie calmed down, thinking of what Shen Feng said before, his head began to enter a state of thinking.

Shen Feng showed a melancholy smile, so faint it was almost invisible.

"My profession is sorting out relics and moving goods. This is my business card." Shen Feng took out one of his own business cards from his tattered wallet, and handed it to Dr. Xie with both hands, "Zhang Yang and I have never met before. It wasn't until after he died that I saw his picture for the first time."

Dr. Xie took Shen Feng's business card with a frown, and his frown became tighter, "Could it be, could it be that you were sorting out his belongings..."

"Yes, maybe it was arranged freely in the dark. I received a job to sort out the relics, and then I met Zhang Yang's mother." Shen Feng showed a depressed and gloomy look, and said calmly, "Probably it is also mine. Mother."

"Were you separated when you were very young?"

"It's been more than 30 years. For the first time, I knew that my mother was still alive. Anyway, I didn't have any illusions at first, so I didn't feel any touch when I knew it. But I saw Zhang Yang's photo. He really looks like me. They're exactly the same, just with a different hairstyle."

Dr. Xie looked at Shen Feng, carefully examining his face.

"You guys don't look exactly alike. He has a small mole here. His figure is about the same as yours. He is tall and strong. People who don't know him should be deceived by his appearance. In fact, he is a very weak and very A person who relies on others, he is very kind and gentle, not at all the same as his name." Dr. Xie pointed to the corner of Shen Feng's eyes, and as if recalling, he showed a beautiful smile, making his face instantly look like glowing.

"Is Zhang Yang your patient? He came to you for psychological counseling?"

"He's not exactly my patient, but more of a friend. Psychological counseling can also be regarded as enlightenment among friends. We didn't meet in the clinic."

"Where is that?"

"It has nothing to do with you. In short, I became friends with him first. Then when he has troubles, I will moderately enlighten him."

"So, did you know he had a special hobby?"

"Special hobbies..."

"It seems you don't know."

"If you're saying the same thing I'm thinking, then I can tell you that this hobby of his is not the same kind of pervert you think. He didn't affect anyone, and he didn't intend to hurt anyone. Man, it's just a special way for him to make up for his trauma."

"What kind of repairing trauma requires dressing up as a woman? Gender identity disorder?"

When Shen Feng asked this question, Dr. Xie smiled. He smiled brightly, but there was also deep sadness in his smile.

"It's hard for you to know this kind of professional language..." Dr. Xie's voice was full of exhaustion, "No, Zhang Yang's problem isn't that kind of thing. He doesn't think he's a girl, but a real psychological trauma."

Shen Feng looked at Dr. Xie without blinking, motioning for him to continue talking.

"When Zhang Yang was young, his mother often beat him, and even beat him with other men, but there was only one time when his mother would not beat him. When his mother dressed him in women's clothes, it was probably Treat him like a doll, so buy all kinds of little girl's clothes and wear them for him. At this time, his mother will treat him very gently. But he is not a girl, so he will resist, he doesn't like to wear women's clothes In that case, his mother will beat him harder. Only when he wears it obediently, will his mother treat him tenderly."

"Why...why did you beat him..." Shen Feng was tongue-tied. Although his father was often not by his side, his father had never been violent to him. Never made a move.

"I don't know, but there are probably a few reasons. I hate my son as a fool, or a single woman has a hard life with a child. In short, his mother vented all her unsatisfactory life on her child. .”

Shen Feng clenched his teeth, he thought of that weak and weeping woman like a dodder flower, so when Zhang Yang was young, she was such a cruel woman.

"Later, his mother remarried. I heard that she married a rich man and lived a good life. She gave birth to another girl. A real girl can dress the little girl upright like a princess. The more The taller Zhang Yang was abandoned in this way. He said that his mother never saw him, only gave him money and sent him out to play by himself. It was no longer his mother, but his sister alone. mother."

"How could this be, how could there be such a mother..."

"He said that he felt that it was no longer his home. He was like a person who was separated from the happy family of three. He didn't belong there. Later, he told his mother that he wanted to move out when he grew up. Qian's stepfather couldn't wait to get the oil bottle out, so he quickly rented a high-end apartment and moved all of Zhang Yang's things there. His mother didn't have any objections, as if it wasn't his son who wanted to move out, but a stranger .”

"That woman..."

"Zhang Yang didn't want to move out, he just wanted to hear his mother's persuasion. He told me that he would rather go back to his childhood, when his mother asked him to wear girls' clothes, and he would wear them obediently and be a mother Let him do things without resisting, so that he can get the love of his mother. Later, he started to buy women's clothes and wear them on himself. Only in this way can he feel the real peace of mind and feel that he is loved."

"why……"

"It's sad, isn't it? But that's why he wears women's clothes. It should be regarded as compensation. He thinks that wearing women's clothes can bring him back to his childhood, and his mother will treat him like a younger sister. He felt safe and made him feel deeply loved by his mother. Really sad reason."

"I didn't know he suffered so much... I grew up with my father." Shen Feng couldn't help but rubbed his hands together and clenched his fists.

"You must have suffered a lot, right?" Dr. Xie looked at Shen Feng's hand on the table. There were cracked and healed skin on the joint skin, and there were rough calluses. "I am also in a single-parent family, and I also followed my father , I know how unreliable it is for men to bring up children. I can only say that everyone has their own misfortunes, but Zhang Yang will never commit suicide. This is the only thing I can be sure of."

"why?"

"Zhang Yang fell in love with a girl, a Taolebao seller who often sent things to him. He also made an appointment with the girl to go on a trip together. He will definitely not commit suicide."

"Zhang Yang likes girls?" Shen Feng was a little surprised, he thought Zhang Yang would like men.

"Why, do you think that if he wears women's clothing, he must like men?" Dr. Xie snorted coldly, "I hope he likes men."

"..." Shen Feng could tell that Dr. Xie probably had some special meaning for Zhang Yang.

"But he's a straight man of steel, and I can't break him, and... I can't be with him." Dr. Xie looked melancholy, "I'm an AIDS patient, but don't worry, AIDS won't pass through the air. Contagious, you talk here, I won't infect you."

AIDS...

"I saw Shi Duoning's bottle at Zhang Yang's house..." Shen Feng asked tentatively.

"Maybe I accidentally landed there. I was kicked out after being beaten by my ex-boyfriend. I had nowhere to go. Zhang Yang took me in for a while. Later, I found out that I had AIDS and moved out," Dr. Xie said. With a gentle smile, he suppressed his sadness and continued, "He said it's okay, I can still live there, but I'm afraid, what if I touch something and infect him, I'll take advantage of him when he's not at home. Moved away."

Dr. Xie covered his face, his voice became choked, and his shoulders trembled uncontrollably.

"He's so kind, what if I'm that kind of bad person, I even had really bad thoughts and infected him, and then he can only be with me... But I can't do that... ...why...why I'm still alive, but he is dead...why is this world so unfair..."

Shen Feng felt that his nose was starting to feel sore, and Zhang Yang was completely different from what he had imagined.

"He said that he wants to learn to love others and accept their love, and he will stop licking his wounds alone in women's clothes... He obviously loves life so much..." Dr. Xie couldn't make a sound.

Originally, in Shen Feng's mind, Zhang Yang's image of being doted on and thus becoming rebellious and rebellious was shattered. In fact, he was not happy, and his life was also very tiring.He wanted to find someone he loved, and he wanted to learn to love, but he died before he could achieve his wish.