After I was reborn, I was bent by a bamboo horse

Shen Chen felt that his destiny in this life had never favored him. He lost his mother when he was young, and his father ignored him. , and then betrayed by everyone - he has lost the heart to trust others.

——The tragic childhood and youth exhausted his not-so-warm feelings, and made him never trust family love, including friendship. He only believed in himself, even if everyone betrayed him in the end.

Sometimes he felt that he might deserve it, that he did it himself, that he couldn't live. He never complained, and never regretted it.

——He felt that no one in this world loved him.

There are also people who admire his appearance and money, but that's all - how can anyone love him?He is cold and withdrawn, arrogant and sharp, with an undisguised hostility and aggressiveness.

Many people have told him that they like him, but he doesn't believe it. He thinks that a person like himself is not worthy of anyone's love. Similarly, he will not fall in love with anyone—isn't everyone in this world the most beautiful? Do you love yourself?

He looked at those moths to the flame, always just provoking a mocking smile.

But sometimes some cognitions are actually inaccurate, just like he thinks that Tao Xun is very courageous because of his family background. He didn't know until he received the last call that the young master of the Tao family was very timid. , so small that I am afraid of stealing voices, so small that I dare not even say a word of like for so many years.

Until he was sunk in the sea, he was still thinking that Tao Xun was really an idiot.

—he had never seen such a stupid person.

Of course, I didn't feel much better. He is such a smart person, he can see through everything these years, but he can't see what that idiot is thinking.

When he woke up again, he was already in a foreign land, in the twelfth lunar month of winter, with heavy snow falling outside the window, and a vague, distant singing sound coming from the church, which he couldn’t quite understand, but he just felt quiet, as if the whole world was slowly peeling away, There is only one long, quiet blankness left.

Escaping from the dead is just a change of appearance.

A close friend of Mr. Tao handed him a stack of materials. The unfamiliar name on the top corresponds to his photo, and the bottom is a long, 30-year-long life trajectory—now it belongs to him.

He is about to abandon Shen Chen, the name that has followed him for decades, and become another person completely. The hospital is very quiet, there is no voice, and no one is waiting for him to wake up.

He held the stack of materials, and when he spoke, he realized that his voice was hoarse and unpleasant because he hadn't spoken for a long time: "Where is Tao Xun?"

The man's gentle smile gradually disappeared, and in the end he just sighed very lightly. He was an authentic foreigner who stumbled in Chinese. Shen Chen watched his awkward lips open and close, and heard him say word by word: "You have a word in the east called, mourning and reconciliation, I don't know, I'm right, right?"

His gaze was too sharp, and the gentle foreigner couldn't stand his gaze, so he ran away.

He took the stack of materials and fell asleep. The sun was very good that day, and he slept until the next afternoon. Someone seemed to be calling him in a blur.

"—Brother Chen?"

He thought it might be a hallucination, but he opened his eyes slowly. Before him was a strange country and a colder autumn. No one was waiting at his bedside to ask him, does it hurt?

He used to think that this sentence was dispensable, but now he felt that something was missing.

He heard Tao Xun breathing hard, and said to him: "You have a good time over there, just like you told me in the car, play how you want, don't wrong yourself."

Later, he fell into auditory hallucinations for a period of time. Sometimes he heard his long-dead mother calling him home, sometimes he heard Tao Xun calling him Brother Chen, and sometimes it was endless busy voices in the sea, endlessly beating on his chest. eardrum.

The treatment was long. He stayed in the hospital for a year, and it was spring when he was discharged from the hospital. When the spring is warm and the flowers are blooming, many foreign girls have been taking care of him and learned to confess to him in his native dialect.

"I like you--"

After a long time, when he suddenly heard Chinese pronunciation, Shen Chen was stunned for a rare moment. At that moment, what he thought was that the words were still in his ears, and the person was gone.

He thought of that bone-chilling autumn, and the faint voice that came to his ears was exactly the same as this sentence, but it was clearly different.

The girl who was suitable for An's family asked him if his reading was correct, he nodded, and the girl then asked him if he would agree, and he shook his head.

"Then what does shaking your head mean?"

He looked at her, thinking that this might be his only chance to make a clean break with the past, but he shook his head, and after a long time he spoke.

"I'm so sorry."

--I'm very sorry.

Three days later, he boarded the plane back to China. At an altitude of [-] miles, he put his hand on his heart and recited silently.

I'm very sorry.

Can't let go of the past, can't move forward to the future, he is such a paranoid person, giving up the past is just cutting his flesh and blood, even if he knows so clearly, he should learn to let go.

He stayed abroad for two years, and when he came back again, he had already established his business empire single-handedly on this land, until it finally fell apart without leaving a trace.

No, there are still some of them, and they become the source of regret for others after dinner.

He bought a villa in the suburbs to live in, and the next day he personally folded a bouquet of roses and went to the cemetery.

Where can someone take roses when they go to condolences?But he inexplicably remembered that a long time ago, when he gave roses to others, the person standing beside him looked at him with complicated eyes, which he could not describe.

The cemetery was shrouded in mist, and it was only when the cold wind and rain fell that he remembered that he had forgotten to bring his umbrella. He was silent for a while, then stood in the cemetery and dialed the number he hadn't dialed in two years.

——This call is for him alone, and he has never hung up.

Unexpectedly, no one answered, so he turned to the message and spoke hoarsely, but the voice was quiet: "Tao Xun, I forgot to bring my umbrella."

——As if he just forgot countless times in the past, no matter where he is, he can always arrive.

But this time, all he was left with was endless mechanical female voices.

At that moment, the heavy rain began to pour down, soaking the whole body of the young man in an instant, but he seemed to be ignorant, but just continued to walk forward. The cemetery in Xishan was so big that he walked for a long time but could not find it. The staff took him to a temporary resting place.

The old man who has been guarding here for decades told him that in the past three years, no one named Tao Xun has been buried here, not even a person surnamed Tao has been buried here.

When he left the cemetery, the flowers in his hand were beaten and wilted. He coughed and walked forward. Halfway through the walk, a kind Bentley took him back to the city.

Sometimes he would think that Tao Xun's stupidity was indeed the only one he had ever seen in his life.

He asked someone to follow the Bentley, watched him drive into the Tao's private house, and then waited outside the Tao's house for three days, watching the old man trembling from Mrs. Tao to a hospital.

It was a hidden private hospital with a good environment, away from the outskirts of the city, and it was actually only one street away from the villa he bought. He held on to the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles pale with force, and he thought, how could Tao Xun be so stupid? What about people?

Really, hopelessly stupid.

That hospital kept a good amount of secrecy, and he knew he couldn't get anything out of it, so he broke in directly after Mr. Tao left.

Many people stopped him, so he covered his heart and coughed. He was tied to an iron block in the sea for too long, and his internal organs were oppressed. Later, his body had always had a root cause, and the attack was somewhat similar to asthma. When he was emotional, he would not be able to breathe. gas.

No one was willing to take on that kind of responsibility, and he didn't dare to use heavy hands, so he could only push and shoved to try to keep him away from him. When he was struggling the most, he heard a hoarse voice, and then he walked over like someone staggering.

He quickly grabbed his hand the moment the man came over.

Cold and thin, like a piece of dead wood that has lost its vitality.

He was thinner, with high protruding forehead, like a skeleton with only bones left. He was wearing a wide blue and white striped hospital gown. It was bleeding, and there were raised blue veins on the pale hand bones.

——It was quite different from the domineering young man in his memory, as if he had only one breath left.

He didn't dare to hold his hand, he was so thin that he felt that if he exerted more force, it would be broken immediately, just like a dry and fragile tree branch outside the window.

The little son who grew up in the honey pot of the Tao family has quickly become what he is now in the past two years. The shot pierced through his lungs and broke his ribs. Although he was treated in time, it will still haunt him for the rest of his life. Pain erased.

He took all the charges for him. The Tao family entrusted him with many connections. After three lawsuits, the court finally sentenced him to eight years for economic crimes.

But he was released on medical parole during the detention period, and after the sentence was sentenced, he was executed outside the prison. That shot almost completely ruined the next half of his life. He couldn't even bear the too turbid air outside.

Any carelessness could kill him at any time.

Knowing this, Shen Chen sat in the ward peeling a plump orange, and the astringent smell wafted in the air, he asked him: "Do you regret it?"

The man who hadn't seen him for two years was leaning on the hospital bed for infusion, his right hand scratching the edge of the bed helplessly, looking at him with the same gaze as in the past many years, he asked him seriously: "What do you regret?"

There is no feeling that it has been a long time, he really did not understand what he meant, so he asked.

Shen Chen was silent for a while, followed his own heart, and scolded mercilessly: "Idiot."

Tao Xun looked at him, not daring to refute, but frowned at the oranges he handed over, showing a little disgust.

"The doctor said that we should eat oranges today." Shen Chen said calmly.

People who are over [-] years old have already experienced the parting of life and death, and the ups and downs of life. At this time, they still frowned and protested, and then they were forced to eat. When eating, their lips accidentally touched his fingers, and Tao Xun was uneasy. For a moment, she looked at Shen Chen blankly and said to him, "I don't believe this is an accident."

It really wasn't an accident. He couldn't believe that this person was real, so he touched him. If it wasn't impossible, he even wanted to bite him to prove that he wasn't dreaming.

But there is no text.

Shen Chen stayed to take care of him, and Tao Xun knew it was guilt, so he stayed in the position of a friend, never advancing or retreating, without saying anything, as if the dying night two years ago never existed.

All his courage has been exhausted, as if all Shen Chen's expectations for feelings have been exhausted.

They are the best friends, the most tacit understanding without saying a word.

Execution outside the prison only needs to be reported once a month. The Tao family has been around for a long time, allowing Tao Xun to gain some freedom. He dislikes hospitals very much, but his body is limited and he has to be trapped in a corner.

Later, the Tao family suffered a severe blow. Tao Xun's health gradually improved after Shen Chen came back. Shen Chen: "Brother Chen, you know what I'm thinking. I don't know if I can come out this time. After so many years, you might as well give me an answer early so that I can sleep peacefully."

He was thirty-three that year, and the eyes looking at him were still as sincere and unbelievable as they were many years ago.

Holding a cigarette, Shen Chen said to him under the nurse's oppressive eyes: "I will not fall in love with anyone—"

Before he finished speaking, Tao Xun nodded: "I see."

He answered very calmly, and hurriedly followed the prison guard to leave without even looking at him again. Shen Chen followed the car and was almost arrested by the police for assaulting a police officer, so he had to hand over his driver's license, his eyes were stern.

"You know what the fuck—"

The policeman pushed him, "Be honest, don't swear."

In the end, he was fined 500 yuan and five points were deducted.

He was tired of the fierce fighting in the mall, because he had flourished there and failed in the end, but he finally went back and faced the things he thought he would never touch again, and the things he thought he would never touch again. meet people.

The Tao family came back to life a year later, experienced a cleansing, and once again took root firmly. Tao Xun was also released from prison early a year later because of his good performance.

During this year, Shen Chen went to see him countless times, but he never agreed. He could only understand his recent situation from the few words of others. At first he said it was not good, but later the Tao family became popular and said it was good. He knew it was unbelievable, but he never saw him when he wanted to see him.

He would sometimes stand outside the prison where he was serving his sentence, smoking one after another, wondering if he would die inside, just as he imagined countless times during those two years, his internal organs sometimes The sharp pain, he told himself, was an old injury.

——It’s just that the crimes have become more and more frequent recently.

He was extremely disappointed in his relationship, and he had no expectations in the end. He just used half of his life to discover his last bit of conscience.

The old friends have long been betrayed and separated, and he doesn't know who has ridiculed him—Shen Chen, do you still have a heart?

That sounded ridiculous.

——In fact, he himself felt the same way.

Tao Xun stayed there for a year, and many things happened in that year, the biggest one was probably the death of a senior official surnamed Shen from official to ministerial level, that was the first time he wanted to see Shen Chen.

He stayed up all night in prison alone, the pain in his lungs seemed to tear his chest, he began to lose his temper, as if he was that arrogant and domineering young master of the Tao family again. .

The next day his father and his brother sat by his hospital bed and asked him what was wrong.

He thought about it, shook his head and said, "It's okay."

He didn't know what else was going on, and he couldn't say what else he needed to worry about.

A year later, he was released after serving his sentence. Before he came out, he was detained by Shen Chen to the nearest hotel before he saw his parents and brother.

He pressed down on him, frowning deeply, like a long ravine, calling his name: "Tao Xun."

He agreed, and then his neck was bitten. He even felt that Shen Chen had murderous intentions towards him at that moment, but at some point the bite turned into a kiss. He seemed to be in a dream. He lay on the bed like a wolf biting his prey.

One bite at a time, devouring everything.

That dream lasted for a long time, about three days. When he woke up, he was in a mess, and all the absurdities of the first half of his life were forfeited. He didn't have time to say a word. In fact, I am above. Forget it, he is not unwilling.

Shen Chen bit his prey, the light in his eyes could be called fierce, but extremely calm: "I only love myself, unless you can completely belong to me."

This is not a word of love, this is serious, probably a threat or something, Tao Xun has been arrogant and domineering for half his life, and finally admits it in a moment.

No, he was planted a long time ago.

In that year, they were thirty-five, half of their lives had passed, and they were almost gone in a vigorous and crazy way, but it seemed that they had just begun.

Shen Chen didn't say anything wrong, and he didn't lie, he lost trust and hope for all feelings, he only loves himself, unless there is someone who can love him more than himself, he can include him in his own.

He only loves himself, he only loves you.

Later, Tao Xun was anxious, did Brother Chen love him, or was he just in debt?This kind of thinking is torture. Every time he wakes up in the night, he will fall ill and his limbs will be cold.

Later, Shen Chen told him that it was indeed just a debt at the beginning, but it was only later that he discovered that it was more than that.

A cautious and withdrawn person like him may only have one chance to give his heart once in a lifetime, and he himself is not kind, he never gives alms, and he only does business that makes a steady profit without losing money.

Tao Xun bet everything in exchange for him, but to Tao Xun, Shen Chen is already the most important.

Neither Party A nor Party B suffered a loss in this business. There are not many win-win situations in this world. They can't say whether they are lucky or unlucky.

Shen Chen is still that sharp young man, but he gradually has a weakness, and Tao Xun is still that arrogant and domineering dude with no brains, but there is someone behind him who can teach his not-so-smart mind and teach him how to go on. .

A hundred years of life is nothing more than that.

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There has always been Kawen, this episode is the most pleasing one I have written, if it is not updated today, I think I can continue to write~

There is an inexplicable warmth. When I wrote it, I felt warm in my heart, thanking the little angels who voted for me or irrigated the nutrient solution for me~

Thanks to the little angel who voted [Mine]: 1 dish that is fatter during the Chinese New Year;

Thanks to the little angel who irrigated [nutrient solution]:

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!