I Jianghu

Yin Yan was ill, originally it was not a serious illness, but because of many old injuries and the cold weather in winter, he developed a high fever.Zhuoyi and the others take care of her in shifts, fearing that something will go wrong again. Yin Yan doesn't think it's too serious, and blames them for making a fuss over a molehill, but with Yingluo's order, she can only obediently obey.

After hearing this, Tu Jin rushed over and wanted to help, but Zhuo Yi declined politely, so he stood outside the door and watched Yin Yan.Even if he couldn't see such a scorching gaze, Yin Yan could still feel it. He thought that Tu Jin might have something to do with him, so he found an excuse to push Zhuo Yi away, and said to Tu Jin, "It's cold outside, master, please come in. "

Tu Jin walked in and found that Yinyan was groping for the medicine bowl beside the bed, feeling pain in his heart, he hurried forward to hold the bowl and handed it to Yinyan.Yin Yan was taken aback for a moment, took the bowl and said thank you, then drank it all in one gulp.The too familiar scene reminded Tu Jin that he had handed the medicine bowl to Yin Yan before at the top of Tianyuan Mountain, and Yin Yan was drinking without taboo at that time, but it was that bowl that took Yan'er away. His binocular eyes made it so inconvenient for him to drink medicine now.

"Can we talk?" Tu Jin asked hesitantly.

Yin Yan nodded and motioned to Tu Jin, "Sir, please sit down. If you have something to say, it doesn't matter."

"I..." There were too many things to say, and Tu Jin didn't seem to know how to speak. In the end, he chose to admit his mistake, "I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for your mother and son."

The people outside the door stopped after hearing this and leaned against the door quietly.

Yin Yan did not answer, waiting for Tu Jin's next words.

"When I was young, I acted arbitrarily and recklessly. When I was old, I became a prisoner. Once I held the shelf for a long time, I realized that I couldn't let it go. I always took what I heard and saw as facts. I used my eyes and ears, but I forgot Work hard." Tu Jin said to himself, "Yingluo is just the opposite, she doesn't talk much, but she understands in her heart that she always thinks about the long-term when doing things, unlike me, who looks like the world is not as big as me." He I laughed at myself, "Until that happened. I couldn't figure out why she would betray me because I loved her so much. Now that I think about it, I feel ridiculous. If I don't believe it, how can I talk about love... She stabbed her My sword was like a stick in my throat, and I kept suppressing myself until you went to Muyang Mansion. At that time, it seemed that I finally found a vent, turning a blind eye to your kindness, but... hurting you in every way..."

Tu Jin's hand clasped the edge of the bed tightly, and finally, he shook Yin Yan's hand and knelt down in front of him, "Yan'er, can you really...can't forgive being a father?"

Yin Yan's hands were slender and cold, Tu Jin didn't know if it had always been like this, or if it was caused by an injury.Because from Yin Yan's first appearance in Muyang Mansion to now, this is the only close contact they have had.Tu Jin remembered the hidden words at that time, he was so lonely and ethereal that he seemed to be out of the world, but because of his words, he knelt for seven days and was beaten all over his body because of his reprimands.The first time I saw this child with his upper back naked, I was disgusted by his thin skin and tender flesh. Now, under this thin clothes, I'm afraid there are bruises all over his body that can't be concealed. Is this the result he wants?Tu Jin grasped Yinyan's hand unconsciously with strength, as if this could fill the emptiness in his heart.

Yin Yan's hand moved, but he couldn't break free, so he let him go.

"Master" still had a cold voice, but just a title made Tu Jin stiff all over, "The person you should apologize to is not Yin Yan, but your mother."

"I know myself……"

"No, you don't know." Yinyan interrupted Tu Jin's words for the first time, and calmly stated the truth, "This apology is 14 years late. You even understand Yinyan, but you don't."

The air was a little frozen, and Tu Jin was a little dazed.

"My lord, I can't understand your changes. No matter before or now, hidden words are just hidden words. If you couldn't accept it at the beginning, why can you accept it now? Parents with body, hair, skin and skin, Yinyan has no position Blame you, it's just such capriciousness, I don't want my mother to suffer again."

If Yinyan was in an excited or scolding tone, Tu Jin thought, he might still have a chance, but Yinyan was too calm, as if he was just stating the facts... and he was indeed stating the facts.Yinyan let him do whatever he wanted, even knowing his purpose of staying in Yinshan, he still agreed to his unreasonable request; Yinyan pampered him, respected filial piety, abided by etiquette, but did not give him a chance to make amends.Tu Jin suddenly realized that the most painful thing is not how to make up for the wrong things he committed, but that there is no chance of redemption at all...

Tu Jin walked out of Qinyuan in a daze, not even noticing Yingluo at the door.Yingluo walked into the room and saw Yinyan sitting on the bed, so quiet that it made people feel distressed, so she walked over and gently wrapped him in her arms.

Yin Yan could tell who was coming from the sound of footsteps, she was taken aback for a moment, then relaxed her body, and asked softly, "Mother, did Yan'er say something wrong?"

"No." Ying Luo quickly gave the answer without hesitation, "He deserves it".

Letting go, Yingluo put her hand on Yinyan's, letting him feel her own existence.Ever since he lost his sight, even if he could judge the incoming person by his voice, Yin Yan still felt uneasy. He didn't show it very clearly, so Zhuo Yi and others didn't notice it, but Ying Luo, who was his mother, knew it.So as long as she is by his side, Yingluo will reassure Yinyan through touching her.

"Yan'er, mother has something to tell you." Yin Yan seemed a little nervous after hearing that, so Yingluo patted the back of his hand and said, "As a mother, I have to say sorry to you."

"Mother!" Yin Yan was startled, she never thought that what her mother was going to say, struggled to get up, but was held down by Yingluo again.

"Let me finish, because I don't want to be a mother and I regret it because I am late." Yingluo continued, "I don't need you to bear the grievances between me and him. Whether I hate him or love him, after all, this life is to be entangled. I don’t know, but probably what I blame him the most is how he treats you.” It’s self-evident who the “he” refers to, Yingluo sighed softly, “If you think about it, we’ve been twisting and turning, but it’s a string of twists and turns. Get up. Yan'er, we have passed most of our lives, but your life is still very long, so you can take your time without rushing, just don't let yourself regret it."

Yin Yan's transformation towards Tu Jin, after the Whispering Pavilion was burned, he no longer expected the misunderstanding between his father and mother to disappear, but expected that Tu Jin's wantonness would not hurt his mother.Compared with herself, Yin Yan cares more about Yingluo.Yingluo is just the opposite. She doesn't blame Tu Jin for what happened back then. It was her choice and the result she expected. What she can't forgive is the irreversible harm Tu Jin left for Yin Yan.But she knew that Yinyan needed a home.Her feelings are too weak, so weak that she only gave them to two men in this life.She can teach Yinyan martial arts, but she can't teach what she doesn't have.It was what Tu Jin owed them, and Yan'er could accept it with peace of mind, instead of rejecting others for her.

Yingluo didn't know how much Yinyan could understand, and she didn't explain any more. Talking too much about some things would be superfluous. She didn't want to influence Yinyan's thoughts. Whether this life is right or wrong, how to live, you need to tell yourself in Yinyan make a decision.The one she loves and the one she hates both share the same blood...

The author has something to say: double update, one chapter is speech and the other is dumb, if you like it, don’t miss it~

PS1: Thank you for Fei’s mine, I’m too embarrassed to update it, you should send less 2333

PS2: Thanks to the little secretary who worked so hard to reply—cute, except for the occasional face, she is still remarkable~