Xifu Begonia

When Zhang Qingkai walked into the cemetery, the young man guarding the door was playing with his mobile phone. Seeing him coming in, he opened the window of the small room and greeted him: "Brother Zhang!"

Zhang Qingkai stopped at the spot and reacted for a long time, when he turned around, the young man was obviously stunned.

"Brother Zhang." He opened the door and ran out, asking worriedly, "Are you feeling unwell?"

Zhang Qingkai was holding flowers in both hands, he touched his forehead with one free hand when he heard this, and said, "I don't look very well."

"It's not that good." The young man said, "...you haven't come for the past three days, I thought you were on a business trip."

Zhang Qingkai's voice was so hoarse that people couldn't help but get goosebumps all over his body: "Oh, no, something happened at home."

The young man didn't ask any more questions, Zhang Qingkai nodded at him, and walked towards Xia Fei's tomb with a rose in his arms.

He walked to the grave, bent down and put the flowers on the ground, and then sat down beside him.

Zhang Qingkai took a deep breath, leaned against the tombstone and closed his eyes. However, the sun was very dazzling, he only felt that there were countless phantoms fluttering in front of his eyes, and he couldn't shake them off.

"Xia Fei." The tone of his words trembled slightly, "I haven't seen you for three days, so you're not angry."

Zhang Qingkai found himself speechless, he wiped his face, it was full of water.

When Xia Fei left, he was like this, he would freeze wherever he sat, and his face would be completely wet with tears in a short while. Unexpectedly, after going around, he returned to this state.

Zhang Qingkai's eyes were always red, he stretched out his hand and rubbed the edge of the tombstone repeatedly, and said word by word, "Xia Fei, my mother is gone."

"She has undergone chemotherapy for so long and has suffered so much, but her condition deteriorates as soon as it gets worse. I watched her go, but I can't do anything." Zhang Qingkai raised his head, his eyes were scarlet, and he stared blankly at Xia Fei on the monument. "...just like when I saw you go away in so much pain."

"She held my hand at the end and said she was sorry for me and you. She said that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be alone all the time. She also said... that she would give her another chance to do it again, and she would definitely not object to us " Zhang Qingkai looked at the lake in the distance and said in a daze, "We are at a deadlock with our family. When I knelt on the ground and begged her to let us be together, I wish I could hear these words. But now, I am eager to be recognized. People are gone, and I think people who have lived a good life are gone.”

"Xia Fei." Zhang Qingkai turned around tremblingly, and knelt straight towards the cold monument, "I have never dared to ask you, do you blame my mother? If so, from today onwards, can you not blame her?" Yet?"

Zhang Qingkai's head was on the ground, and he couldn't lift it up. His forehead was full of dirty dirt. He gasped for breath, and said without a word: "When she said sorry to me, I was so desperate. My mother has I know how sad it is, but I still can't live according to her ideas."

"She was so guilty, she always felt that it was because of what she said that you would leave early, but it was not like that at all. Between you and me, it is impossible for others to separate you after a few obstacles. Only God has this This kind of ability, with one move from him, I can't even pull you."

"You told me before that one day you live is one more day. I tried to think that way, but I don't understand it like you. I can't understand this kind of reasoning." Zhang Qingkai wiped away some of his tears and asked, "Do you still have money?" What is a better way, can you tell me, I really can't hold it any longer."

With a few simple words, Zhang Qingkai stuttered and couldn't continue several times, so he slowed down and then continued slowly. In the end, he was a little lost in tears, he swallowed a mouthful of saliva, and changed his words : "Well, let's live well. How good it is to live. I can think about you and my mother every day. Even if you are not by my side, I am content. You were in such pain at that time, and you didn't complain. I am now It’s a little bitter, so what is it?”

He reached out and wiped Xia Fei's photo, a small layer of dust was stained on his fingers, and the photo became very clean.

"Everyone has a hypocritical moment. Just pretend you didn't hear what I said just now." Zhang Qingkai stared at Xia Fei's photo. This permanent smile is still bright and fresh after more than 20 years.

Zhang Qingkai can't get tired of watching it for more than [-] years.

"If you hear it..." Zhang Qingkai showed a smile that was uglier than crying, and there was a little difficulty in his voice, "For the sake of my hard time today, don't make fun of me."

He closed his eyes and hugged the tombstone, imagining Xia Fei gently embracing him like he did many times when he was a student. Even though he was a head shorter than him, he still stood on tiptoe and stroked his hair, silently comforting him .

"Xia Fei, I'm much better, really." Zhang Qingkai lowered his head and kissed the tombstone, "Thank you."

He took a few steps back, his voice was very low, as if he was afraid of waking up the sleeping person: "I didn't have time to show you the diary today, and I will bring it with me when I come tomorrow. Rest well, and I will come back tomorrow." .”

After a long silence, he said, "Xia Fei, goodbye."

On the way out, there was a long downhill road. Zhang Qingkai's legs felt a little numb after sitting for a long time, and his calf was always cramping. In addition, he was really not in good condition, and he almost fell down several times.

He was panicking in his heart, and he continued to move forward after he collected himself in place.

Unexpectedly, this time, something happened.

First he completely fell to the ground, and when he propped up his arms and stood up again, his feet slid forward half a meter. After several consecutive movements, Zhang Qingkai couldn't stop his downward trend at all, and the whole person rolled straight down the slope.

At the last moment when his head hit the stone, Zhang Qingkai let out a muffled snort, looked towards Xia Fei's tomb in panic, and finally closed his eyes bluntly.