Clear and Muddy Loss of Love

Lonely empty courtyard spring is late

The ice melts and the snow melts, the grass grows and the warblers fly. In a blink of an eye, it is the season of recovery of all things. The capital of Wei State is in the south, and spring comes earlier than in the north, earlier than the spring in Xiaodie and Qiyan Agula's memory.

Xiaodie is now seven months pregnant, and because Qi Yan was ordered by Nangong to confine her for a year, she kept everything simple in her life as a sinner, and even the imperial doctor's routine safety pulse was interrupted.

Ding You can no longer come to Qi Yan, and Qi Yan has no way to know Xiaodie's physical condition. She doesn't know if she has missed the best opportunity for abortion, but Xiaodie's body is now very obvious, like a memory Qi Yan's back injury has long since healed when Zhong's mother was pregnant with her last child, she was imprisoned in a private house, and even the monthly routine greetings were saved...

Nangong Jingnv did not come, and even Qiu Ju did not come again.

In the past, Qi Yan would receive small gifts from Nangong Jingnv from time to time, or some folk gadgets, or the relatively good four treasures of the study, or a food box filled with delicacies, and these things would also come with him. disappeared.

Qi Yan sat on the stone bench in the small courtyard and was lost in thought. Although the spring sun looked bright, it was not very warm when it shone on people, and it would be a bit chilly when the wind blew.

She once wrote a letter to Nangong Jingnv on the fifteenth day of a certain month.

It was the day when Qi Yan paid his respects routinely, which was regarded as a letter of apology, telling Nangong Jingnv the reason why she could not go to pay her respects, and told her to take good care of her body.

The letter was returned with the seal open.

Qi Yan turned over the thin letter paper several times, but did not see any reply.She pinched the letter paper and was a little absent-minded. Nangong Jingnv read her letter, and then there was nothing else.

Qi Yan was silent, got up and found a box to put his letter in, opened the wooden box next to the chair and was about to put the box in, but when he saw the things inside, he suddenly stopped, like someone pulling a shadow puppet stick The craftsman tapped the acupoints suddenly, and the little man froze on the shadow puppet, motionless.

Qi Yan looked at the things inside, and a certain unknown place in her heart was stabbed fiercely, but the pain from the wound pervaded her entire chest.

There are a few books in the box, and a wood carving in the corner, a lifelike puppy. The wood carving is not very fine, and the marks left by the carving knife can even be seen on it, which is uneven.

This was Nangong Jingnv's birthday last year, and Qi Yan carefully prepared a birthday present one month in advance. She remembered that she seemed to have carved a few logs before barely getting one that looked good...

Later, due to various reasons, Qi Yan changed his mind on Nangong Jingnv's birthday. Because of time constraints, he randomly grabbed an ingot of old ink on the case and gave it to Nangong Jingnv.

With a sound of "bang", the box in his hand fell off and fell into the wooden box, Qi Yan leaned down while pressing the table with one hand, and took out the wooden puppy sculpture in the corner.

The top of the woodcarving was covered with a layer of dust. The puppy's nose was dotted with ink by Qi Yan at the beginning. It may have been accidentally rubbed somewhere when it was placed in the box. It made a little face, it looked a little funny, but there was a little more anger.

Qi Yan twitched the corners of her mouth and calmed down instantly.

She sat upright, staring at the wood carving in her hand in a daze, sliding her fingers to caress the uneven surface, feeling the beating touch.

Qi Yan just sat like this, with no expression on her face, but her fingers kept stroking the puppy rhythmically, one after another, her eyes were very calm, and there was a hint of sadness in her calm.

I don't know how long it took, Qi Yan suddenly got up and went to the shelf next to him to search for it. After searching for a long time, he found a small box in the corner. Qi Yan put the box on the table and blew away the dust on it. Open the box and inside is a set of carving tools.

She picked up the scrap paper and carefully polished the rough marks on the surface of the dog's skin that resembled waves. She buried her head in it for nearly two hours before the wood carving of the dog was completely finished...

Qi Yan picked up the wood carving and looked at it carefully, and put the box together with the puppy wood carving into the box with a satisfied expression.

From that day on, Qi Yan seemed to have fallen in love with woodcarving.

She ordered Qian Yuan to buy a large batch of logs and moved them to the study. Qi Yan, who used to be obsessed with books, put down the books and fell in love with woodcarving.

She also carved a little rabbit and gave it to Xiaodie. According to the customs of the Wei country, Xiaodie is a chicken, but the grassland doesn't talk about this, and Xiaodie prefers rabbits.

Qi Yan can carve everything, galloping horses, goats grazing, birds that are about to fly, but the most she carves are puppies.

"Yuanjun~." Xiaodie's voice pulled Qi Yan's thoughts back, and Qi Yan turned her head with a lively expression: "What's wrong?"

"What are you thinking?"

If there is any benefit in Xiaodie's womb, it is that since Xiaodie's fetal phase has stabilized, her sanity has gradually improved. I don't know if it is because she is about to be a mother. Yuebu never fell ill and cried, and even her mind, which was stagnant because of being frightened, gradually matured...

At least she listened to Qi Yan's words, and stopped calling Qi Yan "brother" but Yuan Jun.

Even if Xiaodie doesn't know the meaning of these two words...

Qi Yan grabbed Xiaodie's hand, the temperature of the fingertips was just right, and the palm of the hand was also warm, so she was relieved: "I didn't think about anything, I just thought that the sun is getting higher and higher day by day, and the weather is also sunny."

Xiaodie nodded, and said naturally: "Chives are about to bloom, and it's time for spring hunting..."

Qi Yan's expression changed slightly, and she sighed softly and didn't answer.

Fortunately, there are only the two of them in the small courtyard. Xiaodie sometimes talks about things about the grassland. She still remembers herself, but she seems to have forgotten her father, mother, and Bayin...

That's fine, Qi Yanru thought.

Xiaodie keenly noticed Qi Yan's abnormality, and said timidly: "Brother, Yuan Jun... Did I say something wrong?"

Qi Yan turned her head and looked at her ignorant younger sister with mixed feelings.

Qi Yan: "Forgot our agreement? Don't mention the past again, I will give you a little rabbit wood carving."

Xiaodie bit her lip: "Remember, I won't talk about it in the future."

……

Qi Yan: "Xiaodie's birthday is coming, what gift do you want?"

Hearing this, the gloom on Xiaodie's face disappeared, and she said with great interest: "I want to eat longevity noodles, and I also want to ride a horse."

Qi Yan nodded: "This year's foal hasn't arrived yet, I will definitely take you to ride a horse in autumn."

……

Another half month passed, Xiaodie's birthday had just passed, and Qi Yan's birthday was coming.

It's not the birthday of Qiyan Agula, an orphan in the grassland, but the birthday of this deity who pretends to be Qi Yan, a student from Jinzhou.

Qi Yan is currently in the body of a sinner, her life needs to be simple, and she is not qualified to celebrate her birthday.

But two people still came, in the name of visiting old friends.

One is Zhuohua Princess Nangong Shunv who has changed into men's and regular clothes, and the other is Qi Yan's classmate and best friend Gong Yanghuai.

The two handed out invitations one after another, and it was Nangong Shunv who arrived first.

When she left the mansion, Nangong Shunv felt a sense of alienation. She still remembered that before she got married, she tried her best to live in Princess Zhenzhen's mansion, just so that she could occasionally change into men's clothes and wander the streets and alleys, experiencing the life of the people. Breathe free air.

Since getting married, there has never been a day like this again. Looking back now, it seems that it was many years ago that the last time I went out of the house in disguise.

In the study, Qi Yan is doing wood carving, a piece of log has a rough outline, it seems to be a puppy.

There was a knock on the door of the study room, and the voice of the housekeeper Qian Yuan came: "Master, a young gentleman surnamed Gong has handed over the greeting card."

Hearing this surname, Qi Yan's heart skipped a beat, she put down the carving knife in her hand, got up and opened the door: "Show me."

Qian Yuan: "Yes."

Qi Yan felt her heart beating a little faster, and she felt lost when she opened the big red greeting card. It was not in a familiar font, so she glanced at the content and saw the signature: Uncle Gong.

Qi Yan knew the identity of the visitor, she took the greeting card back to the study and put it away, shaking the sawdust on the skirt of her clothes: "You go down first, I will meet her myself."

Qian Yuan: "Yes."

Nangong Shunv was wearing a plain long gown with a bamboo blue blouse, holding a folding fan in her hand.

Qi Yan strode forward and was about to salute, but Nangong Shunv closed the folding fan with a snap, and used the fan as a hand to support her: "Today is only for personal friendship."

Qi Yan changed her bow to clasped fists, and made a gesture of invitation: "Brother Gong, please."

Nangong Shunv nodded slightly and walked ahead.

Walking in the yard, he said, "Let's find a clean place to talk."

Qi Yan thought for a while, then replied: "Then invite Brother Gong to come to the study."

Nangong Shunv: "Lead the way."

When the two came to the study, the semi-finished wood carvings on the table had not been collected yet, and the table was full of sawdust.Nangong Shunv frowned slightly when she saw this, and then she felt relieved.

With his father's love for his younger sister, Qi Yan's official career would be hopeless if he made such a big mistake.

Qi Yan pleaded guilty in a low voice, put away the sawdust on the desk, and put away the tools and wood carvings: "You made His Highness laugh."

Nangong Shunv was noncommittal: "I am here to see you specially today."

Qi Yan: "Thank you, Second Highness, I'm wearing a sinful body, and Second Highness Lao is worried."

Nangong Shunv sighed lightly: "Is the injury on your back healed?"

Qi Yan replied: "After lying on the bed for a month, and suffering from slight pain for another month, it is finally healed."

Nangong Shunv: "Tingzhang's injuries mostly accumulate in the internal organs, so you should be careful on weekdays, don't fall into any root cause."

Qi Yan: "Thank you Second Highness for your concern, I will save you."

Nangong Shunu was silent for a moment, then asked again: "Today is your birthday?"

Qi Yan: "It's rare that the Second Highness still remembers."

Nangong Shunv stared at Qi Yan for a long time, then said quietly: "How can I remember your birthday? It's just that I went to Xiaomei's house a few days ago and heard her mention it by chance."

Qi Yan's heart skipped a beat, but the expression on his face remained unchanged, and he didn't speak to her.

Nangong Shunv said again: "This matter of yours...in the end, you have gone too far. I really can't figure out what kind of status my little sister is, how can you do such a thing?"

Qi Yan pursed her lips: "It's the minister who was confused for a while... I have been out for too long and I was impulsive."

Nangong Shunv was startled when she heard this, her expression changed a few times and she fell silent.

The two sat opposite each other like this, Qi Yan observed Nangong Shunv without any trace, and found that her eyes were slack, and her spirit was also in a trance.

Qi Yan became nervous, and countless conjectures flashed in her mind: Could it be that something happened to Nangong Jingnv?

Nangong Shunv felt that her heart was sore, she thought she would not feel it, but she never thought that when she learned about that incident, it touched her much more than knowing that her real son-in-law, Lu Zhongxing, raised her younger brother. times.

Just a few days ago, Ji Ya said the same thing to Nangong Shunv.

Ever since she and Jiya had a romantic encounter on New Year's Eve, Jiya has been finding all kinds of excuses to pester her. Once, she unexpectedly used some means to get out of the palace and went directly to Princess Zhuohua's mansion...

But Nangong Shunv is very firm despite Jiya's good words. Jiya is her father's concubine, and she has made a big mistake and cannot make the same mistakes again and again.

That day she sternly reprimanded Ji Ya, letting her die for this unreasonable idea.The latter left in despair, but he really didn't appear in front of her anymore.

The clean days are finally coming, but Nangong Shunv finds that she doesn't seem to be that happy, and her disturbed heart is hard to calm down.

Nangong Jingnv, who just moved back to the palace, sent an invitation, and Nangong Shunv packed her whole suit and moved to Weiming Palace.

One day, Nangong Jingnv left the palace "as usual" early in the morning. Nangong Shunv was a little bored and decided to take a walk in the Imperial Garden, but behind a rockery, she heard the melodious voice between men and women.

Nangong Shunv frowned, thinking that maybe she couldn't bear the loneliness of the maid and the guards. She didn't want to pay attention to these dirty things, but when she was in a trance, she heard this woman's voice, which was a little familiar... …

The man panted for a while, and said in a low voice, "The time for the morning court is almost here... We will still be here ten days later."

Nangong Shunv was horrified, this voice was even more familiar to her!Hearing that the people inside seemed to be coming out, Nangong Shunv hid behind a big rock in a panic, and the sound of the man's footsteps gradually faded away.Nangong Shunv peeked out one eye, and only saw the background of the man disappearing into the corner of the corridor. Although she didn't see his face, the man was wearing the prince's exclusive court dress, and she was familiar with his figure.

From behind the rockery, accompanied by the beating of Nangong Shunv's heartbeat, there was a thin and thin sound, hitting her eardrums one after another.

Nangong Shunv bit her lip, unexpectedly went around behind the rockery, her eyes met...

Ji Ya's expression was calmer than Nangong Shunv imagined, no, it should be said to be too calm, in comparison, she seemed more like the person who was raped.

Ji Ya glanced at Nangong Shunv, lowered her head and fastened her belt.

"why you."

Nangong Shunv's body swayed, and she supported the rockery, with anger, astonishment, shock, and sadness flowing in her eyes...

Before she could say anything, Ji Ya squeezed out from the gap beside her: "If you don't want your father to be pissed off, I advise you to act as if you didn't see anything."

Nangong Shunv reacted for a long time before she came back to her senses. Jiya had already walked a certain distance, she chased after her, Jiya turned her head and glanced at her, there was no emotion in her amber eyes, and said lightly: "This is not Where to talk, if you have to talk, come to my palace."

Nangong Shunv laughed back in anger: "I'm going to pick up all the troubles here, so why not just say a few words?"

It's a pity that her perennial self-cultivation prevented her from uttering such obscene words, so she could only hold back her anger and followed Jiya to her bedroom.

After retreating from the palace and closing the door of the dormitory, Ji Ya said straight to the point: "It's what you saw, I..."

Nangong Shunv: "Do you know what you are doing?! He is the prince, the father's own flesh and blood, and you are the father's favorite concubine! You, you...how can..."

Ji Ya calmly stared at Nangong Shunv who was trembling unconsciously, and replied in a low voice: "Why not? Aren't you his own flesh and blood?"

One sentence choked back all Nangong Shunv's words, she stared at Jiya in a daze, her eyes were full of hurt, she bit her lower lip tightly with her white teeth and her eyes were still red.

There was finally a trace of panic in the amber eyes, but it was fleeting.

Nangong Shunv laughed several times: "You... how can you compare?"

Jiya: "Why not?!" The tone was a little eager.

Nangong Shunv: "Okay, okay, okay, I'll just pretend I didn't see what happened to you, don't worry, I will keep my mouth shut."

After saying these words, Nangong Shunv turned around and left.

But Jiya held her wrist from behind, pursed her lips, and said nothing.

Nangong Shunv didn't look back, so naturally she couldn't see the struggle and confusion in Jiya's eyes.

Nangong Shunv: "You let go."

Jiya: "I'm just... lonely for a while."

The red eye sockets finally couldn't bear the weight of the tears, and a full teardrop slid down the beautiful face.

Nangong Shunv laughed: "Yes, we are all lonely for a while. Let me go, please."

Ji Ya opened her mouth and let go of her hand at the same time.

Nangong Shunv left without looking back, sleeping in the same bed with Nangong Jingnv at night, Nangong Shunv was completely sleepless, Qi Yan was mentioned in the chat, Nangong Jingnv sighed and told Qi Yan's birthday.

Nangong Shunv didn't have to come, nor should she.

Thinking that he had nowhere to go and his heart was in a mess, he simply changed into men's clothes and came alone.

In her memory Qi Yan was an excellent listener, even if she couldn't say much to him, it would be good to avoid being alone.

"Second Highness?"

Seeing that Nangong Shunv's face became more and more ugly, Qi Yan couldn't help calling out softly, could something really happen to Nangong Jingnv?

Nangong Shunv recovered her senses and looked at Qi Yan, but met a pair of amber eyes, exactly the same as Ji Ya's.

Qi Yan: "The Second Highness's complexion... seems not very good, but what happened recently?"

Nangong Shunv shook her head, guessing that Qi Yan might have something else to say, she took the initiative to explain: "Nothing happened, my little sister is doing well recently, she moved back to Weiming Palace at the request of my father, the original palace has been completed .”