Clear and Muddy Loss of Love

out of control heart gradually far away

On the occasion of the 11th year of Jingjia's Spring Festival, a decree was promulgated by the Inner Court Department.

Princess Zhenzhen's son-in-law, Jing Jia's eight-year Tanhua Lang Qi Yan, officially bestowed the word: Yuanjun.

Because Qi Yan was a student of Jinzhou, Gao Tang died young, so he never received a watch letter.Today, I have been officially worshiped as the minister of the Ministry of Industry and Technology of the third grade, and the emperor bestowed the name: Yuanjun.

The imperial decree came down to the jade seal, which seemed to be given by the sick emperor, but anyone with a discerning eye could tell who made the seal.

It is not difficult to guess who can work for His Majesty to issue orders on his behalf.

In order to save Qi Yan from being criticized, Nangong Jingnv made a special trip to the palace.

After all, from ancient times to the present, the characters are given by the elders to the younger generations. Although she is a princess, it is somewhat demeaning to use the characters for her son-in-law.

At the beginning, the father probably wanted to save himself from being wronged, and woke Qi Yan up with the matter of words.But in Nangong Jingnv's view: it is completely unnecessary.

When Nangong Rang heard her proposal, a flash of relief flashed in his eyes, and he patted the back of her hand to signal Sijiu Dai to draft the imperial decree, and brought the jade seal to drop down.

Looking at his beloved daughter who grew up day by day, Nangong Rang felt a sense of emotion: Back then, he appointed this "ridiculous" marriage just to prevent his beloved daughter from marrying into the Taiwei's mansion, but he didn't want to make a real achievement. Good marriage.

He is a person who has experienced it. Looking at his daughter's demeanor and savoring the meaning of the words, he knows that his daughter is happy.

Although his physical condition is now stable, he also deeply understands the impermanence of God's will.I don't know how much time I have left for myself, and I feel more and more sad when I look at my beloved daughter, fearing that some things will be too late.

After recovering for more than half a year, Nangong Rang still could only speak simple words, and half of his body was up and down. When it was good, he could walk around with Sijiu's support, but when it was bad, he didn't even feel conscious.After unloading the heavy court affairs, there will be more time to think.

In his more than 50 years of life, he has pursued too many things.

From the very beginning, I wanted to fight for a corner in the court, and later became the prime minister with one person under one man and over ten thousand people. I wanted to use my own strength to leave a mark in the history books, and I sat on the throne by accident, worrying On the contrary, there are more...

At this point today, Nangong Rang's last wish...

He stared at Nangong Jingnv with his cloudy old eyes, his originally hazy thoughts were firm and clear.

……

Qi Yan and Lu Zhongxing had a big fight on the royal road, and were witnessed by the officials. Even if Nan Gongda wanted to make a major incident smaller, he couldn't do too much, so they were fined three years' salary and suspended for three months for self-reflection.

The day before New Year's Eve, the door of the Consort's Mansion was deserted, but one person still came to give the New Year's gift.

Gong Yanghuai, the servant of the Ministry of Rites, stopped outside the door of the son-in-law's mansion with two servants carrying annual gifts. After counting nine cold days, the concierge thought that no one would come, so he went to the ear room to keep warm.

Gong Yanghuai knocked on the door knocker, and someone agreed after a while, the porter poked his head out from the small door, he knew Gong Yanghuai, this lord is a frequent visitor to the son-in-law's mansion.

Hastily knelt down in front of Gong Yanghuai: "For the villain, please refer to the servant!"

Gong Yanghuai smiled and helped him up: "Is your master there?"

"It's inside, the villain will pass it on now."

Gong Yanghuai: "No need, Mr. Yuan is not in good health in this severe cold weather, you can go in with me and inform him, don't work on him."

The concierge hurriedly agreed, walked back to the house in three steps and opened the gate, and made a "please" gesture to Gong Yanghuai: "please come inside, my lord."

Gong Yanghuai took out the gift list from his bosom and handed it to the porter, and his servant stepped forward to receive the New Year gift from the servants of Gongyang's mansion. Gong Yanghuai ordered: "You two go back first, I will stay in Yuanjun's mansion today. Come eat."

The servant answered, saluted and left the son-in-law's mansion.

Gong Yanghuai seemed to be in a good mood today, and he had a few conversations with the concierge on the way, he was very familiar with the son-in-law's mansion, so he didn't need to lead the way.

When he came outside the study, the concierge asked Gong Yanghuai to wait for him to come to the door, bent down and said respectfully: "Master Gongyang, Mr. Gongyang is here."

Qi Yan's voice immediately came from the study: "Please come in quickly." Qi Yan came out from behind the desk: "It's so cold, why is Baishi here?"

Gong Yanghuai turned around and closed the door of the study, and suddenly showed a teasing smile when he turned around: "I haven't congratulated Mr. Yuan on getting the letter, but I can do something in the future."

Qi Yan smiled brightly, and replied: "I'll let you make fun of me, how dare you make fun of the name given by the imperial court?"

Gongyang Huai Dale: "Don't come here, do you really think that I have never read a book? Don't forget that you and I were admitted in the same year, and I was still the second place!" How could the inscription be given by His Majesty himself? I think it’s probably because His Highness Zhen Zhen is full of affection for you and is ashamed to say it, so he made a special detour."

Qi Yan smiled and said nothing, she knew what Gong Yanghuai said was true.Feeling the blessing and comfort in the other party's eyes, Qi Yan's heart became more and more heavy.

Gong Yanghuai: "His Royal Highness Zhen Zhen is in harmony with you, and friends are also happy for you. You have been married for three years, why haven't you seen any children?"

He does not mean that.A word of concern hit Qi Yan's heartache again...

Xiaodie's matter is of course one thing, but what worries her even more is: the Wei country believes in Confucianism, and the whole court practices parents who are physically, hair, and skin-affected.Officials generally seldom shave their beards, and at most simply trim them to make themselves look tidy. Qi Yan was a young consort before, so no one cared about this.

After this year, in the eyes of others, she is just a young man who has passed the weak crown, and if she no longer has a beard, she may cause criticism...

But as a woman, she used banned drugs to suppress her feminine characteristics, which is already against the sky, so how can she really be the same as a man?

It turns out that everything is self-deception...

Last month, she asked Ding You to ask her master for a skin-washing prescription, intending to wash off Xiaodie and her tattoos, but it has been a month since there was no letter from her, which made Qi Yan a little uneasy .

Although Xiaodie doesn't get sick frequently recently, once she gets sick, she behaves frequently. What should she do if the tattoo on her waist is seen by others?

Anxiety one after another, firmly pressed on Qi Yan's heart, making her unable to laugh.

Seeing his friend in a daze, Gong Yanghuai thought that his abrupt words had offended him, so he patted Qi Yan's arm and said softly, "Yuan Jun?"

Qi Yan came back to his senses, read the search in Gong Yanghuai's eyes, and replied with a smile: "Ah... I just thought about how the princess moved back to the Weiming Palace, and I hope Baishi doesn't mind if I am distracted for a while."

One sentence explained the problem of heirs from the side, and Gong Yanghuai sighed softly and said in relief: "You also know that His Highness Zhenzhen is very honorable, and has been favored by His Majesty for so many years. Now that His Majesty is not in good health, it is natural that he hopes to enjoy some children. The family happiness around the knees can be regarded as human nature..."

Qi Yan nodded, but did not answer.

Gongyanghuai said to himself again: "Thanks to Mr. Yuan's care and generosity... not only woke me up, but also saved my Gongyang Mansion from danger. Originally, my father was going to come over to give the New Year's gift in person. But considering the current situation of Yuan Jun, it is not easy to make too much publicity, so I let the eldest brother come. I am concerned about you! So I volunteered to come..." While speaking, Gong Yanghuai took out a stack of things from his arms and put them on the small table , and pushed it in front of Qi Yan.

Qi Yan: "This is?"

Gong Yanghuai: "This is the 1 taels of silver note from Tongyuan Bank. Mr. Yuan lent it to me back then, and now I have repaid it in full."

Qi Yan looked at a stack of 1000 taels of bank notes in front of him, each of which was enough for a family of four to live in peace for a lifetime...

Gongyanghuai's salary is comparable to his own, and together with the other two in Gongyang's house, even if he cut down on food and clothing for a year, he would not be able to save so much cash.

The origin of the money was ready to be revealed, Qi Yan hooked the corners of her lips and put away the bank notes, and couldn't help but flashed back the image of Gong Yanghuai during the child's examination: scolding Ding Fengshan for being an idiot, and saying that the examination institute was full of righteous indignation All of them are useless questions, and they want to contribute to the common people with a passion.

It's only been a few years... and he has become a member of the search for people's fat and people's anointing.

Although the country of Wei is not riddled with holes, it has also seen defeat.

But which of the officials in the DPRK and China is not full of oil and rich in money?

Qi Yan sighed a little, and at the same time felt a sense of joy in her heart, and then she pulled away from the emotions of the authorities, and examined her own thoughts with the mentality of an outsider.

She secretly liked the corruption of the Wei court, and at the same time lamented the changes in Gongyanghuai. It must be said that human nature is so complicated.Staying in one place for a long time, even if you have a purpose that has never wavered, it is inevitable that you will...

Well, the rabbit died and the fox was sad.

Qi Yan thought so.

Although these thoughts were complicated, it only took a moment to sort them out, so Gong Yanghuai didn't see the clues.

Seeing that Qi Yan accepted the bank note calmly, Gong Yanghuai was very happy, the two talked about some trivial matters in court, Qi Yan stayed with Gong Yanghuai for dinner...

Qi Yan went back to the private house at night, why does the son-in-law who "can't see at night" leave the house late at night?

Qi Yan no longer has so many scruples.She went to Ding You, and said straight to the point: "Where's the prescription for washing the skin?"

Ding You's gaze was obviously a little dodgy, and he hesitated: "You also know, the master...she can't see the end of the dragon, and sometimes she can't be contacted for a while."

"I'll remind you again! Don't worry..."

Qi Yan was silent for a while, then asked: "How did you ask for the prescription?"

Ding You hurriedly said: "Don't worry, I didn't mention anything about Xiaodie!"

Qi Yan: "That's good. Even with your medical skills, you can't make a prescription for skin washing?"

Ding You smiled wryly, and said helplessly: "You think highly of me too much. I was taught by my master. What should be learned and what should not be learned has been stipulated early in the morning. The prescription of skin washing is a miracle medicine. Trials and trials are needed... There are no tattoo artisans among the people in Wei, and those who understand these are all working in the yamen, where do you want me to find test products?"

Qi Yan: "Forget it, you can go and get Xiaodie's pulse again to see how her health is going. If possible, I still want to get rid of this child."

Ding You: "Understood."

……

After seeing off Ding Youqiyan and returning to Xiaodie's room, the morning sickness lasted for a month and finally got better.But Xiaodie, who was already thin, was even more emaciated, and the diagnosis was disappointing: Xiaodie's body was not suitable for taking abortion pills, and Ding You also told Qi Yan another sad news: Xiaodie's body was worse than he imagined. To be weak, too weak to make up for it, the recovery is not satisfactory, and there is still a big risk for Xiaodie to give birth in the future.

Qi Yan's gaze flicked across Xiaodie's belly, which could still be considered flat, her lost and found sister who was sleeping soundly in front of her.

She couldn't bear more blows... The danger came one day later, even if the child was born and she was a villain herself, it didn't matter.

There is still good news.A few days ago, Qian Yuan found two orphans for Qi Yan, both of whom were deaf-mute, Qian Yuan drew up a life-and-death contract for them, signed the painting and taught them, and arranged to wait in Xiaodie's room .

Xiaodie didn't seem to dislike them, Qi Yan also breathed a sigh of relief, after all her identity could not always accompany Xiaodie.But at the same time a dark thought arose.

Qi Yan appreciates the ability and loyalty of the housekeeper Qian Yuan, but...does the other party know too much?

It's fine if I didn't find Xiaodie before, I always used him appropriately, but now that I found Xiaodie, I feel uncomfortable when I look at Qian Yuan again.

Qi Yan was silent again, her state of mind changed drastically during this time.Even she couldn't hold back anymore, her dark thoughts came one after another, which greatly violated her original intention.

Her purpose is clear - revenge.I will not misplace an enemy and a stumbling block on the road to revenge, but try not to involve innocent people, but now...

Qi Yan spread out her palms and buried her face in them.

Today is Jingjia's 11th New Year's Eve, according to the ancient rules, the son-in-law should spend the night at the Princess Mansion.

Nangong Jingnv got up early and finished washing, changed into Ying Jinger's palace attire and waited for Qi Yan.

Today there is still a palace banquet that needs to go together, and then they will go back to the mansion together.

Qi Yan stayed up all night last night, and this morning Xiaodie made a fuss again, she looked at the sky and hurriedly changed into a set of clothes, staring at a pair of red eyes and stepped on the carriage to the princess mansion.

When Nangong Jingnv heard that Qi Yan was coming, she put down the scroll in her hand and greeted her happily. Qi Yan stopped in front of Nangong Jingnv, and under the watchful eyes of all the maids in the mansion, she was about to hem her robe, but Nangong Jingnv took the first step. Supporting Qi Yan, looking carefully at her face, he frowned first, and then said: "The son-in-law is now a third-rank official of the imperial court, so you don't need to kneel when you see me."

"Your Highness, etiquette cannot be broken..."

Nangong Jingnu replied indifferently: "Rules are dead, but people are alive. In this princess mansion, I am the rules. From now on, you don't have to bow down to me."

Nangong Jingnu's voice was not loud, but the surrounding maids could hear her clearly. She was not only speaking to Qi Yan, but also to the servants in the mansion.

After finishing speaking, Nangong Jingnv naturally took Qi Yan's hand and walked towards the main hall. The two walked shoulder to shoulder through the thin layer of snow on the ground and entered the main hall.

Nangong Jingnv asked Qi Yan to sit down, and she herself sat opposite to Qi Yan. At this moment, she let go of her dignity and looked at Qi Yan with distress, and said softly: "It's only been a few days since I saw you, why are you so skinny?" Is it? And why are the eye sockets so red, did you not sleep well last night? Or is it sick?" Thinking of this, Nangong Jingnv was a little dissatisfied, and planned to change Qi Yan's chief physician...

Qi Yan was silent for a moment, his sullen face showed a trace of fatigue, and he said in a discussing tone: "Your Highness...can you let me sleep here for a while?"

Nangong Jingnv was very distressed. In her impression: Qi Yan was silent, stubborn in his bones, kept etiquette to the point of dogma, and the palace banquet would start in a few hours. If he hadn't been sleepy to the limit, he Such a request will never be made.

Nangong Jingnv's guess was right, Qi Yan hadn't slept well for several nights, and Xiaodie exhausted her last bit of energy by making such a fuss in the morning. Besides, I desperately want to get a good night's sleep.

Seeing that Nangong Jingnv was silent, Qi Yan softened her tone and added: "It's only an hour, before the palace banquet..."

Nangong Jingnv interrupted Qi Yan with a smile: "Just in time, last night a stray cat came from nowhere broke into the inner courtyard and barked all night, I am exhausted~!"

Qi Yan no longer had the energy to tell the truth from the fake, her amber eyes flickered: "Then...?"

Nangong Jingnu: "Would you like to sleep with me for a while, son-in-law?"

Qi Yan: "Okay."

The two went back to the dormitory hand in hand, Nangong Jingnv took the initiative to say: "Drag your coat and shoes and socks and sleep inside, I will call you when the time comes."

Qi Yan: "How can this work?"

In Wei country, even a simple bed is very particular. Generally, the husband sleeps on the inner side, and the wife sleeps on the outer side, so that the husband can get out of bed at any time, but in the Princess Mansion since Qi Yan and Nangong Jingnv got married , Qi Yan is sleeping on the outside.

Nangong Jingnv took a sharp look at Qi Yan, the man's eyes were reddened and she was still struggling, she didn't say anything, but took the initiative to take off Qi Yan's coat, and pushed her onto the Ba Bu bed: "Shoes and socks Do you want me to take it off for you?"

Qi Yan supported Nangong Jingnv who was about to squat down: "I dare not, I... I will do it myself."

Nangong Jingnv smiled and sat next to Qi Yan.She didn't care about serving Qi Yan, but she was afraid that her movements would scare the man's drowsiness away, so she didn't force her.

Qi Yan took off her shoes and socks and turned over to sleep inside, pulled the quilt over her body, Nangong Jingnv also took off her outer shirt and shoes and socks and lay down outside.

Qi Yan's eyelids twitched, and he said falteringly, "Your Highness, I'm asleep."

Nangong Jingnv moved inside, turned sideways and put her hands on Qi Yan's waist naturally: "Yes."

A moment later, Qi Yan's brows stretched out and her breathing evenly...

Nangong Jingnv sighed silently as she looked at the other party's sleeping face.Qi Yan has turned dark and thin, and the old palace dress is loose on her body.

She couldn't help raising her hand but stopped in mid-air, sketching Qi Yan's long eyebrows and soft outline in the air.

When she was quiet, Nangong Jingnv felt miraculous: If Qi Yan hadn't stopped her just now, she would have willingly taken off his shoes and socks for him, and looking back now, she didn't think it was a big deal.

Today is the fifth day of the suspension of court, and it is also the fifth day of her return home. Qi Yan has not appeared for the past five days... Although Nangong Jingnv is disappointed, she is not as scratchy and cranky as before.

At this moment, seeing Qi Yan's emaciated appearance, only heartache remained.

Nangong Jingnu looked at the time hourglass on the table, there were still three hours before the palace banquet started, and the Princess Mansion was relatively close to the imperial palace, so Qi Yan could sleep for another two hours.

She didn't sleep, and after Qi Yan fell asleep, she sat on the head of the bed, tucked the quilt for her, and then took the book on the bedside table to read, two hours passed quickly Nangong Jingnv closed the book Lying down beside Qi Yan again, she sighed softly and felt a little unbearable.

Qi Yan was really tired, and would hum softly from time to time after falling asleep.

Nangong Jingnv closed her eyes, but raised her knees and gently bumped into Qi Yan's waist. The latter hummed softly, and slowly opened her eyes.

Qi Yan opened his misty eyes, and there was a tingling pain in his temple.

Nangong Jingnv seemed to be in a deep sleep, she looked at the sky outside and it was almost time, Qi Yan opened her mouth but did not "wake up" the other party immediately.

It seems that I haven't looked at this girl for a long time... Her facial features are opened, and her appearance is more dignified and charming, and the childishness between her brows has faded a lot.

Qi Yan's mood was a bit complicated, and she couldn't help but straighten the broken hair between Nangong Jingnv's forehead, and caressed her cheek along the peak of her eyebrows, Nangong Jingnv's heart shuddered, and she forced her breathing so as not to change her rhythm. But the sweetness in her heart couldn't be suppressed no matter what, she almost wanted to throw herself into Qi Yan's arms and tell her how much she missed him...

"Your Highness? Wake up..."

Qi Yan withdrew her hand and rubbed her fingertips, the temperature of Nangong Jingnv was still there.

"Hmm~."

"Your Highness? It's almost time, and it's time for us to enter the palace."

Only then did Nangong Jingnv open her eyes, with a big smile on her face.