Can't be chased

The rain hit the window making subtle and regular noises. An Fan slept very far outside on a large double bed, but there was half a bed between the two of them.

An Fan had a bit of a fever at night, and in a daze, he seemed to hear someone whispering in his ear, but he couldn't make out the specific content. A kneeling man appeared in front of him, hugging him and crying.

An Fan was a little surprised to look at his hand around the man's shoulder, it was a child's hand.

"Fanfan, live well, remember, never..." The voice blurred, and in the end it was all repeated "I'm sorry".

don't want what?And why do you say sorry?

An Fan was very disturbed, he wanted to push the man away to ask for clarification, but he couldn't break away from his embrace.He was in a hurry and struggled hard, the man raised his head from his shoulders, but it was a different person.

There were also tears on his face, his eyes were red, and he was full of panic. He wrapped his hands around An Fan tightly: "Fanfan, uncle can't help it, please forgive uncle..."

Unlike the closeness brought by the previous man, this man only made him feel panic.He went to break the man's hands, and found that he had grown up, and it was a pair of young people's hands.

Suddenly, many people poured in from all directions. They were dressed in black and had a strong figure. They put their hands on An Fan and the man, and easily separated them.

This kind of separation brought complete fear, An Fan even stretched out his hand to the man before, begging him not to let those people take him away, but the man remained silent.

What's next?The dark room, the people walking in and out, the whip on the wall, the pain, the fear, the shame/shame... He seemed to have spent his whole life in that prison cell, repeating it all the time, slowly getting used to it I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not sad, I live day by day.

"Anfan!"

An Fan suddenly woke up with a jerk, his head was dizzy and swollen, and his eyes were so heavy that he couldn't open them for a while.

After he slowed down for half a minute, he opened his eyes again to find Sheng Ming frowning at him.

"what happened?"

Sheng Ming seemed to have been up for a while, ignored his question and turned around to go out.

An Fan checked the time, it was 23:[-].He seldom slept in before, he liked to get up early to make breakfast for Sheng Ming, and then send him out to work.

But today he didn't feel anything, it was all the tenderness of a person's messy thinking.Although he has known and accepted these things for a long time, but he still needs two days to adjust them if they are really unfolded before his eyes again.

An Fan hugged the quilt and sat up, feeling very uncomfortable, so he leaned against the head of the bed to relax for a while.Sheng Ming came in again, asked him to open his mouth roughly, and stuffed the thermometer in.

38.5 ° C.

Sheng Ming's face seemed to be covered with icicles: "If you know that you are a sick child, you should pay more attention."

An Fan's health is indeed not very good, and he often falls ill. Although it is not a serious illness, it can sometimes last for a long time. In the past two years, he has gotten better than before.

He lowered his eyes: "I'm sorry."

Sheng Ming threw the thermometer aside, started to change clothes, and only said: "Breakfast is on the table. After you finish eating, go take your medicine. If it doesn't work, go to the hospital."

An Fan nodded, and replied again: "I'm sorry to trouble you."

Sheng Ming's buttoned hand paused for a moment, then continued to move. He didn't speak to An Fan again, and went out after packing.

An Fan dragged his limp body to wash up. On the dining table was a packed breakfast. He had no appetite, so he ate some obediently. After packing up, he went to Sheng Ming's study.

His favorite place in this house is the study room, perhaps because he remembers the home when he was a child, and there was also a study room with many books.

An Fan couldn't read well.

When he first came here, he looked at a room full of books and felt close, but he just tasted the atmosphere and never touched it. First, he couldn't understand it, and second, he didn't dare to touch Sheng Ming's things casually.

Later, Sheng Ming found him a dictionary from the corner of the bookshelf, and pulled out a few novels from the professional books on the shelf, and found the best entertainment for An Fan to pass the time.

He doesn't know many words, and reading is actually very difficult. Most of the time is spent looking up the dictionary, but he likes to stay in the study. When he looks up, he sees Sheng Ming who is working hard at the side, and then he continues to look down. A dictionary, or practicing calligraphy stroke by stroke.

The study was very quiet at that time, and he liked that kind of quietness, especially when he was with Sheng Ming in that state.

The grid where there were only two novels was gradually filled, and replaced with easier-to-read picture books and novels, and then they were taken out and placed on a new small bookshelf next to them.

An Fan has never seen Sheng Ming put those books in, and he doesn't know whether he bought them, or his assistant bought them, or they were just gifts from others. He never asks, but he can't hold back every time he finds out that there are new books. rejoice.

He basically doesn't need to use a dictionary to read now, but he still can't write well. Every stroke is very serious, but the combination is childish and awkward.

In the afternoon, the rain stopped. Although the sun did not rise, the sky quickly turned into a sunny state.

An Fan took the medicine, slept on the sofa in the study, woke up feeling better, and was about to go to the supermarket to buy some things, but just as he left the community, he ran into someone he didn't want to meet.

Li Chengfang didn't know if he had been waiting here all this time, and he found An Fan before he could think of a way to go around.

Li Chengfang's condition is not very good, his suit is messed up, and he looks a bit embarrassed.

He came over to grab Anfan in two or three steps, and said the same thing as the previous two days: "Anfan, please help me, please."

An Fan didn't want to argue with him in public, he frowned and wanted to break away from Li Chengfang: "I told you, I can't help it, no matter how many times you come to me, it won't help."

Li Chengfang didn't listen, and continued to beg, until he found that Anfan's face did not show any signs of looseness, but was completely bored, and there was a hint of contempt.

It was this trace of contempt that ignited Li Chengfang, his face changed from earnest and pitiful to hideous, and then he grabbed Anfan and dragged him to a corner where no one was around.

An Fan was already sick, and he was no match for him in terms of strength. It wasn't until he was slapped hard, that he managed to hide himself, and his scalp felt severe pain.

Li Chengfang's voice was as cold as a snake: "Bitch, did you show your face? Now Pongshang Shengming looks down on me? Isn't it the time to lie down and let me/fuck you?"

He grabbed Anfan's face and suddenly smiled, that smile was full of malice.His breath sprayed next to Anfan's ear, and his voice was very soft: "You monster, you were pregnant with my child back then."

Satisfied to see the body of his subordinate trembling, Li Chengfang smiled even more proudly: "I beg you, if you don't listen, do you have to show me those photos to Sheng Ming? Oh, do you remember, I took pictures before, don't you Not enough photos."

It took An Fan a lot of effort to restrain his trembling, his voice was tense: "You also know that I am a bitch, so why do you think what I said is useful to Sheng Ming? I want Sheng Ming to give If you have a way out, you might as well ask him face to face."

Li Chengfang didn't expect him to be so calm, and he slapped furiously, but was blocked by Anfan's raised hand.

"Sheng Ming is willing to keep me by his side because this face can still be seen. Don't make him angry and cut off your last bit of life."

An Fan let go of his hand, not caring about Li Chengfang who was a little shocked by his resistance, and straightened his clothes.With his back straightened, he turned and left, only walking in the direction of home.

Li Chengfang's voice softened again from behind: "Anfan, I just made a mess, I was wrong. You just look at our previous face, help me..."

An Fan thought it was a little funny, he obviously had nothing at all, why did some people always think that he could help?

He paused, but didn't look back: "Before? The worst/worst thing I've ever done in my life is liking you."

An Fan's hands and feet were already a little weak when he was in the elevator, and when he finally got home, he rushed straight into the bathroom, throwing up almost bile.

The stomach that was so painful and convulsed relieved a little, he grabbed the sink, still retching.The face of the person in the mirror was pale, An Fan looked over, and met a pair of empty eyes, he backed up a little in shock, and then stopped.

It turned out to be me.

It turned out that after so many years, he still hasn't forgotten the broken 17-year-old.

An Fan met Li Chengfang that year.

At that time, he moved around with Qin Side, so he always looked for short-term jobs. When he was working in a hotel, he met Li Chengfang, who was a part-time college student during vacation.

An Fan has a subtle admiration and affection for cultural people from the heart, and he took care of Li Chengfang a lot when he first came, although in fact he is several years younger than Li Chengfang.

Li Chengfang was a little surprised at his help at the beginning, and would occasionally decline it, but after a while, he got used to it, and began to help Anfan, and the reward was to teach Anfan how to read.

Later, when An Fan thought about himself at that time, he only felt that lard had deceived his heart, and he thought that Li Chengfang was good, handsome, polite, knowledgeable, and taught himself to read.

Anfan's little thoughts thought he had hidden them well, but they had already fallen into Li Chengfang's eyes. He began to make some vague/ambiguous little movements from time to time, and made some physical contact when teaching Anfan to read. Gradually, the two Human emotions are only separated by a layer of paper.And this layer of paper was completely pierced because Li Chengfang discovered Anfan's secret.

The secret he had hidden for many years was exposed in the opened bathroom door, and it collapsed in the shocked eyes.

At that time, his eyes were dark, and he didn't know how to move his hands and feet. When Li Chengfang stepped back, he bumped into the door and made a sound before he woke up. He hurriedly pushed him out, and firmly pressed against the door.

Li Chengfang said the three words he couldn't hear the most outside the door, An Fan bit his hand fiercely, he was so frightened that he didn't know what to do, it took a long time for Li Chengfang's voice to fall into his consciousness.

Li Chengfang said, Anfan, don't be afraid, I won't tell this matter.

He also said, Anfan, don't worry, I won't think of you because of this.

An Fan sat in the bathroom until his whole body was cold. He only felt that the outside had become quiet, so he dared to open the door and go out tentatively. Then, Li Chengfang, who had been staying in the room, grabbed him.

Li Chengfang put his arms around his shoulders to prevent him from leaving, made many promises, and even said he liked it for the first time, and then repeated those things over and over again.

An Fan was stunned. He never thought that there might be someone who could accept this deformed self, but he couldn't accept it himself.To him, the love he got after the secret was revealed was more dazzling and wonderful than the so-called divine gift.

After the two got together, Li Chengfang hinted at sex/things a few times, but Anfan rejected them all.On the one hand, he was worried that Li Chengfang would be angry, but on the other hand, he couldn't pass the hurdle in his heart.

Li Chengfang did flirt with him at the beginning, but after being rejected two or three times, he seemed to understand Anfan's knot in his heart, and stopped arguing with him because of it. Instead, Anfan felt a little guilty, but he was also full of sweetness .

The 17-year-old An Fan thought he had found the happiness in life. Like every boy who fell in love for the first time, he longed for a future with his partner, but this future was completely crushed not long after.

An Fan never imagined that Li Chengfang would drug him, and then rape//violent him in the room where he had spoken countless love words.

In the severe pain, he clenched his teeth, and he only thought about one sentence repeatedly in his heart, it turned out that he was really unloved.The more times you recite it, the more you will accept it and get used to it. It will not be so sad.

When he woke up the next day, the first thing Li Chengfang said to him was, don't even try to tell others, or I'll tell you about your bisexuality.

An Fan got up from the bed, his fingertips were shaking from the pain, he didn't shout or scold, he said calmly, "I won't say anything."

Li Chengfang calmed down, came up to hug him, and said in his mouth: "Actually, it's nothing, we are already in love, isn't this normal?"

An Fan let him hug him, but his voice was still calm: "I won't say it." He turned his head and stared at Li Chengfang, without a trace of brilliance in his eyes: "But I won't forget, I know what it is."

He resolutely broke up with Li Chengfang, and his first love lasted less than a month.

Li Chengfang lost his temper and broke a lot of things. Anfan ignored him and sat on the bed hugging his knees, as if he had fallen into another world.

Li Chengfang's vacation came to an end and he left the hotel. An Fan also resigned and found a new job.

If it ends here, he can just regard it as a failed love affair with the wrong person, seal it in his memory and never touch it again, but how can fate treat Anfan a little better?

An Fan found out that he was pregnant, a man, pregnant.

He will never be able to fully recall those days, probably because it was too painful and frightening, and he artificially forgot it when it finally passed.

He bought the medicine, was in pain in the toilet alone, and then supported his body to process the blood.A child was executed by him in this way, but he didn't regret it at all.

That was the first time he felt deep-seated hatred, hated Li Chengfang, hated the unformed child, hated himself, hated the two people who brought him to this world back then.

What's the use of being hateful?He still had to be alone in the small bathroom to deal with the blood flowing out of his body without leaving a trace.

An Fan also met with Li Chengfang next time, and it was Li Chengfang who came to find him, and pressed his voice to ask if he was pregnant with a child.

An Fan didn't even want to ask him how he knew, he just wanted to leave quickly, otherwise he couldn't restrain his desire to kill Li Chengfang.

Li Chengfang didn't let him go, and kept begging him to keep the child, but when he saw it was useless, he took out a photo and stuffed it into Anfan's hand.At that time, he played both soft and hard tricks well.

An Fan's gaze was on the face of the person in the photo at first, and he almost didn't recognize it was himself, such a face that disgusted him and made him feel inferior.It was only later that he noticed what Li Chengfang wanted to show him, which was a naked//naked human body.

An Fan closed his eyes, and handed the photo to Li Chengfang again. Whatever it is, he really thinks whatever it is, no matter how bad it is, how bad it can be.

He suddenly smiled at Li Chengfang, tilting his head slightly, with a bit of cunning.

"You are late, he is gone."

It may be that the miscarriage was too sloppy and hurt the body too much. Since then, An Fan's health has been poor and he often falls ill.But it's nothing to be sick, just bear with it and you'll get over it.