Can't be chased

Song Li entered the door in a panic, already prepared for the worst, but found that the room was very quiet, and there was no chaotic scene as imagined.

Sheng Ming raised his face, unable to tell that the panicked tone came from him at all.There was nothing unusual about An Fan, and he greeted him politely with a smile on his lips.

Song Li wondered if he had auditory hallucinations before.

Just as he was about to ask, An Fan spoke first, apologetically: "Doctor Song, please come here, it's just that I concealed some things before, and I don't know if it will affect the child, so I asked Sheng Ming to please You come here."

Song Li glanced at Sheng Ming subconsciously.Sheng Ming is very domineering. In the past, most of the communication about An Fan's body was carried out by Sheng Ming and him. However, An Fan seldom put on such a posture of leading the conversation, and only had to speak when he specifically asked. Only then will I answer two sentences.

Sheng Ming was surprisingly quiet this time, sitting next to An Fan without saying a word, it was rare for him to hand over the dominance to others like this.

An Fan seemed to see what he was thinking: "Sheng Ming doesn't know much, and I'm worried that I can't explain clearly, so let me tell you directly."

This was what they discussed before Song Li came.

Just as Song Li was puzzled, in fact, the two of them still maintained the old relationship in many things. Even if they share the same feelings, the habits cannot be completely reversed after a while.

Many things are not pointed out, and it is not easy for the two to find out by themselves, and even many existing problems are not realized as problems.Like Sheng Ming who still puts An Fan under his wing forcefully and makes decisions for him on his own, like An Fan who still habitually obeys Sheng Ming's wishes, even if it goes against his own wishes.

But groping is not just a wall, you can also find a way out of stumbling, and the more staggering the road, the more precious the little progress, and the greater the joy given to the two people who have been trekking hard.

An Fan didn't want to be that shy and weak person anymore, so he used Sheng Ming as an excuse to naturally find reasons for his retreat and cowardice.He wants to stand up hard, hold Sheng Ming's hand extended to him, and walk with him on this road, not as a protected person, nor a gesture of following steps, but as an equal partner who supports each other .

Song Li looked away.Feelings are actually the most unforgiving territory for others to set foot on. Song Li understands it and warned himself not to interfere in other people's joys and sorrows. It's just that he is familiar with Anfan, and his pity and feeling that he is also a fallen person in the world makes him Unknowingly, I crossed the boundary between a doctor and a patient, and managed a little too much.

"What's the matter?"

An Fan held Sheng Ming's hand back: "You know I'm an orphan, my mother died while giving birth to me, he...is in the same situation as me."

In fact, it's not that difficult. No matter how long the painful past has passed, it seems to be someone else's story, and the sense of reality has faded a lot.

"The decision to have a child was made together by him and my father. At that time, the doctor said that there was no problem, and everything went well before giving birth to me, but there was an accident during the delivery..."

These are enough for Song Li to understand, he frowned and thought: "So you have never believed my inspection, and you think that no matter how normal it is now, you will not be able to give birth smoothly?"

In fact, he was just guessing casually while thinking, without any other meaning, but in Anfan's ears, there was a hint of disbelief and blame.

An Fan quickly apologized: "I'm sorry, Doctor Song, I just..."

The last words An He left him were engraved so deeply in his heart that he almost remembered them as the truth.He later thought about whether An He hated him. A child who had been full of expectations became the weapon to kill his lover. This fact tortured An He for six years, and made him finally choose to end with death. After him, this incident tormented Anfan for more than ten years, making him always have the fear of death when giving birth to a child.

Hearing his apology, Song Li knew that he had misunderstood what he meant, so he immediately cut off his words with a wave of his hand: "That's not what I meant, don't think too much about it."

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Sheng Ming, with deep wrinkles between his brows and drooping eyelids, covering the light in his eyes.

No wonder, Song Li sighed in his heart. He could understand An Fan's disgust before, but he couldn't figure out where An Fan's fear came from. He seemed to have always had the determination to give birth to him and die. Everything is understandable.

From the beginning of An Fan's pregnancy, Song Li took over the responsibility of his body and knew An Fan's condition very well.He was weak before pregnancy, and had a very strong reaction after pregnancy, which caused him to suffer a lot in the past few months, but apart from his extreme mental state, his physical condition was within the normal range.

The equipment needed for production and inspection at the two people's home is also very complete. An Fan will not go to the hospital at that time, so Sheng Ming has been preparing for it since early on.

Song Li was very confident in his level and didn't think there was any problem, but out of prudence, he still suggested taking Anfan to the hospital for a more rigorous examination.

The room fell into a brief silence.The change during this period was triggered by the topic of going out, and later it failed due to Sheng Ming's indulgence and pity.

Sheng Ming's heart was throbbing with pain, the child brought too many changes, life became like walking on thin ice, and the life of the two of them seemed to have passed for a long, long time.

Maybe I'm really wrong, why do I have to have a child...

"it is good."

An Fan's words were like a stone smashing a hole in a thinly icy lake, the ice shattered, and the spring water began to flow slowly.

Sheng Ming suddenly raised his head to look at him, An Fan gave him a comforting smile.His expression was very calm, as if he had never had those struggles and fears.

Next, Song Li finalized the time and some details with him, and then left in a hurry to make arrangements. An Fan's body is special, so the confidentiality work must be done well, and there are many things that need to be taken care of.

During this process, Sheng Ming didn't open his mouth to speak. Even though An Fan and Song Li were discussing there, his eyes seemed to be glued to An Fan's body. Later, he went to look at the hands they held, and An Fan gently scratched him. palm.

After Song Li left, An Fan took Sheng Ming's palm, wrapped it around his sore waist, and leaned back with peace of mind.

He closed his eyes: "I know what you want to ask."

Sheng Ming rubbed his arms around his waist gently, waiting for him to continue.

An Fan smiled slowly: "Because I really want to see him now..."

Sheng Ming's arms slid down, and his body leaned into An Fan's arms, leaning his head on his swollen stomach, but he stiffened his neck a little to save some strength, and didn't dare to press it all down.

That was already a very intimate and tender gesture, An Fan put his hands on his hair and rubbed it gently.

"From a long time ago, I was afraid of having a baby. I thought it would make me a monster and I couldn't meet people. I thought so until some time ago. But one day I let go of those visions and found that it is actually a child. Such a good existence."

"Sheng Ming, I told you at that time that I love you, so I want a child from you. It may have been false at the time, but it is true now."

"So I hope it's doing well, too."

Sheng Ming kissed his stomach, then propped himself up, and kissed all the way up, An Fan's clothes were ripped apart by him, and his breathing became short of breath.

"That's not important, the most important thing is that you have to be good."

Going around, the positions of the two changed, An Fan became the one who was sincerely looking forward to the child, and Sheng Ming became the one who could give up the child tremblingly for the sake of his body.

"Don't worry. In the past, I was the one who got into the horns, but now I think about it, I'm stupid enough."

"Then you're telling the truth." Before An Fan could refute, Sheng Ming continued, "I'm also stupid, and I might not be very smart in the future, so you must tell me directly if you have anything to say."

His heart seemed to have collapsed, and the corners of An Fan's eyes were wet, and his voice was soft: "I know. Are you an old man? You keep saying that getting old must be annoying."

"Then let's grow old together and see which of the two old men is more annoying."

An Fan laughed, put his hands on his stomach and gently stroked it, and for the first time greeted his baby who had been with him for more than five months with warmth and comfort.

The more he loves this child these days, the more often he thinks of that child many years ago, the existence he hated so much, and suddenly finds that there is no reason to hate it, it is obviously the most innocent existence .

The heartache pierced through the determination and hard heart in the past, and after many years, An Fan bewilderedly gave the child a guilt.

The sunlight coming in from the window was very warm, and An Fan felt a little drowsy smelling the breath around Sheng Ming. Sheng Ming adjusted his posture to make him curl up more comfortably, and patted his shoulder with his hands.

The past, promises, pain, many people...they have truly appeared in An Fan's life, and the traces they left behind cannot be erased.

An Fan shrank into Sheng Ming's arms, feeling a kiss on his forehead in a daze, which made the corners of his mouth slightly curl up.

But it's over here, he won't be entangled by those things anymore, he can't chase, and he won't chase.His future is ahead, and his lover is beside him, holding his hand.