Boiling point

When Li Yanqi stepped on the accelerator hard and galloped out, the moment the wind howled into his neck, a brief moment of regret flashed through his mind, it was amazing, when it was supposed to be a blank moment, he actually remembered many things, and also Thinking of death.

The car slid through the curve, and under the condition of full acceleration, his body rushed out uncontrollably, and almost flew out. The sudden complex emotions made him grab the handlebar of the car tightly, and he did not hesitate to hit the ground at the cost of his feet. Stabilizing his figure, the huge friction hurt his feet, and the ensuing huge pain was like a dagger piercing into the heart, stirring it up fiercely, at that moment, he was suddenly hurt by the pain again wake up.

The dense fog that could not be dispelled shrouded the heart, and gradually cleared the clouds to see the sun.

His heart was beating fast, and he even felt relieved.

Fortunately, there was no such a shameful death.

He still has to win.

Pulling off his helmet, Li Yanqi took two seconds to take a breath, then stepped on the accelerator and rushed into the night, and then there was endless wind, which made his face hurt and his legs numb, he couldn't see anything clearly, only Know how to keep going forward.

In the quagmire, the opponent's tires were stuck in the mud and he couldn't move forward. His equipment was too heavy. Even if he abandoned the car, he couldn't reach the finish line with the advantage just now.

He fell on the spot a few times, and Li Yanqi chased after him dragging his injured leg, and finally limped past him until he was out of sight.

The rider was covered in mud, stood up reluctantly and ran a few steps, and fell again soon after.

Li Yanqi fell quite a few times, but he was able to stand up quickly and continue walking, no matter how painful the fall was.The shouts of the onlookers in the stands rang together, as if they were more excited than the parties involved in the competition.

He Xin had already come down from the stands, and was walking along the path towards the finish line. On the way, he met Jiang Zhiming. His face was blue, and he was probably so angry that he wanted to roll up his sleeves. He Xin smiled at him very unflatteringly. , tilted his head and straightened his collar, passed him without looking sideways, took a cigarette in his mouth and walked to the side of the small house to lean against, squinting and staring at the quagmire not far away.

Li Yanxi fell step by step, a few meters away from the finish line, his pants were stained all over, and his face was splashed with a few drops. In the end, both of them lost their strength, and the other driver had no hope of winning, so he simply climbed from the edge. Going up, Li Yanqi looked back at him. The fall just now was a bit heavy, and he would not be able to get up for a while. He braced his arms a few times before standing up with difficulty.

Someone next to him yelled at him, "You won, climb out quickly, don't be brave!"

Li Yanxi closed his eyes, and there was an indescribable emotion in his heart. It was the most ambiguous moment in his life. Just like what the onlookers said, winning or losing now has no meaning, but He still stubbornly wants to move on for himself until the end.

After getting out of the quagmire, Li Yanqi fell to the ground and rested for a while. Jiang Zhiming and the others walked up to him and looked at him with a look of "you are cruel", "Did you deliberately change the rules?"

Li Yanqi expressed his victory speech without being humble, "I hope you will abide by our agreement."

Jiang Zhiming stumbled, but he made a vow in front of so many people. Once he repented, he would not be able to hang out in Nanxi, so he had to bear the unhappiness in his heart, and gave Li Yanqi the middle finger, irritable After swearing a few foul words, he took the people away.

People around surrounded Li Yanqi, some were laughing, some were very excited, Li Yanqi was lying on the ground quietly, after the rebirth of despair was eliminated, he listened to the troublesome noises around him, immersed in the feeling that he had just relaxed. In the chaos and confusion.

He Xin smoked several cigarettes before the crowd dispersed, and the place that was lively just now suddenly became as quiet as a blade of grass.After a long time, he heard Li Yanqi growl in a low voice.

It was very loud, as if he wanted to shout out all the grievances he had suffered.

With a bit of piercing sadness.

He Xin saw that his back was tense, trembling, and finally shrank into a ball.

Immediately afterwards, he heard intermittent crying.

Li Yanqi squatted down, buried his face on his dirty knees, and his crying gradually changed from suppressed sobbing to venting bitter crying. Seeing this scene, He Xin, who was about to step out, silently I took it back.

He sighed in the dark, Li Yanqi's low but piercing cry lingered in his ears, and he suddenly felt very irritable.

All the joy of winning the game for him just now is gone, only the annoyance and empathetic sadness remain.

He has always felt that people can easily share joy with each other, but they can't empathize with each other's pain.In the past, Wu Rui always said "I understand you" and "I know how sad you are" to him, but he laughed and cursed back, saying that you know a fart, how could anyone understand.

Until this moment, seeing Li Yanqi crying so helplessly, he even felt a little sore in his chest, exactly the same feeling as when he was venting his anger alone.

There were slight echoes all around, and He Xin stood still and began to think about a question.

Should he go over and comfort him?

No one wants others to see their most vulnerable side, especially Li Yanqi's stubborn and stubborn character.

His weakness and his crying cannot be easily shown until he can't help it.

However, He Xin thought of herself again.

So he took a step forward, Li Yanqi just turned around crying, and the eyes of the two met in the air.

Li Yanqi's face was covered with tears and mud, he was stunned the moment he saw He Xin, he quickly lowered his head to cover up the panic on his face, and clenched his fists tightly.

He Xin threw away the cigarette, paused and then took a step in his direction.

"Don't come here." Li Yanqi said hoarsely.

He Xin was silent for a while, then looked up at him, as if asking with his eyes once, do you really need me to come over?

Li Yanqi didn't say a word, and kept looking at He Xin in the same posture he was standing just now. If it wasn't for the night wind blowing his black hair and the tear stains on the bridge of his nose, He Xin would have thought that time had stopped suddenly.

Li Yanqi finally moved, he slowly turned his head, rubbed his face with his shoulder, "Don't come over."

He Xin hummed, but said ironically, "But I want to come here." His shoes were also a little muddy, and he drew a line on the clean ground with his toes, and then stepped across.

Li Yanqi clenched his fists so hard that even his joints turned white, He Xin stared at him and said, "I stepped over."

The line was thrown away by him indiscriminately, he took three steps forward, and walked in front of Li Yanqi.

"I don't know how to comfort people, and I don't mean to find fault with you to see your jokes. I just want to say something to you." He Xin said, "I also hate having someone by my side when I cry, but I don't know if you are with me. Like me, I don't want other people to stay, but I want to hear someone tell me it's okay."

Li Yanqi's Adam's apple rolled, but he still didn't speak.

He Xin smiled, stretched out her hand and patted him on the shoulder, her tone slowed down, "It's okay, it's all over, brother Ta, you're great."

Li Yanqi's nasal cavity was slightly sore, and he felt tears streaming down again. It was different from the venting crying just now. Now he wanted to cry, for some reason he didn't know, he just wanted to cry.

After He Xin finished speaking, he turned and left. Li Yanqi gently closed his eyes, as if he was trying to suppress some emotions, and then took two steps forward and grabbed He Xin's wrist.

He Xin tilted his head and glanced at his cuff, there was a dirty mud print, Li Yanqi also saw it, he let go of his hand, just about to say sorry, He Xin tilted his head and looked over, "I'm sorry again. I'm not a clean freak like you, I'm not afraid of getting dirty."

Li Yanqi still didn't speak.

He Xin clicked her tongue, "Does it mean to let me stay or go?"

Li Yanqi was silent for a while, then said softly, "Stay, I need it."

He Xin asked, "What do you need?"

Li Yanqi looked up at him, "I need someone to tell me it's okay, tell me you're great, tell me it's all worth it."

His voice has a nasal sound after crying. He Xin thinks that he has a heart of stone. He can stand indifferent to a row of girls crying in front of him. Li Yanqi's tears were so lethal, not only did he not leave, he even took a step forward.

"I'm really not afraid of getting dirty, do you believe it?"

Li Yanqi's eyelashes were still wet, and he raised his head to look at him.

He Xin put her hand on his shoulder, moved her fingertips to her back and gently pushed him forward, then embraced him with the other hand, leaned over and hugged him, and physically showed him what it was not to be afraid of getting dirty.

After Li Yanqi was stunned for a moment, instead of pushing him away, he put his arms around He Xin's waist, put his head on his shoulder, and exhaled lightly.

This hug has no special meaning, no consolation, no sympathy, no celebration of victory, just a hug.

He Xin could feel Li Yanqi's body trembling a little, he patted his back lightly twice, got his hands wet with mud, and then wanted to reach out to stroke the other's hair, but couldn't do it anymore, so he had to pinch squeezed his shoulder.

Immediately afterwards, tears seemed to roll into his back collar, a very hot drop.

No one spoke or moved. The wind was very strong at night. The two hugged each other but felt that each other's body temperature was constantly rising, and they couldn't feel the coldness anymore.

When He Xin thought that Li Yanqi had fallen asleep on his shoulder, the other party let go of him.

He Xin's clothes took half of his mud, and the two of them were dirty like copy and paste. Li Yanqi looked at him apologetically, and He Xin tugged at his collar indifferently and asked, "Where is there a clothes store here?"

Li Yanqi said, "There is a small market in front, but it only has the same traffic light style as last time."

He Xin smiled, looked down at his feet, snapped his fingers and said, "Let's go, the traffic light combination will never come out again."

With tears still on Li Yanqi's face, he also smiled.

"Before that, go to the hospital first." He Xin frowned, "Your foot is swollen."

Li Yanqi only felt the pain right now, and before he could answer, He Xin made the decision for him without question, "Go to the hospital first, I'll call a taxi."

There happened to be a Didi car nearby, and it drove over within 3 minutes. He Xin was afraid that Li Yanqi would not be able to walk, so he got out of the car and hugged him all the way to help him in.

The result of the examination was fine, no bones were injured, just a slight sprain, just apply some plaster, but during this period of time, no particularly strenuous exercise was allowed, after all, it would take a hundred days to hurt the muscles and bones.

In the bright light, He Xin saw that Li Yanqi's eyes were particularly red, and the tip of his nose was also red, because he was white, and he looked like he had cried, which was very obvious.

"Shall I buy you a mask?"

Li Yanqi asked, "Didn't you always carry it with you?"

He Xin touched her pocket and said, "I followed you all the way, where do I have time to prepare a mask?"

Li Yanqi was silent for a while, then turned his head to look at him, "Thank you."

"Do I have to say you're welcome to feel at ease." He Xin looked at him again after finishing speaking, "I wanted to take you to a place to relieve pain, but your feet..."

Li Yanqi immediately replied, "Go, I don't want to go home today."

He Xin smiled, "What about the little milk foam?"

Li Yanqi said, "I told him before I came to Xitan that I didn't plan to go back, at least not tonight."

He Xin didn't get to the bottom of it. After leaving the hospital, she went to a nearby market to buy two unassuming black and white sweaters. After the two changed into them, they took a bus to He Xin's so-called "secret base".

It was an undeveloped village along the lake. When Li Yanqi first came here, he felt a little familiar. It wasn't until the other party took him to the lighthouse by the lake that he suddenly understood where he was.

"Is it pretty?" He Xin picked up the stone and made a fool of himself, then pointed him around.

"It's pretty." Li Yanqi thought for a while and said, "However, take a look at my WeChat profile picture."

He Xin didn't understand, so he took out the big picture and looked at it. Li Yanqi's eyes signaled him to look up. After a while, He Xin's eyes widened and he cursed softly.

"This is my secret base." Li Yanqi pointed to the lighthouse in the distance, and then pointed to himself, "Brother Ta, me."

He Xin felt a little frustrated, his showing off now looked like he had found a delicious restaurant and boasted to someone, only to find out that the person was the owner of the restaurant.

Li Yanqi glanced nostalgicly and sighed.

"I came here with Li An a few years ago. At that time, he wanted to eat fish. I knew there was a free fish pond here, so I brought him here. I caught a basket and went back. Li An saw a lot of oranges in the village. He really wanted to eat the orange tree, so I slipped into the orange grove and picked a few for him, but the owner found it and chased me. I ran here, found the lighthouse, and took pictures. Later, whenever I always come here when I’m stressed, standing on the lighthouse to watch the sunrise seems to be able to relax a lot.”

He Xin opened her mouth, feeling unbelievable for a moment, "You have stolen oranges before."

Li Yanqi shook his head and said, "I stole it just once. From now on, whenever I am so poor that I really want to do stealthy things, I think of the power of that aunt, and I decide to change my mind and start a new life."

He Xin laughed twice.

"I lost one of my shoes."

He Xin laughed so shamelessly that he couldn't stop laughing.

Li Yanqi also laughed, and they stood by the lake laughing for a long time before rubbing their hands and climbing up to the lighthouse.The temperature will drop again in the past two days, and the lighthouse is ventilated from all sides, so it is quite cold.

He Xin leaned against the railing and looked down.

"It should be far away from the village."

Li Yanqi nodded, "Probably still have to walk for a while."

He Xin glanced at him, and suddenly shouted into the distance, "Brother Ta...Brother Brother..." followed by a series of echoes.

Not to be outdone, Li Yanqi jumped onto the railing and shouted, "Lemon essence... fine, fine, fine..."

After looking at each other and smiling briefly, and leaning on it without speaking, He Xin could feel Li Yanqi's expression getting darker, his eyes closed, his eyelashes trembling slightly.

"I read my father's letter."

He Xin didn't expect him to bring up this topic suddenly, and she didn't know how to answer it for a while.

There was a little sadness in Li Yanqi's voice, "He died."

He Xin suddenly turned her head to look at him, her eyes widened.

Li Yanqi was very calm after crying, and there was no sign of crying again.

He said, "These letters should have been entrusted to me by someone. He got sick after escaping outside. Lung cancer or something. He didn't choose to treat it. He just spent every day and died."

He Xin still couldn't believe it. He rubbed his fingers and coughed, "And then."

"Do you know what he did?"

He Xin shook her head.

Li Yanqi's voice was very hoarse, "At that time, Fei Jin's father was working as a driver at Jiang Zhiming's house. Jiang Zhiming's brother thought that Fei Jin was small and didn't like to talk, so he often bullied him. "

"Then one day, Jiang Zhiming's brother lost something. He thought it was hard work, but he found the fault and found their house. He didn't try to steal something. Of course he refused to admit it. Jiang Zhiming's brother beat and kicked him, and his father saw it. The two got into a fight. He and I were neighbors at the time, and my dad went to borrow money for drinks that day, and he witnessed the whole process. He rushed over to help his father, who wanted to teach his brother a little lesson, but his father got angry and pushed him away. The strength of the refusal was stronger, my father didn't hold back, and when brother Jiang Zhiming rushed to beat him, he unfortunately fell down the stairs and died."

"Then they became murderers, because it was Fei Li's father who made the move first, but because he killed the man by accident and the other party had obvious faults first, the crime was mitigated a little and the death penalty was not directly sentenced. My father was an accomplice, He is also going to go to jail, but he is scared. He has done such a loyal but ignorant thing in his life, and then ran away. He has been living in hiding outside for so many years. Knowing that his life is not long, he will not write to me."

He Xin listened blankly, not knowing what to say, he didn't expect the cause of this matter to be so complicated.

Li Yanqi smiled, "There is no doubt that I hate him, he abandoned me and my brother, he can't bear the word father, I saw his letter, the letter said, until now, He was coughing like a dog, lying alone in the dark and damp basement, he could hardly move his body, every movement hurt, he looked at the dilapidated room, thought of me, and thought that he didn't eat my food in his last life A bowl of noodles, sorry."

Li Yanqi's voice trembled, "His regrets are worthless at all, he still thinks about himself until he dies."

He Xin patted him on the shoulder.

Li Yanqi turned around and said, "I'm fine, I just can't figure out why I hate him so much, I curse him to die outside every day, never come back here, don't hold me back, don't let me pay him off "Wiping his ass" for him made me feel devastated and embarrassed. Every day I seemed to be walking on the edge of a cliff, and I didn't know when I would fall... When I saw the letter, my mind jumped The first reaction that came out was that I am free, I am fucking free." He took a deep breath, clutched the hem of his clothes tightly and said, "But I didn't know that freedom hurts so much."

He Xin echoed softly, lowered her eyelids, and smiled silently.

"He obviously didn't care about me, he didn't love me, and he made me suffer so much torture and countless blank stares for no reason. Why would I feel sad for his death?"

He Xin had never admitted how painful the price of freedom was, but at this moment when the reason was revealed, it felt like someone had stabbed a thorn in her heart, and she couldn't get it out no matter how hard she tried.

Not because of the pain of freedom, but because from now on, you will have no family, no father.

"In the last letter, he said that he wanted me to live a good life and live a more beautiful life. Don't live like him with that attitude for the rest of my life."

He Xin restrained his emotions and looked at him, "So you decided to compete with Jiang Zhiming?"

Li Yanqi hummed lightly, "I want to say goodbye to the past completely."

He Xin looked at him, "How does it feel to say goodbye?"

Li Yanqi said, "It is more difficult than imagined, more painful than imagined, but more worthwhile than imagined."

He Xin didn't speak, he seemed to be able to see his past through Li Yanqi's understatement.

His childhood was gray, his small home was full of sour and smoky smells, he could never eat hot rice, buy beautiful new clothes, and had no big comfortable bed. He lived in the mud and was Cruelly pushing the seedlings to grow with both hands, he used his thin shoulders to lift the crumbling wall, and gave everything just to have a home that could shelter him and his brother from wind and rain.

He just grew up like this, and when he grows up, he is even less qualified to shout tiredness, and he will never show tiredness on his face, because no one can understand, and he can't resist, so he can only accept his fate and accept the reality, what hate or love, Step by step, the edges and corners have been smoothed by time, only being alive is the most important thing.

And the instigator of all this was his father. Now that his father is dead, he is free and can finally end all this.

He Xin thinks that the most amazing thing about death is that all complex emotions towards a person, no matter whether it is hatred or love, will disappear with the wind because of his departure, turning into a passing cloud and nothing to worry about.

He walked forward, and those things that held him back no longer existed.

Li Yanqi looked at him and said, "Actually, I didn't cry because I was in so much pain, but because I wanted to cry."

He Xin smiled, "You cry so spectacularly, I'm scared."

"Is that why you give me a hug?" Li Yanqi said.

He Xin clicked her tongue, "I didn't hug you because you were crying, but because..."

I don't know why I want to hug you.

He Xin didn't say the second half of the sentence, he opened his arms and said to Li Yanqi, "Do you want to come again?"

Li Yanqi walked over and gave him a gentle hug.

He Xin put her hands on his shoulders, finished what she hadn't done before, and stroked his hair.

"This hug, to celebrate your rebirth."

Li Yanqi whispered in his ear, "My hug is to thank you for rebirth with me."

He Xin smiled and let go of her hand.

Li Yanqi also looked at him and smiled.

After 1 minute, they were blown into idiots by the wind, and they squatted down trembling with each other.

He Xin asked, "Are we just going to stay here for one night? Watch the sunrise?"

Li Yanqi said, "No, it's dawn."