Solitary

Li Dongyao and Zhang Yang arrived first and chose seats in the back.As soon as He Jiqing arrived, Zhang Yang's eyes lit up: "Sure enough, it's better to see once than to hear a hundred times. A real person is much prettier than a photo!"

Jiang Chang pushed him: "Take it easy, you are married now."

Zhang Yang glanced back at Li Dongyao, who looked at him with a smile.

"You can get divorced even if you're married, right?"

Li Dongyao pulled him into his arms and hugged him: "You're talking nonsense again!"

Zhang Yang pushed him away and had to sit next to He Jiqing.Jiang Chang stuffed his butt between the two, separating them.He Jiqing sat on the other side, and Li Dongyao on the opposite side smiled at him and asked, "What do you want to drink? Yang Yang and I ordered beer."

"I have beer, too," he said.

Zhang Yang deliberately yelled after hearing this: "Hey, a handsome writer drinks the same as me!"

Knocked on the head by Li Dongyao: "Take it easy, it will be bad if someone recognizes you later."

Zhang Yang looked around for a week: "They are all foreigners!"

"My ancestors, foreigners also watched Chinese TV dramas and Chinese movies! Besides, look over there, there are several tables for Chinese people!" Li Dongyao pointed to the seat by the window, and there were indeed three tables of young Chinese people sitting there. .

Zhang Yang lazily leaned against his side: "I'm so tired, I can't let it go."

As a well-known actor, it is rare for him to come out once.

Li Dongyao leaned into his ear: "Go back to indulge in the evening?"

His voice was not low, both Jiang Chang and He Jiqing heard it.Jiang Chang shouted: "You two are enough!"

He Jiqing turned his head and looked to the other side.

Zhang Yang talked a lot tonight, and he kept complaining about the lead actor Xiao Xianrou in the TV series that just finished filming.Li Dongyao patiently echoed, seeing how angry he was, he said, "You hate him so much, let me help you block him!"

Zhang Yang looked at him contemptuously: "You must be sick!"

Li Dongyao also laughed happily when he was scolded.

He Jiqing looked at the two of them, hooked the corners of his lips, and picked up his wine glass to drink.

Jiang Chang was always paying attention to him. He was drinking quietly, as if he was listening to everyone talking, but he didn't seem to be listening.His eyes wandered between Li Dongyao and Zhang Yang from time to time.

"Li Dongyao, if you talk about banning someone like this in the future, we will say goodbye!" Zhang Yang said righteously.

Li Dongyao raised his hands in surrender: "Okay, okay, I will say this kind of thing in the future, it is a dog, okay?"

Zhang Yang rolled his eyes and continued to complain about Xiao Xianrou.

Li Dongyao still interjected occasionally, and sometimes his words were not in line with Zhang Yang's anger, and he was ruthless on the spot.He doesn't accommodate Li Dongyao, never.

Li Dongyao was not angry either, most of the time he laughed it off.Sometimes I feel that I am reasonable, and I will patiently refute.If Zhang Yang says he can't win, he either pinches him or makes him roll his eyes.

The two are both lovers and friends.After drinking, Jiang Chang saw envy in He Jiqing's slightly tipsy eyes.

He Jiqing got up to go to the bathroom, and Jiang Chang followed.In the restroom, the two stood side by side at the urinal.Jiang Chang said: "Zhang Yang, since I knew him, he has been open and unstoppable, and he has lived a very capricious life."

He Jiqing didn't answer him.

When Jiang Chang washed his hands, he said, "Zhang Yang is different from Lin Shu, and you are also different from Li Dongyao."

He Jiqing turned off the faucet, turned and left without waiting for him.

When Jiang Chang returned to the wine table, he found that He Jiqing was not there.He asked the two people who were tired of checking Weibo together: "Is there another person?"

Zhang Yang looked up: "Didn't you go to the toilet together?"

Jiang Chang's phone vibrated at this moment, and a WeChat message came in.He clicked on it, it was He Jiqing.

"I'll go first, you guys have fun."

Jiang Chang scolded in a low voice: "Fuck."

When He Jiqing doesn't want to give people a chance, no one can get close to him.

It was two months before Jiang Chang saw He Jiqing again.He also looked for him in the middle, but he used various reasons to avoid seeing him.

As a friend, Jiang Chang was very helpless.

We met again at the film planning meeting.He Jiqing cut off his long hair, kept his cropped cut, and still kept his beard.He took off his glasses, dressed in black, sat in a corner, and had sharp eyes when he spoke.

After the meeting, Jiang Chang made a dinner appointment with him, and he casually called other people, and a group of people went to Shanghai to serve local dishes.During the dinner, Jiang Chang had no chance to speak alone with He Jiqing.

After the meal, the group dispersed, and Jiang Chang had a chance to stand alone with He Jiqing.

"How about Gu Lao's script?" Jiang Chang asked him.

"The first draft is finished, and I have to go to Beijing the day after tomorrow to meet them." He Jiqing took out a cigarette.

He is now very addicted to smoking. Just after eating, he went out four or five times to smoke.

"I'm very busy at work, and you have never been free to look for you." Jiang Chang said.

"Mm, yes." He Jiqing smoked a cigarette and didn't say much.

"That's good." Jiang Chang looked across the road, where his car was parked.

"I'll walk you home."

He Jiqing waved his hand: "No need, I called a special car."

Jiang Chang decided to give up.

The two stood at the door of the hotel, watching the traffic on the road.He Jiqing's special car came, and before he got in the car, Jiang Chang said, "Be better."

He Jiqing smiled at him: "Thank you."

Jiang Chang watched his car go away, and walked alone to the parking lot across the road.

Before you know it, it's already September, and the nights in Shanghai are starting to feel cool.Jiang Chang walked to the parking lot and looked up at the sky. There were actually stars, a few faint ones hanging in the sky.Thinking of He Jiqing, he couldn't help heaving a long sigh.If a person does not want others to save him, then no one can save him.As a friend, he did his best.

He Jiqing was sitting in the special car with the windows open.The cool night breeze poured in fiercely from the window, slowly blowing away the restlessness accumulated all summer.The city beside the road is bright with light and shadow.He also saw those few faint stars in the night sky.

On the traffic radio station, someone ordered a song.The host said it was an old song."Forget Worry Grass" by Zhou Huajian.

"Let us who are weak know how to be cruel

狠狠 面对 人生 次 寒冷

依依不舍 的 爱 的 人

往往 有缘 没有 份

谁 把 谁 真的 当真

谁 为 谁 心疼

谁 是 唯一 的 人

伤痕累累 的 天真的 灵魂

早 已 不 承认 还 什么 神

beautiful life kind people

心痛心 酸心事 太微不足道

来 来往往 的 我 遇到

Getting to know each other is worse than looking at each other with a faint smile"

Zhou Huajian's voice was light but moving.At a red light, the driver found the handsome man sitting in the backseat bursting into tears at some point.He looked sideways out of the window, the light of the city reflected on his face, and he wiped the corners of his eyes with his hands from time to time.

The car passed Wukang Road, and the cafes along the way were dimly lit and full of people.Groups of pedestrians walking along the roadside.The shadow of the sycamore tree was printed on the road and on He Jiqing's face.

"Forget Worry Grass" has long been sung, and another Korean song that I don't understand is playing on the radio.He Jiqing's mind is still echoing those lines of lyrics: "Those who have loved reluctantly are often destined to have nothing to do with them. Whoever takes someone seriously, who cares for whom, who is the only person for whom".

Yes, he was seen through by Jiang Chang.He couldn't let go of Lin Shu, and Lin Shu's departure had a great impact on him.He can only work relentlessly and desperately, so that he can avoid not thinking about him, why he left without saying a word, and avoid hating him, why he left without saying a word.

He misses Lin Shu and hates Lin Shu.Just like back then, he cared about Gu Chunshui and also hated Gu Chunshui.The same thing always happens to him.He couldn't figure out why this happened.

Car to the apartment downstairs.When getting off the car, the driver specially reminded him not to leave anything behind. After He Jiqing got off the car, he found that the other party still left his phone.He called He Jiqing: "Your mobile phone!"

He Jiqing didn't seem to hear, and didn't turn his head.

The driver had to raise the volume: "Your phone, your phone was left in the car!"

Only then did He Jiqing turn around and walk back.The driver saw his pale face.He got into the back seat and retrieved his phone.He thanked the driver.

The driver looked at his miserable face and asked, "What's wrong with you?"

He Jiqing shook his head, thanked him again, and turned to leave.The footsteps are vain.

The driver thought, probably someone with a story.

He Jiqing forgot how he got into the house, he only knew that the first thing he did after entering the house was to rush to the bathroom, lay down on the toilet, and vomited everything he ate at night.He pressed the pump and watched the dirt being swept away by the water.He sat on the toilet and looked at himself in the mirror opposite, his face was bloodless, and his eyes were extremely empty.

Only when there was no one around, he dared to let out this kind of himself. The weak, sad, and lost He Jiqing looked very pitiful.He covered his face with his hands, tears streaming down his face again.

That night, He Jiqing dreamed of Lin Shu.

He dreamed that Lin Shu came back, he hugged him tightly, and said to him: "I just went home, I came out with them. I'm back again, He Jiqing!"

He was very happy, he hugged Lin Shu, they kissed and made love.It's as if the separation never happened.

The boy lay in his arms, biting his ear and repeating over and over again: "He Jiqing, I love you, I love you, I love you..."

Suddenly, the screen changed.Lin Shu stood opposite him, expressionless, with a cold tone: "It's all fake, I love you is fake. I don't love you at all, He Jiqing! People like you don't deserve my love!"

He rushed up and grabbed his neck.He squinted at him and sneered, "I've never loved you, He Jiqing!"

He gritted his teeth in hatred.He pinched him against the wall by the neck.He squeezed his hands hard, and Lin Shu opened his mouth wide to breathe uncomfortably, his pupils gradually enlarged, and the veins on his forehead popped out.He pushes harder.Lin Shu's face turned blue, and he finally lost his breath.He let go of his hand and looked at Lin Shu's body, which slumped against the wall and lay on the ground.

He killed Lin Shu.He wailed.

He Jiqing woke up crying from his dream, tears wet the pillow.The phone on the bedside table kept vibrating.There was a ray of light through the curtains, and the light spread across the bed, cutting him in half.He wiped his face and took his phone.

It was He Annian calling.He swiped down to answer.

"Brother, are you going home for the Mid-Autumn Festival?" He Anian asked cautiously.

He said nothing.He Annian said again: "The Mid-Autumn Festival is one week away, do you want to come back?"

After arriving in Shanghai in March, he never returned to Nanjing.

"I won't go back, I'm going to Beijing to discuss things." He said.

He Annian sighed softly: "You haven't been back for a long time."

"Is there anything else you want?" he asked.

"Mom said, if you want to come back, take Lin Shu with you. As long as you like it, she has no problem." He Annian said.

He sneered.He Annian immediately explained: "Mom really said that, you, don't hate her. Last time, she just asked."

"We broke up," he said.

"Ah—" He Annian's sudden high-pitched voice was enough to prove his shock.

"Why, how come?" He couldn't believe it.

"Well, we broke up." He repeated.

"Yes, is it because of my mother?" He Annian asked in a low voice.

"I have something else to say, let's not talk about it." He hung up the phone.

He Annian on the other end of the phone held the phone stiffly.Sun Xiang, who had been waiting beside him for a long time, asked him, "What did your brother say?"

"He, he won't come back." He Annian slowly put down the phone.

Sun Xiang smiled wryly: "I knew it would be like this, he hasn't come back for a long time!"

He Annian sighed silently.

Sun Xiang asked: "What happened to him and Xiao Lin, did you say anything?"

He Annian looked at her, not knowing how to answer.

"He didn't say it, I knew it, he won't tell us these things again." Sun Xiang shook his head.

"They broke up." He Annian hesitated for a while, and finally said it.

Sun Xiang glared at him.He Annian lowered his head and looked at the seams on the wooden floor. After a long time, the seams became bigger, and some white dust fell inside, which was very eye-catching.

"You asked him just now, was it because of me? How about him?" Sun Xiang asked very slowly.

He Annian touched his mother's hair, there were many gray hairs in it.

"It's none of your business, Mom. He's an adult and knows how to handle his feelings."

He Annian firmly believed that it was definitely not because of Sun Xiang that his brother broke up with his boy.Family is not enough to shake him. As a younger brother, he has recognized this fact since he was very young.