my joann

Chapter 43

Qiao An's cooking skills were greatly praised, and Lu Yihang contributed a lot - because Mr. Lu didn't show up during the cooking process.

The next day, Qiao An and Lu Yihang reported to Ren Youning's house on time.Before leaving, Lu Yihang grabbed Qiao An and gave him a lingering farewell kiss before allowing his little cutie to get off the car.

After watching Qiao An enter the community, Lu Yihang turned the car around and went to work.

The National Day is over, and the first day of work is always in various states, but Ren Youning can't, because he didn't give himself a holiday at all.

"How's your homework practice going?" Ren Youning obviously felt that Qiao An's mental state was much better than before when he came here for three days.

"I clean the windows every night before going to bed, and then practice relaxation methods." Joan replied honestly. Joan only learned these two methods for only three days, but he has benefited a lot.

He cleans the windows quietly in his imagination every night. During that time, he completely belongs to himself, and he is extraordinarily peaceful, and seeing the dust on the windows gradually being wiped clean, it may be a psychological effect, in short, he feels much more comfortable.

As for the relaxation exercises, he has become more and more proficient after time. As long as he can keep his mind calm, he can quickly relax the muscles of the whole body.

It took only three days for Joan to do all this, which shows that he really worked hard and practiced many times during these three days.

"Very good, then let's do another relaxation exercise now." Ren Youning came over and helped Qiao An adjust the recliner down so that he could lie flat.

Ren Youning sat in front of Qiao An's head, and gave him soft instructions. Gradually, Qiao An relaxed and her breathing eased.

"Very good Qiao An, now you can slowly open your eyes and see what is around you." Qiao An quickly entered the state, and Ren Youning was very satisfied.

After he finished speaking, Joan opened his eyes. He moved his eyeballs to look around, and clearly stated everything he saw.

"Very good, Joan is great." Ren Youning said, and then he straightened the back of Joan's seat and sat back in his original position, "Then let's chat today."

Although Qiao An was wondering why Ren Youning didn't continue to do image guidance, he still respected Ren Youning's choice, "Okay."

"Since when did you start to have a fear of social interaction?" Ren Youning said, "Or let me put it another way, since when did you start to feel physical discomfort when in contact with people?"

Qiao An was stunned for a moment, and he was a little confused when he was asked out of the blue.

"What counts as physical discomfort..." Joan was completely vague about this concept.

"For example, dizziness and vomiting, trembling limbs, palpitations and sweating, etc. Anyway, it's simply that you feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable."

Joan moved his gaze to his left hand, looking as if he was in deep thought.

After a long time, he said softly, "When I was in junior high school."

Ren Youning was a little surprised, but he remained calm and did not express anything.

From junior high school to graduating from university and getting married, how did he spend all these years?

"Do you remember how many years?" Ren Youning asked.

Joan's mouth moved slightly, silently counting the years, and finally replied, "Ten years."

Ren Youning's right hand trembled, he flicked the pen, and then vigorously took notes in the notebook.

"Then do you know the reason?" Ren Youning asked, "What caused you to start to be afraid of interacting with people."

Qiao An frowned, he didn't look at Ren Youning, but his lowered head showed that he was extremely resistant to answering this question.

Ren Youning didn't force him, but he didn't ask other questions either.He was waiting and betting that Qiao An didn't come to the treatment voluntarily from the very beginning, so Ren Youning knew from the very beginning that it would be extremely difficult as long as it involved talking about his own story.

This is also the reason why he did not choose the "old routine" at the beginning. According to his habit, he will definitely know the background story when he receives the patients at the beginning, and because those patients are voluntary consultations, they will generally answer the questions.

With the cooperation of both parties, it will be relatively smooth at first.

And Qiao An didn't do it voluntarily, he seemed to cooperate from the beginning to the end, but in fact it was Ren Youning who was pushing him away, in an inconspicuous way, pushing him to the comfort zone he set up for himself.

The most important thing in psychotherapy is not the psychiatrist, but himself.

So Joan must speak out, must come out.

Silence is sometimes very depressing. Most patients with mental illness can endure silence, so psychologists have to be able to endure it.

"When I was in junior high school, I wasn't very outgoing." After a long time, Joan said quietly.

Ren Youning's pen hand, which had been clenched tightly, finally relaxed.Qiao An was suffering in his heart, and Ren Youning was also there, and he would also worry about what Qiao An would do if he really didn't want to speak up. Fortunately, he won the bet.

"I don't like talking to people."

Ren Youning didn't interrupt Qiao An, he knew that Qiao An hadn't finished speaking.

Sure enough, after a short silence, Joan continued his narration, "Actually, I tried to talk to them at first, but..." Joan shook his head.

"My hearing is very good, so I can hear what they think they are whispering...I can hear what they think of me..."

"When I was in the third year of junior high school, I found that I was very afraid of people talking to me, especially saying 'no'." Joan lowered her head and pinched her fingers, "One time, I forgot who it was, but I remembered him He said a lot of 'no' words to me, my heart beat faster and faster, and my face became more and more red. I thought I was angry, I thought I wanted to hit him, but I found myself unable to move, just Can tremble unconsciously."

"I read in the book that when people are emotional, they can't hear what people around them are saying clearly, but I can, and I can hear it more clearly than usual."

"I don't really remember what happened later. This was the first time I felt uncomfortable." Joan stopped talking after finishing speaking.

Ren Youning took the time to make a few notes, and then asked, "Do you think they don't like you? They like to gossip about you behind your back."

"It's not that I don't like me." Joan shook her head. "Every class has a weirdo and a freak. Unfortunately, I am that person."

"There is no other reason, it's not that they don't like me, it's just that I have to be hated."

Ren Youning glanced at the notebook, silently thinking about it.

The psychologist Epik once said that at the same time, this is also the core of psychological cognitive theory-people are troubled not because of the things themselves, but because of their perceptions of things.

Patients with social phobia, or patients with more related mental illnesses, will add a lot of subjective assumptions in their perception of things because of their previous experiences, which will add a lot of pressure to them and force them to feel anxious.

Tell them subconsciously that this is not safe, and they will choose to protect themselves out of instinct, but it is also because of the different life experiences of each person that will cause them to have different reactions.

Psychological counseling will help them find a new cognitive direction from an inherent state.

This is what Ren Youning has always planned to do.

What Joan said just now, after careful scrutiny, it can be heard that he was in school and suffered cold violence on campus, and there may be other violence, but Joan didn't say anything.

It sounds like there is nothing wrong with it. Many people were subjected to school violence in adolescence, which led to social phobia in the future.

But Ren Youning felt that something was wrong. Although he hadn't grasped the key point, he just instinctively felt something was wrong. Something must be wrong.

what is it then?What is Joan hiding?

"You said you were a different kind, so what makes you different from others?" Ren Youning asked.

Qiao An raised his head and took a quick look at Ren Youning, then lowered his head again.

This time he didn't remain silent for a long time, but quickly answered, "A freak is a freak, what reason can there be?"

Ren Youning shook his head, "No, a heterogeneous must be different from others in some way to be called a heterogeneous. So what is the difference between you and them?"

Joan frowned and clasped his fingers hard.

"Qiao An." Ren Youning said seriously, "Don't play with your fingers."

"Sorry." Joan retracted his hand and kept his posture motionless.

After a while, Joan shook his head, "I don't know."

Ren Youning said, "You said you could hear what they were saying clearly, so do you still remember what they said?"

"They said, I'm a freak, you'll get a virus if you hang out with me, that I'm different from them, that I'm not normal..."

"Didn't they say why?" Ren Youning asked.

Joan thought for a while, shook his head and said, "I don't remember, I don't know."

Ren Youning wanted to ask something else, but Qiao An suddenly raised his head and looked at him, "Ghost, I really don't remember, and I don't remember if I ask again. Let's do something else, image guidance or something."

After Qiao An finished speaking, she didn't lower her head, but looked straight into Ren Youning's eyes without moving, as if she wouldn't give up until she reached her goal.

Ren Youning thought about it, and finally decided not to continue asking today.

"Okay, but Joanne, all illnesses have a root cause, and you need to find it and overcome it before you have a chance of recovery. I know you don't remember, and that's okay, but I hope you'll think about it when you get home. Think, think about why they targeted you in the first place, think about why you were afraid of the word 'no', think about what other experiences you've had that caused you to be afraid of interacting with people."

Joan nodded and agreed.

"Then let's do another thing, let's rank some scenes."

"What do you mean?"

Ren Youning took out a blank piece of paper and put it on the table, "Tell me a thing or place that you are afraid of, and give him a score. For example, if you go to a crowded hospital hall, you are most afraid of 100 points, not afraid of 0 points .Write a total of ten pieces, from 0 to 100 points, divided into ten levels."

This was not difficult for Qiao An. After he understood what Ren Youning meant, he picked up a pen and buried himself in writing.

Ren Youning, on the other hand, went out to refill their tea with hot water according to the time.

He was still thinking as he walked, Joan's past seemed to be fine, but there must be something wrong, what exactly is it?

After he went back, Qiao An had already written the list, but Ren Youning took the list without reading it, sat down and asked Qiao An a question, "Last time I suggested you go out for a walk, did you go out?"

Joan nodded, "Yes, I went to many places, to the mall, to the countryside, to the airport."

"Shopping mall and airport?" Ren Youning asked.

"Yes." Joan nodded with a smile.

"Aren't you afraid? There are a lot of people in those places."

"I'm afraid, but the method you taught me will be much better." Joan replied, "It works, thank you."

"This is what I should do." Ren Youning nodded, "Qiao An, today's time is almost up, this list is waiting for you to come next time, we will come and continue, see you in three days, okay?"

Joan stood up and nodded in agreement.

After watching Qiao An leave, Ren Youning turned back to the room where they stayed just now, sat at the table without saying a word, with a serious expression.

In the list written by Joan, the score is 70 points for going to the mall, and 80 points for the airport.This shows that in Qiao An's mind, these two places are extremely dangerous places, let alone going in, you may be afraid to stand at the door for a while.

It had only been three days since he taught Joan the way to relax, but Joan was able to go in, and said so easily that there was no problem just now.

If there is really no problem, then Joan is basically not far from being cured, because he can even go in without pressure, but how is this possible?

Ren Youning couldn't understand, how could it be so fast, how could it be possible to achieve such a level when Qiao An's own cognition still had problems.

There must be problems, there must be.

The author has something to say:

Lu Yihang: After work, I can't have fun with my wife. I'm tired and not in love.

Joan: Not even after get off work.

Lu Yihang: Why?

Joan: Because I like to eat bitter melon!

Notes of Lu's Beloved Wife 43

It is a pity that your past cannot be experienced with you.

The end of the year is approaching, sorry for the slow update speed, QWQ

For those who don’t like to wait, I’ll put up an advertisement, everyone can read my finished article "Secret Love", and choose carefully the other "Beginning at First Sight", hehe.