Handbook of Nonhuman Research

Tianjun is leisurely putting his left hand on the back of the sofa, posing at the most handsome angle of his profile, and shaking his fan in a romantic and suave manner.Hearing Zhao Wugou's words, his perfect expression instantly collapsed to pieces.

"The king likes him? Are you kidding me?"

"The king likes that piece of wood?"

"Isn't this king bullied enough by him since childhood?"

"This king will only like him if he is crazy!"

Tianjun, who turned into an automatic barrage machine, output crazily and continuously, making complaints like a guilty conscience being talked about.

"I was just a little skeptical at first," Zhao Wugou took the time to adjust the angle of the white steel cufflinks on his shirt, and only slowly curled the corners of his lips when Tianjun stopped, "Now I'm basically sure."

Tianjun looked at him vigilantly, "Affirm what?"

The intern showed a determined smile, "You like him."

"Impossible!" Tianjun categorically denied.

"Humans often play tricks on people they like when they are young, such as dirtying each other's favorite shoes and hiding each other's textbooks. Kittens and puppies will show their affection by snapping and biting. Do you know why? ?”

Tianjun frowned.

"Because I like it." Zhao Wugou spread his hands, "Whether it's a provocation or a harmless attack, it's just a subconscious possessive desire and an explicit expression of wanting to attract the other party's attention."

Tianjun: ……………

"But it's not right. If you want to talk about bullying, he was the one who bullied me when I was young. According to what you said, it's because he likes me." Tianjun retorted by knocking the fan on his left palm vigorously.

Zhao Wugou took a sip of the lemon black tea in front of him, raised his eyebrows slightly, showing an expression of 'willing to hear more about it'.

"He was born five hours earlier than me, one centimeter taller, and bullied me everywhere. When I just came out of the womb, I was beaten up by him as a monster. Later, I practiced hard for 2000 years , to seek revenge from him." Tianjun squeezed the fan hard with a bitter face, probably a little invested, and unconsciously used "I".

Try your luck?The Revenge of the Prince?Zhao Wugou asked curiously, "Did you win?"

"No, he beat me up again." Tianjun touched his nose.

Zhao Wugou: ……………

Tianjun continued to recall one by one, "When he was young, he chose the cave and the spirit beast, and when he grew up, he decided who would be in charge of the heaven and the underworld. He was the first to choose."

It's true that people can't be judged by appearances, thinking about Yan Jun's serious face now, Zhao Wugou raised his eyebrows in surprise, did he actually have this kind of 'little bully' image when he was a child?

Tianjun, who realized that he had leaked something, coughed dryly, and added superfluously, "Of course, I can't beat him, but just let him in. After all, we all came from the womb of heaven. According to your concept of the human world, we can also be regarded as brothers." .”

"Understood, brother love complex." Zhao Wugou nodded seriously.

Tianjun: ……………

"You seem to like me very much, but is it because I am 'Zhao Wugou' or because I am 'Yan Jun's partner'?" Zhao Wugou asked again.

"Of course this king likes 'Zhao Wugou'." Tianjun opened the fan 'shua' and replied quickly while shaking it.

"Really?" Zhao Wugou raised his eyebrows unmoved, "What do I like to eat?"

Tianjun's hand shaking the fan paused, and involuntarily glanced at the empty plate that the intern put on the table, and said uncertainly, "Uh, sweets?"

"What does Jun Yan like to eat?"

"He likes to eat sour food, but he has never been picky about what to eat." Tianjun replied without thinking.

Zhao Wugou nodded, and continued, "What color do I like?"

"Black?" Tianjun's hand holding the jade bone fan slightly tightened, and his tone was a little uncertain.

"What color does Tianjun like?"

"red."

The intern's eyes moved slightly, "What's my hobby?"

"Reading." Tianjun let out a long breath, showing the expression of "I will answer this question".

"What about Yan Jun's hobbies?"

"Grace music, calligraphy and painting, hunting, wandering, fighting against injustice, tidying up the cave." Tianjun is like a treasure.

"See?" Zhao Wugou spread his hands, with an inexplicable triumphant smile on the corner of his mouth, "You care more about him than me, and you even remember that you haven't seen him for 57 years. To a Paying too much attention to a person's private information means subconsciously liking him."

"Based on my judgment, you only care about me because of your possessive desire for him. Because I stole his attention, you feel uncomfortable being ignored, so, use the way of pursuing me to arouse his interest again." Pay attention." Zhao Wugou concluded.

"Really?" Tianjun showed an unacceptable expression.

"I'm a graduate student in Psychology at Peking University's Second Graduate School." Zhao Wugou lightly raised the corners of his lips, studying psychology, brother is a professional.

Tianjun covered his forehead with a fan, frowned slightly, and fell into a shallow silence.

The ringtone of the mobile phone called Tianjun back from the silence. He glanced at the mobile phone screen. Before standing up, he suddenly turned to Zhao Wugou, narrowed his phoenix eyes, and flashed a fierce expression, "I know that the two attendants beside Emperor Wenchang Is it?"

Deaf and dumb?Zhao Wugou understood Tianjun's meaning in a blink of an eye, "Those who can know can't speak, and those who can speak can't know. Is Tianjun threatening me to keep the conversation just now a secret?"

"It's not a threat, it's a transaction." Tianjun returned to his graceful posture, and lightly waved the folding fan in his hand, "If you promise me to keep it a secret, I will tell you a secret about Yan."

"Okay." The intern nodded cheerfully.

"Can you tell what kind of material this is?" Tianjun closed the folding fan in his hand, and pointed to the shiny fan bone.

"Suet fat jade?" Zhao Wugou guessed according to the luster of the fan bone.

"The fetal stone, the fetal stone of the celestial fetus. So, as you can see, this king never leaves this fan." Tianjun narrowed his eyes mysteriously, and spun the folding fan twice between his fingers, "Back then The king and Yan used fetal stones to refine a magic weapon respectively. This king made this folding fan, and Yan made a flute. We have agreed that when we have a partner, we will give this magic weapon to each other Make a token of love."

The corners of Zhao Wugou's gentle curved lips understood Tianjun's implication, "Are you trying to remind me that what Yan Jun really likes may not necessarily be me? Because the flute made of his fetal stone is no longer here. Didn't he give it to me?"

"This gentleman is just using a secret that only he and I know in this world to make a confidential transaction with you as a bargaining chip." Tianjun raised his eyebrows innocently, took a meaningful look at the ruby ​​collar pin on Zhao Wugou's chest, and stood up gracefully left.

"Master, do you need me to swear a poisonous oath to keep it secret?" After Tianjun left, Danke in the tie asked tremblingly.

"No." It's not true anyway.Seeing that no one was paying attention around him, Zhao Wugou rubbed his stiff shoulders and said indifferently, "I just hope he won't bother me in the future, so I guide him to think about brother love. By the way, I will find some ministers from him." It’s just my hobbies and childhood secrets.”

"So, you just asked him about the hobbies of himself and Lord Yan Jun, just to inquire about gossip?" Danke said with a shocked face.

"That's right." The intern said confidently.

For a long time, the unilateral 'amnesia' has caused an extremely strong asymmetry of information between the intern and Yan Jun.Now God has sent someone who is almost the most familiar with Yan Jun in the world, what if he doesn't make good use of it?

Like red?Love sour?Love tidying up your room?Zhao Wugou couldn't help smiling at the scene of Yan Jun's cleanliness attack with a Q version of the little bun in his head, and his stern face meticulously tidying up the cave, it seemed, a little cute!

"Master, according to what you said just now, if you pay too much attention to a person's personal information such as hobbies, it is actually a subconscious liking. Aren't you also paying too much attention to Lord Yan Jun just like Tianjun?" The tourist asked suspiciously. Looking at Zhao Wugou with an empathetic expression, "So, you also like Yan Jun?"

Zhao Wugou: ……………

"I was talking nonsense in a serious manner just now." Zhao Wugou flicked the non-existent dust on the neckline, and denied it as if nothing had happened.

Danke tilted his head, and it was said that the explanation of the center after the event was more similar.

The Tianjun on the other side walked to the end of the corridor, and two figures flashed from the sky, kneeling down in the air, "I greet you, Your Majesty."

"No, how about it, did you find that person?"

"Reporting to Your Majesty, we have thoroughly checked all the guests who attended the banquet, and found nothing."

"Keep looking, absolutely don't let go of any clues." Tianjun frowned slightly, and waved the two to back off.

Before the banquet ended, Zhao Wugou was called over by his senior sister and the professor to say goodbye to the host.It was past twelve o'clock when we got back to the apartment.

After drinking a few glasses of high-concentration cocktails at the banquet, Zhao Wugou felt a little drunk at the moment.

When he opened the door, he saw the dark air in the house, the green light was shining, and the ghost shadows were moving. It was like a haunted house scene.The intern half woke up from the alcohol in an instant.

In addition to Black and White Impermanence, Bull Head and Horse Face, and Zhao Wugou who are more familiar with the third and fourth shifts, there are also a bunch of completely unfamiliar faces.

For example, the mother-in-law sitting on the left hand of the sofa, wearing a blue skirt and red dress, with a kind face and deep smile lines, but looks a little gloomy under the green light.

For example, sitting beside her mother-in-law are three beauties in red shirts, green sleeves, almond eyes, peach cheeks, but pale as paper.

For example, the little glasses over there sitting in the shadow of ghosts, crying and writing.

For example, the big man in official clothes with a beard and a sound like Hong Zhong is holding a bowl and fighting for wine with others.

All Zhao Wugou could think of was that that mother-in-law might be Granny Meng, but for the rest, the interns had no clue about their identities.

Why are these people here?

"My lord, happy death day!" The sharp-eyed third watcher among the ghost crowd was the first to spot Zhao Wugou, and excitedly rushed up with a gift box in his arms.

Zhao Wugou: ……………

"Stupid, it's a happy birthday." Si Geng slapped San Geng on the head, "It's a birthday in the human world!"

"Happy birthday, my lord. I wish you an early journey westward with a crane and return to the underworld." In the middle of the night, he rubbed his head and changed his congratulatory message.

Zhao Wugou: ……………

"Stupid! On birthday, I want to wish people a long life." The third watch was slapped by the fourth watch again.

"Okay, okay, I appreciate it. Thank you." Third watch was about to open his mouth for the third time, Zhao Wugou hurriedly accepted his gift, signaling that it didn't need to say it a third time.There were only three incidents, and in such a short period of time, he died twice.

"Daddy." The little bun flew over, hugged Zhao Wugou's thigh, and raised his head as if asking for credit, "I heard that the human world will hold a birthday party and give presents, this is specially arranged for you, like it ?"

Dare to feel that the haunted house-like group of demons dancing in front of you is your birthday party?Zhao Wugou looked around, let out a long breath, rubbed the little bun's head, "...I like it."

"Your Majesty Judge is back!" Someone in the ghost crowd shouted.

"grown ups!"

"grown ups!"

All the ghosts immediately rushed towards Zhao Wugou, holding the presents and scrambling to be the first.

That ferocious scene is not much worse than all the ghosts threatening their lives. Dreaming back at midnight can definitely be ranked in the top three of Zhao Wugou's personal annual horror memory list.

In the end, Master Yan Jun heard the chaos, walked out of the study, and fished Zhao Wugou out of the encirclement of the ghosts.

"They haven't seen you for a long time, so they are a little excited." Yan Jun thoughtfully helped Zhao Wugou stretch his crumpled clothes, explaining for the ghosts.

"It seems that my ghost aura is quite strong in the underworld." Zhao Wugou pulled off half of the white paper scraps that were suspected to have fallen from the paper piercing man's body from his shoulders, and said with a wry smile.

It is rare that Yan Jun tacitly agreed to come to the human world, and the ghosts were so excited that they didn't end until four or five in the morning.

"Happy birthday." After all the ghosts dispersed, Yan Jun also silently took out a long gift box and handed it to Zhao Wugou.

"And mine." The little bun climbed onto Zhao Wugou's lap, and put his gift beside it as if offering a treasure.

Under the expectant gaze of the little guy, Zhao Wugou took a look at it, and the little bun gave him a pen mountain of unknown material, which looked neither gold nor jade.

Yan Jun sent twelve sets of suit accessories, all kinds of materials and colors, from collar pins, cuff buttons to tie clips, everything is available.Moreover, according to Zhao Wugou's memory, it seems that it is the same style as the ones Yan Jun used.

"Thank you." Zhao Wugou kissed the little bun's hair, and thanked the minister.

"I won." The little bun waved his chubby little fist, and happily floated away to wash.

"Don't like accessories?" Yan Jun's tone was indifferent, as if there was a trace of inexplicable grievance.

"No, I just like another thing more." Zhao Wugou's drunkenness rose again, and he raised his eyebrows and looked at Yan Jun.

Yan Jun frowned suspiciously, "What?"

"Flute." Zhao Wugou gestured childishly, then blurted out, "The kind made of fetal stones."