Fantasy Abyss Sticking to Ink Dye

Intellectually, I understand that I didn't give my doctor enough sense of security. He didn't believe that my feelings were love, and he was afraid that I was just dependent.But emotionally I can't accept his leaving.

I waited day and night, and I started having insomnia, afraid that I would miss my return to see my doctor because I fell asleep.I became thinner, like a skeleton, and then I thought I couldn't go on like this, otherwise I would be too ugly, and my doctor would hate me when he came back.So I started to eat desperately, ensure sleep, and accept treatment from other doctors obediently.I think I am so obedient, Mo Xiaoqi will definitely come back.

However, no.

My expectations are fading day by day, I still long for him to come back, but I have no hope anymore, I think I may not be able to wait for him, even though I love him so much.Until I was injured and hospitalized.

When I saw Mo Xiaoqi again, my heart was beating so violently, I almost thought it was about to burst a blood vessel, tell me your dream has come true, and seeing him is enough, go to hell.

But fortunately, I didn't lose my life like this. I finally held the person I love in my arms.Mo Xiaoqi coaxed me, saying that he would not leave and wanted me to rest well, but I just wanted to keep looking at him and engrave his appearance in my heart and mind.Because I always feel that he will leave.

I don't believe Mo Xiaoqi's words. After I lost hope, I became timid. I dare not think that I used to be so proud that this person likes me, this person will not leave me, he will always be with me .I dare not have such thoughts, I am afraid that punishment is loss.After all, my doctor rushed back because I was injured.I can feel his distress and remorse, and I can actually feel that he loves me.

But I'm too scared, I'm afraid all this is just compensation.

I began to work hard to make myself a look that Mo Xiaoqi might like. I learned to smile and be cheerful. I really wanted to be nice to him from the bottom of my heart, because I liked him so much.But I still want to make myself more gentle. I hide all my dirty, fierce and cruel sides, because I think of it, the time I killed someone.

Mo Xiaoqi didn't blame me, even comforted me, but he still vomited heart-piercingly when he saw the corpse, and then I knew, he didn't like it, he was just worried about me.So I started being nice to him.

We do get along very well, so good that I want to cry in my sleep, we are getting sweeter, and I am getting more and more afraid, afraid that all this is short-lived, I think this time, I have experienced so many good things If I am left behind, I will not be able to survive.

I started to panic, and wanted to get closer to Mo Xiaoqi more and more. I liked to kiss and hug him non-stop.I'm acting like a baby every day, trying to get us closer.

I know that Mo Xiaoqi is not a casual person, and he won't let anyone he doesn't like touch him, so after we did it for the first time, I was a little relieved, but I still didn't believe it enough.Because I never doubted whether Mo Xiaoqi liked me, I knew he did.But I never doubted that he would leave me, and I was also afraid that he would not love me that much.

I cared too much about him, and became not generous at all. I was jealous indiscriminately, because I couldn't accept that Mo Xiaoqi's attention was too much on others. From the very beginning, I thought about imprisoning him and letting him From now on, I can only look at me, but I have perfectly controlled myself.I know that I may be a bit too much, I know that there may be something wrong with me, but I just bury these sadness and panic myself, I like him so much, how can I not let him be unhappy.

How could I let his life become chaotic.

I cling to the boundaries, not letting myself go beyond, not let myself collapse, and I try my best to let us have a normal relationship.

Then I crashed.