gorgeous summer

In the next few days, Zhang Xuan didn't go home, and the phone was also prompted to shut down. Zhang Yu was worried, but he didn't dare to call home to ask, so he had the cheek to go to Chen Nan.Chen Nan looked a little surprised at the man who limped into the office. Zhang Yu felt uneasy when he saw him, so he had to speak first: "That...I fell down and twisted my waist a few days ago."

Chen Nan nodded knowingly, quickly asked him to sit down, and poured him a glass of water.

Zhang Xuan sat on pins and needles, and didn't know how to be polite to Chen Nan. Two days ago, he kicked him out of the house and said... Would it be strange to suddenly come to ask her brother's whereabouts?Maybe Zhang Xuan got angry and went home to stay for two days and then come back in a few days... If he found out and then got entangled with Xiao Xuan, wouldn't he be a sinner through the ages?

But what if Zhang Xuan has already moved to Chen Nan's house... No, he has a wife... But, if Chen Nan has an empty house outside...

Zhang Yuwu struggled on his own, Chen Nan couldn't stand it anymore and asked, "Brother, is something wrong?"

Ah, yes something happened, but how can I tell you?Zhang Yu scratched the wall in his heart.

"Is it... something about Xiaoxuan?" Chen Nan guessed again.

Yes, Zhang Yu nodded: "Do you know where he lives now?"

"Ah, he was dispatched to the United States, didn't he tell?"

U.S?so far!No, you said a few days ago that you haven't settled down yet? How can you just leave?Zhang Yu was stunned, could it be because of what happened that night that Xiao Xuan avoided him...

Zhang Yu lost his mind and said: "Obviously I didn't bring all my luggage."

"I'm also surprised. He said a few days ago that he was considering refusing it. Why is he going all of a sudden? The two of you...have you had a fight?" Chen Nan asked tentatively, vaguely guessing something.

"Ah, yes, the brat has learned to run away from home." Zhang Yu smiled perfunctorily, and continued to say with a thick face: "Well... well, do you know his American number? When I call his phone, it always prompts to shut down .”

Chen Nan turned to look for the business card, Zhang Yu began to think about how to say goodbye, but Chen Nan found the number of the business card but did not hand it to him, but said to him seriously: "Brother, I have something to talk to you about."

"Talk... talk about what." Zhang Yu became nervous, and his intuition told him that it must not be a good thing.

"I told you the other day that Xiao Xuan actually doesn't like me."

"Uh-huh."

"But he was drunk that day and kept calling your name."

"Huh...ah?" Zhang Yu felt that his brain was a little short-circuited and couldn't keep up with Chen Nan's rhythm.

"What I mean is, Xiaoxuan has always loved you, but you haven't noticed that, so he has done so many stupid things." Chen Nan's serious expression was a little scary, and Zhang Yu suddenly had the idea of ​​running away.

"Brother, don't you think it's strange? He robbed you of Xing Na but didn't like him. He was with me, and if you objected to him, he would break up with me immediately. Li Yong slandered him and found someone. He, he But he endured it so silently! During the two years you were in prison, he didn’t even find a partner. Even... even I told him that I was going to get married..." Chen Nan was a little excited, Zhang Yu handed him the water, and he drank He took a sip and continued: "You know what, he said to bless me..."

Zhang Yu was silent, he didn't know how to comfort Chen Nan, he himself was in a mess now.

"Actually, brother, do you know, I think if Xiaoxuan really cares about me, he should snatch me away at the wedding and tell me that he loves me."

Hehe, then Xiaoxuan will take the blame for the villain, so you can stay with him behind your family's back with peace of mind and make your family hate him for the rest of your life?Zhang Yu sneered, he suddenly felt that it was sad for a homosexual to get married, he could think of so many tricks to torment his family and lover, he was glad that Xiao Xuan was not with this person.

"Chen Nan, I watched Xiao Xuan grow up, so he wouldn't do such a bastard thing as snatching a marriage. You refused to come out to you when he wanted to come out, but you blamed him for not loving you enough. If I wasn't there In the cell, you must be the second to break your leg."

Zhang Yu walked away angrily, leaving Chen Nanwu in a daze.

In love, there is no right or wrong, only love and not love.Zhang Yu forgot where he saw this sentence, and was regarded as the truth by himself.At first he knew that Xing Na broke up with him because Li Yong and Xiaoxuan had sex with her, but he didn't feel sad after he knew it, it was because he felt that he didn't love her enough, I believe Xing Na also broke up with him after discovering this.

Later Li Yong slandered Xiaoxuan because of Xing Na's cheating, and Zhang Yu also felt that it was because Li Yong loved Xing Na too much, but he shouldn't hurt Xiaoxuan, so he crippled Li Yong's leg to avenge his younger brother. He has never regretted it.

As for Xiaoxuan, he probably went to provoke Xing Na to avenge his worthless brother. The reason why he suffered that kind of injury but endured it silently for so many years was because he was in jail. He didn't want his family to worry about it again. sad.

But whether Xiaoxuan loves Chen Nan or not, he, the elder brother, has no way of understanding.

In fact, he and Chen Nan had already found reasons for Xiaoxuan for these things, didn't they?It's just that none of them listened to Xiao Xuan's opinion, what exactly Xiao Xuan thought.Zhang Yu picked up his mobile phone and dialed the number on the other side of the Pacific Ocean. The phone rang for a long time. Just when Zhang Yu thought he couldn't get through, a sleepy voice interrupted the monotonous beeping: "You OK, who?"

Only then did Zhang Yu remember that it was late at night on the other side of the ocean.

"Who's there?" Another question came from the phone.

"Xiao...Xiaoxuan, it's me." Zhang Yu wanted to slap himself after he finished speaking, how could he make a phone call like this: "Well, I'm your brother Zhang Yu."

There was silence on the other end of the phone, and Zhang Yu was a little flustered, afraid that he would hang up his phone, so he hurriedly continued: "I just want to ask, are you still used to living in the United States, and do you have enough money and daily necessities?"

Zhang Xuan's voice was a little low, and she came from the phone faintly: "Don't you want to ask, when will I go back?"

Zhang Yu was choked. In fact, what he was thinking at the time was that it would be good for Xiaoxuan to spend more time in the United States, and it would be better if she could bring an American boyfriend back. I heard that there is no restriction on the marriage of two men there.

"Do you think it's best for me to bring a boyfriend back in the United States, and then bring back an American nephew for you?"

Zhang Yu was speechless when he was said to be the center of the matter.Sure enough, in terms of understanding, nothing is like a brother.

Zhang Xuan's voice began to rise: "Brother, I'm not a child anymore, I don't need your protection anymore, I have my own thoughts, and I don't need you to think about me. I just want to ask you, do you love me or not?" Can't love me?"

do not love?Still can't love?Zhang Yu never thought about this question. He felt that as long as he didn't hurt his family, whichever answer he gave was correct.

"You never thought about it, right? You want to say, no matter what the answer is, you can't be with me, right?" Zhang Xuan's question hit the nail on the head, but Zhang Yu didn't know how to answer.

Zhang Xuan was panting on the other end of the phone, but Zhang Yu could only say: "Xiao Xuan, if you get tired from staying there, come back."

Zhang Xuan's voice was crying, he said: "Brother, I love you."

For the next two months, neither of them talked on the phone. Zhang Xuan's words "I love you" disturbed Zhang Yu's heart like stillness. He hung up the phone in a hurry, as if a monster was about to come out of the phone. His fingers were on fire, and the phone was so hot that his heart was also hot. There must be something wrong. Why did he want to cry so much?

In the next two months, Zhang Yu had a very bad life. He was scolded by the leader almost every day for being late, and he didn’t want to go back to the apartment after work. He just felt that the apartment was as empty as his own heart. Going to only think of one question: What is love?

Is it love that is as vigorous as Li Yong's to Xing Na?Or is it love that Chen Nan is so tolerant and caring about Xiaoxuan and can't let go but has to be ordinary friends?Or does it count as love if parents stick together like that?Zhang Yu couldn't figure out whether he and Xing Na were in love?Let go when you don't love, is it also a kind of love?The first time after he was released from prison, he was so drunk that he called his old friend Fatty. The fat man on the other side of the phone probably married a wife and had children a long time ago. Ask him: "Fatty, what is love?"

The fat man who was in a hurry was shuddered by him, and subconsciously answered him: "If two people want to be together, it's love. What's wrong with you? You fat man and I have a wife, so I don't have time to have sex with you..."

"Fuck your sister..." Zhang Yu hung up the phone, got up and went back to the apartment, swaying around, and saw a figure standing not far away, the suitcase beside him looked familiar, so he couldn't manage so much, He hugged the electric pole beside him and vomited, the man came up to help him, wiped his mouth with a tissue, he pushed away, pointed at the man's nose and cursed: "Zhang Xuan, you little bastard!"

Zhang Xuan didn't make a sound, his brother had such a problem, he would curse at people when he was drunk.

"Zhang Xuan, you bastard!"

"Yes." Zhang Xuan agreed, and went to help him again.

"MD, I must have owed you in my last life!" Zhang Yu hung on Zhang Xuan, unsteady on his feet: "You always say you have grown up! Grown up ass!"

Here it comes again, Zhang Xuan sighed, freeing up a piece of hand luggage.

"Tell me, I've already paid myself to you, what else do you want." Zhang Yu raised his hand, and tapped his brother's head unsteadily: "Say, what else do you want."

Zhang Xuan let him make a fuss, dragged him into the elevator half-carried and half-dragged, Zhang Xuan sat on the wall and continued to scold: "You said if we are together casually, what will parents do?"

Zhang Xuan couldn't help retorting: "Brother, you always think a lot."

"A lot of farts!" Zhang Yu stretched out his hand to hit him, but couldn't stand still, and Zhang Xuan hurriedly supported him again.

"You said, if we both like men, the Zhang family will be the last." Zhang Yuhang sobbed on Zhang Xuan's body.

Zhang Xuan couldn't figure out his logic anymore, so he let him mess around. He stayed in the United States for two months and made a few local friends. One of them was gay, and he was married. The relationship between the two was very good. Not shying away from it, Zhang Xuan once asked him: "What if two people who love each other happen to be brothers."

A friend told him: "That sucks.

He asked why.

A friend said: Because the family members may object, no matter who it is, the most fearful thing is to hurt the family members.

Zhang Xuan asked her American friends with a smile: In this human rights-oriented country, are there things that you are afraid of not doing?

The friend answered him seriously: Because falling in love is not a matter between two people.

Zhang Xuan suddenly understood his brother's feelings. At that time, he really wanted to go back to China, wanted to see his brother, and missed the place where they had lived for more than 20 years.Now that I have seen it, I am speechless. If the American friend is right, how should he face Zhang Yu and his family now? This is a difficult problem, and it has always troubled him.Just like that, Zhang Xuan sat on the edge of the bed and kept looking at her brother for a whole night without closing her eyes.

When Zhang Yu woke up, he saw Zhang Xuan's rabbit eyes. He rubbed his eyes to make sure that it was his younger brother who carried him home last night: "Aren't you in America?"

"I'm not used to staying here, so I'll come back."

Zhang Yu, who was tucked away again, wondered if his younger brother was really the obedient and well-behaved younger brother, why did his words become more and more unforgiving?

"Brother, let's go home together when you have time." Zhang Xuan's eyes were full of firmness, but Zhang Yu was frightened, and he hesitated and said, "Wait a little longer."

"What are you afraid of?" Zhang Xuan persisted, "I just want to go home and have a look, I don't think about anything."

Zhang Yu hesitated: "Then... what about the future?"

after?Zhang Xuan thought mockingly, what future could they have? Even the Americans said he was wrong, so what future could he think about: "In the future...you marry a wife and have children, and I will find a man to live with." There is no intersection, not even come and go.

"Just... isn't there a better way?"

"If my future sister-in-law doesn't discriminate against me, I can go to your house to see your son." This was the best result he could think of.

"I mean, you can stay in America..."

"So I can't see you anymore, so I can find someone to get a marriage certificate and live a happy life, right?" Zhang Xuan was on the verge of collapse, and such concern would be better than blaming him.

"Xiaoxuan... I didn't mean to hurt you." Zhang Yu felt his heart trembling, he really wanted to go up and hug his brother, but he couldn't.

"Brother! Please don't say it." Zhang Xuan covered his face with his hands, and his sobbing sound was like a wounded beast. He was afraid that if Zhang Yu said another word, his hard-won determination would collapse.

"Xiaoxuan, am I stupid to ask Fatty what love is today?" Zhang Yu lowered his eyes and said to himself, "Fatty told me that love is when two people want to be together."

"Since I hung up on your phone that day, I have been thinking: Are you not coming back? If you can find someone who truly loves you over there, it would be nice to be together without consideration... But, I don't know why, I thought so In the future, besides the gratification, there will be heartache, here——" Zhang Yu touched his heart: "Continuous convulsions, like having a heart attack. I also went to the hospital for an examination, hehe, guess what the doctor said?"

Zhang Xuan raised his head and stared blankly at his brother.

"The doctor said that it was just a temporary palpitation, caused by poor rest... I asked the doctor, but it really hurts. It hurts when I think of my brother... The doctor said, you should go and see your brain-no, it is Psychiatrist." Zhang Yu raised his arms to press his eyes, because the eyes were hot and humid, and the grievances and troubles of so many days seemed to flow out with tears.

He heard Zhang Xuan ask: "Brother, you actually love me too, right?"

He heard himself reply: "Xiao Xuan, let's go home tomorrow."

"it is good."

Zhang Yu didn't know how Xiaoxuan came out to his family back then. He thought that Xiaoxuan must have been very sad at that time, and so had his parents.

When I got home, Zhang’s mother happily cooked a table full of dishes, and babbled about a lot of things about their childhood. Dad was still smiling and listening, showing nostalgic expressions from time to time, talking about their mischievous childhood, and laughing. Laughing, Zhang Yu was sad when he heard it. At that time, they were innocent, happy and real.I don't know if after more than ten years, these things they have experienced now can also be used as talking points at the dinner table?

Seeing her brother was sad, Zhang Xuan quietly held his brother's hand. Now that things happened, he didn't want to turn back, even if it would hurt his dearest family members, he would not hesitate to do so.He, Zhang Xuan, has been obedient for half of his life and has never been willful, but he has no intention of giving in to this matter from the very beginning, even if the result is betrayal, as long as Zhang Yuken stands by his side, he feels that he is not afraid of anything—his brother Last night, she personally told him that she wanted to be with him. Although she didn't say love, Zhang Xuan felt that it was enough.

Zhang's mother noticed that the expressions of her two sons were not right, so she suddenly shut up. Just two years ago, at this dinner table, she received a verdict and a hospitalization certificate respectively. At that time, the atmosphere at home was like So dignified now.

"Mom..." Zhang Xuan plucked up the courage to speak, but was stopped by Zhang Yu: "Mom, we have something to tell you and Dad."

Zhang's mother's expression changed, she put down the chopsticks in her hand, and made a gesture of listening.

"Mom, I... I have grown up so much, I have never let you worry... I feel very sorry for you." Zhang Yu took a deep breath and continued: "I want to be self-willed again today, even if you treat me in the future. Kicked out of the house... Xiaoxuan and I are together."

Zhang's mother felt that her face must be ugly at the moment, but she didn't fully digest what her son said.

"Mom, I... I have always loved my brother. I don't know how to tell you, so I have kept it from you and Dad, but... I have tried hard, but I still can't forget him. I love him, Mom ...I'm sorry." Zhang Xuan couldn't cry anymore, after so many years, the feelings that had never seen the light of day could finally be exposed to the sun, but they were going to be burned, and they would be implicated together with family affection.

"It's so hard for you to go home, so can't you have a good meal?" Dad Zhang said in a low voice, and gently hugged his wife. He no longer knew how to blame his two sons.

Zhang's mother leaned in Zhang's father's arms, her face was pale, and she held his father's hand tightly: "Forget it." She turned to her two sons who had worked so hard to raise her: "I don't care about your affairs."

"Mom!" Zhang Xuan panicked.

Zhang Yu plopped down on his knees: "Dad, Mom, my son is not filial. He has lived for more than 20 years and still makes the family worry about it. Xiaoxuan and I don't ask the elders for forgiveness, but you can take care of your health. When we are away..." Deeply Kowtowing his head: "We will come back often." After speaking, he pulled Zhang Xuan to leave, with such great strength, Zhang Xuan felt that his hands were shaking.

"Brats, who said they will drive you away!" Zhang's mother finally couldn't bear it, and burst into tears.

Father Zhang tried his best to comfort him, but the effect was not great. He said angrily, "Go back to your room! If you make your mother angry again, I will lick your skin!"

The two brothers were stunned and glanced at each other. Does this count as... being forgiven?It wasn't until he was awakened by Dad Zhang's second roar that he "rolled" back to the room in despair.

Stayed in the room until the middle of the night without feeling sleepy, Zhang Yu hugged Zhang Xuan tightly and trembled all over, he felt that God favored them but it was untrue, he was already ready to be kicked out of the house today, the result now made him have It felt like a dream, and he was afraid that everything would change when he woke up.

"Brother." Zhang Xuan hugged him back. On that night many years ago, he also wanted to hold his brother through that difficult night: "Brother, do you regret it?"

"Fool." Zhang Yu kissed his forehead, this younger brother always made him feel so distressed: "Xiao Xuan, don't worry, I will always be with you."

"En." Zhang Xuan replied with a strong nasal voice.

In the early morning, Zhang Yu and Zhang Xuan respectively received a text message from their mother, with exactly the same content, she said: "My dear son, my mother will always hope that you can be happy, this will always be your home, I always hoped for You can grow up healthy, and now my mother’s wish has come true, I have nothing to ask for, I just hope that you will be healthy and safe in the future, and you can keep going, no matter what the future looks like, this home will be your future harbor.”

As the morning light came, the sun finally dispersed the night, Zhang Yu kissed Zhang Xuan's lips, and heard himself say to him: "Xiao Xuan, I love you."

The wish has been fulfilled, and the room is beautiful.

(Finish)