The strange classmate next to the bed

After a long time, there was nothing unusual in the room, and Qin Xian slowly relaxed his tense nerves.

He took out his phone and swipe aimlessly on the screen. He didn't know whether it was intentional or unintentional. He clicked on the dialog box in V Weixiuhua, stared at the photo with Han Sha on the train, and the movements of his hands He stopped, and stood there motionless.

Gradually, he hummed a song on his lips: "What kind of man are you~ what kind of man~ I just watched him go and didn't pay attention~ How naive~ don't hold on~"

There was a distant muffled thunder from the vent.

Qin Xian raised his head, shook his head, turned off the phone screen, and put it back in his pocket.

"Um~~~Um~~~Um~~"

Suddenly, a few hollow and deep baby cries came from the darkness~ forcibly pulling back Qin Xian, who was full of thoughts~!

He looked around the dark surroundings in a panic. The crying of the baby did not disappear, but became clearer and clearer as it approached from a distance. However, the sound did not seem to come from outside the house, but more like it came from inside the house. It's coming, it sounds like you can't tell the direction at all, as if it's pouring in from all directions.

Before Qin Xian had time to think about why, a faint halo the size of a basketball suddenly lit up in a dark place not far away~!

He didn't even think about it, and took a big step back while holding the mat. He didn't know whether it was because he had been sitting for too long or because he was too panicked.

"Mmm~mm~mm~" The crying came out in the halo, although it was close in front of my eyes, the sound seemed to be far away, lingering in an indescribable emptiness~

Qin Xian stared dumbfounded at the halo, gradually his eyes got used to the light, and he could see more and more clearly, it turned out to be a baby~!More importantly, a glowing baby suspended in mid-air~!

He couldn't help but think of a cartoon "Alien BB Hitting the Earth" that he had watched when he was a child. It was a little BB from Ode Star who brought his exclusive cat nanny and descended from the sky to the earth in a UFO~

That is an incredible baby, who can fly before he can walk~!

Qin Xian looked at the leisurely little BB floating in mid-air, and didn't know how to react for a while.

At this moment, a white shadow appeared from the darkness behind BB~!

"North nose~! You are wandering around, you will lose your way~!" The slender and deep woman's voice came into Qin Xian's ears clearly.

Qin Xian stared at Bei Bi's back with bated breath, dammit~!It was that white face just now~!

Before he could yell out, there was a heart-piercing scream from the opposite side: "Oh my god~! There's someone~!"

Qin Xian couldn't help covering his ears with his hands, frowned, and threw his heart out, and said angrily: "I haven't shouted to hell~! What are you shouting~!? Tsk tsk tsk~! You lion roar skills, It’s even worse than a charter wife~! It’s late at night~ please turn down your volume~!”

"You...you really saw me!?" Bailianpiao didn't listen to Qin Xian's words at all, and asked back in surprise, "This is amazing~!"

Bailianpiao said in surprise, while turning the little bei nose like a spinning top with his hand. The cry just now had disappeared, and the little bei nose was hanging in mid-air and spinning at high speed, laughing "KaKaKa", having fun Excited~

"If I didn't see it, then am I talking to the air?" Qin Xian shook his head helplessly and said, "It's good if I didn't see it, my feet are still soft now~"

Like a gust of wind, the white face floated leisurely to Qin Xian's side, and sat down.

Damn~!Another white dress~!Still sick clothes~! ?

Why does Ah Piao always like to wear white~!

This kind of close contact made Qin Xian feel uncomfortable all over his body. He resisted the chill coming from inside or outside, and sat stiffly pretending to be calm.

"I'm just here to walk with the baby!" Bailian said leisurely, "Every day is at this time, the wind and rain don't change~ You are the uninvited guest~! And no one can see us~!"

"Time, fate~!" Qin Xian smiled wryly, sighed, and said helplessly, "Tell your story~!"

Bailianpiao pulled the rotating Beibi over, and Beibi no longer circled, but instead floated around Qin Xian in a fancy way, letting out milky laughter from time to time.

The white face fluttered as if recalling the long past, sighed lightly, and said, "This is my northern nose~"

"Well, I can guess~" Qin Xian looked at Beibi and said, "How could there be two | corpses | two | lives?"

"I aborted it at the time. At that time, the fetus was already formed and would be born in a few months, but I didn't plan to let it come to this world." Bailian said expressionlessly.

"This... you were cheated by a scumbag, and you were abandoned from the beginning to the end after the Dongchuang incident happened?" Qin Xian couldn't help thinking of those bloody plots.

"Not really~ At that time, the child's father said that he married me." The white face floated and smiled, "Maybe it's because my inner activities are richer. I didn't know how to realize a truth before, and what I did was not Love, let alone say it!

I thought it could be very cool, but when the child's father told me that he was responsible for being pregnant, so when we got married, I couldn't be happy. He got married because of responsibility, not because he thought I was good. He is very happy with me, he wants to live with me for the rest of his life, so he takes advantage of this icing on the cake to get married~

After I made such a decision, his expression of relief is still fresh in my memory. "

Qin Xian was silent for a long time, and asked cautiously: "Then do you... regret it?"

The white face smiled lightly and shook his head.

"Why?" Qin Xian asked softly.

"Do you know~ The world can be very big or small. I think a person starts from birth, family, school, workplace, family, friends, classmates, colleagues...these are the places and people that can have intersections. Basically constitutes a person's world.

A new life, first of all, comes to the parents, until it grows up to adulthood, the influence of the original family is great.

The good or bad of the material and spiritual environment of the family directly affects a person's perspective and attitude towards the world. Is it gray, pessimistic, and negative?Or colorful, optimistic, positive?

If a person lives in a pack of wolves from birth, when he grows up, he will not feel that he is a human, or he will not know what a human is, or speak human language, but will only be like the wolf that grew up with him. Same, walking on all fours, howling wolves, catching prey, tearing animals raw, eating raw|meat and drinking|blood.

Another example is those abnormal | murder | criminals, people with antisocial personality, some people with schizophrenia and split personality. made.

Heh~ Maybe these metaphors are a bit clumsy, and this is the level for me, but I just want to say that I really deeply understand the profound influence of my native family on me.

I live in a family of five, with my parents and elder brother, and my younger sister who is one year younger~

Parents were born at the wrong time, born in a family of poor generations, did not have the opportunity to go to school for a long time when they were young, and came out to work in society at a young age, and became cheap labor for decades as soon as they worked.

Our three brothers and sisters kept to ourselves and did not do anything out of the ordinary. We are all honest and good children.

My elder brother is in college, and my younger sister and I are each in high school and technical secondary school. At that time, nine-year compulsory education was not universal, and the tuition and miscellaneous fees for three schoolbags were the financial burden of our parents. Our family can be said to be an extremely poor family.

Meal fees, book fees, tuition fees, my mother asked us to apply for a reduction of financial difficulties. When writing the reason for the application, we must write that my family is poor and cannot afford the money. shameless,

That feeling was really uncomfortable, like stripping naked to admit that I was inferior. Now that I think about it, my self-esteem was very hurt at that time. When I saw other classmates, I would subconsciously feel that others were better than myself.

The most memorable thing is that one day, I picked up a [-]-yuan bill at the school gate and handed it to the teacher. I forgot about it at first, but then when the school meeting was held on Monday morning, the teacher suddenly called out the whole school to praise it. Me, talking about how I made money, I added at the end that her family was very poor.

I was just in a daze at the time, until when I heard the last sentence, I suddenly felt dense sights coming from all around.

do you know?At that time, I wanted to find a hole to get in. With those hundreds of pairs of eyes, I felt that they were thinking, ah~ So her family is very poor~

I can't hold my head up at all.

Maybe the teacher thinks that by saying this, through such a contrast, my noble character can be more highlighted. They think this is good for me, it is positive, and it makes me work harder.

But this is only from their point of view, not from my point of view.

Really good deeds do not need others to remember, and some people who think they do good deeds are usually just a kind of self-satisfaction.

The best is the worst.

Moreover, the quality of a person is not inversely proportional to his wealth, or when I saw that hundred-dollar bill, I was just ashamed because there were people around me, and I was embarrassed to put it in my pocket Here, after a thought, I will bite the bullet and hand it over to the teacher.

And my dad, when he saw the reasons we wrote, was very opposed to my mother's approach. He thought it would hurt the child's self-esteem, and it also hurt his self-esteem as a father.

However, there is more than enough energy.

He was working at a low-level front-line job at the time, and he had no awareness of self-protection. It was only a few years later that he discovered that his lungs had suffered irreversible damage, and he had difficulty breathing. Stay at home all the time.

The burden of the economy rested entirely on my mother. She had to go to work during the day to earn money selling cabbage, and she had to find ways to make ends meet. She went to the market early in the morning to pick up unwanted vegetables, and cut some unwanted pork mince.

Alas~ I still remember the scene of four people sitting around a small dish of steamed pork and eating rice~

When a family has financial troubles, certain family conflicts intensify.

Since childhood, my parents would have been arguing a little, but then it developed into a big quarrel.

Under the double torment of my father's physical health and mental pressure, he lost his temper with my mother more frequently. My mother is a soft persimmon, who dares to speak out but has no strength.

She is the kind of traditional good woman who has children, three obediences and four virtues, and works hard without anger, but she is often bullied by others. With us three brothers and sisters, she will be left here for the rest of her life.

At that time, my elder brother and younger sister were both studying in other places, and I was the only one who was a commuter and lived at home every day.

I still remember that the college entrance examination was about to come, and I was reading at home, and my dad didn't know what to do, picked up the bamboo that was a few meters long and thick as a wrist, and beat my mother, loudly yelling at my mother. Weeping helplessly.

At that time, I helped cook the rice, fried a plate of sliced ​​white melon head and stir-fried meat, and as soon as I brought it out and put it on the table, my father picked it up with one hand and threw it on the ground, saying that I would not let my mother eat it.

At home, I was really upset.

And I'm not what others say, poor children are all sensible by nature.

At that time, my home was a small dilapidated house with a yard surrounded by a wall. I washed vegetables and bathed in the open air, and used iron pots for hot water for bathing and hair washing. I burned firewood myself.

I also loved beauty at the time, especially my hair. I had to wash and condition my hair with shampoo and conditioner every two days. two hours.

At that time, I was so poor that I was not willing to spend money on shampoo.

If things go on like this, some bad emotions accumulate, and one night, they erupted out of control. I took a few dry sticks, and like a madman, I threw the sticks to the ground vigorously, kicked my feet hard, and kept talking. yelling and screaming.

I will scold my parents and tell them not to suffer for me~!

It was a very broken state, and I couldn't control my emotions at all. If I didn't vent it at that time, I felt that I would really go crazy.

The dark and unbearable days lasted for a long time. Ten days before the college entrance examination, Dad caught a cold.

Except for eating, he will lie in bed.

Those days, it was so strange that there was always a dim light on in the room, and the light was turned off when he usually slept, and when he was asked to get up to eat, it took him a long time to wake up.

That Sunday, my brother just came back, and the three brothers and sisters were talking about my application for volunteering, but in fact most of them had no money to study.

There was the sound of his hard panting in the room. I went in to have a look, and then I wondered if the situation at home was really bad. The brother who has always been hardworking and sensible, rarely said something harsh to my dad. talk.

Then he walked out again. The room was very small, and there was only a thin wall between the room and the hall.

We didn't know if half an hour or an hour had passed in the living room, and my brother walked into the room to see Dad again. Wei Wei heard him calling Dad a few times, and then ran out to talk to Mom in a panic. ran into the room.

Dad lay on his back on the bed, as if he was asleep. I called out to Dad a few times, but there was no response. I grabbed his arm and shook it vigorously. I called Dad even louder, but Dad remained motionless.

I seemed to realize something, my tears couldn't be restrained, and I called my dad while crying.

Brother called [-], and ambulance personnel came to rescue him soon, but it was too late.

Dad, never got up again.

The next morning, I called the head teacher to ask for leave. The head teacher was very surprised. Why did I still ask for leave when the college entrance examination was coming soon?

I could only suppress the urge to cry and tell her that my dad died.

I still remember in the funeral home, when those people pushed the coffin containing my father into the incinerator, I couldn't help but screamed heart-piercingly.

At that moment, I really felt that Dad was going to leave us completely. The flesh and blood body at one moment will be swallowed by the fire the next moment, turning into a pile of bones.

When a person leaves this world, after leaving himself, the good and bad of his life will be turned into a string of beautiful memories, thinking about it, and crying.

Dad still loves us. At that time, the factory would regularly distribute some Coke Sprite drinks. He was very reluctant to drink them and brought the whole box back. Every time we saw it, we would laugh very excitedly.

He also loves to plant flowers and trees. He planted a big mango tree in the garden. Every summer, it would be full of plump and juicy green mangoes. For us at that time, it was like jewels and treasures. , I will try my best to chew a few when I come back from school.

But my mother thinks that it is very traditional and superstitious. People say that it is taboo to plant mango trees in the yard. The pronunciation of mango is somewhat similar to death, which is unlucky.

Finally one year, she took a knife and cut down the tree one by one.

After Dad was gone, looking back at that time, we all felt that we were eating Dad's meat and drinking Dad's blood at that time, which was raised with Dad's life.

Whenever I hear the song "Bicycle", I can't help but want to hold on tighter~Life is like a wilderness~like a child lying on father's shoulder~who wants to get off~I can't help but think back to when my father rode a bicycle when I was young He smiled when he came to pick me up from school.

I know that our parents have given us the best within their ability, but I am only a teenager, and I can't compare my heart to heart.

Like my mother, she has all kinds of traditional virtues of a time-honored wife with Chinese characteristics, and she does everything for her family, husband, and children. In the end, she has suffered for most of her life.

I think families and kids are scary.

Maybe some people will condemn me, saying that I am irresponsible, destroying that fresh life with my own hands.

I find it ridiculous that the person who said these words does not feel pain in his back while standing up.

It is me, not them, who are facing this crossroad in life. My choice will not affect their interests at all, but they like to criticize others from a moral standpoint.

I don't think simply letting a life into this world is to be responsible.

On the contrary, it is irresponsible to let a life be born into this world at will.

Give birth to it, but also nurture it.

As a parent, you should be able to give it the most basic material conditions, be able to love each other, teach it how to love, provide a healthy spiritual environment, cultivate a positive and optimistic attitude towards life, and guide it to form a self-esteem that is neither humble nor overbearing.

People are born, they must die, and they are doomed to suffer.

I asked myself if I didn’t have the confidence to go this way. I had no confidence in marriage, I didn’t have confidence in myself, and I didn’t want to make compromises for the sake of my children and push myself into the endless loop of wanting to stop.

I don't want to follow the old path of my parents.

The atmosphere at home was too cold since I was a child. People like me who have low self-esteem, weak self-esteem, lack of love and insecurity really can't gamble with the lives of three people.

Moreover, a marriage that hastily started due to so-called responsibilities will not go far after all. Compared with the pain of the three, long-term pain is worse than short-term pain. It may not be a bad thing to let it get far away from this world as soon as possible.

After all, I have also been this new life.

Character determines destiny, this is a decision I made after careful consideration. If I were to choose again, it would be the same answer.

What's more, the love between me and Haizhi's father is not really love, at best, we like a little bit, but this kind of liking is purer.

It may be that after the intense college entrance examination, when we came to the free university campus, we had the illusion of a happy ending, the liberation of human nature, and the indulgence of our spirit and desire.

With this kind of mind in mind, the person who discovered the other party accidentally or accidentally, seeing that the other party has a decent appearance and figure, and there is no problem getting along with each other, thought that the fate was irresistible, and the two became a pair.

There is a restlessness called hormones, not dopamine.

Then we are like two actors, exhausting our acting skills, spare no effort, and spare no effort to co-act this seemingly extremely romantic love drama.

We will walk hand in hand on crowded streets, we will kiss in the corner of a park full of mosquitoes, we will willingly stand in the rain for an hour to see each other, and we will cross most of the city in order to go shopping with each other, There are many, many more...

We seem to love each other very much, but how can two people who have never met before become so in love with each other in just a few months of contact?

When these bubbles encounter real problems, the boom will burst, and it will be destroyed without accident. What we have to face is these rotten messes, which are closely related to each other's lives.

After this romantic drama was finished, each other seemed to be separated from the drama, slowly returning to themselves, it felt like a dream.

Then it suddenly dawned on me, oh~ Actually, I don’t love him as much as I imagined~!What I love is actually myself~!

What we chase is the feeling of love.

We are for love, but not for loving each other; love, is constant; changeable, is the object of love. "

Bailianpiao pulled Beibi to his knees, gently stroked its fleshy hands, and continued:

"Student, remember, don't start a relationship just for fun, it will affect each other's lives.

Because it is him, I want to start a relationship; not because I want to start a relationship, it is him.

When you meet that person, and after careful consideration, you still want to be with him, then don't hesitate to enjoy yourself while you are there.

After all, meeting the right person is not about talking, if you don't start, you will never have an answer.

You have to know how to love yourself before you can love others. "

Qin Xian stared at the air vent in silence, and quietly heard what Bailian Piao said.

"If life could be restarted, I would not let myself be in such dire straits, and I would not take a chance to let this possibility of killing people happen.

I will love myself more and let myself have more choices. "

The room suddenly became very quiet, only the sound of Xiao Beibi Yaya's little milk could be heard.

Seeing that Qin Xian didn't speak with a pale face, he showed a sinister and unrestrained smile, and said, "This classmate, did you hit a tear? Don't~! Don't cry for my sister~! That's all the past, Sis can afford it and let it go~!"

"..." Qin Xian slowly straightened his legs that had been bent for a long time, hammered lightly a few times with his hands, and replied, "Poke it, it hit, but it's not a tear point, it hit an acupuncture point~! My Both legs are numb, buttocks still hurt~"

"That's okay, my sister thought that this state would hurt the boy's heart~!" The white face floated up holding Beibi, "I never understood why I came here every day, but now I realize that it is To meet you~"

"No way?" Qin Xian replied angrily.

"Well, now there is a feeling of consummation~!" The white face slowly floated into the depths of the darkness, "Ann~! The person looking for you is here~! We will meet indefinitely, goodbye~"

After finishing speaking, the figures of Bailianpiao and Xiaobeibi became darker and darker, and slowly disappeared into the darkness.