yesterday's wine

Sell ​​it, then put the money in an envelope and lock it in a drawer, even if the money is desperate, it has never been touched.

Under everyone's strange eyes, Xia Yu returned to the dormitory.

He is unable to care about other people's opinions, because apart from his studies, he has to do some part-time jobs that he has never done to make a living. These part-time jobs have exhausted all his energy, and nothing else is important except to survive.

The strength that supports him and makes him live like a person is Cheng Zhen's international calls and emails.Every time he opened the mailbox in the library, his blue eyes regained their brilliance, and when he heard his voice, the warmth flowing from his eardrums throughout his body gave him the courage to face the world again.

Like many years ago, Cheng Zhen always had a lot to say to him, and his letters were always very long.

He complained about the diet, the long winters, the heavy schoolwork, and the boring life there. Pretty Slavic girls didn't interest him, and neither did boys.He has no intention of admiring the magnificent Byzantine architecture, and Russian art, culture and history are only used by him as materials to expand his vocabulary...

He said he missed him day and night.

Xia Yu stroked those words, his smile was reflected on the screen, and he replied to the same fiery letters one by one.

He has never written such a long text, life, studies, patients he met, recent experiences, and thoughts that make Cheng Zhen unable to sleep after reading it. Sometimes he writes thousands of words, which he finds incredible.

But he never mentioned the bitterness he was going through.

"I'm fine, I have nothing to worry about except missing you."

"I like everything you say, every word. The reason I want you to write short letters is that I hope you can save time and do more valuable things. I still look forward to hearing from you, but , a few lines will suffice."

"I haven't been there, maybe I haven't had the chance to set foot on that land for a long time, Cheng Zhen, you are my wings, my feet and eyes, you have to feel the world freely, don't look back, I will always Behind you."

[br]

Every night, Cheng Zhen finds out a letter to read, and they are also his support.

He shared all the new and beautiful things with Xia Yu, but also did not mention his own experience, the poor living conditions, the rejection of foreigners, the Chechen terrorists who caused turmoil from time to time, and his natural estrangement from others.

Moscow is not colder than Beijing, but its winter is particularly gloomy, the sky is always gray, and the brightly colored buildings can't dispel the smog in people's hearts.Their faces were bleak, and they used violent words to vent their depression in their hearts. Alcohol became the only relief.

Cheng Zhen also learned to drink.

When the burning sensation ignites his body, the loneliness will evaporate, and the warm pleasure is a bit like Alyosha's embrace. He comforts himself with his words when he is half drunk and half awake. Only the ennui afterwards can make him fall asleep.

But he didn't miss anything because of this, he was still awake during the day, and he was more motivated than others to work hard.

After the New Year in 2007, Cheng Zhen was finally ready, both in terms of language and understanding of the city.With a few old photos and some scattered materials, he began to visit all the hospitals and medical schools in Moscow.

It was not until the snow melted that he found Valentina Koseleva in a nursing home.

Her hair was all white, her gray-blue eyes were dull and dry, and the years seemed to be particularly cruel to her. The charm of the past had long since disappeared. There was only an old woman in a wheelchair staring out of the window in a daze.

"Do you know Alexei?"

"Who is that?"

"Many years ago, you were in China."

Cheng Zhen took out a photo from the interlayer of his notebook, it was Xia Yu as a child, and he had spent a long time trying to get that photo, when he thought of the blush on his face when he handed over the photo, Cheng Zhen was in a daze.

She let out a long sigh:

"Alyosha, my boy... is he all right?"

"he's good."

Cheng Zhen told her a story that spanned more than ten years. A lonely boy grew up slowly, gradually changed from indifference to warmth, and slowly learned to love others. It was as beautiful as a fairy tale.But that was just his own fairy tale, because the other protagonist of the story was selectively silenced by him.

Koseleva's expression fluctuated with Cheng Zhen's narration, sometimes yearning, sometimes sighing, and it took a long time to get away from her emotions.

Cheng Zhen looked into her sad eyes: "Why did you leave him?"

Koseleva looked out the window, and a group of pigeons were circling in the sky. She didn't speak slowly until they left:

"betray."

"Who betrayed you?"

"His father."

Koseleva told Cheng Zhen another story.

In 1960, China and the Soviet Union turned against each other and withdrew 1390 experts in China. It was not until China's reform and opening up in 1978 that Sino-Soviet relations eased.With the complex of the older generation towards China, Koseleva came to China for the first time.At that time, it was the honeymoon period between China and the United States, and the Chinese still had a bad impression of the Soviets. Some even regarded her as a spy. Xia Siwei was one of the few people who gave her warmth.Before long, they were married and had children.

The common major made them choose the same subject.During the rapid economic development that year, many factories sacrificed safety in pursuit of efficiency, so they paid a huge price.The direction of their research is to save the lives of these people with the same high efficiency, although the treatment will leave life-long sequelae.

In the clinical research, their methods gradually diverged, but Xia Siwei did not choose to face it with her, but published the paper alone, making this research objectively his own achievement.

Koseleva felt deeply betrayed, sadly abandoned everything and left China.

Her narration was like water that boils and then cools down, but Cheng Zhen lost his peace of mind.

"It's over, kid." Koshereva comforted him in turn. "Later, I spent many years thinking about it. Maybe 'betrayal' is not an absolutely unforgivable thing."

"why?"

"Academically, 'betrayal' often means overthrowing the fallacy of the predecessors, which means progress. We should bravely betray the past, just like we should reflect on the mistakes made in the Soviet era, overthrow it, and never follow the old path. I I don’t hate him for betraying our common subject, because his direction is right, and this is the attitude we should have towards science. But my child, once we get back between two people, how can a loving heart withstand such hurt? ?”

Cheng Zhen couldn't answer, and at the same time confirmed in his heart that such a thing would never happen between them.

That night, he wrote another long letter to Xia Yu, detailing his experience of the day.

"Alyosha, no matter what happens, I will never leave you. My whole life is with you, and no one can separate us. There will never be a gap between us, and there will never be betrayal. I will always be loyal to you."

"Winter is over, and I'll be back with you soon."

------

29 The Taste of Reunion

When returning from Moscow, many people suggested that Cheng Zhen take the train. He had missed a lot of beautiful scenery by plane when he came, and he just made up for the regret when he returned home.

Compared with looking at the scenery, Cheng Zhen is looking forward to going home early. As for the famous international train, if possible, he wants to take his mother and Xia Yu together.The thought of this made him even more unbearable. After buying souvenirs, he booked the nearest flight.

It was a night flight, and Cheng Zhen was waking up on the plane. Every time he opened his eyes, only a few ten minutes passed. He simply plugged in the earphones and listened to the dialogue exercises over and over again.The mezzo-soprano in the recording drifted further and further away, the familiar voice replaced the original voice, and Xia Yu's face gradually became clearer.

He dreamed of their home again, a place that was always peaceful and warm, even if the two of them didn't speak, each doing their own thing, occasionally meeting their eyes, it was better than words and made him feel peaceful.He missed his body temperature, breath and smell, the hands he touched when turning over, clasped together and never separated, his misty eyes reflected in the early morning...

The bumpy landing brought him back to reality, and the sky was bright outside the window, and he returned to his long-lost homeland.

He didn't stay in Beijing, but boarded the train that day. There was no era of online booking, so he could only queue at the station. Whether he could buy a sleeper and a seat ticket depended entirely on luck.

Cheng was really unlucky and only got one standing ticket.

The head of the Dongfeng diesel locomotive dragged the blue and white carriages all the way north. He stood at the junction of the carriages and sat on his suitcase, listening to people discussing the EMUs that had just come online.He had seen posters at the Beijing Railway Station. The white streamlined car body represented speed and an unstoppable future.

He thought about his future again, how to protect him and Xia Yu, how to find a roof for them in this world.In the year he went abroad, Professor Li Yinhe once again launched a proposal at the Two Sessions, calling for the legalization of same-sex marriage. Although there is still a long way to go before it can be realized, at least it gave him a glimmer of hope.

During that trip, he met many people. The carriage was like a miniature society, where different dialects and cultures, occupations and ideas collided in the same space.In more than ten hours, Cheng Zhen's world was rebuilt several times, and he also spread a newspaper on the ground, lying on the ground like a migrant worker.

His head was full of fresh ideas and he couldn't wait to share them with him.

There was only her mother at the exit, she hadn't seen her for a year, Chang Qing embraced her child in public for the first time, Cheng Zhen was used to seeing people hugging and kissing abroad, but suddenly felt shy.

He didn't inform Xia Yu, because he didn't want him to see his whole body, so he slept at home for a day and a night, and came downstairs to his dormitory the next night.

Cheng Zhen has not remembered what was said in the first sentence of the reunion, but only remembers the feeling of being hit by an electric current, the floating joy flowing through his body, and only his own heartbeat is left in his ears.

They stood there like that for a long time before Xia Yu took his hand and ran out of the school like he did a few years ago.

The nearest hotel, find the room as quickly as possible, close the door, and lock it.

When it was Cheng Zhen's turn, he was pressed against the door and crushed.

They communicated eagerly, kissing and hugging, caressing and biting, but they didn't use voice, as if they wanted to pour the blankness of that year directly into each other's body.

no change.

It still tastes like a year ago.

The same tenderness, the same toughness, the same as Alyosha who was revisited over and over again in the dream.Cheng Zhen didn't change. After being emotionally moved, he couldn't bear it for half a minute, and groped his body with his hands, helping him tear his clothes.

It wasn't until their bodies touched that they were ironed by each other's body temperature and made their first moan.

This moan quickly lit a second fire.

Plump muscles filled the palm, neither soft nor delicate, with stubborn hardness against five fingers.Cheng Zhen loves the soft touch, the red finger marks are imprinted on the white skin, and the eyes are burnt pornographically - the black eyes have been hungry for too long, and the picture of the blood rushing made him dizzy, and he fell on Xia Yu's body, dying Kiss.

The body that has been lonely for too long is full of sensitive zones, the hot and humid kiss is pressed down, the uncontrollable panting escapes, and occasionally trembling humming, like a hook, holds Cheng Zhen's soul.

"Alyosha, Alyosha..."

He blocked his mouth with his body, but couldn't block any sound, Xia Yu was still moaning, and Cheng Zhen was still calling.He completely forgot what to do next, he just instinctively hugged him tightly and slammed his lower body against Xia Yu hard.The smooth belly and the rough hair were stimulated alternately, Cheng Zhen's scalp was numb, and the familiar memories were finally awakened. With a vigorous lift of his arms, he separated his legs, pressed them against the entrance hard and hot, and called for help in a hoarse voice. :

"I can't stand it anymore..."

Xia Yu suddenly panicked and struggled to get out of bed: "Wait for me, clean up..."

Cheng Zhen fished him back and stuck to him: "Come here, I've washed it."

So everything turned around, Xia Yu was no more patient than him, the kisses imprinted on his body were still hot, converging into the same impulse to release.Cheng Zhen watched him crouch down, with stormy waves in his blue eyes, and his hot and humid tongue carved out a path to heaven, swallowing his desire.

He drowned in the sea in an instant, and was shot in Xia Yu's mouth.

The white liquid that he didn't have time to swallow hangs on the corner of his red mouth. It is obviously a clean face, how could it become so lewd?Cheng Zhen didn't expect his reaction to be even more unbearable. He raised his legs and opened his arms wide to get ready.

He yelled the nasty words he didn't know where he learned, grabbed Xia Yu and sent it into his body, but the latter backed away panting heavily, licking in both wet kisses and hot desires, teasing the tip of his tongue, and licking the just ejaculated Something went into his body.

It was as if Cheng Zhen had received a gentle slap, his brain went on strike, leaving only the most primitive reflexes.

In a trance, the tongue left, and Alyosha came in. He couldn't feel anything except the fullness of being filled. He melted and disappeared, and his whole body was hugged and penetrated deeper.Every time he was entered, he twitched, and only one part of his body could use all his strength, desperately holding back, twisting desperately, as if he wanted to die with him.

Xia Yu almost died on Cheng Zhen's body, the bliss of orgasm coincided with his suffocating convulsions, and his whole body trembled.

I don't know how long the ecstasy moaning lasted, the voices of both of them were hoarse, and the first thing they did when they came back to their senses was hugging and kissing each other.

One time is not enough, two times are not enough, a year's hunger is not enough, and one night is not enough.

While Cheng Zhen was panting on the bed, Xia Yu went to the bathroom to rinse. After cleaning halfway, he realized that the hotel bathroom was made of transparent glass, and everything fell into Cheng Zhen's eyes.

"Don't look..."

He shook off the bath towel, trying to cover Cheng Zhen's eyes, but he could only cover half of his body, so he had to give up in despair.

The bath towel fell down, and Cheng Zhen's red face was on the other side of the glass.

They confronted each other through the glass, with black eyes staring at blue eyes, Xia Yu suddenly let go of his shame, and continued with half of the cleaning...

He is watching.

Open the entrance with your fingers, remove the shower hose and poke in...

He is still watching.

The lower abdomen swelled slightly, and the hot water washed the inside, he pulled out the water pipe, so that he could see the clear water flowing out of his body...

He couldn't watch it anymore.

All the hardness is against the glass, the coolness can't extinguish the dry fire at all, Cheng Zhen pushes the door and goes in, presses him against the wall, pushes him in without any explanation.

Still so hot, still so tight, the sound of flesh, the turmoil of desire, each thrust brings out a puff of water.

Who said water can put out fire?

Cheng Zhen only felt that this was adding fuel to the flames, and pressed down on Xia Yu crazily, turning his face to kiss him.The penetration of the lower body is not enough, it is necessary to fill up the top, hook his tongue, and suck the taste left in his mouth.

In Xia Yu's eyes, Cheng Zhen is innocent most of the time, but sometimes, there is a kind of pure evil that makes him die.For example, at this moment, while grinding hard on his sensitive points, he asked with that kind of innocent eyes:

"Which one do you like?"

"what……"

"Like here?" Cheng Zhen grabbed his hand, placed it where they were connected, and took that hand to poke behind him, "Or here?"

Xia Yu still lost, his shame was lost to Chun, his body turned red instantly, and the secret pleasure crawled all over his body, he was about to be overwhelmed.Cheng Zhen wrapped his arms around his body, not letting him escape, not letting him struggle, just letting him climax in the torment of shame and passion.

The carnival inside lasted for a long time, Xia Yu exhausted his energy, propped himself on the wall to pant for a long time, then wrapped his arms around Cheng Zhen, and kissed with endless desire.

"I like everything...as long as it's yours, I like everything..."

There was a strange itching behind him, and Cheng Zhen lowered his head to touch it, only to find a wet mark between his legs, which was left by Xia Yugang in his body.The latter was also in a mess, the clear water was mixed with strands of white, and it had already flowed down to the ankles.

It is really unsightly.

But indescribably satisfied.

The most naked face is only shown to the person you love the most, and no one needs to be ashamed, whether it's body or heart, as long as it's what the other party wants, why bother to hold back?

Cheng Zhen took the shower back with a smile, and the hot water enveloped the two kissing people, washing away the traces of this round, and the next round will soon be ushered in.

The emptiness of a year has finally been made up a little bit, but it is not enough, far from enough, in addition to their hungry bodies, their ears, eyes and souls also need to be filled, and they have so much to say.

Although the night is long, it cannot be wasted at all.

------

30 Desperate

Before meeting, Cheng Zhen thought that the fire would last until dawn, but he obviously underestimated their willingness to squeeze each other dry. After a few releases, they had to take a break, leaning together, and chatting about things that weren't too hot topic of.

The white lies in the email were quickly exposed. Cheng Zhen saw Xia Yu's eyes and knew that he had a bad year. Xia Yu also realized from Cheng Zhen's narration that he, like himself, reported good news but not bad news. .

"You..."

The two sighs coincided with each other, they looked at each other for a moment, and they were both a little funny again, smiling and laughing, it turned into a greasy kiss, kissing and kissing, it turned into clinging desire.

"Cheng Zhen, it's past two o'clock."

"Not tired."

"Restraint."

"Touch yourself, do you have a position to criticize me?"

"I miss you."

Cheng Zhen couldn't speak anymore, so Xia Yu pulled the quilt over the two of them, and turned off the light.

The hug with desire in the darkness is like a smoldering coal fire, although it does not burn strongly, it lasts long. This feeling is better than the eager sex, and it makes them find the dream-like tenderness of a year ago.

Thinking of that hut, Xia Yu felt guilty again: "I'm sorry, I can't keep it."

"I don't blame you," Cheng Zhen rubbed his forehead, "I was too anxious and wanted to tie us together too much. That...is not good. I always feel uneasy, do you understand that feeling?"

From the first word, Xia Yu understood what he meant.They are in the same situation, unable to support a family, the result of strong support is that both of them are physically and mentally exhausted. He knows how it feels to be crushed by reality, and he doesn't want Cheng Zhen to bear this burden.

"I understand. We have plenty of time, and there is no rush."

Cheng Zhen put his arms around Xia Yu's neck, and finally confirmed that his Alyosha was still there and had never changed.He no longer needed to use lust to prove each other's needs, his whole body relaxed, and sleepiness took over his consciousness.

Accompanied by a long-lost "good night", he fell into a deep sleep.

In addition to souvenirs, Cheng Zhen also brought back two letters from Koseleva.

When Xia Yu read the letter, he showed no expression. Cheng Zhen was always by his side, and vaguely saw that the letter was written in Chinese characters. It was a dozen pages long, and there must be a lot to say.

Putting down the letter, Xia Yu was silent for a long time and sighed:

"I don't need to apologize anymore."

"Alyosha..."

Xia Yu held Cheng Zhen's hand, and there seemed to be something in his eyes, but he didn't say it, he just shook his head and said, "You should go home."No matter how Cheng Zhen asked, he refused to say anything, so he had to stand by him in a daze.

They stayed until they checked out at noon, and then they left with tired reluctance.

When Chang Qing got home, Cheng Zhen had just caught up on his sleep and came out to drink water in a daze—he consumed too much last night, and the second half of the game was in the morning, and he couldn't hold on when he got home.

Cheng Zhen greeted his mother, and suddenly found that her eyes were wrong: "What's wrong?"

Chang Qing raised her hand and pinched his arm fiercely, causing Cheng Zhen to scream and run until he ran in front of the mirror, only then did he realize where his mother's anger came from.The person in the mirror had gray eyes, red marks on his neck that spread all the way to the back of his ears, and a face full of laziness after indulgence. It was really inappropriate to face his family with this face.

Cheng Zhen washed his face with cold water, and walked up to his mother anxiously: "Mom, I was wrong."

Chang Qing hated iron for being weak, and began to pinch his arm again: "Why are you so worthless? Doing this right after you came back?"

Cheng Zhen's face was hot all of a sudden.

"From the beginning to the end, I have never discriminated against you two." Chang Qing folded his arms and softened his tone a little, "Before you rented a house privately, you were still self-sufficient, but now it is better to spend your family's living expenses to meet your physical needs. Is it worth seeing?"

"I'm not……"

"Do you know why I sent you abroad?"

Cheng Zhen only felt that it was related to Xia Yu, but he didn't dare to say it directly, and shook his head with a blushing face.

"I told you to separate at the beginning because I didn't want to see this happen. It's not shameful to fall in love. The shameful thing is that you feel like an adult even though you are two children playing house. After studying for a year, how have you grown?"

"I was going to talk about this yesterday, and we will...not be like this in the future."

Chang Qing looked at the hickey on his neck and said nothing, Cheng Zhen was ashamed and felt that his explanation was not convincing.

"Cheng Zhen," Chang Qing's tone suddenly became serious, "The road you are walking on is not an easy road, and even if you put in several times of effort, you may not be recognized by others. It took me a year to accept it. It's not your fault, some people are born with..."

"I don't know if I was born with it." Cheng sincerely looked at his mother, "But I'm real, and I can't live without him. Mom, I can never have anyone else in my life."

"You are only so young, you can talk about your whole life." Chang Qing chuckled and turned his head to the side. "Life is so long and there are so many temptations, who can guarantee anything?"

Cheng Zhen was stung by that laughter, wanted to comfort his mother, but didn't know how to speak.

What he encountered in this year is more than all his previous experiences. The complexity of life and the world has just left a concept in his heart. What he saw was a step in the future, but his mother had finished what he hadn't gone through. the whole way.

What she said was right, Cheng Zhen couldn't refute it, but he didn't accept it either, one day he might end up with Xia Yu like this, that was a completely untouchable imagination.

According to the regulations, the government-sponsored international students have to work in China for two years, Cheng Zhen never thought about going abroad, and only wanted to keep Xia Yu by his side.As a result, when everyone contacted him for an internship, he discovered that his professional work direction was basically stationed abroad.

In all fairness, these are decent jobs, either state-owned enterprises or civil servants, and the pay is not low.Cheng Zhen is good enough to pass the internship interview, but he neither chooses those promising companies nor registers for the civil service examination.

He found a random unit, stamped his internship form, and never went there again.No one in the know can understand his choice, including the teacher.

Apart from working part-time, Cheng Zhen locked himself in the dormitory every day, preparing for various professional exams and a field he had never set foot in before.

It was almost an all-or-nothing gamble.

During this period of isolation, Cheng Zhen and Xia Yu rarely saw each other.

He suddenly remembered that many years ago, when he was in the third grade of junior high school, they were so busy with each other.At that time, he didn't know how to go in the future, so he stumbled and chased the path that Xia Yu had walked all by instinct.Now that I have finally caught up with him and can clearly see the path under my feet, there is no reason for him to bear everything alone.

Their encounter was like an accident. The two parallel lives collided together, and they became inseparable from each other, entangled all the way.Cheng Zhen also didn't know if he was a kind of sick person, betting his future on one person, and never considered other options since he was a child.

He was probably smashed.he thinks.

As Xia Yu's graduation approached, he became more and more busy, but his life was still difficult.Xia Siwei's attitude towards him still did not loosen, and he refused to bow his head and give up, holding on extremely hard.

Without Cheng Zhen, he would hardly survive those days.

During the short reunion, Cheng Zhen always brought all his part-time income with him. He fulfilled the agreement with his mother, and he didn't touch a single cent of the family's support, relying entirely on his own strength.

In the shabby small hotel, Xia Yu was holding a few thin banknotes, but felt that the weight was too heavy for him to breathe.

Cheng Zhen lay on top of him, adding another weight to this amount:

"What's mine is yours, and my whole life is yours."

------

31 Security

In retrospect, the trough of their lives was not during their student years, but the few years just after graduation.

2008 was an eventful year. First, there were natural disasters such as heavy snowfall in the south and the Wenchuan earthquake, followed by man-made disasters such as train collisions and poisoned milk powder, and then the global economic crisis.

Against this background, Xia Yu and Cheng Zhen were directly kicked into society.

Xia Yu's situation is a little better than Cheng Zhen's being unemployed after graduation. Before graduation, he had a place to go, working in the Second Provincial Hospital as a regular training doctor.It is said that it is a doctor, but its nature is similar to that of an intern. It just has an extra basic salary, which can barely make ends meet.Even though his father used to work here, not every department can take care of Xia Yu, and there are not many people who are willing to teach him attentively, and most of them treat him as cheap labor.

Not long after Xia Siwei retired, he was hired back by the Medical University to teach in the Basic Department.

Over the past year, he has met many young people, and his mentality has changed a lot, but he still can't forgive Xia Yu's rebellion, even though Koseleva has forgiven him.He would rather entrust the old house in the family building of the Second Hospital to a real estate agency for rent than leave it to Xia Yu to live there temporarily.

Xia Yu had no choice but to look for a room everywhere, but he was penniless, and for the sake of his father's face, he could not borrow money from anyone in the hospital, so he could only ask Cheng Zhen for help.

This was more embarrassing than any humiliation he had ever experienced.

During that time, the words he said the most were "I'm sorry", which was the word Cheng Zhen didn't like to hear the most.

He has long understood what his mother said, every sip of water after graduation is not free, and poverty can be a reason for discrimination, not to mention his relationship with Xia Yu.

But he had no way out, and neither did Xia Yu.

Cheng Zhen took out all his family assets, together with the money they sold their furniture back then, and looked for cheap houses near the place where they lived.Surprisingly, the landlord happened to be renting a house back then, and the rent didn't rise too much.

So they moved back to the Utopia of the year.

The walls have not been painted, and the traces of their previous living are still there. The previous tenant left in a hurry and did not have time to deal with the furniture, which made the atmosphere in the room a little subtle, as if something that was taken away was returned to the hand, familiar And strange.

They hugged quietly in the bedroom, and the scenes of that year emerged before their eyes. Those passionate love were replaced by sighing kisses.

Sleeping in the same bed after a long time, no one is in a hurry to relieve, the naked skin sticks together, feeding the hunger for a year.

Then came the desire to heat up, heating up little by little, melting the muscles, bones and flesh, ironing from the inside out, from the body to the heart.

Until the end, Xia Yu didn't leave Cheng Zhen's body, he was deeply embedded in it, longing for the warmth and tolerance, like indulging in a hug, a hug that surpassed the literal and traditional meaning - the person who hugged him was being hugged by him In my arms, I only accept him with a part of my body, but it seems to accept his whole life.

Xia Yu never imagined that that tear-loving little boy with black eyes would one day give him everything he dreamed of. This kind of unconditional support and love was never given by even his parents.

"Cheng Zhen, Cheng Zhen... don't go."

He kissed the back of his neck, tightening the hug to the limit, while saying the words of prayer, while sending himself deeper, wishing he could wrap himself up completely, and cover his uneasiness bit by bit.

Cheng Zhen shook his hand: "I won't go."

Gradually, he could understand Xia Yu's insecurity. That person was gentle and firm on the outside, but he endured as much in his heart. He still had his mother's understanding, but he had nothing.

Only myself is left.

"I do not go."

Cheng Zhen repeated, hugged his body, and embed them tighter.

Under the shadow of the economic crisis, that year's conference was not as lively as in previous years, and the price of conference translation was kept very low. Compared with his peers, Cheng Zhen's qualifications were not competitive, and he only received a few accompanying jobs.

Vasily came to China to look for opportunities as in previous years. When he met Cheng Zhen, he still suggested that he do business with him and travel between cities in the Far East.Cheng Zhen hesitated, but he didn't agree. Later, when he recalled, he was very grateful for his choice.

During that time, while continuing the "Thousand Characters 80" of the publishing house, he continued to gamble in his senior year and spent more than ten hours a day on simultaneous interpretation training.

The teacher is not optimistic about Cheng Zhen. Even those students who have passed the selection examination of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, few of them intend to pursue this direction. It not only depends on extremely hard work, but also requires talent.An ordinary person with a mediocre start and not outstanding talent, who is determined to reach the top, success is an inspirational model, and more results are success, and he gives up sadly.

But which road in the world can be called easy?

He not only wants to prove himself, but also proves that Xia Yu's choice is right.

He wants to walk this road for everyone to see.

Xia Yu had to work night shifts seven or eight days a month. What happened back then was only circulated in the Affiliated Hospital of Medical University. People in the Second Hospital knew little about it, but he had no chance to breathe.Many teachers of his father's generation, some whom he even called uncles and aunts, began to worry about his personal problems and kept introducing girls to him. Even among the young nurses who were fascinated by his appearance and temperament, There are many people.

Every time he talked to Cheng Zhen, the latter would just laugh without any sense of crisis.

At this time, Xia Yu couldn't laugh anymore.

"What's wrong?" Cheng Zhen held his face, "Want me to be jealous?"

To be honest, kind of.

But Xia Yu was ashamed to admit it, and tried to shift the focus: "When you got a girlfriend, I was very jealous."

Cheng Zhen pointed to his face: "Me? Girlfriend? When did it happen?"

Xia Yu took a deep breath, with an unnatural expression: "When you were in high school, once, I saw you and a girl on the playground."

Cheng Zhen thought for a long time, and suddenly realized: "That's my tablemate, like a little witch, telling me about constellations. She always gives me snacks, do you remember when I feed you, and you feed me that piece of candy... The more he spoke, the more embarrassed he became, his eyes suddenly fell on Xia Yu's face, which was slowly turning red, "I...you actually eat this kind of old vinegar? It doesn't look like you?"

"do not talk."

Cheng Zhen narrowed his heart, pushed him down on the bed, took off his clothes, and scratched his itches: "Don't talk about women, men have never done it before, I have never thought about others, I am... A girl with yellow flowers in the pure sense."

"I was wrong, Cheng Zhen..."

Xia Yu had no choice but to give in, but Cheng Zhen was aroused by him and wanted to do the bad thing to the end, stripping him naked and stripping himself naked:

"I'm not jealous, I want you to eat mine."

It didn't take long for Xia Yu to taste Cheng Zhen's "jealous power".

They did it very intensely that night, the stubbornness on Cheng Zhen's face was gradually replaced by seriousness, the sweat slid down the tip of his nose and landed on Xia Yu's chest, and the heat penetrated downwards until it penetrated into his heart.

Xia Yu's heart was beating violently, and Cheng Zhen's expression was focused and sincere, indescribably charming.

He wanted his whole life, from the first to the last, to be completely and completely his own.Cheng Zhen has said such things countless times, but it is not as good as this, telling himself how much he needs him, he must be him, and he does not accept that he has other choices.

He wants him to repeat it over and over again.

------

32 Armageddon

The peaks and troughs of life must be compared in a long time dimension. Every single day is ordinary and trivial, and it is difficult to notice the difference between today and yesterday.

Cheng Zhen and Xia Yu's life is very simple, and they don't have too much material desire. Their daily pastime is just walking and watching movies together. Like all ordinary people, they cherish their meager happiness.

But on such a day, it can’t be said that there are no regrets. There are many couples in the place where they walk. Every time they see those couples of the opposite sex holding hands, hugging, or even secretly kissing, they always keep their sourness in their hearts, and they only dare to look around. When no one is around, quietly touch the other person's bare skin with your fingers.

Cheng Zhen's fingertips still had the touch of Xia Yu's earlobe. The person who was harassed openly did not respond, but the person who reached out blushed. He took advantage of the fact that there was no one nearby.