For the rest of his life

"My mother? Is she still alive?" Xu Chenmu blurted out, a little at a loss, why did he say this all of a sudden?Is my mother not alive?If she was still alive, these words would be really treasonous, but the reaction and habit that came out of her mouth, before self-reflection, Lu Qiong looked at her in surprise and shook her head.

"No...not here anymore?" Xu Chen was stunned, his precise intuition covered his head once again to guide the direction, and for a while the news that his mother had passed away was pushed to the back by this news, he was stunned, and then remembered The content of this news seemed to be frozen, and he raised his eyes slowly to confirm whether Lu Qiong's neck was shaking, and then raised his eyes. A cold hand was pressed on his eyes, and the sun shone through his fingers. The cold and mottled light illuminated the contours of the fingers finely, reddened, and pressed coldly on the eyelids.

"What are you doing covering my eyes? I'm not sad. Maybe I was sad before, but now I'm not sad..." Xu Chenmu suddenly said the most outrageous words, and the moment the words came out, the tip of his nose became sore, as if sad I felt extremely unconvinced by this emotion, so I popped up to prove to her, look, you love your mother very much, and you are sad.

In junior high school, she was an average student in her class, because she felt that such a well-regulated study was a new thing, but she felt boring after sitting for a long time, and her grades were not up or down, and she did not show such a person's grades in the class.

It's just that the kind of person who jumps out of temper, jumps from the east wall to the west wall, and refuses to look back after crashing down several walls, has a good relationship with the teachers, so the class teacher saw that she was really out of shape, called her mother, and thought We need to cultivate her more. At that time, Xu's mother stood at the door of the office and took a peek. She pursed her lips and smiled, and told Xu Chenmu that it was her first time as a parent. She was a little nervous, but she still smiled slightly. He said calmly, sitting opposite the class teacher like the master of the office.

The homeroom teacher said to make up lessons, so that I can go to a key high school, but Mother Xu said no, my daughter has no time to play if I make up lessons!The Dean of Academic Affairs next to him raised his beard and thought it was really irresponsible, but seeing Xu Chenmu's really cute appearance, he moved his lips and said nothing.

The head teacher said, oh, you let her choose by herself. She thinks that the key points of the test should be the key points, right?You can't impose your own values ​​on her!Mother Xu made a lot of sense when she heard it, she nodded and pulled Xu Chenmu away and asked her if she wanted to make up lessons, so that she could catch up with her homework and go to a key high school.

Xu Chenmu stood there in a daze for a long time, not knowing why this important decision was on him, looked around for a few moments, and the class teacher pressed the bargaining chip in time, saying, if you go to a key high school, you can go to a key university, and the spread of key universities Learning is the best. You can go wherever you want, talk to whoever you want, and you can do anything with a press card. Don’t you like talking to people?

This sounded very deceptive, Xu Chenmu nodded.

Mother Xu didn't talk to her that night.

It was the first time that she felt a little sad, just like the current emotion, Xu Chenmu silently recalled, the tip of his nose was astringent, he sniffed, Lu Qiong took his hand away, and put the coat on her shoulder.

As if the mother said it this way: "I'm afraid you will go too. But you have to go, it's your choice. I'm glad."

"I do not go."

"Even if you don't leave, I have to leave, everyone will always leave."

When these words came out, Xu Chenmu pulled up his coat and wrapped it up, and followed Lu Qiong with small steps, following each step like a shadow. She didn't want to leave yet, and the woman in her mind was easily remembered, like It's instinct, after all, it's the closest person, and I gradually remembered it, so it filled this image. When I went to see her, it should be to see her relics or the cemetery. My mother never left anything behind, except for memories. cemetery.

On the day of burial, she thought, she was still standing here alone.

Although my mother said that there will always be parting, death is only the fairest thing, and everyone must die.

"I know, but I don't understand why you have to die early."

"Because I don't want to die ugly. If I'm seriously ill, I'll be stupid. I can't remember anything. You have to urinate and wipe my body. I don't have any thoughts about myself. What's the difference between being dead? , it’s better to die cleanly while I’m still awake, and be more glorious.”

Mother said with a smile.

She has never shy away from the topic of death. From the beginning to the end, about sex, about love, about death, about men, she and Xu Chenmu talked to each other like friends, and gradually discovered new conclusions. She is the most enlightened among the elders She is the kind who respects Xu Chenmu in everything she does, and truly treats her like an adult. She is different from everyone in that era, and she told Xu Chenmu about the poems and the distance many years in advance.Including the views on same-sex love, Xu’s mother said: I don’t know much about it, but I think it’s not good for me and men, but it’s good for others, and it’s right between a man and a woman. No, so I still think that it is a good thing if we can live in peace and harmony for a lifetime. It is okay to be alone, just like me, pulling you, the two of us can also live a lifetime, so you can’t say that I am a pervert, right? Marriage It’s just a form, and men and women are also a form.If I have to say, the primitive society is a social division of labor. In order to survive, the division of labor is gone now, so I don't think it is necessary to stick to this form.

Pillowing her arms and thinking for a while, Mother Xu added: "If it's not for a lifetime of harmony and harmony, it will be a lifetime of quarrels. After all, it is a companion. If you want to quarrel, you must have confidence. If you know how to quarrel, the other party will not leave, and you will be kicked out If you don't leave, it's better than peace and harmony."

She actually remembered so many words, as if she regarded them as life mottos, wishing she could frame them and post them in the circle of friends every day with bright red letters on a green background.

Circle of friends?She rubbed her forehead suddenly, and the door behind her clicked shut, and she realized that she had followed Lu Qiong out.

"Do you remember anything?" Lu Qiong took a look at her, turned her face away, "Consolidate and consolidate."

"No, it's quite boring——" Xu Chenmu's eyes brightened, "I'm really not sad, I'm relieved, if I die one day, you must have an attitude like mine and live open-mindedly."

"Understood." Lu Qiong didn't refute, but answered lightly, took her hand, and walked towards the elevator calmly.

Because of the feeling of being clenched, Xu Chenmu blushed. For some reason, she always blushed so easily, like a pure and innocent girl, but she was already past that age, and she suddenly found that she was facing Lu Qiong. , like seeing a new one, always blushing, like first love.

This is the first time this has been discovered?She couldn't remember clearly, she was vague, everything was about to come out, everything was hidden, only she stood on the top of the mountain stupidly, waving her hand and telling Lu Qiong that I had to remember!

Just looking at the tomb once, remembering her mother once, although this is her only relative, but standing next to Lu Qiong, she can't always be sensational, sad and sad, with a cold face that seems indifferent.

Looking at it for the first time after amnesia, facing the square and simple tombstone is like facing one's own past. The cross-section of the past is the image of absinthe, hallucinogenic and taboo. The past is like an illusion, and nothing can be touched now.

In order to be like most people, I specially bought a bouquet of flowers and placed it in front of the tomb. Suddenly, I felt a little sad when I put it there. Something flashed through Xu Chenmu's mind. sleeves, palms sweaty.

"Lu Qiong." "Huh?" Lu Qiong stared at the tombstone without squinting. She was completely unfamiliar to this woman, although in terms of relationship, she fell into the water at the same time as the sleeping woman underneath. Chenmu had to choose who to save first, but he just took a step first, without this ultimate trouble, he didn't understand the relationship between her and Xu Chenmu.

"I've always thought, why should I put a bouquet of flowers here to express my condolences? Then why don't I plant them around? I think such a large-scale flower sending ceremony should happen in large-scale mourning , no matter what other people think, I always feel that if it is my mother, she will not like this."

"You remember her."

Tomorrow you will forget.Lu Qiong thought.

"Yeah, I'll remember you too, you have to wait for me." Xu Chenmu casually mentioned something without making a serious promise, but Lu Qiong suddenly remembered the promise of "I'll kill you if I don't remember" , she felt a little wanting to laugh, she stood with her arms folded, her eyes were faint, as if she could see through the world, naturally she couldn't see through anything, she could only see Xu Chenmu standing there with a sullen face thinking carefully, finger Moving it on the arm a little bit, she thought she was still reluctant.