For the rest of his life

You are an outlier.

Everyone made such discussions in the dark.

You don't like to talk.

I don't like to play with my classmates.

I like to read books that others can't understand.

I don't like to laugh.

You came from another place, from a small village far away, and you are stained with germs that we can't see.

Your mother is divorced and you are a wild child.

Your stepfather is so ugly, you are so beautiful, your mother remarried.

Your stepfather is very rich, your mother must have taken a fancy to his money.

I heard that your former father was a migrant worker.

Your accent is different from ours.

Is it amazing to be able to speak Mandarin?

I pretended to be like this when I was young.

It's as if everyone's words have gathered into a waterfall, brushing the rocks into ravines and scars.

So far, Lu Qiong has not been able to use literary language to describe the situation at that time. She doesn't know why such a group of children condescend with the same sense of superiority as original sin.

But she found that there seemed to be a person like her in many, many classes, who was silent and bullied.

This is a later thing.

She sat with her head lowered and sips of boiled water, feeling the same needle-like pain as if it was yesterday as she went down her throat. When she mentioned this incident, her whole body exuded leaden gray loneliness and fear, and cold sweat would still break out on her back , she looked down at her fingers, she had nothing else to look at but her own fingers.

Xu Chenmu, who was sitting dignifiedly with his legs together, pursed his lips and looked at her solemnly.

Lu Qiong began to narrate from junior high school, and she transferred to that school from her hometown.

With the sense of powerlessness of black and white photos, the lens of the old days swayed hurriedly into Lu Qiong's memory. Xu Chenmu stared at her. At this time, Lu Qiong's profile was mottled, as if she didn't exist. Every strand emerged clearly, she seemed to see Lu Qiong who had just stepped into adolescence, still with long hair and a white skirt, her face was rounder, and she was not as thin as she is now.

There is a whole star river in the eyes, and the hidden brilliance is deeply buried.

She firmly believes that a person's character is shaped at an early age.

That's what it was originally.

Lu Qiong paused for a moment and didn't continue to narrate. He seemed to be brewing emotions, but he also seemed to be drowning them.

Xu Chenmu was entangled with such emotions, as if he traveled through time and walked on the sunny street, walking side by side with Lu Qiong. Lu Qiong was wearing school uniform trousers, trousers rolled up, revealing slender and white ankles, hair strands Jumping, shining golden light.

Lu Qiong raised her head, stared directly at the scorching sun, and lost her sight for a moment.

She stood in front of a ginkgo tree, waved to the tree, and stood silently in front of the tree. After a long time, she took out a collection of poems from the scratched schoolbag behind her.

Sitting in the shadow of a tree, he spread out his book and lowered his head slightly.The entire tree shadow is her territory. She reads poems and obscure sentences in the shade, from longing for the soft waves to the skirt of the golden sunset.

None of those words were read.

"My most beautiful notebook, that was brought over by my uncle from the city. I don't sell any in this small town, but I have one. Do you still want to deny it?" The girl threw Lu Qiong's notebook on her face and raised her waist. Let's turn to the first page, "Look, Lu Qiong, it's really a shame to write the word Lu Qiong. If this is yours, you can write it randomly."

Lu Qiong didn't speak at that time. At that time, she was used to being immersed in her own thoughts. When she saw this book, she thought of her father. She called her stepfather her father because he treated her like her own. He had a lot of money and was privately owned. The entrepreneur thought that Lu Qiong wanted to be a well-educated girl so that the family would have everything. Lu Qiong saw this book in the city and stopped to look at it, so she bought a stack for her.

Books, paper and pens, she has always been the richest.She suddenly thought of this, and smiled with the corners of her lips slightly bent. She smiled unintentionally, but thought of the smile of her father who had high hopes for her. When she was doing her homework, she walked past cautiously. But my heart is still happy.

Looking up, she remembered that she was now receiving angry accusations from the crowd.

"I know that your hands and feet from the countryside are not clean. Why are you so shameless and laughing? I'm going to tell the teacher!"

The girl slapped the table angrily, snatched the book from her, pushed her, and went to the office with the vigorous crusade army behind her.

Obviously a junior high school student.

Lu Qiong looked at their backs in confusion, rubbed the center of her brows, and felt very humiliated.

It was just a feeling, she didn't say anything.

Once upon a time, I took out caterpillars from my desk, needles from my shoes, and someone else's snot in my handkerchief.

As if she was used to it, she sat back silently, and happened to be the head teacher's class again.

He slapped the blackboard with a serious face and said: "I thought that some of our students who studied well had good personalities, but I didn't expect that we still couldn't have both good character and learning. The good atmosphere and good style of our school were all influenced by the outside atmosphere. Defiled, some of our classmates lost their notebooks, although it is a trivial matter—"

"Teacher, the book is very expensive." The girl added below.

"Ah yes, although this is a notebook, it is also something that the students cherish very much," the teacher stared at Lu Qiong vaguely, "but it has disappeared, it has disappeared, this is a matter of style, we students get along with each other It’s very good, and the friendship is very deep. Some students, she doesn’t fit in with the group and has a weird style. Our classmates’ enthusiasm can’t be displayed, and they don’t understand. , This is a matter of wrong style, and everyone knows who it is to criticize severely here today."

Everyone stared at Lu Qiong.

Can't see Lu Qiong.

Lu Qiong lowered her head, bowed her waist, and bent very low, trying to hide her body.

"Lu Qiong, I don't want to know anymore, don't talk about it anymore." Xu Chenmu interrupted suddenly, "It's good that you stand tall, you look good, you study well, you have a personality, and you have your own style in everything you do. Thoughts, cattle and sheep live in groups, ligers and tigers only walk alone, I'm tired, it's late today, I want to sleep—”

Lu Qiong is still standing tall and straight, not bent over as she described herself, wanting to hug the earth and bury it in the soil. She is proudly looking at the world with her chin like Jinsong, but now she turns her head gently: " You've said it before. Never mind, it's just a little thing—"

"This is not a trivial matter, Lu Qiong, do you know how many children in the world commit suicide because of school violence? I have done a survey before, and the number is amazing. You know that there are such children who hurt others with cold words in many places that you can't see , how annoying is the attitude of the parents?"

"I know, I know how annoying the parents' attitude is." Lu Qiong answered her gently, her eyes became moist involuntarily, and her eyes were blurred.

A blurred path, going back to that day, she saw three large characters on the blackboard, shame list.

His name was emblazoned on it.

The other one is the last one in the class with dementia, he looked at Lu Qiong cheerfully: "You are the same as me."

"It's not a happy thing. You shouldn't be like me. You should be like them. I'm different from you." Lu Qiong looked at the chalk writing on the blackboard. Circle, the other corner of the blackboard is the Honor Roll, which corresponds to the names of the top ten in the grade, and her name is being erased. The girl holding her own notebook is waving the blackboard eraser vigorously, as if to make Lu Qiong Wipe off the same.

"You deserve it." Someone said to Lu Qiong, "You are a thief."

Lu Qiong pursed her lips and said nothing.

"The teacher said that you have to pay me for mental damage. Did you hear that? The teacher said he was very disappointed in you. I didn't expect the old cadre to talk like farts, but today he speaks so pleasantly." The girl who lost her notebook Discussing cheerfully at the side, Lu Qiong turned her head and glanced at her, she smiled and pointed her head with her index finger, "You are a thief."

As if they had a legitimate reason to bully her, her book was picked up and thrown on the ground, trampling on the mud, they seemed to have a vent, staring at her and laughing, waiting for her compensation.

Tore her schoolbag.

In the ginkgo tree, she silently told the cause and effect of this matter to the ginkgo tree in her heart.

The next day was sunny and cloudless, suitable for diary making. The sky was so blue that you could tear it off and make bookmarks. Lu Qiong came to school early.

She stood on the podium, took a stack of her own notebooks, the same beautiful notebooks, the kind not sold in small county towns, rested her fingers on them, silently looked at the empty table below, and waited until everyone came, and saw Lu Qiong, Lu Qiong was sitting there with her schoolbag on her back. They had no choice but to hide anything, so they could only stare at her with a smirk.

Starting from the first row, she handed over the first notebook: "I'm sorry I stole your notebook."

The short boy looked at her in surprise, he didn't lose his book.

The deskmate next to him poked him with an elbow and told him that the teacher told her to return the notebook to the girl and said three times in front of the whole class: "I'm sorry I stole your notebook."

That very thin girl with trousers rolled up, her hair was combed much neater than usual, her face was cold and lonely as usual, she was weirder than usual, she was on everyone's table from the first row to the last row , They all put a notebook lightly.

From his throat, he said softly, "I'm sorry, I stole your notebook."

Say it to everyone.

Silent way of protest.

Walking to the side of the girl, the girl was wearing a hairpin in the shape of a plum blossom, sitting there with her arms crossed, she felt that she had a position, Lu Qiong was a thief, and it was only natural for her to pay for her book. It was Lu Qiong who had a problem with his mind.

But at that time, she also panicked, she thought her notebook was unique, and Lu Qiong had so many notebooks, so expensive.

Ah, so her father is an upstart, and her mother married her father because she saw that her father was rich.

That's it.

His stand became firmer, and he raised his head to look at the girl. The girl was slender and fair, with an aura of not getting close to strangers. She was different from everyone here.

A notebook was placed on the table, which was exactly the same as the one I had lost, except that it was a new one, as new as the one I took from Lu Qiong.

"Sorry, I stole your book." Lu Qiong stared into her eyes and said softly.

Holding on to the hairpin, she cleared her throat: "I'll just pretend it didn't happen, anyway, you paid it back, but a thief is a thief, and you can't change it even if you pay it back. As the saying goes, nature is hard to change! "

"I'm sorry, I stole your notebook." Lu Qiong lowered her eyes and said it a second time. The whole classroom fell silent, and everyone secretly watched Lu Qiong, not understanding why this girl who behaved strangely was going crazy. .

It's just that I feel a little flustered from the bottom of my heart. Lu Qiong was tortured by eyes, and her name had already been hanged in broad daylight countless times. Now she shrugged, as if she didn't care about everything, holding the book, her eyes were full of stern light. Later she Only then did I realize that my gaze was called hatred.

"I'm sorry—" She took a deep breath and elongated her tone, "I stole your book."

This is the third repetition.

"You, you, what the hell do you want?" The girl slapped the table and jumped up.

The author has something to say: Some time ago I was very homesick.

Maybe it's a little indifferent here, or maybe it's because the noodles here are so unpalatable.

I want to go back to eat oat noodles. The soup stewed with fresh mushrooms is very delicious.

Then he even missed the dried noodles.

This summer after graduating from high school, I was extremely bored. I never cook and suddenly want to eat something for myself.

I ordered a bowl of the thinnest noodles, clear soup, cut some green vegetable leaves, and put some ground vegetables in the soup base. If there is no ground vegetables, just make do with seaweed, a handful of dried shrimps, and occasionally add some eggs and shredded fungus, soup flowers Turn it over, throw in the salt and pepper, and quickly take it out of the pot, put dried tofu shreds, ham shreds, cucumber shreds, water radish shreds, pickled mustard shreds, fried peanuts with salt, cold bitter vegetables, put them on a chopstick, and pour Add sesame oil, eat like this every day, feel very good, life is very refreshing.

Now I can only eat instant noodles.

The noodles here are extremely unpalatable [生无可爱], like eating a pile of soft moldy French fries.

I want to go back to eat pressed rice noodles, bean noodles and steel wire noodles.