almost lonely

Good friends, have fun playing together.In fact, my brother-in-law and I are more likely to get together, play video games, go to Internet cafes, and play basketball together. Chenchen is a person from another world. He likes to read books, and his composition is very good. He is often printed as a model essay in Circulated throughout the grade.He is also the Chinese class representative in the class. God knows how much I hate Chinese class. He dutifully forces me to do Chinese homework every day, urges me to recite texts, recite Tang poems and recite Song lyrics, which makes me love and hate him. like.

I think if the incident in the first year of high school hadn't happened, we would probably have continued like this forever, and the three of us would be good brothers for life.

It was a day in October. I didn't want to do my homework at night and played games at home. It was strange that Lu Juelan was not online.I was playing the dungeon and suddenly received a text message from my daughter-in-law, asking if I could come out now, I said yes, and then quit the game to find him.He crouched at the entrance of the alley to feed the cat, shrinking into a small ball.I walked over and stroked his hair: "What's the matter?" He raised his head and frowned and said, "Brother Yi, my dad is not my dad." The tangled expression on his face was the same as when he was doing a big physics and chemistry problem. His mathematics, physics and chemistry were really bad: "I said, my brother and I are not Lu Chengxiong's sons."

He told me that their father's surname is Ning, and he divorced Chen Yuhong very early. Chen Yuhong married Lu Chengxiong with two sons who hadn't remembered anything, so they didn't know anything about their biological father. Two days ago, his biological father suddenly Sudden death from alcoholism.I asked a lot: "Then why did they get divorced?" His expression changed, and he lowered his voice and said to me: "That person is gay." Who knew this at that time?This word suddenly squeezed into our lives in such a distorted, abrupt, unbearable, and even a little scary way.I probably also started thinking about my own sexual orientation from that day on.

In the first semester of high school, we were divided into classes in arts and sciences. Lu Juelan and I entered the science experiment class, and my wife was in the arts experiment class. We only saw each other every day when we went to and from school.I'm not used to it. Whenever I have free time, I always like to hang around the door of their classroom. He doesn't come out to play after class, he just sits and reads.The first confession was in the social practice week of the second year of high school. There were few boys in the liberal arts class, so we didn't prepare a separate dormitory for them, so we put them together with us.

At night, a group of people played Truth or Dare, a very old-fashioned plot, and asked me if I liked someone, I said yes, and then the head teacher came in.I took a sneak peek at Chenchen, he had a book of Wusan spread out on his lap, pretending to be doing a question, but I could see that he cared a lot.Sure enough, we bumped into each other in the toilet in the middle of the night, and he couldn't help but asked me, "Who is the person you like?"

I was very thick-skinned, so I said directly: "You, I liked it the first time I saw you at the age of 11." He was startled, and habitually wrung his fingers: "Stop joking, no!" I asked, "Why not! "The expression of doing the last big question of the physics test paper appeared on his face again. He should no longer need to study physics: "You are a man, and I am also a man. If you like me, you will become..." "What will become of you?" ?” I pressed him, but he refused to say those three words because he thought it was a very bad word. "Anyway, no! Just kidding!" He was really angry.I belatedly realized that I had screwed up.

We have entered a very long period of embarrassment, and we haven't spoken much to each other for more than a year. Lu Juelan asked what we were doing, and I didn't know how to answer.Then came the college entrance examination. On the night of the college entrance examination, our class spent the night at KTV.Chenchen came to urge his brother to go home, but unfortunately his brother had already run away with his girlfriend, and we met face to face, feeling a little embarrassed.In fact, I wasn't completely drunk that day, but I said everything I wanted to say with the strength of alcohol, and it was true that I didn't intend to provoke him. I was really sad.

Didn't I say I just like you?Why haven't you talked to me for more than a year?Is there such a grievance?

I said which city you are going to, I will definitely not fill it in, I will draw a diagonal line according to the map, the farther away from you the better.

I said that I will go to college anyway, and we will meet at most twice a year, lest I hang around in front of you all day and annoy you.

I said forget it, don't meet twice a year.Didn't they keep saying that Baile Lane is going to be demolished? Then maybe we won't have a chance to see each other in the future, and we won't have a chance to see each other in this life.

He just cried in a few words, his eyes were red, his nose was red, and his face was full of tears. I said why are you crying? I haven’t cried yet.Probably because my mouth is too short, he wanted me to shut up, and he actually used his mouth to gag me.I was dazed for a few seconds, and kissed the back of his head anticlimactically. His lips were softer than expected, sweet and mulberry.

I left him a way out, and I asked him: "Have you thought it through? I'm gay, and you're gay if you like me." He was tangled up again, frowning and thinking for a long time: "That... I think about it. It’s over, as long as you don’t marry a girl, it’s okay for this kind of thing?” I frightened him with a stern face: “Who else do you want to marry?”

——We were together on the day after the college entrance examination.

We went to college in the same city.The first time was my birthday in freshman year, he came to me with a cake and a gift, I think he looked more like a cake than a gift.His body is very white, the kind of delicate translucent white that reminds me of gardenias. There is a small round mole in the middle of the back of his neck, which is set off by the surrounding fair skin, making him look very exquisite and cute.But at that time, I was purely talking on paper without any practical experience, and it hurt him a lot. He shed a lot of tears while calling me "Brother Yi" with a crying voice.

After graduation, we went to Lian City and rented a small apartment to live together.I didn't know how to do it later, but Chen Yuhong found out about our affairs and asked him to go home.I won't let him go, I'm sure he won't come back when he comes home this time, there was such a past in his family, and he is such a soft-hearted and kind person, he must be afraid of making his mother sad.I said, "If you dare to leave today, we're done!" He left anyway, and while I was asleep at night, he left me a note, saying that he would come back when it was resolved, and asked me to wait for him.

I didn't wait for his return, only the bad news of the car accident.I flew back to Jingcheng overnight and begged Chen Yuhong to let me meet him. I said he loved me so much, maybe he would wake up when he felt I was there.Chen Yuhong scolded me, saying that I would be shameless for saying such things.I don't care, I don't care about my life, face is nothing.I knelt for three full days before I was allowed into the ICU for visitation.

The little bastard slept for a long time, two months and seventeen days, I think it's as long as a century.The first long sentence he said after waking up was: "I had a nightmare, dreaming that you didn't love me." I was so angry that I couldn't control the tears and the swearing: "What kind of shit dream did you have Just this dream is worth it for you to sleep for so long and refuse to wake up? Why don’t you just have a quarrel, or just say something out of anger? Are you going to scare me like this?” He had no strength, and held my hand lightly Shaking lightly: "It's a good thing it's a dream, it scared me to death."

Nonsense, dreams are all fake, how could I not love you.

[Qixi Fanwai] A little thing between them

The place where Ning Juechen lived with his father was a very remote small town. Everyone loves to speak dialect when communicating on weekdays. Even the teachers in school seldom speak Mandarin.When he first arrived in Jingcheng, he was very uncomfortable, but he was not very talkative, and even if he wanted to talk, he would always speak in a very low voice, and everyone didn't notice it at first.

Once Ning Juechen brought Xu Ye breakfast, but Xu Ye didn't pick it up firmly, and the soy milk spilled on the floor.Ning Juechen twisted his fingers reflexively and carefully apologized to Xu Ye. Xu Ye went to the back door of the classroom and brought a mop over: "Why is it here again? I didn't pick it up. Why are you apologizing?" Ning Juechen nodded silently. nodded.It was raining today, so Ning Juechen didn't do exercises between classes. Ning Juechen took advantage of the long break to buy a box of milk from the canteen. When he came back, Xu Ye was not there. He put the milk in Xu Ye's drawer. I caught a glimpse of Xu Ye and Lu Juelan coming in together.

Ning Juechen spread out his Chinese textbook and lowered his head. After a while, he felt Xu Ye poking the mole on his neck: "You bought it?" Your cow (liu) milk (lai)." Xu Ye couldn't hold back after hearing what he said, burst out laughing, and imitated him and said again: "Cow (liu) milk (lai)?" Ning Juechen Not realizing anything was wrong, she pursed her lips and looked at him in bewilderment. "Niu (niu) milk (nai), not cow (liu) milk (lai)." Xu Ye thought this kid was too funny, "Why didn't I realize that your Mandarin is so plastic before." Ning Juechen blushed instantly He licked his lips, and repeated with a serious expression: "... cow (liu) milk (lai)?"

"No." Xu Ye removed the straw and took a sip, "You really can't tell if it was on purpose?" Ning Juechen shook his head and stopped talking.Xu Ye pushed the table and bumped into Ning Juechen's chair: "I'll teach you, it's butter cow, and it's short milk. You read after me!" Ning Juechen couldn't tell the difference at first, but Xu Ye was so serious about it I kept trying to correct it, and I was so panicked that I didn't even know how to pronounce the sound n. "...No." He threw down these two words, turned around and sat back.Xu Ye took a pen from behind and poked him on the shoulder blade: "Why not! Hey! I have a good heart!"

The next period is Chinese class, and as soon as he came up, he recited "The Difficult Road to Shu" taught in yesterday's class. Unfortunately, Ning Juechen was called by the teacher.he stood up