almost lonely

"Approximate Loneliness" by Almond Tea

How many steps does it take to put an elephant in a refrigerator?three steps.Open the refrigerator door, put the elephant in, and close the refrigerator door.

How many steps does it take to put me in your heart? ——It may be an extra step, first transform yourself into his appearance, so that you have a chance to pry open the door of your heart.

Ning Juechen had liked Xu Ye for ten years, and had been a stand-in for his own brother Lu Juelan for seven years. By accident, his soul actually passed through Lu Juelan's body.

1 My brother is getting engaged

When Ning Juechen came out of the bathroom, Xu Ye was smoking a cigarette by the window.In the bedroom, there was only one desk lamp turned on far away from the window, and Xu Ye's whole body was embedded in the dim light, completely hidden by the dark night sky outside the window.

Ning Juechen's eyes flicked across his slightly frowning sword eyebrows, long furry eyelashes, light-colored eyes, and further down, the beautiful bridge of the nose and thin lips that breathed smoke.

Ning Juechen doesn't like other people smoking, Xu Ye's addiction is quite heavy.It is impossible for Xu Ye to quit smoking for him, and it is impossible for Ning Juechen to quit smoking for him.

Today the company suddenly assigned a new task, and it was already eleven o'clock after returning from overtime work. Ning Juechen was dizzy and just wanted to take a rest.Unexpectedly, as soon as he got out of the elevator door, he saw Xu Ye waiting at the door with an unhappy expression. Ning Juechen was stunned. He hadn't seen Xu Ye for half a month: "Why are you here? It's so late..."

There was a pile of ashes and cigarette butts at Xu Ye's feet, and his tone was a little impatient: "I can't come to the house I rented?" Ning Juechen was choked by him and was speechless.

Xu Ye actually had the key, but he never brought it with him. Perhaps in his heart, whenever he wanted to come over, Ning Juechen should immediately open the door for him enthusiastically.This is the first time this has happened today.

The two entered the house one after the other, Xu Yi closed the door a bit loudly, Ning Juechen was startled by the bang.He wanted to explain to Xu Ye that he had just returned from overtime work, but when he turned around, he was roughly pinched by the other party and gagged his mouth.

Xu Ye's lips and teeth are full of tobacco smell, Ning Juechen doesn't like it but he has long been used to it.In line with Xu Ye's movements, he slightly opened his lips to let the tip of his flexible tongue come in.Seven years have passed, and Ning Juechen has already figured out all Xu Ye's likes and dislikes.

He is like a precision instrument made for Xu Ye, he squeezed and flattened himself into any shape that can fit Xu Ye, and accurately calculated all the ways to please Xu Ye.

Xu Ye was indeed very excited because of his wet and passionate kiss back. The hand holding Ning Juechen's neck slid all the way down the bony shoulder blades, reaching in from the back of his waist.

Ning Juechen's breathing was obviously messed up, he panted slightly and pushed Xu Ye away, his eyes were full of fatigue: "Let's not do it today..." Xu Ye was indifferent, and stretched out his hand to pull him back.The two were so close that Ning Juechen could clearly see Xu Ye's shadow in his eyes.

But he wasn't sure if Xu Ye was really looking at him at this second, or looking at others through him.

They went from the sofa to the bed, and it was already late at night when they finished.Xu Ye seemed to be in a bad mood today, he talked less than usual, and spent the whole night pitching blankly.In the end, Ning Juechen couldn't make a sound, his eyes turned white and blossomed, he lay down flat and pressed his heaving chest, like a stranded sea fish struggling to die.

The hot sweat that was dripping down his body quickly cooled down, forming a wet and sticky layer on his skin.His waist was sore and weak, and he had no strength at all. After a while, Ning Juechen stood up with trembling legs.As soon as he moved a little bit, a muddy liquid mixed with blood and water gushed out from his back hole, and flowed down his bare calf and dripped onto the floor.

Ning Juechen took some paper towels to wipe off the dirt on the floor, and then limped into the bathroom under Xu Ye's not-so-sympathetic gaze.He quickly cleaned himself up inside and out, squeezed out the last bit of ointment from the hose and applied it to the wound with expertly twisting fingers, then changed into a set of clean pajamas.

The pajamas were bought by Xu Ye many years ago, and the original light blue color can no longer be seen after they are washed white, but Ning Juechen likes them very much, and he likes everything Xu Ye likes.

Ning Juechen moved to the edge of the bed, lifted the quilt and sat down carefully. The bed was obviously very soft, but he still flinched in pain the moment he touched it.Xu Ye pressed the cigarette butt in his hand into the ashtray, the spark flickered for a while and then went out silently.

So in Ning Juechen's eyes, this face finally overlapped with the first face ten years ago.The rain in the desert, the sun in the winter, Xu Ye who suddenly broke into his boring life - at that time Ning Juechen felt that he could watch over him from the age of 16 to At the age of 60, I don't know whether to say it is pitiful or ridiculous.

"My brother is getting engaged." Ning Juechen broke the eerie silence in the room with these words, and he watched Xu Ye's reaction quietly with his eyes.

Xu Yi's long and dense eyelashes blinked a few times quickly, like two butterflies fluttering their wings. When he looked at Ning Juechen, the light in his eyes suddenly dimmed: "And his boss' daughter?" Ning Juechen felt a prank-like secret pleasure from the bottom of his heart: "Yes, it's just this weekend." Xu Ye went to get cigarettes again, but the box was already empty: "You want to go home?" Ning Juechen clicked Nodded: "Well, maybe I will stay for a few more days."

Xu Ye squeezed the cigarette case into a ball with all his might, feeling an unspeakable irritability in his heart. He thought he was depressed because of the news of Lu Juelan's engagement, but the fact that Ning Juechen was going home seemed to make him even more uneasy.Ever since their relationship was revealed four years ago and they were forced to come out, Ning Juechen had cut off contact with his family, and all his thoughts were on him.

To use a not-so-nice analogy, Ning Juechen is like a pet cat and dog he keeps in this house, waiting here wholeheartedly wagging his tail every day, eagerly looking forward to the owner's return, 360 five days.

During the Spring Festival of the first year, Xu Ye completely forgot that he had casually promised Ning Juechen that they would celebrate the New Year together.He and a group of cronies got drunk at the banquet, and when he woke up the next day, he saw a string of text messages and missed calls on his phone, all of which belonged to Ning Juechen. He said that he cooked a lot of dishes, and he also cooked crucian carp soup that Xu Ye likes.The last one was posted at midnight: [Happy New Year, Brother Yi. ]

Even a heartless person like Xu Ye felt sorry, so he quickly called Ning Juechen, but no one answered the beeping beeping sound for a long time.Xu Ye's little bit of uneasiness in conscience disappeared in an instant, and he even laughed in his heart that Ning Juechen dared to lose his temper and not answer his phone.

It was already four o'clock in the afternoon when he received the call back, Xu Ye insisted on waiting for the bell to ring all the way from beginning to night before answering it, and gave a lazy feed.Ning Juechen's voice on the other end was very soft, as if he was afraid of him: "Brother Ye?" Xu Ye asked aggressively why he didn't answer the phone in the morning, and didn't even explain his whereabouts last night.

Ning Juechen had a bad cold, his throat was swollen and sore, and he could hardly speak: "I overslept this morning, so I didn't hear the call." Xu Ye listened to his vague voice, and said impatiently Ask him: "Where are you? The signal is not working! If there is nothing wrong..."

Ning Juechen was afraid that Xu Ye would hang up like this, so he hurriedly cut off the second half of his sentence, his voice was hoarse and frighteningly hoarse: "Brother Ye! Tell me a Happy New Year." ——This year has not yet People say happy new year to me.

Xu Ye was stunned for a moment, and for a moment felt that he was too indifferent this New Year's Eve, and his tone softened deliberately: "Why are you still like a child. Happy New Year, Chenchen." Ning Juechen has been there for a long time I have never heard Xu Ye call him that. Even though he knows that this situation is mostly to make him happy, Ning Juechen still feels very satisfied, and always smiles when saying blessings: "Happy New Year, Brother Yi!"

After hanging up the phone, Ning Juechen struggled to get up to take a shower, and looked up to see his face in the mirror was pale as paper.He cooked a large table last night and waited for Xu Ye until 08:30.After the call was finally connected, Ning Juechen asked where Xu Ye was. Xu Ye was drunk and babbled nonsense for a long time but couldn't explain clearly. Finally, he said that he would come right away and asked Ning Juechen to wait for him.

Snowflakes were falling outside one after another, and a thick layer had already accumulated on the ground, and Xu Ye had drunk again, so Ning Juechen specifically told him not to drive and to be careful on the road.Ning Juechen was very happy that Xu Yi was willing to come over, he had given up all hope.He took all the dishes to the kitchen to reheat them, then sat back at the dining table and continued to wait. At 09:30, Xu Ye still didn't come.

Ning Juechen guessed that he did not bring the key, so he put on a down jacket and went downstairs to pick him up.As the snow fell harder and harder, Ning Juechen hid in the corridor and shyly grabbed his mobile phone to call Xu Ye. There was only a cold beeping sound in his ears. Later, Ning Juechen's fingers were frozen and he was still doing it mechanically. Dial Xu Ye's number again and again.

When it was almost eleven o'clock, Ning Juechen's phone ran out of battery, and he thought that Xu Ye might not come.

All the dishes on the table were completely cold again, Ning Juechen only took the pot of crucian carp soup to the kitchen.He was shaking from the cold and spilled a lot of soup on the floor along the way.Vegetable prices skyrocketed during the Chinese New Year, and you may not be able to buy it if you want to eat it. This fish was ordered by Ning Juechen at the stall several days ago. When he picked it up in the morning, it was alive and fresh. He thought Xu Ye would like it .

Ning Juechen turned on the TV. Fortunately, the Spring Festival Gala was not over yet, and the joyful singing and dancing program finally saved some atmosphere, so that he would not look too bleak.The heated fish soup exudes a tantalizing aroma, bubbling with milky white bubbles.Ning Juechen concentrated on eating fish while weeping silently. It seemed that he had put too much salt and it was a bit salty.

on tv