【Taizhong】Possible night

BGM: Masterpiece-Madonna

I clicked on the message, and the message came from Koyo Ozaki.

I was very surprised that she would send me a message. After leaving PM Entertainment and joining Buteisha as a solo artist, I lost contact with almost everyone in PM, including this executive and manager. Rather, I don’t even know her. have my number.I clicked on the message, and Koye Ozaki sent a very short message. She asked me, do you know where Chuya Nakahara is?

I am very puzzled, why Ozaki Koyo would ask me where is Nakahara Nakaya?She is Chuya Nakahara's manager, and Chuya, who was a trainee at the same time as me, is currently active in the music industry as a solo singer.We have not been in touch for a long time, and the news about Zhongye that I can know comes from newspapers or entertainment news.We have never been friends, and our current relationship is even worse than that of strangers. No matter how you look at it, Koyo Ozaki shouldn't have asked me where Nakahara Nakaya is.

I guessed that something must have happened, something serious must have happened, and Koyo Ozaki couldn't find Chuya, and even came to the point of asking me.In fact, I can probably guess what happened. I replied to the message and asked, is he gone?

Ozaki Koyo met with me, and she described the process as concisely as possible, and things were probably similar to what I guessed.Nakahara Chuya disappeared during the songwriting process. Ozaki Koye searched every address of his residence and all possible places to go, but couldn't find him.It is no secret to those who know him that Zhong also likes to be alone when he is creating, but this kind of disappearance rarely occurs.

Has he hit a bottleneck?I asked her calmly.

should be.Koyo Ozaki looks like he's having a headache.That song is a commemorative song for his first solo anniversary, fans are looking forward to it very much, his creation... hasn't made any progress for a month, he looks very miserable.

I believe that for Koyo Ozaki, coming to me is a desperate act of treating a dead horse like a living horse doctor. In PM, everyone knows that the relationship between me and Chuya is not good, especially after I left.But it seems that Koye Ozaki thinks that as a former trainee partner, Chuya and I share some secrets that others don't know, so that at this time, I will know where Chuya has gone.

I smiled at her, she didn't want to come to me, but she came anyway, maybe she really didn't have a clue.

I said, let me try.

Koyo Ozaki gave me the addresses of all the places Chuya Nakahara has been to recently, including recording studios and studios.Before looking for me, she had been to all the residences under his name, but no accident, there was no one inside.I asked an acquaintance to check the whereabouts of Nakahara Chuya, and it showed that he had registered a hotel by the sea a few days ago, but Ozaki Koye said that she had gone there a long time ago, and the room was reserved for a week, but there was no one in it .

From what I know of Zhongye, he needs an absolute, uninterrupted environment when writing songs, and he often doesn't stay in the place where he lives most often.I turned down the interview that afternoon, and because of this, Kunikida scolded me on the phone. I followed the navigation and drove for three hours to the seaside town where the hotel that Nakahara Nakaya had booked was located.

The sea breeze is fishy and salty, it is the flood season, the strong wind blows my hair into a mess, I wear sunglasses and a mask, time is limited, I don't want anyone to recognize me, it will only make things more troublesome.I found the hotel and asked Chuya Nakahara if he had ever left the hotel. At first the front desk refused to disclose the private information of the guests, but after I took off my sunglasses and claimed to be a good friend of Nakahara, they clearly recognized me.

Mr. Zhongyuan said that he had a poor schedule and refused all room service, so we didn't bother him after he checked in.The front desk looked at me apologetically.His agent was there, but Mr. Nakahara doesn't seem to be in the room, and we don't know where he went.

He didn't check out, did he?I asked.

As Koyo Ozaki said, Chuya did not check out. I asked them to give me the key card of Chuya's room. They hesitated and gave it to me.

Maybe go out and relax?The front desk said that the scenery of this seaside town is very nice, maybe Mr. Zhongyuan has been walking around and hasn't come back yet.

It's okay, I'll find him.I smiled at them.However, the fact that I have been here, please keep it secret.

I swiped my card, and the door lock made a beeping sound.

I entered Zhongya Zhongya's room, which was a large sea view suite. The terrace alone was as spacious as an ordinary hotel room.I stumbled when I entered the door. The floor of this suite was full of soda cans in a mess. I lowered my head, and it was all coffee, the brand that Zhongye drank most often.

I roughly counted the number of coffee cans. Nakahara Chuya's caffeine intake is definitely beyond the standard. It is hard for me to imagine his current state of mind.I walked around the living room of the suite, and there was a piano related to him, which was his favorite brand, and the piano cover was open.I took a look in the trash can and I didn't see any food packaging.

Zhong Yuanzhong is also like a lunatic, he shut himself up here and barely ate.The last time he had this situation in front of me was before the third assessment of the trainees. He locked himself in the company's storage room because of anxiety. out of the room.According to the habit, Zhong Yuanzhong did lock himself in this hotel suite, but he is not here now.

I pushed open the door of the bedroom, the quilts were piled on the bed in a mess, the bedside table was full of coffee cans, the bay window was wide open, and the messy scores and lyrics were scattered everywhere. Notes are smeared clean, obviously an unsatisfactory failure.

I walked around every room in this suite, no matter where there is no one, and indeed there should be no one, after all, Ozaki Momiji has already been here, if there is someone, she should not have noticed.Maybe Zhong Yuanzhong also left this apartment and chose another place, maybe he really went out to relax, these are all possible options, but I ruled it out immediately.

I think he's still here, and I don't even know why I'm so sure.

A few minutes later, I stood in front of the wardrobe of the suite, just like its oversized luxury balcony, this suite also has a very large wardrobe, its width is at least two meters, standing silently, like a dark caves that give shelter.I think it is enough to accommodate one person, and it is also very suitable for Chuya who is in a situation of anxiety and extreme paranoia. If Zhongya, like before, likes to force himself and create in a sealed environment, then he——

I gently opened the closet door, and the light shone into the dark depths of the closet door.

I saw a man sitting huddled in the corner of the cabinet.He was thinner than he was under the camera some time ago, his face was sickly pale, and he was still holding a score in his hand, which was full of traces of deletion.After I opened the cabinet door, he first raised his hand to cover his eyes, subconsciously avoiding the glare of the light. After a long time, he turned his head and looked up at me blankly, as if he hadn't recovered.

I looked at him, top to bottom.

He blinked absent-mindedly, blue eyes flickering.

you……

Before he finished speaking, he was grabbed by me and pulled out of the closet forcefully.

He was staggered by me.

His consciousness is not very clear, just being pulled forward by me.He nearly fell over the door frame and I caught him.After all, Zhong Yuanzhong has come to this point. I think it's funny when I think about it. He did often lose control before, but he has never been so close to the edge of complete loss of control.Even though it was midsummer, his whole body was terribly cold, as if he had no temperature.

I turned off the cooling in the entire suite, threw him in the tub, and I ran hot water over him from the shower head.Under the impact of the current, he finally recovered a little sanity, as if he had just recognized who I was, he showed a terrified and unbelievable expression.I let the hot water continue to run in the bathtub, and at the same time snatched the composition book that was still tightly clutched in his hand, he was furious, as if he had been robbed of something fatal, he rushed to snatch it, but because of the Overdraft has no strength, I subdued him, I pressed him in the hot water.

give me back!he shouted.I'm not done yet!

You can't write anymore.I pressed hard on his shoulder.You can't write it.

who said—

You just can't write it.

I stared at him intently.

He was angry again, like a trapped animal struggling before dying, the hot water in the bathtub splashed all over the floor, emitting a thick mist.During the fight, my whole body was completely wet. I threw the music book into the water in front of him. can not see clearly.

I jumped into the tub too, and I sat half-forced on top of him, I almost soaked too.His head was partly propped against the tub wall, his bright hair was soaked and clung to his forehead in a mess.He finally stopped moving.His water-colored eyes stared at me, filled with all his paranoia and pain, beautiful and desperate.

give up.I said softly.If this continues, you will die.

What do you know!

he yelled, as if he had suddenly collapsed.He was sitting in a bathtub full of hot water, and I could see the steam in his eyes.This is the first time he cried in front of me. No matter what he encountered before, he never cried, no matter how intense the practice, unfair treatment, or the betrayal of someone who once thought he was a partner, he never cried. cried.But this time, as if he was finally ignited by something, he shed tears in front of the person he hated the most in such an embarrassing situation in the mist where he could not see the direction.

People like you, people like you—you don't care about anything, and you don't even intend to care about anything, what do you know! ?

He yelled at me, he looked away, he hated me for seeing his tears.I think he'd kill me if he could.

Zhongye, I really don't understand.I said.

I sigh.

His hand was held by me, and I let him go.

I reached out, and I wiped away his tears.

He didn't want to look at me, and my fingers clasped his cheek.

I approach him.

I kiss him.

The bathroom was full of water vapor. In this extremely anxious midsummer, his body finally warmed up.

We went to bed that day, and his body was getting hotter and hotter.He didn't talk to me the whole time, and he really didn't need to say anything to me.I closed all the curtains in the bedroom, and in this huge suite, the bedroom became the dark lair that Zhong Yuan Zhong also relied on most in times of pain.

I kissed him, stroked the tip of his nose, the pinnae of his ears, and his collarbone.The bed was covered with scattered music scores, wet, semi-wet, smeared with black ink, with large and small crosses and lines drawn on them, and cans were piled up in the corner of the room, like a strange silent hill.This space is absurd and charming, like a postmodern artwork.He bit me in retaliation, and the blood from the corner of my mouth stained his sheets.

The next morning, I awoke to morning light.I blinked, still not used to the light.Someone had already drawn the curtains, and the humid sea breeze and air rushed in.I buried my body in the pillow, half-closed my eyes, and saw Zhongyuan Zhongya sitting on the window sill of the bedroom.He's wearing a white shirt that's a little too big, probably mine since his is still soaking in the tub.I saw him turn his head. He was holding a piece of paper in his hand, which was already filled with writing. He held a pen between his fingertips, as if he was holding a long and thin cigarette.He looked at me, his face not very clear in the backlight.

I wrote it out.

he whispered.

I wrote it out.

I didn't tell Ozaki Koyo what happened, and Nakahara Chuya naturally didn't tell either.Nakahara Chuya returned to the company that day and told his agent that he was just in a bad mood during the bottleneck period and went out to relax, and now he is fine.I also went back to Yokohama on the same day, and Ozaki Koyo did not send any more messages. After all, Nakahara Nakahara had already gone back. It doesn’t matter whether my former colleague really looked for someone and whether he was found.

Because of the injury at the corner of my mouth, I was scolded by Kunikida again, saying that the magazine interview required a photo shoot, but I didn't explain.

That song was called "Butterfly", and it ended up being Chuya Nakahara's most popular single during his solo period.Its publicity is all over the streets, in magazines, on big screens in shopping malls, and in the light curtains where people gather in the CBD.On the album cover, Nakahara is also facing the camera. He is wearing a white shirt, and at his fingertips, there is a blue butterfly with the same color as his eyes.

I've heard that song, it's a nice song, it's all the rage, and it's the most successful of all Chuya Nakahara's singles.In countless interviews, Chuya Nakahara was asked what the Butterfly that stays at the fingertips in this song refers to. Chuya Nakahara always gave the same answer, saying that the butterfly is a fleeting inspiration that came quietly. Will leave anytime.

After all, this is a butterfly.He said to the interview with a smile.Thank you for your love.

TBC

Osamu Dazai: We really slept

This chapter is all about reminiscences, revealing "that thing" mentioned in the previous chapter.It is actually quite clear to write here, and I have written where I most want to write.This article is a two-way secret love. For Chuya Nakahara, he never thought that Osamu Dazai would come, but he did.Osamu Dazai is the one he hates, the one he feels angry about, but the one who can pull him back on the edge.He couldn't say it, and he didn't want to be known. The butterfly that fluttered at his fingertips and passed by for a moment was never an inspiration for an excuse, but this person who brought him the same feeling.

In the end, I chose this bgm. It was a song I liked so much when I played Darcy and Xiaoben in "Cloud Atlas". The lyrics are very, very good.At first I really wanted to use a song with butterfly images, but I couldn't find a suitable one. If you like it, you can recommend it to me~!In fact, there is indeed a song with the word butterfly in the title. The atmosphere does not fit very well, but there is a line of lyrics in it that is really close to what I want to convey:

"Look at me, please, and don't hide from love."