III Jiangshan

There are bursts of silk and bamboo, and the voices of people are noisy.

It seems to be a gathering of family members in front of the eyes, the rings are jingled, the accessories of gold and jade complement the complicated patterns of the fabrics.

Places with many women are always extraordinarily lively——

The young and young unmarried ladies were making noise, some gathered together for a show, or gathered in the garden to fight grass for fun, and some, three or two leaned close together At the office, she whispered about her daughter's family, and from time to time she let out a clear and clean laugh like a silver bell.

The world of married women is much more complicated.Most of them take the position and camp of their husbands as their own position and camp, and some even take advantage of this rare opportunity to fight for the benefits they have always wanted to fight for for their husbands or children, and make friends with the families they want to make friends with.

However, these kinds of scenery are not what Mochi likes.

When women are not married, most of them are ignorant.Being placed by parents and elders in a husband's family that they thought was "well-matched", they even married in a ignorant way.

What about after marriage?

Overnight, he suddenly grew up and had to shoulder the so-called "family responsibility".But whose family is that family?It's just the family of the pillow man who was twisted together.

For such a so-called "responsibility", a woman spends her whole life entangled in "women's morality", "women's appearance" and "women's merit". What she hopes for is nothing but the love of her husband. There is hope.

However, when the beauty is gone and life is about to die, ask yourself: Do you still remember the beauty when you were young?What is the meaning of living this life?

Mo Chi still remembers the inexplicable resistance in his heart when the teacher who taught him his homework when he was young taught him the "Four Books for Women".

At that time, she was still too young to understand why she strongly resisted the so-called "classics" that were said to be "the guideline for a woman's life".

She wants revenge, and she doesn't want to become a pawn that is useless and abandoned.The girls around her who would disappear from time to time, and disappeared the next day, made her feel shuddering.

She told herself: In any case, survival is the first priority.

So, the master asked her to learn as she did, and the master asked her to recite it.Her intelligence and strong sense also amazed the master who taught her.

Later, Mochi grew up, and the books she read became more and more extensive. She had absorbed the nourishment of various scholars, and now she was able to quote scriptures and refute the "Four Books for Women" that she had memorized thoroughly.But she still didn't understand what the woman who wrote the "Four Books for Women" in history was thinking?Are they crazy?Write something that poisons women's minds and ruins it for thousands of years!

Especially Ban Zhao, who she once admired very much. In order to complete her brother Ban Gu's unfinished business, Ban Zhao, who continued to write "Hanshu", and was honored as "everyone", was actually the author of "Nv Commandment"!

Since then, Mo Chi never wanted to see the name "Ban Zhao" again, and even "Hanshu" was disgusted by her.

It wasn't until he grew older and had a better understanding of the world, that Mochi suddenly realized: It turns out that the reason why those famous women in history wrote the "Four Books for Women" that have been poisoned for thousands of years was just to protect themselves in the patriarchal society at that time. The position in the middle!

Their identities are the most noble, they are either queens, learned scholars, ladies of the family, good wives and good mothers who have taught great virtuous and Confucian scholars.However, even with such identities, they cannot escape the shackles of patriarchy.

To put it bluntly, they are only able to gain fame and virtue because of their attachment to patriarchy!

Mochi looked down on them, looked down on them before, and still looks down on them now.

If she were them, she would rather be alone for a lifetime without being recognized, than be that dodder flower that clings to a man and bows her spine and submits.

Mochi thought like this, strangely, her surroundings became quiet as she wished.It seemed that the women's laughter and the messy sound of silk and bamboo were suddenly stopped by an unknown force in an instant.

Mochi felt that her mind had never been so peaceful like this moment, and the tiredness and uneasiness that bothered her before were gone.

Her heart is as clear as a mirror.

At some point, a guqin appeared in front of her, which looked very familiar.

However, she had no time to think about the origin of this piano, her thoughts suddenly moved, a pair of clean and white hands had already plucked the strings, the melody was faint, it circled the beam for three days, and then flew to the boundless sky.

Suddenly, a figure flickered in front of her eyes.

Mochi's heart ached for no reason, and it hurt again, and the strings under his fingers were no longer able to move.

She actually stopped the sound of the piano, raised her eyes, and met a pair of eyes full of kindness.

Mochi's eyes narrowed slightly——

She had seen the silver-haired lady in front of her before.Not only have I seen it, this lady is still her noble person.

This lady is Mrs. Tai of Zhang Guogong's mansion.That day, at her birthday banquet, she was invited to play the qin music, which somehow touched the heart of the Tai Furen. She kissed herself after going to the tent, and tried her best to accept herself as a righteous daughter.

Counting from Mrs. Tai, I am still somewhat involved with this Prince Ning's Mansion.

However, Mo Chi occasionally went to play the piano in the mansion of the noble family, never showing his face to others, and always put a tent in front of him.

It's not that she deliberately showed off, but that she has always believed that Qin is the voice of a gentleman.She is even more self-aware of her outstanding appearance, and she only wants listeners to focus on the music she plays, not on her appearance.

As for such an approach, the stewards in Liyin Pavilion naturally fully supported it.

Because of this, Mochi had no chance to see Qi Xuan's true face at the birthday banquet in Zhang Guogong's mansion that day.At that time, she didn't know Qi Xuan either.

Looking at the old lady, Mo Chi frowned suddenly, as if thinking of something.

Her thoughts moved again, and she immediately thought that something was wrong: when she first met Mrs. Tai that day, it was her 70th birthday.At that time, Mrs. Tai's face was wrinkled like most old people of this age.But the face in front of her, she...is she 40 years old?

However, before Mochi could continue to react, Mrs. Zhang Guogong had already opened her mouth. She held Mochi's hand at the same time, and said with tears in her eyes, "Ying'er...good boy! How...how did you become so... This look?"

Mochi opened his eyes in astonishment, and couldn't help asking himself: How did I become like this?

As if, she herself knew that she was not like this in the first place.

This feeling is really weird!

Mo Chi stared at the old lady's face confusedly, unable to make a sound.

"Ying'er, where have you been all these years? I want to die as a mother..." Mrs. Tai continued to talk about the pain of missing her daughter.

Mo Chi's heart felt like a knife was twisted, and he felt the same, as if, in an instant, she was the "Ying'er" in Tai Furen's mouth.

She couldn't bear to look at that sad and crying face, that expression, those seemingly inexhaustible tears, made her feel distressed, and at the same time, she didn't know where to give birth to infinite self-blame.

That kind of feeling seems to be her own selfishness, not caring about her own life, causing her parents and relatives to suffer half their lives...

In a panic, Mochi wanted to pull out the hand held by Mrs. Tai, but he couldn't pull it away no matter what.

She wanted to call out loudly, but no matter what, she couldn't make a sound.

Her heart twisted into a ball of pain, but her eyes did not dare to meet Mrs. Tai's.

Suddenly, the silver thread on Mrs. Tai's head broke into her sight. It was as sharp as a knife blade and as painful as a needle prick. It penetrated straight into her brain, causing her to cry out in pain.

"Ah—" the voice was shrill.

Then, her hand was tightly held, it was a woman's hand that was slightly cold, but soft and delicate to the touch.

Mochi raised his head in confusion, his whole soul was absorbed into two pools of amber spring water.She was short of breath, staring blankly at her own shadow in those pupils.

The owner of the amber pupils is a beautiful woman.She stared at the ink pool quietly, there seemed to be thousands of words in her eyes, but she didn't say anything.

Mo Chi also looked at her like a demon, the more he looked, the more he felt that this woman was extremely familiar, so he couldn't help but exert a little force, and shook her hand back.

Because of her back grip, the woman's clear and resolute eyebrows revealed a bit of tenderness.

The woman was silent, but her eyes seemed to be able to speak.At least, with just a few glances at each other, Mochi understood what she wanted to say——

"Ying'er, why are you so stupid? Huh?" The woman asked Mochi, not questioning, but implying blame.

"Flowers in the mirror, moon in the water... Ying'er, do you understand?" the woman asked Mochi again.

Looking Through the Looking Glass... Is it?

Mochi absentmindedly chewed the four words that are easily associated with "unreal" and felt more and more bitter in his heart and mouth, as if he had been thrown into the bitter water of Coptis chinensis that could submerge his head, struggling uncontrollably out.

This woman, this woman who looks somewhat similar to Yuan Youqi but is completely different in spirit, what does she want to tell herself?

What she wanted to say, but... was it all gone?

Mochi was in a daze.

The scenery in front of me is suddenly different——

The place she was in was no longer the noisy birthday banquet in Zhang Guogong's mansion, but a desolate garden.

The silent woman was still holding Mochi's hand.For some reason, Mochi was not in a hurry to let go of her hand, and trusted her very much.

The afterglow of the setting sun, sprinkled on the loosely distributed ancient stone tablets in the garden, shattered into dots of light, like the endless haze in the heart.

The heart of Mochi is also saddened by this desolate and dilapidated scene.

She was pulled by the wordless woman and stood in front of a stone tablet, and the woman beckoned her with her eyes.

Mochi understood clearly, and cast his eyes on the stone tablet, he was so dazzled that he couldn't stand still.

So Mochi glanced away in a panic, unwilling to look at the Yanzu style characters engraved on the stone tablet, avoiding like she usually does not like to write Yanzu style.

In an instant, Mochi suddenly had an answer. She knew why she never liked Yan Zuti, even though she was forced to be familiar with this font by her master since she was a child——

As long as she saw this word, she felt sad, boundless and inexplicably sad.

Why are you sad?

Is it because of this silent woman?

Mochi wanted to ask clearly, but she vaguely felt that this woman knew the answer to the question.

However, the woman didn't give her a chance to ask, but raised her hand and pointed behind Mochi.

Mochi looked behind him slightly surprised——

A tall, stout tree.

Between the luxuriant canopy, two people embrace and snuggle together.One of them is a woman dressed in men's clothes. She holds the woman in her arms tightly, and carefully removes the dress of the woman in her arms that is spread among the tree canopies, for fear that the branches or branches in the canopy will stain the woman. The clothes scratched the woman's skin.

She cared about her, cared so much, cared so much that she lost herself...

For no reason, such cognition jumped into Mochi's mind.

Her lower abdomen suddenly began to hurt, making it impossible for her to take a closer look at the specific faces of the two people who depended on each other, and she was pulled back to reality——

"Aheng!" Yuan Youqi called anxiously beside his ear.

Mo Chi suddenly opened his eyes, facing Yuan Youqi's worried face.

It turned out that it was just a dream!

Mochi sighed silently, still feeling lost.

The author has something to say: The awakening of women's independent consciousness does not happen overnight (I borrowed a few words from Ah Heng's own little knowledge