cold flame

"Are you done with your work?" The two of them had nothing to say when they were walking, but Lin Mo couldn't help but speak after getting in the car.

"Not yet, today ended early to see the time, and I stopped by to pick you up early." Gao Wenxuan replied casually.

"Then why didn't you wait in the store?" Every time the other party came to pick him up, he always appeared in the store.

Gao Wenxuan turned his head and glanced at him, the corners of his mouth slightly curled up, "It seems that every time I decide to pick you up on the spur of the moment, I can see—" He paused, narrowing his eyes to consider his words, "It's something that I didn't expect .”

He also pointed to the last time he played the king game with Yang Hao and the others. Thinking of the last time the other party seemed to make a siege, Lin Mo couldn't help but jump in his heart. His mouth was tough, but the words he uttered were less sharp. Feel guilty.

"Maybe you came at the wrong time."

"Oh?" A smile brewed on his lips, with a cold look, "Then when should I come?"

"I don't care when you want to come."

"But I'd like to take care of your business."

Lin Mo was taken aback, stared at him and asked, "What's the matter with me?"

"I'm just talking about what I've seen." Gao Wenxuan explained, but it sounded to Lin Mo that it had some deep meaning.

He didn't say a word, and waited with a cold face for what the other party said next.

"Don't you have anything to explain?",

"No, what you see is true."

What is there to explain?Said it was just a joke among friends, or said that Lin Zi's kiss was just to get rid of the boy next to him, no matter which one, Lin Mo felt that it was very delicate to explain to the people around him.

The most ridiculous thing is that just now he found Gao Wenxuan looking at him on the side of the road, at that moment he actually thought whether he would be misunderstood by the other party.

What the hell was I thinking... so what if I was misunderstood?Lin Mo asked himself in his heart.

"So—" Gao Wenxuan lowered his voice.

"I'm gay."

The conversation in the car was suddenly interrupted, and only the gentle piano music played back and forth between the two of them. Gao Wenxuan held the steering wheel with both hands, maintaining his driving posture calmly, as if he didn't take Lin Mo's words seriously.

He didn't even look at Lin Mo, and asked in a deep voice, as if he was wrapped in something, "Do you know what you're talking about?"

"Of course I know, if you didn't catch me, I can repeat it again."

"It's just a lack of belonging and identity, self-awareness and confusion..."

"You don't need to use that set of psychological explanations." Lin Mo interrupted him, his voice was colder than before, and he leaned his head slightly on the back seat, "I'm not your patient."

"Even if not, I hope you can listen to me."

"Why should I listen to you? Just because you are my brother-in-law, I have to be a good brother and be educated by you? Forget it in front of my parents. When they are away, I have no time to act with you."

Lin Mo was most annoyed by the other party's appearance of being a good brother-in-law who was going to the end.Obviously he is an extremely selfish and narrow-minded person in his heart, but he still wants to make an image of being willing to do his best to create the warm and family relationship between brothers and friends that outsiders see.

Every touch on this seemed to annoy him, because it was also a constant reminder of a reality he couldn't change.

Compared with Lin Mo's rather fierce words, Gao Wenxuan seemed to be at ease. He had heard such words many times.He opened his mouth lightly, and said in the most gentle tone, "I never thought about being a good brother-in-law, or in your words, acting?"

"No matter which one it is, the reality is the same." This sentence seemed to be said to myself.

"The reality is, I don't think you are gay, so it was just a misunderstanding, I didn't see or hear it, you can tell me if you want."

The music lingered softly around Lin Mo like a piece of gauze that could not be straightened out. As if trying to pull himself out, his voice raised slightly, trembling, "Are you afraid of being gay?"

What if I'm gay?

The strangeness on Gao Wenxuan's face flashed across, and he slowly said: "I have met many homosexual patients, how can I treat them if I am afraid? But you are different from them, so you must not be."

Then what am I?Lin Mo looked at the man in front of him, and suddenly became confused about those throbbing, sour, and hopeless feelings, as if he was being pulled into the darkness by the person who lit the only lamp for him.

The next day, Lin Mo arrived at the destination very early, and the night was approaching. At this time, almost no one came to the bar. He greeted the boss, walked through the neatly arranged hall with seats, and saw someone sitting on the stage lateral position.

The black attire and the chic mid-length hair, sitting in an environment with no lights on, seemed to blend with the darkness and become the background board. Lin Mo walked over and sat down beside him.

"Do you come so early every day?"

"Almost." Seeing him sitting down, Lin Zi took out a cigarette and handed it over.

Lin Mo lit a cigarette for himself.He said casually, "My home shouldn't be far from here, right? It's quite convenient."

"It's passable, it should be closer than you." Lin Zi suddenly thought of something, exhaled a long smoke, looked at Lin Mo solemnly, and after a few seconds, he curled his lips and smiled: "I'm sorry last night, it's urgent, can you Do you understand?"

It’s okay not to mention this, but Lin Mo feels very subtle when he mentions it. He was inexplicably used as a gunman and participated in the entanglement between Lin Zi and Xu Yan. Playing that backup tire commonly known as cannon fodder?

Lin Mo glared at him and scolded, "Understanding! You are all fucking boring, and you still use this trick."

"That was forced out of desperation... I didn't intend to take advantage of you, although I feel pretty good." Lin Zi expressed his feelings openly, with a frivolous tone.

Lin Mo knew that the other party was trying to provoke him on purpose, and he didn't fall for it, so he brought the topic to Lin Zi's most sensitive direction, "Really? It seems that you succeeded, and Xu Yan probably won't come again."

"It's better if he doesn't come, and I can finally worry about it." After taking the last puff in his hand, Lin Zi flicked the cigarette butt far away, and a puff of smoke floated out of his mouth like a sigh.

Lin Mo suddenly thought of Xu Yan's extremely sad appearance last night, and asked, "It's not just because you can't get along with him that you keep rejecting him?"

"He and I are from two different worlds." Lin Zi moved his lips and added, "I mean, he is not from our circle, so I don't want to bring him into it."

"Just because of this?"

"This reason is enough." Lin Ziyun said calmly, "Once you enter this circle, it is very difficult to get out. Don't you also have a deep understanding? Let alone a person like him... Night,"

Lin Mo didn't speak, savoring the darkness in the words carefully.He finally knew that Lin Zi rejected Xu Yan because he didn't want him to become a homosexual, a real homosexual.Although it sounds self-righteous and considerate of others, only those who walk under the scorching sun of insisting on morality and human relations can understand the hardships and sufferings involved.

Lin Mo had experienced this kind of taste very early on.In a daze, he thought of what Gao Wenxuan said yesterday, and he firmly judged himself as non-homosexual, and he didn't know what kind of conclusion he came from.

"Let's not talk about this, why did you come so early today?" Lin Zi asked.

"It's not my mother, who is persuading me to resign early and take the civil service exam."

During this period of time, as long as Lin's father is not around, Lin's mother will find time to talk to Lin Mo, and a few words will involve work matters, always insisting that working in a bar is not a way to survive for a long time.They thought that their son was just looking for something new to play outside, and would resign after a while, so renting a house was never allowed.

Unexpectedly, there was no movement after a while, and the questioning of Gao Wenxuan's parents at the dinner table made them feel that it was very dishonorable for their son to work in an environment like a bar.

"Then go take the test. Your family seems to be related, right?" Lin Zi began to take out his guitar, holding it in his hand and suggested.

"No, I'm not interested in that."

"Then what are you interested in, singing?" Lin Zi smiled nonchalantly.

Lin Mo was suddenly unable to answer. He realized that he was still in the stage of finding his career goal, so he asked, "What about you?"

"Me?" I thought the other party would say it was music or something, but the answer was quite different, "I just need the money to get it."