rain in palm

Two in the morning.

Again.

I opened my eyes, it was dark, the bed curtain was well blocked, I couldn't see anything, I sat up, hugged the pillow, and wrapped myself in the quilt.

Again.

It happened so suddenly that people were caught off guard.After being with her, it never happened again, and I thought it was over, but it came again.

Some can't breathe.I shrank into a ball, suppressed, and took a deep breath carefully. Fortunately, there was this curtain, which isolated me from the outside world and gave me a sense of security, so it was not too serious.It's just... Tears came out again, unconsciously, flowing uncontrollably.

don't go out.

What happened today?Why all of a sudden?The reason, what is the reason?

don't go out.

Can't remember, is Xueba No. [-]?What happened, something so disgusting... disgusting, nauseating, disgusting!

don't go out.

It’s dangerous to go out, it’s going to hurt, it’s going to hurt, it’s going to be very, very painful.

don't go out.

Don't go out, don't go out, I don't want to go out...

A low voice suddenly sounded from outside the bed curtain: "Daughter-in-law?"

I didn't answer, but raised my head and stared at the bed curtain vigilantly.

A corner of the bed curtain was lifted, and she was holding a mobile phone. With the faint light of the mobile phone, I saw her worried eyes: "Daughter-in-law? What's wrong?"

I squinted my eyes, the light was so dazzling.

She wants to come up.

"Don't come in." I whispered, shrinking myself even smaller, staring at her, "Don't come in!"

She froze for a moment: "Daughter-in-law?"

"Don't come here!" I raised my voice.

She was really stunned and stood there in embarrassment.After a while, it went down silently.I reached up and closed the sheet tightly, then pulled it back.

So dazzling.

No sleep for one night.

The next morning, I got out of bed and took a shower at the same time as usual.I am the first one to get up in the dormitory every day, and the first one to finish packing. Today is not my duty, so I put my schoolbag on my back and left directly.

Did not wait for her.

After breakfast and returning to work, I always wear headphones in my ears, and look out of the window with empty eyes.

Gray, all gray.

It wasn't until I handed in my mobile phone in class that I came back to my senses, and when I came back after handing in my mobile phone, I found her sitting quietly in the seat next to me.

I went back to my seat and sat down, feeling very uncomfortable, so I moved slightly away from her.

The person beside him froze instantly.

There was a trace of guilt in my heart, but it was quickly overwhelmed by the clamor in my heart.

Don't go out, you will get hurt.

In class, I opened the book, I didn’t know what I was looking at, and I didn’t know what the teacher said. I just kept emptying, and kept emptying, until a note came from my side: What’s wrong?

I glanced, but didn't move.The note was silently put away for a while, and then slowly stretched out again: What did I do wrong?Tell me, I'll change it, don't ignore me. QQ

No, it's not your fault, it's me, I... I can't get out.

So the note was taken back and passed on again, with another sentence: Do you hate me TAT, I was wrong, talk to me TAT

No, I don't hate you, I...

don't go out!

The voice in my heart rang again, and I knew that I had made her sad.But I seemed to be surrounded by a dense fog, which suppressed me, prevented me from speaking, and prevented me from moving.

The note was sent back, but it never came back.

I just sat there all morning without saying a word.After school at noon, I didn't want to eat, so I took my earphones to the playground.She followed me not too far away.

don't let her in.

No, won't let anyone in, too dangerous, won't.

protect yourself.

I know.I know what I look like now, with invisible thorns erected all over my body, my face is guarded, and my eyes are shining with rejection.Don't go out, don't come in, I know, I remember.

"Little Mo!" A hand grabbed my wrist, I was startled, and immediately struggled to get rid of her hand.

Too warm, hot to the touch.

Fake, don't be fooled.

"Xiao Mo, don't be like this, what happened, you tell me." Her eyes were full of anxiety and worry.

Too close, dangerous.

"If I did something wrong, tell me, and I will change it. Don't say anything, okay?"

Liars are all liars, don't believe them.

"Little Mo!" She was suddenly hugged into her arms and held tightly, "Can you say something! Please..." Her voice sounded like tears.

don't go out!

But...my nose is a little sour, will she hurt me if she hugs me so tightly and warmly?

don't go out.

She's about to cry, she looks so sad, can she still hurt me?

don't go out...

I opened my mouth and wanted to say something, but the sound of the first word didn't come out.

don't want......

I swallowed my saliva: "Yuchen..."

"I'm here."

"I can't get out." Tears began to fall again, "I don't want to go out, I can't go out, it's dangerous, I'm so scared..." I grabbed the corner of her clothes, "I can't get out... ...."

"It's okay, don't be afraid." She stroked my hair comfortingly, and then kissed my forehead lightly, "I'm here, don't be afraid, it's okay, I will always be here."

"You promise? You won't go?"

"I promise! I swear!"

......

You can't get out, and you let someone else in.

She promised it, and she swore it.

you believe?

She's... different, I want to try, trust her.

......

"So? What's the matter?" At night, Yu Chen climbed up and got into my bed, and asked with a serious face, "I always feel that you have kept a lot of things from me. You don't want to cheat on the marriage, do you?"

"Specifically... I don't know why." I frowned and thought about it, "It's just that I suddenly couldn't fall asleep, and then I didn't want to talk or have physical contact with people. A voice said: Don’t go out.” Seeing her surprised face, I smiled and said, “Isn’t it scary and fantasy?” “Are you...Second Personality?” She stuck out her tongue, “But It really scared me to death, last night you looked like I was a monster, and this morning, you really scared me to death. Why didn't you tell me before. "

"I'm sorry..." I was a little embarrassed, "I haven't had an attack since I was with you, I thought it was okay..."

"Ah..." She sighed and patted my head, "It's okay, it's just...you look so distressing."

I fell silent, and leaned into her arms, and said softly: "I agreed not to leave." "No." She put her arms around my waist, "Never leave, go to sleep, I'm here."

"Yeah." I closed my eyes, "Good night."

"Good night." She kissed my forehead, "I love you."