january love

28

trickle of time

Duanmulian and Ye Qing pushed the shopping cart together and looked aimlessly at the dazzling array of products. For some reason, he blurted out that sentence. He obviously restrained himself from not caring, but he inadvertently emphasized that they were about to have fun together. The scattered facts, the uncontrollable subconsciousness is becoming more and more rampant.

Now that Ye Qing is still by his side, Duanmulian really hopes that time will not pass by, and he will always stop at this moment and try his best to cherish his dying lover.

Ye Qing paid the bill, and the two of them walked out of the well-heated supermarket side by side carrying their things. The temperature dropped sharply in the late autumn evening, and their hair was blown tousled as soon as they went out.

The bleak wind whipped up withered fallen leaves and swirled in the low sky. The street lamps on the street seemed to be wilted by the cold wind, and they were listlessly glowing with a dim yellow light. The deserted streets were empty and lonely.

Coolness slipped into the collar and Duan Mulian shrank his neck reflexively, just about to put his hands in his pockets but was caught by Ye Qing.

The man held him tightly, the irresistible warmth from the palm rushed into the blood through the skin, poured into the limbs, his nose was sore but he couldn't cry, he held back Ye Qing's skeletal hand with the same strength.

Duanmulian used to be most afraid of their relationship being exposed, but now he is unwilling to let go of the hand that he clenched tightly. He somehow wants to walk home holding hands like this, but the direction is the parking lot that is only a few feet away. A few minutes away is not enough to clean up the frantic heartbeat, not enough to remember or forget enough, not enough to gather enough courage to leave with your back, nothing is enough.

Time—please stop dragging me along.

Ye Qing held Duanmulian's hand tightly and pushed him against the car door, his frowning eyes rarely showed confusion and uneasiness, it was the first time Duanmulian saw Ye Qing like this, he was completely washed out, Stripped of the false mask, the furrowed brow resembles a rift that seems to meander down and tear apart the disintegrating mask.

Ye Qing looked straight into his eyes and said: "If you want, I can always be with you."

Duanmulian didn't know how to react, so he giggled, but his eyes were full of worry, he stroked Ye Qing's brow lightly, trying to flatten the mark that didn't belong to him, he said: "A person like me , I can’t stay by your side.”

Ye Qing didn't respond as if he didn't hear him, just stared at him quietly for a few seconds, as if he was thinking or confirming something, then he kissed Duanmu Lian on the forehead.

"It's getting cold, let's go home."

As soon as he got home, Ye Qing fulfilled his promise and went into the kitchen. Duan Mulian had no choice but to follow behind him in case the leader would have any accidents. He tore open a box of curry and told Ye Qing how to cook it. Sleeves handle raw chicken.

Although Ye Qing is a rookie in cooking, he is obedient and cooperative, at least he has never been a disservice to him, he has already mastered the basic skills under Duanmulian's guidance, but Duanmulian is always worried, so he never let him alone After finishing a dish, Ye Qing simply sneaked in to admire his lover's busy appearance wearing an apron.

He really likes the feeling of the two of them huddled together in the kitchen, their clothes and heels touching each other, delivering sauces to each other, surrounded by the sound of boiling water and the wafting aroma, especially when the steamed mist from the pot lid is lifted, it is very warm. The atmosphere of home, God knows how much he wanted the person who brought it all to be his wife.

But that person said helplessly "I can't accompany you", how could he not understand, he understands that this sensible child bears the pressure of family and career alone, it is impossible to abandon everything and ignore morality and ethics, Unlike his relatives who died and had nothing left, he thought that he would be unable to love, but he was planted on a small tree that could not sprout. He did not regret selfishly putting people around him and stealing a precious memory, even though the ending was not happy. Perfection, to him, is contentment after getting drunk, he dare not be greedy, he said to be gentle, so everything is according to him.

"Ye Qing, Ye Qing?"

"Huh?" It was rare to be called back from his solo fugue, Ye Qing turned his head to meet Duanmulian's puzzled eyes.

"Are the potatoes ready?"

"almost."

Ye Qing absent-mindedly quickened his hands, poured the sliced ​​potatoes into the pot, Duanmu Lian gasped at the strangely shaped lump, then turned the heat to high and simmered, poured curry and chicken into the pot and stir-fried again It's on the table in 5 minutes.

Ye Qing consciously washed the bowls and chopsticks to serve the rice, Duanmulian carefully poured the sauce, the curry's color was just right, it greatly stimulated the appetite.

As usual, the two sat facing each other, Duanmulian filled Ye Qing with a bowl of soup, and he was eating the meal alone.

Ye Qing asked him why he was so unhappy today, Duanmulian poked the broken rice on the mouth of the bowl with his chopsticks for a moment and didn't know how to answer.

"...The manuscript has encountered a bottleneck."

"You are absent-minded today, you have something on your mind."

"No, maybe it's because the thinking is exhausted in the later stage of the painting." Duan Mulian was suddenly a little scared, and wanted Ye Qing to stop asking, but he knew that even if he didn't say anything, Ye Qing would still peep from his every move. clues.

"This manuscript can be overdue, so you don't have to force yourself."

"Oh, I see."

"I believe in your ability"

"Ah."

"There are still many opportunities in the future."

"..." Duanmulian raised the corners of his mouth stiffly and couldn't even say thanks. He put down his chopsticks and stood up, pretending to be calm, "I'm done eating, the manuscript... I won't delay, so... go to the study first work overtime."

Ye Qing looked at the rotten food in front of him but didn't eat much, and heard the sound of Duanmulian's footsteps going upstairs, he felt a little uncomfortable. The guy and he can have a good time like a graduation, instead of worrying about tomorrow's arrival like now.

He packed up the tableware and opened the door of the study room. Although this is a study room, half of the space was converted into a studio not long ago to make Duanmu Lian happy. Half of the space is filled with books, the walls are covered with paper and the other is a mountain of paper paintings, like two connected workshops. , Fortunately, the room is spacious and furnished more than enough.

Duanmu linked the drawing board and held the pen in a daze, Ye Qing walked over to support his shoulder and kissed him, the shapeless draft in front of him made no progress.

Duan Mulian suddenly said: "Ye Qing, the last picture... I really don't know how to draw it."

"The end of the 24th solar term is severe cold, it sounds lifeless." Ye Qing unhurriedly took the green paint and squeezed it on the palette and continued: "However, the beginning of spring will be a few months after the severe winter. Silence is only one step away from carnival."

Ye Qing took out a piece of paper to paint and draw in an attempt to bring inspiration to Duanmulian, but when he finished drawing, he found it too ugly and felt ashamed, so he put the paper back on the table.

He sucked his lover's cheek and said softly: "Don't be frightened by the darkness before dawn, if you want, you can stay here forever."

There is a voodoo in Ye Qing's words, like a ghost of impermanence that seduces his soul and pulls him into a selfish dream, he clamors in his heart that I am willing, why not, he even wants to stay here as a boss's subordinate with the cheek all his life, but he can't, He understands that some things cannot be escaped.

He can hide here for fun, but only for a little bit.

Duanmulian turned over the paper that Ye Qing covered on the table, on it was a crooked drawing of a hibernating bear and a tree sprouting new buds, he smiled and thought to himself, the journey of a thousand miles can hold his hand and go through wind and rain , is already the best ending.

So he took the initiative to kiss Ye Qing, and cruelly cut off all thoughts: "I'm sorry for causing you trouble these days."

Ye Qing embraced the lover who was about to leave him and said slowly: "I respect your choice."

Ye Qing suddenly remembered that there was a sentence in a book he read a long time ago, [Some people are born to be embraced by happiness, and some are born to be surrounded by long night].

He obviously belongs to the latter, but why did this ignorant guy come to wake up the softest part of his heart and then cruelly ignore it.

Duanmulian's departure made him see again that he was alone all the time, even so, he hoped that guy would be well, so he had to pretend to be strong and stood where he was and watched him leave, looking less embarrassed.

He had the idea of ​​taking people away countless times and was suppressed countless times. In the end, he was still reluctant. It must be the result of careful consideration that his sensible lover can make today's decision. He will not interfere. Psychology With thorough research, he understands that forcibly tying up a stubborn person will not have any good results.

This night Ye Qing hugged Duanmulian from his back and couldn't fall asleep for a long time.