Eighteen bronze figures in the entertainment industry

I don't know how much the relationship between Jiang Yilan and I has been repaired now. In my opinion, although we seem to have reached an agreement and reconciled about Jiang Qi's matter, the key issues in the previous dispute still exist. Our relationship The rift that appeared, the balance of my relationship with her tilted to the side of love is still unresolved.

I don't know if the next time I bring it up, it will happen again last night.

But now I feel that I dare not mention it, at least when she is still playing Jiang Qi, it is best not to mention it.

Now that Jiang Qi has passed away, the cooperation direction of fulfilling her last wish allows Jiang Yilan and I to ignore our own problems and feelings for the time being, but the resolution of the problems between us has therefore become far away, and the resolution has become more and more difficult. difficult.

The pain in my heart also stems from this. I couldn't say what I really thought about her before, let alone now.

For those who are not familiar with Jiang Qi, there is no problem with Jiang Yilan's performance.But for acquaintances, Jiang Qi must act very accurately. Any small abnormality may arouse suspicion and lead to discovery.

After the crew gathering last night, I realized that I was a big factor that influenced her. Take last night as an example, after we had a big fight, no matter how hard she tried to calm her emotions, she was still not right, and then Jiao Tian noticed.After that, it was extremely dangerous for her to expose her original voice because of me. Fortunately, the few people who knew Jiang Qi best at that time all went out. Although Xu Xixi who was present was cunning, she was not smart.

Thinking of this, I feel a little depressed. The relationship between Jiang Yilan and me is obviously closer than that of Jiang Qi and me. Although the behavior last night seemed natural to us, it may not be so to everyone. In the eyes of others, we are Jiang Qi. Qi and Mucha, also because Jiao Tian is involved with Jiang Qi, this can easily become a topic of conversation and a point of attention.

Therefore, in order to pass the days when she replaced Jiang Qi smoothly, and to fulfill what I said to support her, I must ensure that our relationship will not suddenly become turbulent, which will cause our relationship to change and our emotions to change drastically. Words should be avoided, it is best to maintain our previous relationship, at least no changes will be introduced.

Suddenly, I felt someone tap my wrist lightly:

"Xiamen, what are you thinking? How did you say that you stopped staring at me after you settled the matter together?..." Lanlan asked me.

Oops, I was so focused on thinking that I forgot I was looking at her.

I blushed a little, and hurriedly retracted my gaze:

"It's nothing, I just suddenly realized that we all drank a lot of wine last night. It would be dangerous if we didn't get away in the end. We can't drink like this next time."

In order to ease the burden of Jiang Qi's death, and to get rid of my worries about the future of the two of us, I tried to lighten the topic.

"Yeah, I'm really tired to let you go home when you're drunk." Jiang Yilan said bluntly.

My memory disappeared after I went out. I tried hard to recall what happened at that time, and while thinking, I asked her:

"Did I get terribly drunk last night? Did I say anything terribly drunk?"

"Yes." Jiang Yilan thought for a while and said seriously.

"It's not something scary, is it?" I was a little embarrassed.

"You said..." She paused, then looked out the window thoughtfully, "Do you really want to listen..."

"Did you say something difficult to say? Something embarrassing? Tell a dirty joke?"

"...Let's forget about Xia Tian, ​​it's not important."

"what……"

My heart became tense because of her reaction, and my five fingers turned back and forth on the glass cup that still had traces of milk on it.

I am too familiar with her, her expression, her tone, all hinted at what happened last night.

It must be that I said something bad that made her unwilling to mention it and adopt such an evasive attitude.

I suddenly felt terrified, and the desperately suppressed emotions began to beat my heart repeatedly.Don't be like this, I decided not to change our relationship, but yesterday I did something to change the relationship?

I try to joke, try to come up with the answer that I guess:

"It won't be a confession."

Although I am afraid, I don't believe it in my heart. I am so cowardly, and it is probably the same when I am drunk...

However, fate seemed to be against me, and I got her approval:

"……kindness."

"impossible!"

I looked at her in disbelief, and my heart was shocked. With a strong hand, the cup in my hand slipped out uncontrollably, along the smooth tabletop, towards her, towards the door of memory.

...I remembered what happened after I went out of KTV last night...

When I first came out of KTV, when I was still sane, I was still a normal Mucha.

Stepping softly, he hails a taxi and pushes Jiang Yilan into the taxi with all his strength. Afraid that she will be drunk and unable to take care of herself, he gives the name of a luxury residential area that he has heard twice and has somehow firmly remembered. The driver took her to her sister's house.

Then he was sprayed with exhaust fumes by the taxi, waved his hands foolishly, and the last sobriety was melted away by alcohol.

After that, I was completely controlled by alcohol. It wasn't that I thought I was sleeping soundly or squatting quietly by the side of the road, but that I was crazy about alcohol.

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but wiped my sweat.

It really is impossible for people to be who they imagined to be all the time.

While I can't recall exactly everything I did when I was a drunk, the things I do remember tell me that I became a drunk.

I, who burps every step of the way, not only sang loudly, but also wanted the applause of the crowd.He shamelessly kicked a stray dog ​​who slept while listening to music without talking, and complained that he couldn't feel the enthusiasm of the audience. Then, relying on his martial arts skills, he took a super long iron The stick smashed a row of street lamps, feeling satisfied that I have completed the treatment of turning off the lights on one street, and I am ready to return to the scene-go to the next street.

It was also at this moment that Jiang Yilan, who had been sent off, came back in the taxi just now.

"Xiamen, you bastard, you let me go alone, what do you do by yourself?"

Unbelievable voice, I looked at the taxi parked next to me, blinked hard at the rolled down window, and said the sentence in fragments: "Money, money... not enough, only the money for one person to take the car, We came out in a hurry, bag, didn’t take the bag.”

Drunk people who have no energy are usually involuntary and their logic is confused. I actually don't know what I was thinking at the time. I actually wanted to walk home by myself...

She got out of the car and came to pull me.

I wondered strangely, she drank a lot of wine before, and she was also drunk when she came out with me, how could she suddenly be so sober and have strength.

She lifted me up, and I turned my head to see her rolled up sleeves, and the bruises on her exposed arms became more serious. When I looked carefully, there were still a string of teeth marks oozing blood.

"Jiang Yilan, are you stupid!"

"Driver, it's still the same place as I said just now." She savagely stuffed me into the taxi without leaving any room for negotiation.

"I don't want to go to your sister's house with you, I want to go back to myself—" Before I finished yelling, my mouth was covered.

“&*(@&呼呵#*[email protected]#”

"Nijia&*&#*￥I4834"

You know, covering your mouth is a way of ignoring your human rights and right to speak. At that time, I was very angry when I was drunk without logic and wanted to make trouble.

In my opinion, the most excessive thing at that time was that she ignored me, covered my mouth and chatted nonsense with the driver.That uncle is probably a fan of Jiang Qi, wake up, she is not Jiang Qi, please let her talk to me.

But, the driver definitely doesn't know.

Then, I had nothing to do for a long time. When I was drunk or bored, I would get lonely easily. I wanted to do ridiculous things. I became like a child, wanting what I can’t get. If you don’t let me talk, I will He just wants to talk, wants to take revenge, and wants to say something that is not shocking.

Did you say something hard to say?Embarrassing words?Tell dirty jokes?Ten thousand mud horses in my heart ran towards me, and I said everything at that time...

Wanting to talk, I tried my best to break away her hand covering my mouth, and started talking nonsense, I don't remember the jokes, but I remember when the driver was too young. He looked back at me several times.

It was probably too embarrassing, Jiang Yilan ignored me.

But in the eyes of a drunk person like me at that time, this was the treatment that made me feel particularly wronged. She ignored me, and ignored me from the beginning to the end.

It's easy for drunk people to make trouble for no reason. I'm a person who doesn't know why when I'm drunk.

What's even more inexplicable is that at that time, my emotions became more and more like a lovelorn. I don't know if it was because my reason was completely swallowed up at that time, so I just let my thoughts run wildly to the past that I least wanted.Alas, I have to pay back sooner or later when I come out to mess around. The emotions that I endured and finally suppressed in college finally burst five times and ten times.

However, the crazy horse of memory is still running. When I was in tears, I couldn't pull it back. I ran through the college days when I witnessed my cowardice, and ran back to the even sadder junior high school. The era when I was the most ignorant and hurt.

I have always been mindful, I know, I still remember what she said...

"Musia, stay away from me, you are gay, you are a pervert." I will never forget the eyes of that person in junior high school.

Rumors like fire are burning through all the places where I exist. I seem to be able to see my blushing face when I was young.

I know what's in the whispers, what a casual but malicious affirmation, how easy it is for children to scare people, how easy it is for children to believe bizarre rumors, and never ask for proof.

"Tsk... Mu Xia actually thinks that way about Chengqing, it's so disgusting..."

The pointer of the time axis of memory moved to the beginning, and the cold chirp was still so clear.

The disdain from the mouth and eyes of others pierced me to pieces.

I don't want to listen, don't listen...

The emotions brought by the memory wanted to vent elsewhere, so I struggled, not wanting to say a complete sentence, not wanting others to hear, look at, and be shocked.

When I was drunk, I smiled, like a saying, speaking the truth after drinking, and blew myself up to Jiang Yilan like a fool:

"Homosexuality, I used to hate this word so much, but it was still picked up by Chengqing. I'm a pervert. Jiang Yilan, I liked you like a thief. The sky was dark and I didn't dare to say anything. Qin Yue called and told me, You go out on a date and let me stop occupying you, yes, dating, how can my friend have a reason to stop, how dare my friend tell you what I think about you who are going on a date with a man, you can only be good, good, good, No problem, please take good care of her."

I don't want to recall, the two past memories, whether it's her or you, are like a ridiculous story, with an unexpected beginning and end.

In junior high school, I once wanted to be friends with another person with the purest good intentions. There is really no cover for the youthful emotions. What I think is just like what I said. There is nothing shady, but some people's hearts are in a damp and dark corner. That person doubts the light and can't see the light, so disliking is not the worst, but wanton trampling and vivid slander are the nightmare.

In the days that followed, I avoided these three words for fear. On the contrary, the same sex was more terrifying than the opposite sex. Who would say that the fangs of youth did not stab at their own kind.

However, what was born out of nothing at that time, when I came to university and met you, it may not be calm for you.

Sometimes, I wonder if God is playing tricks on me, and the false shadows turn into heavy darkness.I struggled, no one wants to admit that rumors that have done harm have become reality.

But there is no way, if a person's frowns and smiles appear in your eyes frame by frame, if you find that your heartbeat is deafening every time because of her, you have no way to escape.

Therefore, besides blind love and entanglement, more time can't help but look forward to, hoping that your mood is one ten-thousandth of the same as mine.

But I was wrong, right.What the secret love magnifies is just the pink bubble that I personally think about, and its color is just transparent in your eyes.

I used to be a little bit confused and thought it was true.During the serious illness, the weak body, the strong courage, the day when I mustered up all the courage to want to confirm...

Qin Yue's call came at an inopportune time.

It was probably at that moment that all my sanity came back, and I remembered the hints you gave intentionally or unintentionally.

You said, Xia Tian, ​​I never thought of liking girls.

You said, in summer, we might get too close.

You said, we can be so good, probably because neither of us has a boyfriend.

Yes, I have to admit, have to admit.Regardless of whether there is Qin Yue or not, before my illness, before I was admitted to the hospital because of my stomach, you had already started to try to alienate me as quietly as possible.

I don't know whether it was too sad and wanted to sleep through it, or the hypnotic effect of the alcohol finally took effect. I finally fell asleep slowly in the memory, and I fell asleep until today.

Now I recall my last drunken murmur, the words have drifted away, and I only remember her surprised but still beautiful face.

Facing Jiang Yilan who was sitting across from me now, I covered my face in embarrassment when I remembered everything, I couldn't believe that I became like that when I was drunk last night, did those things, and confessed myself.

"...I actually went crazy like this last night..."

"...Did you go crazy last night?"

She caught the cup that I had slid over, gripping so tightly, so hard to be precise, that her knuckles turned white.

The bread on the plate was destined to be unswallowable, and I looked at her with a feeling of utter death.

"Well... Isn't it crazy enough to sell yourself? I admit, I used to like you, I liked you when I was in college. "

My tone was very much like that of a real-life criminal.

However, she did not throw down the bamboo stick for torture.

I saw her loosen her hand holding the cup slightly, and I guess she should be relieved.

But she was silent for a while, and suddenly asked me softly: "What about now?"

My heart was beating wildly.She asked this to confirm whether I still have any thoughts about her, is it because I want to kill the weeds?

Some people say to love someone honestly, but for me, falling in love with her means giving up honesty.

Yes, I used to think that love should be honest, but honesty is the sharpest knife. The past and the future do not allow me to answer this question casually. I think of Jiang Qi’s last wish that we still have to work together. I think I know What is the most balanced answer.

I looked at her, but didn't look into her eyes: "Who hasn't suffered from hormones in their youth, don't worry, I will never let you suffer from it again."

The author has something to say:

Add some snacks to pave the way, change some words