The villain's non-scientific feeding plan

Meng Zhe was sprawled in the bath, thinking about life.

The hot spring water came from the depth of the ground, it was so hot that it was hot, and the whole bathroom was filled with steam, which made Meng Zhe dizzy. His mind was full of Chang Xiao at one time, and the magic palace at another, all in a mess. In the end, I felt like I was back in the university classroom for a moment. The bald old professor was reading the PPT slowly. The blackboard was full of modulation and demodulation, and he and his roommate were sitting in the back row to open the blackboard.

But when he woke up, he felt that this was already a very distant memory, separated by a whole world.

He put on the middle coat hanging on the screen, knelt down and stroked Dafu's snow-white fur, turned off the bedside lamp, lay down facing Meow, and said, "Good night."

Chang Xiao meowed softly.

--good night ah.

He watched Meng Zhe grab the quilt, and raised his front paw hesitantly, as if he wanted to go over.

In fact, Meng Zhe tried to trick Dafu to sleep with him. After all, which shit-shoveling officer doesn’t have the wonderful ideal of sleeping with Wen Miao’s soft jade in his arms and putting his hands on Miaomiao’s stomach. Just struggling like a good woman who is about to be despised, she sleeps happily on Meng Zhe's chest all day long, but at night she refuses to comply with the three chastity and nine fierceness, don't want to be double-standard.

Later, Meng Zhe speculated that it might indeed be too hot in the quilt. The ancestor of the cat was a desert animal, which was resistant to cold and not heat, so he let him go.

As a result, before he closed his eyes this time, a large shadow suddenly blurred in front of his eyes. Meng Zhe looked up and saw that Dafu was squatting on his pillow, the tip of his pink and tender nose was almost touching Meng Zhe's, and his blue eyes Without blinking.

He turned sideways quickly, brushed his hair, pulled a claw to rest on his hand, and asked him, "What's wrong?"

Dafu tilted his head, hesitantly grabbed his palm, and put his whole face on it, "Meow...meow?"

——I...I want to sleep with you, can I?

Meng Zhe thought for a while and asked, "Do you want to be together?"

Dafu rubbed against him again.

--want.

This is really strange.

During the limited time Meng Zhe and his cat spent together, Dafu always regarded his bed like a scourge, and his attitude of keeping a distance made Meng Zhe wonder whether it was soft cotton wool or a sea of ​​swords and flames sleeping under his body, or whether he was sleeping on the bed. Halfway through, a red lotus hell will be directly opened on the quilt to suck the demon king down.

He sat up on the bed, put Meow on his lap through the quilt, and tapped his nose, making Chang Xiao sneezed a little, and said worriedly.

"Why are you so abnormal today, are you really scared?"

Chang Xiao stared at him for a while, then suddenly took a small step, stepped on Meng Zhe's abdominal muscles and rubbed against the edge of the quilt, kicked the quilt covering Meng Zhe's lower abdomen with his hind legs, stretched his limbs and lay down, The soft belly was pressed against his waist, spread out in all directions, put his head on his chest, rubbed against it, and let out a listless meow.

Meng Zhe scratched his chin with his hand.

For animals like cats and cats, the abdomen is an absolute forbidden zone, because touching it will make them feel that they have lost control of their bodies, and then panic. If they do this when they are not familiar with it, 100% of them will be scratched.

Meng Zhe's chest and abdomen have been under the quilt just now, and the temperature is definitely higher than the temperature that ordinary cats like. Under normal circumstances, Meow would never stick his abdomen to this place.

He was even more worried, and gently pressed his collapsed little ears. Dafu was not lying on an ordinary face. His head was hard on Meng Zhe's chest, and half of his face was squeezed together, with a gloomy expression, as if he really I'm not in a hurry.

Meng Zhe couldn't help but sat up straight, put his arms around him, and asked softly, "What's the matter? You're so scared."

Chang Xiao rubbed against Meng Zhe and shook his head, then meowed dejectedly.

— not afraid.

He lowered his head, thinking a little gloomily, "I'm thinking, what will you do to me when I come to see you tomorrow as Chang Xiao?"

Although this is a question, in fact, Chang Xiao knows it well in his heart. Although he doesn't know why Meng Zhe treats a cat with no merits so kindly, the Mozun is not a kind and good person. It can be seen from his attitude, after all, a small mistake made the number one witch under Mozun's seat afraid to be like that, how strict the Mozun's rules will be, I can't even imagine.

In Mozun's eyes, Chang Xiao was tantamount to running away privately. The answer to how a ruthless person would deal with a fugitive who hated him so much was too obvious.

Meng Zhe was completely unaware of this.

He was still reassuring indiscriminately as Chicken and Duck said, "It's okay, it's okay, if we turn around and worship in the Valley of the Medicine King, we'll settle down, and we'll be done with the little fish, don't be afraid anymore."

——Mozun, the domineering swordsman with long hands and long legs, in order to coax his cat, he frantically added modal particles to his sentences, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Jiao, he can take the preschool teacher qualification certificate test without a teacher, and he can use common redundancies in early childhood education such as 'eat rice' and 'eat fruit'.

At this moment, Chang Xiao couldn't help but have a sliver of hope in his heart. He lay on Meng Zhe's warm abdomen and tried to wrap his short arms around him. One-half, so he rubbed up in anger, all the way to his shoulder.

——Now I can finally hug my neck.

Meng Zhe rubbed his master's head sideways, "What's the matter?"

Chang Xiao wanted to ask him for a moment, "If I told you that Chang Xiao is Dafu, would you be willing to treat me with one ten-thousandth of Dafu?"

As soon as this idea came up, he denied himself, "The Demon Lord wants to raise a cat. There are so many people in the world who are prettier than me, so why would he like a beast that is neither a human nor a cat?"

He lowered his head, and lay back on his knees, "I don't need to talk about it, so that when I think of me in the future, I'm still the first disciple of Yipin Pavilion, and I won't be some dirty liar pretending to be shameful and pretending to be a fool."

At this time, Meng Zhe was slowly stroking along the fur on Dafu's back, rambling indiscriminately, trying to appease his depressed master.

Chang Xiao put one ear on his chest, Mozun's heartbeat was steady and clear, and the warmth of his fingers spread along his back, and the whole environment was filled with peace and softness that made meow's whole body comfortable.

But at the same time, rationally told him clearly how the owner of the hand with callused fingertips on his back took life and death, and how he tortured the officials so severely that his close subordinates were trembling, and the rumors were terrified. .

——How can there be a person who combines cruelty and tenderness so wonderfully?

So he broke the jar and thought, "I don't care, I will talk about tomorrow, anyway, I will sleep like this tonight."

Seeing that Dafu finally fell asleep, Meng Zhe couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.

He let his master sleep crookedly on his belly. In fact, after being carefully raised by the shit shovel officer these days, this cub, which was only a little big when he picked it up, was already a bit heavy, but Meng Zhe didn't dislike it. , On the contrary, there is a strange sense of accomplishment that my family has a cat that has just grown up, and I am very satisfied.

The only bad thing is that Miaomiao is just pressed on the heart, so Meng Zhe, who is wearing a full-scale large size, is invulnerable to all poisons, dreamed of ghosts pressing the bed.

The scene in the dream is quite inexplicable.

At the beginning, I saw a vast expanse of white fog. At the end of the fog, there was a long bridge. The water flowing under the bridge was gentle. The texture of the water was slightly blurred and repeated, which was quite similar to the 3D textures of domestic web games.

Meng Zhe thought dazedly, "Which game is this on Steam? Did I buy it during the Black Friday sale?"

He picked up the keyboard and pressed f to explore, only to hear a ding sound on the bridge, and a golden light appeared. He fixed his eyes and saw that there was only an old woman holding a broken bowl, standing there muttering, without any movement, quite like a game The kind of npc in the movie that pokes and moves, and only has one line.

Meng Zhe walked in and saw that the old lady had an online game cursor on her head, which said Meng Po LV.100.

"This is still a national style horror game." He thought.

As a result, at this time, he suddenly felt a little light on the top of his head, and when he looked up, there was also a cursor on his head, which said Meng Zhe LV.1.

Then this action did not know which button was triggered. The full-level NPC Meng Po turned her head and saw Meng Zhe, the trumpet of Xinshou Village, who was squatting on the bridge. Her eyes lit up, and she rushed over to spit at him, angrily Said, "Day/You are a fairy, it is you who made my old lady punish the whole class, how come you tm reincarnated and don't know how to drink soup?"

Meng Zhe thought to himself that this prefecture is quite powerful. Not only did he recruit Meng Po from Sichuan, but he also started clocking in full time. He reckoned that the paperless office in the prefecture would soon be realized, but he was not afraid at all, and even planned to become a relative with Meng Po.

"Auntie, don't arrest me. My surname is also Meng. Maybe there is a mother-in-law and a descendant in our world?"

Po Meng said, "Oh, look at the top of your head. Your surname is Meng?"

Meng Zhe looked up, and the cursor actually twitched, and turned into Song Zhixuan LV.100 in front of him, but he didn't feel that there was anything wrong, on the contrary, he became more confident.

He said, "I'm also LV.100, and you're also LV.100. I'm a swordsman, the one who's invincible at the same level, can you beat me?"

The npc was so angry that he weighed the strength of the enemy and himself, and left angrily.

Meng Zhe was puzzled, and continued to move forward. Generally, the first NPC encountered in the game took on the important task of enlightening the protagonist. As a result, this one didn't say anything about the gameplay, and he was directly sent to the full level. Zhang changed his name card, which made him wonder if a cheat had been activated.

He didn't take two steps, but at the end of the bridge, there was still this person standing behind the thick fog.

Meng Zhe looked at him from the side, and the man was clearly a gentleman with black hair and snow skin, but his eyes were as beautiful as the blue sea, just like Meng Zhe's cat.

"No." He tapped his head. "Have I ever raised a cat? I wish I hadn't had time to pick up my master."

Meng Zhe took a closer look and found Chang Xiao LV.0.5 written on the top of the man's head

He couldn't help slandering, "Which stupid company made this game? I played online games from 2006's "Words" to 2018's "One Dream Jianghu". "Ancient Sword III", I have read all over Netease and Tencent at home and abroad, and I have never seen anyone making a game with a rating of 2007."

He doesn't know whether this 0.5 brother is a player or an npc has a bug. He kindly wants to remind the brother sitting on the bridge that the bottom is the rolling river of forgetfulness. As soon as Chang Xiao raised his eyes, Meng Zhe of LV.0.5 couldn't move.

He thought, "This is too pretty."

This person has unique eyebrows and bright eyes, a pair of bottomless eyes without sadness or joy, he is born noble and beautiful, his long hair can be tied up and draped behind his head.Ordinary people say that the beauty of a person under the lamp is because of the hazy beauty. This person's eyebrows are blurred in the mist, leaving a beautifully shaped chin. In the haze, there is a bit of fragility and etherealness Come.

Meng Zhe thought: If you want to hang a sign in a brothel, you will have to pay a sky-high price, and I don't know if Mozun broke his fortune and couldn't afford it.

However, the moment this person raised his eyes, the aura around him changed.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise at first, then it seemed that a smile appeared on the corners of his eyes and brows, and then his lips curled up. He opened his hands to Meng Zhe and said, "I want to hug."

Almost without thinking, Meng Zhe directly carried Chang Xiao off the bridge, and even wrapped his arms around the stone sculpture, exchanging a long kiss.

——Creamy, as sweet as that ice-skin-wrapped blueberry mousse Daifuku.

Then His Majesty the Mozun belatedly realized what he was doing, and suddenly became agitated.

Meng Zhe woke up stiffly from the bed, like a thief, looked around quietly, then furtively pulled back the quilt, glanced at his pants with half-closed eyes, was shocked for a moment, dripping with cold sweat.

His first reaction was scum, the second reaction was my scum, and the □□ should be my ass.

Is there anything more crushing than a straight man dreaming of kissing the same sex as a solo mother?Yes, you kissed the same sex, not only did you not feel that there was a problem, but you woke up in the morning and found that your pants were not right.

If his cell phone was still with him, Meng Zhe should open Zhihu immediately and ask passionate questions.

——Do young straight boys dream of kissing the same sex?

Then he should type these words with trembling fingers in the problem description area:

As in the title, I am a single dog, at the age of youth and vigor, I just stole the full-level account of the boss (crossed out), and inherited hundreds of millions of property, I have an enemy who can be regarded as a stranger, he is alone On the one hand, he hates me, but he is very good-looking, especially good-looking. We had no intersection at first, but I suddenly dreamed that he had eyes like my cat, and he was very beautiful. Then he wanted me to hug him, so I hugged him Yes, we even tongue kissed, may I still be straight?

Question added: I woke up in the morning and my pants were wrong.

He could even imagine the various replies.

——Thank you for the invitation. I am in Mongolia. I just got off the aircraft carrier. I am interested in it. I have disappeared.The answer is that the subject is not a straight man, next one.

——Thank you for the invitation, I am in the United States, I just got married, my family has billions of dollars, and I have a handsome guy to kiss me, please wake up, let's get up and move bricks.

——Emphasised three times in a row that he is good-looking, the taste of trying to cover up is too strong, I think the respondent is not a straight man.

A barrage of bullets flew through Meng Zhe's mind uncontrollably—the former Meng Zhe was dead, and now I am Niu Hulu, a crooked man, Meng Zhe.

He couldn't control it for a moment and dropped the quilt.

"Go away!"

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Recommend a book for cubs:

"Accept Yourself" - [US] Albert Ellis