Bear Diary

Sunday, March 2010, 4

As Ching Ming is approaching, the family will inevitably be chaotically busy for a while, and I worry about this time of year.These two days, while recuperating from illness, I wanted to smooth over this headache, but in the end I had an unexpected emotion.

After I knew that I was gay and had the conditions to surf the Internet, I began to actively contact websites in this area. I remember that the first one was Sunbelt.At that time, the forums were very clean and simple, and at most they just chatted ambiguously.However, it was the first time I could talk about such a "taboo" topic with someone, which still made me very excited.Later, the novelty passed, and gradually I stopped going to the forum. I added a local group on QQ, and when I was bored, I would watch the chats in the group, but I never spoke.

In fact, I am not such a low-key person. In reality, I am regarded as a focus-level person at gatherings.What shocked me was the aesthetic standard in the G circle, it seems that a handsome guy must be thin.Helplessly, I have never been familiar with "thin" since I was a child. After many blows, I have no choice but to be like this... It can be said that when I was at my lowest point, I felt that I might be like this for the rest of my life.

At this time, I knew the existence of "bear circle", and it turns out that there can be another aesthetic.Inside I became active and felt enlightened.And a little childishly began to despise monkeys in a vengeful way.Just when I thought my happiness must be in the bear circle, Serena appeared.Although I have always emphasized that he is a baboon, no matter how bad he is, he can be regarded as a monkey. People who have seen him say that he is a pure monkey.No way, who told him not to grow flesh on his face.

Some things really do not depend on subjective wishes. When you want something, you can’t get it. If you don’t pursue it, it will come on your own initiative.

When I went to the company today, the boss officially announced the news of my promotion, and let H take over my current position according to my wishes.I've been looking forward to this promotion for a long time, but when it comes to this time, I'm not as excited as I imagined.

It seems to have happened when I was a child.At that time, I saw a big Transformer, and I pestered my dad to buy it for me every day. At that time, I really wanted it very much. I felt that there was nothing more important than this Transformer in the world.But that one was too expensive, and my dad never bought it for me. After a while, I gave up.Until one day, my dad brought that Transformer directly in front of me, wanting to give me a surprise, but I found that I didn't like it that much anymore.

Perhaps the important thing is not what you get, but the process of pursuit?Oh, it’s okay to zoom in on this sentence to the height of life.Some things really don't depend on subjective wishes~

Serena is at home now, and I will go to visit the grave with my aunt tomorrow morning, but I just came back from the visit today, and I have to go tomorrow.But today is the 100th day of my official relationship with Serena, I prepared a small gift for him, I hope he will like it when he comes back.

No matter how my mentality changes, my desire to cherish him and love him is real and strong, and it will not fade away.