Chasing death and chasing north

When I got home, my brother looked anxiously at the door.He was a little more surprised to see me coming, which shows that he was waiting for someone else.He won't know what the younger brother who lacks a sense of existence has just experienced. Thinking of this, I feel sad, so I can't get up the energy to deal with him.

"Erlang, what's the matter? Father went out to find someone to discuss with. I'm waiting for him." The elder brother came up to him and asked.

Sure enough, no one would listen to me if I asked them to hold Tang Yushi back. Fortunately, it's over for now.

I have already dealt with it twice, and I am physically and mentally exhausted, but beside this person in front of me, there will never be a place where I can rest.

I passed him silently and walked back to the room without making a sound. He shouted a few times from behind and then stopped without catching up.

Naturally, I won't catch up. My father is the most important and reliable person in everyone's mind. In his eyes, I can only be used as a stuffy person to confide in, and I will always be a child.

The tailor was still waiting in the anteroom, and after I told him to come back another day, I went back to the bedroom, took off my blood-stained robe, and threw myself under the quilt.

The body could not stop shrinking.

I killed a man today and lied to the emperor. Looking back, I am really scared, but it is also a wonderful experience that I have never encountered before. If I can survive the catastrophe, I can take a good look at myself.

I didn't spend a lot of time planning the method to work, and these actions can't be imagined by ordinary people, let alone done.I have this ability, even if I am a concubine and have no possibility of inheriting the family business, I don't necessarily have to follow behind my brother all my life, just to be satisfied with being able to see his back.

Afraid of being excited and exhausted, and amidst the overlapping of three emotions, I fell asleep faintly.

When I regained my consciousness, I just heard a watch drum beating outside. The maid said that my father had just come, and told me not to disturb my sleep, and then left.

While washing my face, the housekeeper came over and said warmly when he saw me, "Second Young Master, are you up? Have you slept well this time!" After that, he said that my father was waiting for me to eat together.

I was very surprised, and then I knew what this meant, and I was excited.

After the food was served, the servants left the flower hall, and only my father and son were left in the hall. This has never happened before, and I feel more ironic than being honored.

Father raised his glass. "Erlang, I respect you for my father." After speaking, he drank a full cup.

I raised my glass to greet each other, and drank silently with some reluctance.

He wanted to persuade him to drink again, and I said, "The doctor told me that I have a weak liver, so I should not drink alcohol."

He was taken aback, smiled awkwardly, took a sip and put down the glass.

"Father already knew about the matter, and was summoned by His Majesty just now."

"What is Your Majesty's holy will?" As soon as the words came out, I felt that I was too anxious. Since my father called me here, he would talk to me.

"Your Majesty thinks that you are young, so you will not be held accountable. As a father, you have no way to teach your son, and you have been fined; your elder brother has allowed your younger brother to commit murder, and you have been thinking behind closed doors for three months."

Regardless of whether the emperor was originally involved in this matter, it is now considered calm, and I am relieved. "Where is Tang Yushi?"

"Tomorrow, the decree is to send him to Dongdu to build a palace. The enmity is settled, we are prepared, and we are not afraid of him, a mere bastard." Father smiled proudly, not at all like his usual honest and honest appearance.

I have long understood how tolerant this man is. Is he showing his true colors now as a gesture of kindness towards me?

"That's good." I held up the chopsticks and put many dishes into the bowl, and I took a big bite of the rice.I used to eat fast, not to mention I haven't eaten a grain of rice for a day, so I'm really hungry.

I can feel my father watching with a smile, but he doesn't care much.I didn't want to get his respect in the first place, and I didn't do these things for this family, let alone to please him.

"Your Majesty said that in this letter of alliance, Zhao Gong's signature is old traces, but your name is as black as new. I'm afraid you added it yourself after you got such a thing. You knew that the catastrophe was coming, and you could have left by yourself, or even Did you take the letter of alliance to ask for credit? Your Majesty said that he envies me for having such a son."

Very good, you have one more place to make him jealous, is that something to be happy about?I secretly mocked in my heart.

I have heard many people say that the emperor's father liked my father very much since he was a child, and he always liked to compare his father with the prince of the same age. Every time he concluded that his son was not as good as the other, the emperor hated this cousin since he was a child.

Afterwards, the two grew up slowly, and it was not uncommon for the prince to secretly compare himself with my father. When my father was young, he was not as calm as he is now, and there are countless things that offended him intentionally or unintentionally.

The empress dowager was still there two years ago, and she could hold down the emperor. During the years when the empress dowager was seriously ill, my father felt that the situation was not good, and he became obedient. A live loach that couldn't be caught no matter what, made the emperor very depressed.

Perhaps because of this experience, the father and mother would rather raise their elder brother to be a poor man than to let him stand out and be hated by others.But after today, maybe I have a different idea.

Seeing that I didn't speak, my father probably thought that I was wronged by him before I got angry, so he stood up and walked behind me, gently pressed my shoulder, and said softly: "I didn't know that you would do it for this family. This kind of situation. I didn’t treat you well before. It’s because of my father. Your eldest brother is mediocre. Fortunately, you have such a younger brother who is willing to work hard for him. I hope you will always help him more. In the future, our Sun family will rely on you There are two people."

Resisting the urge to break free, I bowed my head and said respectfully: "Parents who are everywhere, you must not blame yourself. Helping your elder brother is what a child should do. Father, don't worry."

The so-called oath has always been just a tactic to delay the attack. Even if I am safe, how can you not lie to me.But after hearing my assurance, my father was obviously relieved.He returned to his seat and sat down, talking to me about his childhood.

He has too many children. Among the fragmentary family happiness, I am afraid that few of them happened between me and him. I don't need to refute, I pretend to listen with interest.

I don't know if he thinks of himself too great, or thinks of me as too naive.It has been so many years, even if he really wants to improve the relationship between father and son, I may not be able to accept it, not to mention that he only started to show his favor after he discovered that this son was unexpectedly useful.

Since he wants to act, I might as well dance with him.

Listening to my father spitting and talking about taking me to catch fish when I was two years old, I returned from my mind wandering and remembered one thing.

"By the way, how should He Yin deal with it?"

"The maiko? I have sent someone to persuade her to leave the capital and hide her name from now on."

From the murderous intent in his father's eyes, it can be seen that things are not as simple as he said, and the person who left the capital might not be a living person.

"Brother loves her very much, will you..."

"That prodigal son caused the trouble himself, and he worked hard to clean up the mess. Does he still dare to ask me for someone?"

"……Yes."

That's not what I mean, I'm asking if the eldest brother will feel sad and resent him.Father can't even understand this.

And the elder brother was also equally indifferent, and never mentioned the woman he had been so attached to since then.

Maybe it would be better for me to just watch him from the sidelines all my life.

After the emperor issued a decree to punish his father and elder brother, Marquis Changqing, together with a group of veterans and relatives, impeached his father and other colleagues for various reasons ranging from being disrespectful to the emperor to not rinsing his mouth after meals.

One day the emperor summoned the dignitaries of the court into the palace to give a banquet, and said something that the monarch and his ministers should be united and avoid infighting. All the people were forced to shake hands and talk happily. And stop.

As for his father, instead of committing further crimes, the emperor entrusted him with the responsibility of guarding the capital during his latest tour.Although the temptation is obvious, the father sees the tricks, and there are no unexpected disturbances.

After that incident, my status in the family has skyrocketed, the number of servants has nearly doubled, and food and clothing are much better than before. Needless to say, my aunts and siblings, even my mother is more expensive when she sees me. three-point kindness.I just find it ridiculous, not as funny as my elder brother's awkward attitude of being grateful but unwilling to get closer to me because of shame.

In late spring and April, I married Mrs. Li, and I also married Zhai Mingyuan's younger sister.I repeatedly expressed that I might not be able to treat my wives and concubines well, but under the constant insistence of Changqinghou and his sons, and my father's optimism, Zhai, the daughter of Changqinghou who is more senior than his wife, was sent to the Duke's mansion and became my wife. side room.

It's not that I can't hug women, women are also very nice sometimes.The two wives are not bad in character. I don't love them, and I don't particularly favor or treat either of them badly. On the contrary, they get along well because of this.

After the incident with He Yin, the elder brother restrained himself a lot, and he spent more time at home, reading and writing in the study when he had nothing to do.Most of the meetings between our brothers are to drag the family and lead the family, talking about innocuous parental gossip, life is like an old well, and we used to have such ambitions, but now we don't think it is necessary.Even if I fight for an extremely human minister, what I can't get, I will never get.

He and I have our own families and live a stable life. What's more, I don't have to work hard for food, clothing, housing and transportation. In a year or two, I will lobby like him from my family to fill a job, and my life will be mediocre.

I'm not yet 20 years old, but my mood is almost the same as that of a middle-aged person.

Only when people sat alone in the courtyard in the dead of night did they dare to admit the fact that their longing for him never ceased. No matter how mediocre he was in front of them, this obsession became a demon and could never dissipate.The strange thing is that he didn't have the urge to express his feelings, but only imagined all kinds of him in his heart like self-blasphemy.

Sometimes I can't help but suspect that I don't really have the so-called love for him. It's just that I can't love others because of my cold nature, so I use my elder brother who will never get any response as a dream to prove something.

Lying next to my wife at night, I also wondered, could all myths dissipate like a cloud of smoke as long as I had physical contact with him?But I can only think about it, how could such a thing come true.

If the days continue to live in such a stable way, most of the feelings in my heart that cannot be expressed will be brought underground.

Times are getting worse.

Officials are reckless and heavy taxes are imposed, the people are in dire straits, powerful people from all over the country rise up, the emperor's country is in turmoil, and the rebellion is swaying, but he starts a long tour, while his father is ordered to garrison Dingyang.

Although Dingyang is the first big city to the north of the capital, it is not very dangerous in view of the current situation. The emperor asked his father to garrison here, saying that it was to prevent the Hexi rebels from attacking, but in fact, he did not want to see him in the patrol team , and don't worry about keeping him in the capital for a long time.

Unexpectedly, not long after my elder brother and I arrived in Dingyang with our father, news came that King Beidi led his army into the pass.

The land of Beidi is rich in grasslands, and the people live by herding horses. They live in poverty but are extremely brave. They used to invade the Central Plains almost every year to plunder, but since they negotiated peace with the late emperor, there has been no war for more than ten years.

This year's "Sui Ci" was shipped just last month, and no one thought that they would raise troops at this time.Recently, the imperial court has been concentrating on dealing with rebellions in various places, the border defenses have been relaxed, and the other side has come suddenly, the situation is quite unfavorable.

Sure enough, it was only on the first day that they learned about Beidi's invasion, and the news on the fourth day was that they went to dozens of cities in succession to press against the capital.

Although Beidi's soldiers are strong and brave, but the capital's guards are heavily guarded, and they will certainly be able to resist for a long time.But the Dingyang defenders only have [-] people, and most of them are recruits who have not yet fought. The battle report will be sent to the emperor first, and then he will issue an edict to the kings of the various places. .

Father has been anxious like an ant on a hot pot for the past few days, constantly discussing with his deputy and Dingyang Ling. Apart from digging deep trenches, building fortifications, and repairing books to ask for help, he can only wait quietly.

In order to show his determination to live and die with the people, my father sent me and my eldest brother to guard the north and south gates.He knew how to be a man on weekdays, so the people were even more grateful. Not only was the food and clothing continuously sent to the army, but the men from every household also brought dry food to help defend the city.

Sure enough, before the king's division could gather, Beidi's army arrived soon.

I looked down from the top of the north gate, and saw the densely packed burly soldiers and tall horses, which made people tremble with fear.No matter how the other party yelled and scolded, my father would never come out of the closed city. When the enemy army wanted to attack the city, we kept throwing stones, pouring boiling water, cutting off the ladders and shooting people down.

In the past, when I killed a person, I would be in constant fear, but now that I cut down the Beidi people who ascended the city until their flesh and blood flew, not only did I not have any fear at all, but my heart was filled with joy.

This night, we repelled the opponent's attack again, and it was dawn in a blink of an eye. After handing over with the sergeant who came to change the defense, I was ready to go back to rest.When I got to the front of the house, a team guarding the south gate was rushing over, shouting: "The eldest son opened the city and went out to fight them!" While shouting, he went into the main hall to look for his father.

I was so anxious that I hurriedly turned the horse's head and galloped towards the south gate.

The gate of the city was still closed, and when I went up to the top of the city, I saw a group of men and horses dressed in our army outside the city, the number was about five or six hundred, fighting and fighting in the enemy's formation, the man riding the white horse under the flag was clearly my brother!

I hurriedly called a school lieutenant to ask what happened.

The school captain said: "Not long after the eldest son took over the defense, the Beidi people shouted and scolded at the city, saying that my father is shrinking...that, the son is also shrinking...that, knowing that they will not attack here, they sent their son to defend the city. I... uh, greedy for life and afraid of death, and trying to win the hearts of the people, ahem, extremely shameless... The eldest son was furious, so, he took five hundred brothers out of the city."

He was afraid that I would get angry, so he spoke hesitantly. In fact, I was paying attention to the battle outside the city, so I didn't have time to think about it.The enemy army came from the north, and both sides had heavy troops at the north gate, so I asked my father for a job as a guard there, so that I could teach my brother to guard the relatively safe south gate.

There are indeed not many troops at the south gate of Beidi. Our soldiers who dare to go with my brother are all brave and skilled fighters.Seeing my elder brother with a knife in his hand, beheading a figure dressed as a general on the other side under the horse, I felt a little relieved, but I saw the Beidi army fighting and retreating, getting farther and farther away from the original fighting place.

Going in that direction is a valley, I was startled to be cheated, ordered people to call Jin, and yelled for them to stop, my brother was in love with the battle, so he didn't care about other things, so I flattered my horse and chased after him with my men.

How could this man be so reckless!

I ordered twenty followers and shouted, "Follow me!"

Everyone shouted "yes" and wanted to follow me downstairs.

"Don't go." My father just led someone up to the tower, and I was grabbed by the arm before I reached the steps. "They just want to take hostages, and they won't kill Zhao Gong. We can have a long-term plan."

"If the plan fails, you will negotiate with them and offer the city to surrender?"

His father would never have the courage to live and die with Dingyang regardless of his son's life. There are many guards who have always abandoned the city. He fled back to the capital and fined his salary and cut his noble. But how will the people in the city face the army of tigers and wolves? ?

Seeing that my father was at a loss for words, I suddenly waved his hand away without holding back any strength. He took two steps back before holding onto the wall and standing still.

"Walk!"

Under my coercion, the city gate opened a gap, and I rushed out first, followed by twenty riders galloping out of the city, and the city gate immediately closed behind me.

After a short drive, I saw them in front of them from a distance, and the two armies were facing each other. When I saw the big flag of the Beidi Chinese Army, I couldn't help but feel a little bit in my heart.The king of Beidi actually ambushed here himself, this time I am afraid it will be worse.

Someone on the other side shouted: "The difference in strength between the two sides is too great, the prince should surrender quickly."

The elder brother yelled angrily: "You treacherous barbarian, you will never surrender even if you die, come forward and fight me if you have the ability!"

There was laughter in Beidi's army, and a tall middle-aged man rode his horse forward, saying: "Whether the mere hairy boy will get my king to do it himself, I will come to teach you the brilliant moves of the Central Plains!"

This man's weapon is a long spear, and his elder brother uses a plain knife. The long soldier is facing the long soldier. Stabbing the opponent's lower abdomen, the man held down the blade with the handle of the gun, and the point of the gun pointed upwards, as if he was going to pick his brother's face.

In a hurry, I bent my bow and set up an arrow, aiming at the opponent's wrist and shooting. In my haste, my aim was not good, and the arrow body only sank into the opponent's upper arm.

The man wailed, but he didn't let go of the weapon, and because of this, there was a commotion in Beidi's army.

"Erro!"

"Brother, let's go!"

"But……"

The noise of the Beidi army started again, and the front team had already started to run, trying to encircle the brother's army.

I shouted angrily: "Are you waiting to die? Don't run away!"

The entourage moved ahead of him, but the eldest brother saw that it was irreversible, so he had no choice but to run wildly.

The Beidi army immediately pursued. I reined in the horse [-] paces away, reinstalled the arrow, and aimed at Beidi Wang who had sung the string under the big banner. The arrow was like a shooting star and penetrated into the chest.

The general nearby was terrified, and hurriedly got off his horse to check. I aimed at his back and shot another arrow, which hit him again.

The [-] followers also acted in accordance with the law, feathers and arrows flew, and Beidi's archers seemed to be still at the north gate, and they were unable to fight back for a while, and suddenly fell into chaos.

At this time, the eldest brother and the soldiers under his command had rushed to the vicinity, I waved and retreated with them.The Beidi army was chaotic for a while before starting to pursue them. Their actions were chaotic, and they trampled on each other after a while.

Father led a large group of troops out of the city to meet them, and the two sides fought in a scuffle, causing numerous casualties to the enemy.Later, news came that the other person I shot was the second son of King Beidi, who died on the spot, and King Beidi was seriously injured and died at night.

The next day, Beidi's army retreated in a hurry, and his father sent people out of the city to bring back the supplies and food they had discarded. There was no need to worry about supplies in the city for a while.

The brother's left leg was slightly injured, but it was not serious, and he was recuperating in the room.After everything has been dealt with, I will visit.He glanced at me and turned his head to the wall.

"Is it too late to realize guilt now?"

Standing in front of the bed, I could only see the back of his head and the shoulders in the white jacket. I didn't want to suppress the anger I had accumulated for a long time, so I couldn't help but sneer.

He turned his head abruptly. It turned out that a section of his temple hair was cut off during the battle. I was in a hurry before, but I only realized it now. I couldn't help feeling angry and distressed.

"If you had hid at home earlier and slept soundly, why would you be in such a mess?"

"Erlang, you... are you angry with me?"

He didn't look frightened, but was very shocked, as if my anger at him was more worthy of attention than the reason for the anger itself, and I was even more angry when I saw it.

"If you want to die, you can just die. Don't you feel uneasy if you take the lives of 500 people for nothing?"

He murmured, "I... I just got dizzy with anger."

"You can't understand such a simple aggressive method, do you have any brains?"

"I know it's the aggressive method, but I don't think there are many of them. If you can beat them back and make a big difference, no one will laugh at you..."

"Such a big bargain is just for you to pick up. Did you come to the south to play when you thought Beidi? Even if you haven't fought a war, you have always read military books, right? Before you boasted that you admired Sun Wuzi the most. I think you are clearly Zhao Kuo's." Disciple, you are the best at talking about wars on paper, but when you are actually facing the enemy, you can’t see through such tricks. If Sun Wuzi comes back to life, he will be so angry that he will die again when he sees you."

He stared blankly at me with his mouth wide open, and I thought that as long as I was one step late, this person would leave me forever, so I didn't care about the difference between seniority and inferiority, and reprimanded him endlessly.

"The soldiers followed us to fight their lives. They didn't want to die. They didn't get military promotion and rewards. They didn't want to die. A commoner would spare his life. You belong to the family's rise and fall. You don't feel ashamed to do such a brave and foolish thing. shame?"

"Erro..."

"Don't call me that! Such a big person..."

My spittle stopped abruptly as he threw himself on me and hugged me.

"Oh, don't say it, can't I be wrong?"

The last time something happened, he also hugged me. At that time, he was trembling all over, and his frightened appearance made me feel sorry for him. But this time, the big thing will be decided, he swayed his body against me, like a child acting like a spoiled child to an adult.My elder brother is in his early twenties, and it is so natural to act and say such things to my younger brother. I really don't know whether I should be shocked or overjoyed.

"Look, I hit the right shot and earned your reputation of "shooting three arrows to defeat the barbarians". The result is not very good? Okay, okay, don't be angry anymore."

I came here without going back to take a shower and change clothes. My clothes were tattered and dusty, but his satin jacket had a clean and pleasant smell of precious incense.If I were an ordinary general, I should feel sad, but I have softened my bones in spite of myself, and hung my hands around his waist without touching him.

Looking down into his begging eyes, I sighed.

"I'm not angry, I'm just worried about you."

"I understand, I understand! Don't worry, brother, I will definitely think twice next time."

He patted his chest and tapped my shoulder, but he seemed magnanimous and tolerant, so what else could I say.

"Okay, I'm going to take care of you, I'll go first... what's wrong?"

A look of pain suddenly appeared on his face. "A sore foot!"

I hurriedly helped him lie back, checked the wound to make sure there was no problem, and helped him cover him with the quilt.

"Hey, our Erlang is the best." He narrowed his eyes gradually, and the last sentence he muttered was "Erlang can also be used to deal with mother".

I pursed my lips and left the room lightly, his words kept ringing in my ears: Our Erlang is the best.Our Jiro is the best...

Not long after the great victory in Dingyang, the emperor sent a consolation envoy to praise the soldiers in Dingyang, and called his father to Jiangbei Palace to explain the whole story of retreating the enemy in detail.

My father packed his bags and prepared to leave the next day, but he received a letter from Chang Qinghou at noon that day.That night, my father was sick and couldn't afford it.Since Mian Sheng couldn't make it, my father sent my eldest brother to send two carts full of gold and silver to the comfort envoy, asking him to report the reason to the emperor on his behalf.

When the comfort envoy came to visit immediately after hearing the news, the bed was covered with feces and urine, and the concubine was cleaning it up in tears.The next day, my elder brother and I sent the consolation envoy away, and gave him two strings of East China Sea pearls and a Hetian jade carving half a foot high.

On the way back home, my elder brother and I rode side by side.

After walking for a while, he whispered, "Father is pretending to be sick."

I raised my eyebrows. "how to say?"

"Your Majesty has always been hostile to my father. This time my father has done a great job in defending the land. He may not be really happy. If I pass it on to my father, I am afraid that I will find an excuse to lose the title, or I will go to prison directly."

"Well, the letter from the Marquis of Changqing may be to inform you of this matter?"

My brother tapped my shoulder with a whip. "Erlang and Mingyuan are the best friends. Don't you know what's going on with my cousin?"

I knew he was blaming me for being stupid, so I smiled awkwardly: "Maybe I haven't heard from Mingyuan for a long time."

He rolled my eyes at me, and sighed: "I don't think it's a long-term solution for my father to pretend to be sick."

I echoed, "Well, Zensheng can think of a way to dispel His Majesty's suspicion of father."

He put the horse's body in front of my horse's head, and stared at me with shining eyes: "You really think so?"

It seemed he was determined to force me to say what he wanted to hear.I pursed my lips, shook my head, and said, "Everything is decided before action."

He snorted and galloped away.

I looked at the rising dust, and hesitated in my heart.

Note [-]: The banner in the army.