There is light in the deep sea

This reason is too powerful, Xie Wu weighed it in his heart, and didn't dare to ask whether it is true or not.Anyway, the room is big, and it is divided into inner and outer rooms, so nothing can happen to one person.What's more, is he a seven-foot man still afraid of a child?of course not.

With that in mind, he agreed.

Jiang Xichen got the answer, raised his eyelids to look at him, smiled silently, and turned over with his pillow in his arms in such contentment, facing the wall, and remained silent.

Xie Wu was secretly taken aback.This reaction was too obedient, and he couldn't help but ask himself if the hesitation just now seemed too villainous and wretched.

It was not yet ten o'clock at night.In their line of work, unless the work requires adjusting the biological clock, it is impossible to go to bed so early, so there are more people in the room who seem to go to bed so early, and he is a little at a loss.

After looking at Jiang Xichen anxiously for a while, he walked to the switch next to the door and asked softly, "Shall I turn off the light outside for you?"

Jiang Xichen replied sullenly: "Thank you."

Xie Wu then turned off all the lights in the outer room, then went back to the inner room lightly, and pulled his quilt to send it outside.As soon as he hugged him, he remembered the so-called "breath" - covering him with a quilt that he used, which seemed a bit ambiguous.Instead, he gave up, moved a new bed from the closet, and walked outside.

Approaching the sofa, he found that Jiang Xichen was not asleep, and was drawing something on the wall with his index finger.The trajectory seems to have no rules to follow, like a child's meaningless scribbles.

Although he always calls this kid a child in his heart, but at this moment he really has a real sense of "Jiang Xichen = child".Facing this child Jiang Xichen who was clearly in a vulnerable state, he couldn't help softening his tone, and said, "I'll give you a quilt, and you'll have to cover it up at night."

Jiang Xichen replied: "Yes."

Xie Wu bent over to cover him with the quilt, tucked the corners, and felt a bit of compassion in his heart, and asked again: "Do you want to talk to me? I don't think you really intend to sleep."

But Jiang Xichen replied decisively: "No need." Then, he retracted his chin into the quilt, "Little uncle, don't come out at night, or I might scare you."

Xie Wu smiled, squatted down, and patted his shoulder through the quilt: "Don't think too much, good night."

Jiang Xichen just buried himself in the quilt and didn't respond.

The room was very quiet, Xie Wu squatted quietly watching the big dumpling on the sofa for a while, feeling mixed feelings in his heart.Naturally, there is distress, and there is a sense of responsibility and protection that gives people a sense of being an elder brother; carefully discerning, it seems that there is a little strange throbbing that seems to be burrowing into the ground, trying to touch the person in front of him.

— This is almost a matter of course.

The darkness makes people extraordinarily honest, Xie Wu didn't need to touch his conscience, he also admitted to himself: at this moment, if Jiang Xichen said something to him or asked for something, he would find it hard to refuse.

This person has been around him for so long, it would be a lie to say that he didn't think about it.But first, there was that unreasonable intuition and sense of danger in front of that kind of thought, and then it was confirmed that the brotherhood of the two was bloody, neither of which was suitable for what happened, so he had no choice but to suppress the thought. gone back.

It's a bit embarrassing to think about it, but when they opened their mouths yesterday, for Jiang Xichen, it was an end to hide-and-seek and a hurdle to cross.The future may be unsatisfactory, but he has since decided not to look back, and finally dared to say "Can I formally pursue you?" He was clearly prepared for a heavy offensive, and he was also ready to give his stepmother Lin Yi an explanation when he returned home.

But for Xie Wu, there is an extra wall and a river in front of him.Maybe he had thought about having some emotional stories with this child before, but after talking, he could only withdraw his feet.

In this way, looking at Jiang Xichen again, he felt so aggrieved that some meat was in his mouth and he couldn't eat it.This aggrieved, it doesn't matter when you don't want to.As it is now, getting closer, pulling it out and thinking about it, it's really scratching my heart and soul.

He didn't need to swallow, he also knew that his throat was extremely thirsty, and he couldn't tolerate it, it was really tormenting.

After a while, the boiling blood in the body seemed to cool down a bit.He stood up cautiously, went back to his room, and obediently followed Jiang Xichen's instructions, and closed the door; he took another bath with low temperature water, and the restlessness finally subsided.

This encounter was quite strenuous, and he didn't have time to think about it any more, and he fell asleep not long after he lay back on the bed.

Falling asleep uneasy like this brought fragmentary and chaotic dreams as always.I still dream of Lin Yi, but I no longer feel like missing my mother, and the situation is very different.

Even though he was 15 years old, he still didn't know that there was a person named Jiang Xichen in the world, who was still hurt by his first love that was not kind enough, but when he came back to comfort and accompany his mother, he was full of guilt, thinking about how not to let his mother He found that Jiang Xichen was hiding behind him, and even conceived a scene where his mother was furious, ready to turn around and protect Jiang Xichen at any time.

But Lin Yi in her dream never asked him about his shocking puppy love, didn't blame him for getting together with his younger brother, just prepared three meals for him every day, took care of the details of life, and talked with him about his thoughts topic of conversation.

"You, in the future, you have to choose the life you really want to live, no matter what you do or who you are with... Listen to yourself. If you listen to yourself, mother will listen to you."

That summer, after Lin Yi said those words, she left his life again.

"Mom—" Xie Wu suddenly opened his eyes.

The summer of this year has come, a dream intertwined with reality and memory made his brain jump wildly, and sweat oozes from the forehead.The dream dissipated quickly after opening his eyes, leaving only some deep impressions gradually, such as Jiang Xichen who needs his protection hiding behind him...

Thinking of this, he remembered where it was, what time it was now, and Jiang Xichen was just across the door, so he raised his head and looked outside, and unexpectedly found that there was light outside.

He subconsciously became nervous, grabbed his phone and checked the time, it was three o'clock in the morning.

Do you want to go out and have a look?While hesitantly thinking, he pricked up his ears to listen to the movement outside.The night was so quiet that he could easily hear the sound of writing, the friction between the tip of the pen and the paper was continuous, and there was no pause for a single word, which was unbelievably smooth.

It was just the sound of writing, but the appearance of Jiang Xichen crying inexplicably appeared in his mind - he had seen that appearance before, and at that time, his neck was still hot from those warm tears.

Thinking of this, he didn't hesitate any longer, immediately lifted the quilt and got out of bed, casually hooked up his shoes, and went to open the door if he wasn't fully dressed.

This hasty action made a lot of noise. Jiang Xichen, who was writing at the table outside, was not disturbed at all, and did not raise his head, just writing vigorously without distraction.

Xie Wu was puzzled at first, but then realized that something was wrong with this Jiang Xichen.

"Xiao Jiang?" He called out.

I thought Jiang Xichen would not agree, but unexpectedly replied, "Yes."

However, after hearing this calm and plain promise, Xie Wu became more suspicious.

He didn't rush to walk over, and looked at Jiang Xichen carefully from half a room away.After half a minute of this, Jiang Xichen still didn't stop writing, and didn't pay attention to him again. The "hmm" just now seemed to be a hallucination.

Could it be that Jiang Xichen is sleepwalking?Xie Wu thought nonchalantly, his doubts became heavier, and he tried to walk over.

Even if someone approached, Jiang Xichen still didn't give any more reaction, but stopped writing for a while when the paper in his hand was used up, and changed a piece of paper.Xie Wu frowned and looked at the paper full of words, but it was all in English, and he couldn't understand it at first glance.

He asked, "What are you writing about?"

Jiang Xichen replied: "Write a letter."

"to whom?"

"To my mother, to God, to you."

This answer sounded very sober. Xie Wu observed Jiang Xichen's expression and was sure that he was not sleepwalking or having a nightmare. He asked again: "I have mine too? What did you write to me?"

"One day, the letter will be read to you." Jiang Xichen finally paused, his eyes fell on the ground in front of the table, his expression was a little lost, and he almost whispered, "Xie Wu, you don't know anything, how important you are to me ,I am oblivious."

After saying this, he raised his head and met Xie Wu's gaze accurately, expressionless.

Xie Wu's heart shook.He had never seen such a look in Jiang Xichen's eyes, it was so quiet that there was no movement.If it is a lake, there will be no ripples on the surface of the lake; if it is a snowfield, there will be no wind in the vast expanse.The lake is dead, the snowfield is utterly dead.This is a completely still look, it cannot be said to be desperate or heavy, but there is no desire to move.

For some reason, Xie Wu suddenly felt that this was the real Jiang Xichen.The cute and obedient little milk dog, the little wolf dog waiting for an opportunity, these clever joking names are far from him.

He is a person who lives an extremely difficult life. It may be only a very thin thread that supports this beautiful skin and tall body.That thread may be broken at any time, and at that time, the beauty and straightness in front of me will no longer exist.

"Xiao Jiang..." Xie Wu looked into his eyes, feeling pain in his heart for no reason.The pain was extremely real, pulling the nerves and flesh, and the pain made him tremble a little. He wanted to hold this person in his arms, but he was afraid that he would accidentally break the thin thread in his body.In the end, he only held up that face lightly, and spoke with only breath: "Are you, unhappy?"

Jiang Xichen put down his pen, looked at Xie Wu motionlessly, and said, "Aren't you happy? I can't talk about it. I just always feel that my death is coming, especially when I think of my mother, I will be very envious. No one else Know my mother, say she is weak and commit suicide, but in fact, she is braver than anyone else. You see, I am still by her side, but she dares to... leave me and die."

Xie Wu's heart sank suddenly, and he couldn't help calling him: "Xiao Jiang, Xiao Jiang..."

Jiang Xichen said lightly: "Every time I dream of her, I always want to ask, how can I not care about the feelings of the people I care about, give up the idea that they will be sad when I die, and take that step bravely. It's hard, it's really hard, at least, now that you're here, I can't leave you behind, go right away—"

"Jiang Xichen!" Xie Wu felt pain in his heart, unwilling to hear the following words.Without even thinking about it, he pulled him into his arms and hugged him tightly.

Jiang Xichen did as he wished, and didn't say anything later.Their chests were pressed against their chests, their heartbeats mixed with their heartbeats, even so, Xie Wu still had a fear that this person would disappear from his arms.

This hug lasted for several minutes, and it was Jiang Xichen who broke the deadlock first.

He patted Xie Wu's back, and said softly: "Don't do this, I'm fine. I wanted to tell you about this incident yesterday, but I always felt it was too hypocritical, so I didn't tell you."

Xie Wu's intense tingling just now, after a few minutes of comfort passed down from body temperature, also calmed down a bit.He hesitated a little, let go of Jiang Xichen gently, stepped back half a step, looked at this person: "Then you say it now."

Jiang Xichen raised the corners of his lips very slightly, and seemed to be trying to find a normal expression and state, but he was not very successful, and only showed a bit of a wry smile: "I have long-term bipolar disorder, and when I have problems, I look like a Neuropathy. On the one hand, this may be caused by my mother, on the other hand, my long-term high-pressure work is also affected. But in general, I am not completely neurotic, don’t worry.”

"You..." Xie Wu moved his lips, thought for a while, and then asked uncertainly, "Do you often want to die?"

"Yeah." Jiang Xichen nodded, and replied calmly, "I often don't know how to live, so I always look forward to that day. But I don't have the courage to do it myself, because... I'm afraid."

What are you afraid of?Xie Wu's question came to his lips, but he stopped it again.

Jiang Xichen looked at him so intently, the answer was obvious.

No matter what you are afraid of, it is probably related to him.However, at this moment, he was not sure that he was willing to hear words that were too heavy. The things in front of him needed to be digested and sorted out.He can't be like a 15-year-old child, relying on passion and hormones to make a decision that may be regretted; at most, he can try to cross the river by feeling the stones.

"Jiang Xichen," he held his breath, then stared into the eyes of the person in front of him, and said word by word, "Give me some time about your matter, and I will seriously think about it."

Hearing this, Jiang Xichen's eyes flickered: "...are you pitying me?"

"I just don't want to pity you, so I want you to give me some time." Xie Wu interrupted him, raised his hand to wipe his forehead, and his hands were sweaty.Reminded by the sweat, he realized that his throat was extremely thirsty, but it wasn't really lack of water, it was just that he couldn't express his thoughts.

Embarrassed and suffocated.

He paused, then suddenly held up Jiang Xichen's face, lowered his head to cover those lips, sucked hard twice, and then quickly let go: "Okay, are you tired too? Don't write letters, come in to sleep Bar."

Jiang Xichen: "...Only sleeping?"

"Only sleep!" Xie Wu took his hand angrily, kicked away the pillow in front of him who didn't know when it was there, and led him back to the inner room.