crack

Pei Chongyuan brazenly forced his way into Jiang Xi's house, closed the door with his backhand, straightened his back and looked at Jiang Xi.

"Did you hear? It doesn't matter to him that he can believe me this time?" Pei Chongyuan acted frankly and said, "I have a little more contact with this job, and I ate with him a few times when he was sent here." I went to the bar twice, and had little contact in private at other times, and, even those few times, there were other colleagues besides us. I didn’t make this clear before, and you misunderstood me. It was my fault. "

Jiang Xi hadn't recovered from the situation just now. He originally tried to pierce Pei Chongyuan's mask with the attitude of watching a joke, but it turned out to be so reversed that he had indigestion.

"Let's put it this way, I haven't touched Xiang Ran, even if I really liked this type before, I don't have any opinions, and he will follow whatever you give him, but since I met you, do you think I can go back? ?” Pei Chongyuan said, “I’m not picking the good ones, but this is the truth. That Xiangran, I don’t even know what his sexual orientation is, and I haven’t mentioned it to him. We never talk about things other than work. At most, let me remind him not to be betrayed by that shitty uncle of his all the time."

Pei Chongyuan took a step forward and approached Jiang Xi. The two were so close that they could see the shadow reflected in each other's pupils.

"Didn't you ask before, I didn't tell you when I was detained, so did I tell Xiang Ran?" Pei Chongyuan said, "He doesn't need me to tell, because he participated in that project, and he knows it even if I don't tell him. Then Do you know why I didn't tell you?"

Pei Chongyuan continued to approach, Jiang Xi frowned and retreated.

The two of them didn't even change their shoes. The soles of their shoes that had just stepped on the snow outside were dirty and they stepped on the clean floor.

Pei Chongyuan said: "Because I'm afraid that you will be worried and distressed, because I know that no matter how hard you refuse me, your heart will still be as soft as cotton candy. Jiang Xi, we have been together for so long, we have not People know each other better than we do, it's just that you don't want to face it."

He stood still and looked at Jiang Xi: "I didn't even know if I could get away. I was thinking, don't let you worry about it, and come back to you when I get over it. And the downcast look at that time, I was caught Lock it in, I want to save face, I don't want you to see it."

Pei Chongyuan didn't intend to say these words to Jiang Xi, for fear that the other party would think he was selling out.

Is Pei Chongyuan miserable?It's miserable if you say it, and it's not miserable if you say it's not.

Who hasn't fallen in their life?It's just that he fell defenselessly and a little hard.

At that time, Pei Chongyuan, who was stuck in his love career, was at the lowest point in his life for so many years. He had too many things to consider, and he still has lingering fears.

But he can't stop getting up when he falls, it's not his character.

Pei Chongyuan was never afraid of losing, because he knew that success depends on people.

These days, his work has begun to improve. Although he did not return to the original state so quickly, there is no need to go back.

Life is moving forward, why do you want to overlap with your past self?

Just like his relationship with Jiang Xi, why did he stick to that broken mirror?

Wouldn't it be good to start over?

Start a new story with a new self, a new partner, and a new way of getting along.

Pei Chongyuan said, "Do you know what I bought on the way back?"

He took out a condom and lubricant from his pocket: "Knowing that you were discharged from the hospital, I took the initiative to fulfill my promise. I know that you don't believe that I can really do this, but you also have to understand that I not only love you, I respect you too."

Pei Chongyuan stepped forward again and began to unpack the lubricant while forcing Jiang Xi into the room.

"Today, if you don't go to me, I'm dead," Pei Chongyuan smiled. "Don't you hate people who don't keep their promises the most? Before you tell others, you have to do it yourself, right? Jiang Xi, people keep their word."

Jiang Xi grabbed Pei Chongyuan's wrist and forced him to stop.

"Brother Pei, I regret it." Jiang Xi didn't have time to digest those things. He hated Pei Chongyuan for so long, and pretended to be calm and light. , but did not expect that Pei Chongyuan would always be able to tear off the disguise.

This made him a little reconciled and a little panicked.

These words of Pei Chongyuan were like red beans falling on the plate, hitting his lovesickness one by one.

Yes, he still can't let it go, he still loves this person, but his belief and dignity for so many years don't allow him to think about this person anymore.

This point, he will never admit it.

"I broke my promise, I became the kind of person I hate the most." Jiang Xi looked at Pei Chongyuan steadily, "I don't want to fuck you anymore, you can go."

"Are you sure?" Pei Chongyuan stood there looking at him, "Then why are your hands shaking?"

Jiang Xi didn't realize that he was shaking, he just felt panicked.

It’s like being told suddenly that his happy family is just an illusion, and everything he owns is extremely absurd, but what shocked him at that time and made him unable to react was the huge pain of loss, but now it is indescribable. Congratulations, but still regretful and helpless.

helpless.

Jiang Xi hadn't felt this way for so many years. It turned out that he thought he could handle everything well, but it was just because he hadn't faced anything that really made him feel at a loss.

He was really at a loss.

Because he began to believe that Pei Chongyuan really loved him.

During the confrontation between the two, Jiang Xi once again saw the house in his heart crackling and falling tiles, as if the mountains were shaking, and he was a fool who had never done earthquake drills. what can be done.

He needs time to calm down.

"Xiaoxi, your hands are cold."

Pei Chongyuan's voice, his words, his eyes, and his temperature, like those notes pasted on his door, buried Jiang Xi like snowflakes.

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to," Pei Chongyuan put the things in his pockets, and held Jiang Xi's hand, "I'll cover your hands for you."

Pei Chongyuan's hands were several degrees warmer than Jiang Xi's. He held them in both hands and rubbed them gently.

Jiang Xi was taken aback for a moment, he was too familiar with this temperature.

But when Jiang Xi came back to his senses, he still gritted his teeth and pulled out his hand.

"I just came back from outside. It's normal for my hands to be cold." Jiang Xi tried to make his tone look calm and his breathing look steady. He said, "I just got home and I need to clean up."

He pointed to the dirty floor and said, "It needs to be cleaned."

This is an obvious order to chase away guests, and of course Pei Chongyuan understands it.

Pei Chongyuan smiled: "Okay, then I won't bother you."

He retreated to the door, opened the door and said to Jiang Xi before leaving: "It's useless to escape from our affairs, Xiao Xi, when you torment me, you are also torturing yourself, there is no need. People must learn to reconcile with themselves."

He sighed, and said with a wry smile: "Let's put it this way, even if you really won't come back to me again, I hope you can let yourself go, let go from the bottom of your heart, not the peace on the surface. "

Pei Chongyuan left, and the door was closed softly when he left, as if he was afraid of interrupting Jiang Xi's thoughts.

What is Jiang Xi thinking?

I was thinking about Pei Chongyuan's words.

People have to learn to reconcile with themselves.

For so many years, he never thought about this problem, and never felt that it was necessary.

He is alive, and the competition between the two selves in his body is one of the elements for his survival. One always wants to defeat the other, and each is scarred, but never tired of it.

Reconcile?What happens after the settlement?From then on, all is well, what's the point of living?

Jiang Xi stood there for a long time, until Tail came over and lay down in front of him to look at him.

He knelt down, stroked the head of the tail gently, and suddenly wanted to cry.

When Pei Chongyuan returned home, the lights were not turned on, and he sat on the sofa in a daze.

He said a lot today, what should be said and what should not be said, is all given to Jiang Xi. He hopes that Jiang Xi can understand, but he feels that what he said is probably still meaningless.

What Jiang Xi needed was never a verbal solution.

That didn't work for him.

Pei Chongyuan sighed, leaning on the back of the sofa chair, staring at the condom and lubricant he put on the coffee table in a daze.

In fact, he already knew that Jiang Xi would not really do it with him, no matter who was above and who was below, Jiang Xi would not do it now.

What he did today was part of acting, but if Jiang Xi did something unexpected, he wouldn't resist. The stalemate between them has been too long, and sooner or later there will be a change.

Pei Chongyuan is looking forward to this change, but he doesn't know which direction the future is going in.

He felt sorry for Jiang Xi, and only after they separated did he get to know each other better, and he deeply understood that Jiang Xi was fighting with himself while constantly pushing him away.

No one has it easy.

As he said, he sincerely hopes that Jiang Xi can reconcile with himself one day and not be so tired, even if Jiang Xi really doesn't want him at that time.

In the dark, Pei Chongyuan smiled, and suddenly felt that his love had sublimated?He's never been this selfless.

After sitting like this for an unknown amount of time, Pei Chongyuan felt a little drowsy.

He has been very tired recently and has a lot of things to do at work. He is so busy in the company every day that he can go to the hospital to accompany Jiang Xi in order not to work overtime, even sacrificing his lunch break.

In a state of half asleep and half awake, with fuzzy consciousness, he suddenly heard a knock on the door and woke up suddenly.

Pei Chongyuan was taken aback for a moment, then stood up rubbing his brows.

When he arrived at the door, he turned on the light and opened the door. He was ecstatic when the door opened.

Jiang Xi was wearing home clothes, stood there expressionless, holding his insulated lunch box in his hand and said, "Return you."

Pei Chongyuan smiled, took it, and stopped Jiang Xi when he turned to go home.

"Didn't you eat tonight?" Pei Chongyuan said, "I haven't eaten either, why don't you come over, what can I do?"

Jiang Xi held his hand on the doorknob of his own house. He hesitated for a moment, then turned to look at Pei Chongyuan.

Pei Chongyuan said, "Come? Let's have dinner together."

Jiang Xi struggled for a while, then slowly put down his hand holding the handle, and walked into Pei Chongyuan's house without saying a word.