crack

Jiang Xi woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, and Tail, who was sleeping in the living room, also woke up, ran in and jumped onto the bed.

He hugged his tail and rubbed it, listening to the movement upstairs in silence.

There were not many people living in their building. There was probably a young couple upstairs, who often quarreled, especially in the middle of the night.

Jiang Xi once suspected that there was a couple of ghosts upstairs, otherwise why was there no movement during the day and became more energetic in the middle of the night?

He sat on the bed with his tail in his lap.

There was a lot of ding ding ding ding upstairs, apart from quarreling and bickering, there was also the sound of things being thrown.

The quality of his sleep in the past two years has been very poor. He has a shallow sleep, wakes up when there is any movement, and has difficulty falling asleep.

He couldn't sleep because of the noise above.

Jiang Xi took the laptop on the bedside table, opened it, and looked for a movie to watch.

A casual movie, 118 minutes, very few lines, more of a fixed space and obscure emotions.

After reading it, Jiang Xi went to the balcony to smoke three cigarettes by himself.

The movie is called "Long Live Love", but the irony is that there is no love here.

Two men and one woman, it is not the setting that he loves him and he loves her, they are just projections of desire for each other.

If you have to say where there is a little affection, it is probably that Xiaokang recognized his homosexuality, and finally took advantage of Arong's sleep, and left him a soft kiss, which was restrained and touching.

This movie brought Jiang Xi an indescribable depression and depression on this night, and three cigarettes could not relieve the sadness.

There is no love in this city.

Tail followed, lying at his feet, rubbing his head against him coquettishly.

Jiang Xi smiled and extinguished the cigarette, squatting down to touch it.

"You don't sleep at night, what are you doing?" Jiang Xi said softly, "It's not good to start having insomnia at such an early age."

Tail seemed to understand what he said, and fell directly into his arms, closing his eyes and pretending to be asleep.

Jiang Xi laughed so hard that he patted it: "Don't make trouble, go back to sleep in the nest."

The tail does not move.

"Then come back to sleep with me?"

The tail is up.

Jiang Xi didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and took it to the bedroom, and couldn't help feeling: "Now this dog can understand people better than people."

Jiang Xi, who didn't sleep well at night, woke up at dawn.

Still upstairs, in a panic, he looked at the ceiling, and even evilly hoped that they would divorce as soon as possible.

My whole body was sore and my head was dizzy.

Jiang Xi came out of the bedroom barefoot, and just after drinking a glass of water in the living room, he saw his tail coming out with his slippers in his mouth.

"So cute." Jiang Xi looked at it with a smile, and put on his slippers.

After that, it is the daily routine of making coffee, cooking, changing clothes, and walking the dog.

The heavy snow yesterday did not cause much trouble. When Jiang Xi went downstairs, he found that the roads in the community had been cleaned up, and all the snow was piled up on both sides.

It is estimated that the security and cleaning of the property cleaned it up overnight.

The tail ran in front, and Jiang Xi followed behind holding the rope. Seeing the tail jumping around and those two big ears that were about to fly, he couldn't help laughing.

It's a good life.

Now he can't remember what he was like before. The arrogant, irritable, frivolous and a little passionate 20-year-old Jiang Xi in Tong Ye's mouth has disappeared a little bit in the past five years.

What disappeared together was his expectation and disappointment in love.

Even, if Pei Chongyuan didn't make that phone call that day, he would feel that he had forgotten that he had such an indefinable relationship.

It was an experience that cut off half of Jiang Xi's life, and took half of his energy and energy from his body.

Then he used the other half to support his body, so that others could not see that he was actually incomplete.

When Jiang Xi recalled it later, he was not even willing to define the two years between him and Pei Chongyuan as love. It was a relationship driven by desire and bred in lies. It was too absurd to be called love.

Although, he can be sure that he once loved Pei Chongyuan wholeheartedly, and he can also be sure that Pei Chongyuan probably treated him sincerely.

However, deception is a knife, so sharp that it can kill all love.

Jiang Xi has never been an indecisive person, his determination is sharper than a sharp knife.

In fact, Pei Chongyuan looked for him later.

He was able to put together a complete paragraph of all the explanations intermittently.

In the beginning, I really only wanted to spend a winter, but later found that I wanted to be with him all year round.

But Jiang Xi didn't want to listen or believe it.

No matter whether Pei Chongyuan told the truth or not, he hated this person to the bone.

It's not that he didn't give Pei Chongyuan a chance. As early as the beginning of the two, Jiang Xi made it clear that he couldn't see betrayal and deception. If Pei Chongyuan had been more sincere at that time, he wouldn't have come to this point.

Jiang Xi didn't think he couldn't live without Pei Chongyuan, there was no such thing in this world.

When he was eight years old, he could stumble and grow up by himself, let alone the 20-year-old him.

The time after separation was really difficult.

It was hard, he couldn't sleep all night, he had no appetite to eat, and he felt nauseous even when drinking water.

Tong Ye thought he was sick and took him to the school hospital.

As a result, after the examination, the school doctor said, "Why don't you go to the hospital to register and check for psychological problems."

Jiang Xi flicked his sleeves and left.

He doesn't admit that there is a problem with his mental state, but it's just a breakup, so it won't happen.

He's not that useless.

For about a year and a half, until after he graduated from university, Pei Chongyuan still surrounded him from time to time.

From the eager explanation to the gracious greetings, and then later, it seemed that she began to become cautious and dare not approach easily.

Jiang Xi seldom sat down and talked seriously with him, even if he wanted to rationally, he couldn't do it.

He will always remember what Pei Chongyuan said when the two quarreled at the end.

At the beginning, Pei Chongyuan vowed to protect his idealism, but in the end he shattered his dream with his own hands.

Jiang Xi was not willing to forgive Pei Chongyuan, nor was he willing to let himself go.

He could see that Pei Chongyuan was trying his best to save him at that time, and he believed it. Pei Chongyuan had learned his lesson and really had feelings for him.

But Jiang Xi couldn't look at him. Once he looked at that person, his mind was always filled with a disdainful smile that he imagined.

In front of him, it was full of love and love, turning to Kong Xun to talk about himself, like a disposable plaything.

Jiang Xi wanted dignity, and he wanted to guard his only dignity.

If you want to die, Pei Chongyuan will die by himself.

He is not going to accompany him anymore.

I said it harshly a thousand times, but it still didn't seem to be enough.

On the day of graduating from university and taking graduation photos, Jiang Xi went to get a tattoo and tattooed "murder idealism" on his waist.

He gritted his teeth and felt the pain, like a farewell ceremony, hoping that after this, Pei Chongyuan's existence would be completely erased.

To his surprise, after that, Pei Chongyuan really withdrew from his life slowly.

Jiang Xi took over the Subway after graduation. Pei Chongyuan would come to order a glass of wine at first, and watch Jiang Xi from a distance.

Pei Chongyuan had visibly lost weight to the naked eye, he had become haggard a lot, and he had lost the vigor and sharpness he had in the past.

These Jiangxi are all in the eyes.

This allowed him to find some balance, knowing that he was not alone in the pain.

Whoever sows the cause should also taste the fruit.

Qin Song, who was working here at that time, didn't know the story between Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan. He only thought that Pei Chongyuan was an idiot who had a crush on their handsome boss, and occasionally joked with Jiang Xi.

Jiang Xi never said anything like this. As soon as Qin Song said it, he threatened to withhold performance. Later, Qin Song didn't dare to say anything, but every time Pei Chongyuan came over, he would joke with Pei Chongyuan and say a few words, "Our boss today not there" such words.

It was 2012, Jiang Xi was 22 years old, the second year after breaking up with Pei Chongyuan.

The winter of that year was also very snowy, and I often received blizzard warnings, just like this year.

At that time, Jiang Xi thought that the future would be like this. Pei Chongyuan, like an ordinary guest, would occasionally come to drink a glass of wine.

At that time, his hatred for Pei Chongyuan was still very strong, like a smog that couldn't go away, thinking too much would kill him.He can not look at each other without looking at each other. This person is a thorn in his flesh, which makes him so painful that he breaks out in cold sweat.

But in the past year, just after New Year's Day, Pei Chongyuan disappeared.

I never went to 2008 again, never contacted Jiang Xi again, just like that suddenly disappeared at the beginning of 2013.

It seems difficult to disappear alone, but it also seems easy. When Jiang Xi stood smoking at the door of the bar, he would occasionally look at the parking space where Pei Chongyuan always parked.

A few years ago, he was smoking like this, and saw Pei Chongyuan sitting in the car, and then their story began to get out of hand.

But four years have passed, time has sorted everything out, put all the stories in place, and people's hearts have a home.

After Pei Chongyuan disappeared, Jiang Xi never inquired.

It's better to leave than to never show up again.

It would be even better if it was dead.

Jiang Xi occasionally went to the hospital to see Kong Xun, and both of them avoided talking about Pei Chongyuan, only discussing the business in the store and Kong Xun's condition.

Kong Xun would occasionally say, "I think this is my retribution."

Jiang Xi just smiled: "That's probably true, but after all, you are not guilty of death, so you can be fine."

Kong Xun was skinny and skinny. He used to be such a joking person, but now he struggled to laugh.

But Jiang Xi always felt that Kong Xun could get better.

Damn someone else.

He really thought so at the time.

However, Kong Xun still did not survive that winter. The day before the beginning of spring, Jiang Xi received a call from the hospital saying that Kong Xun was gone.

Jiang Xi smoked outside for a long time that day, and recalled it for a long time.

I met Kong Xun by posting songs on forums in high school, and later, when I came here to go to college, Kong Xun picked me up at the airport.

Although, if it weren't for Kong Xun, he wouldn't have known Pei Chongyuan, and wouldn't have suffered so many difficult days and nights because of Pei Chongyuan, but even if it wasn't for Pei Chongyuan, someone else might have taught him this lesson.

In Jiang Xi's heart, Kong Xun was still the big brother who laughed and scolded and took care of him.

When Kong Xun left, there was no one around him. Jiang Xi stood in the snow, watching the soot being blown away by the wind, thinking, maybe there is nothing left, there should be a ray of sunshine shining on Kong Xun's withered hands , silently sent him away.

Jiang Xi took care of the funeral for Kong Xun, and finally placed a bouquet of white flowers in front of his tombstone.

In fact, people will lie here like this, and sooner or later, they will melt into the land and sleep forever for countless springs, summers, autumns and winters.

In the early winter of 2013, because of Kong Xun's death, Jiang Xi decided to let him and Pei Chongyuan go.

No matter where that person is from now on, he doesn't hate it anymore, because there is no need.

He's going to live his own life.