never ending love

(32)

2017.12.17

i'm a little lonely

The word loneliness usually looks really funny

but when it does come

Surprised me and accepted

One and a half months before and after the day she agreed to be my girlfriend

A total of three months, is my happiest time so far

Before the start of these three months, I most want to achieve two achievements

I want to confess to her, to fall in love with her

I want to take the top class in No. [-] Middle School

In no particular order of want

Starting from the news that I entered the top class

been lucky

confessed, promised

i know what i am

These successes have little to do with me, but luck

i'm really happy

Sometimes I feel that the pressure of studying is too much to bear, so I try my best to think about her, and it will be much better

When I feel that the relationship with her is sour, I just think that I still have to study hard in this class, and I will share the extra free time without thinking about it.

I have never dared to tell others that I am in love, no one has

I'm afraid that if someone else's gossip floats into her ears, she will hate our relationship

When I first talked about this in Truth or Words

It was a time when I faintly felt that there seemed to be a lot of bad things between us

On the way home that day, I reached the section where I was walking alone

I curled my lips and thought about everyone's reactions. They said that I didn't look like I was in a relationship, because I really didn't behave like

While tears were eagerly squeezed in my eyes, I protected this relationship too well, what would happen if I talked about it like this, I couldn’t stop guessing

I know that she doesn't know any of these people

But somehow, I expected that there might be some changes in the relationship

the result is yes

I don't even know who to blame, the person who played the truth with me, the game?

It's clearly not involved - of course it's my own fault

i dare not go to her

Obviously, week after week, when I was out of class, I looked at the door of the classroom and still thought, the same physical education class still thought

Maybe she'll show up at this time, right?

Why, it's always me who apologizes

I send a lot of text messages, word by word, sincerely, time-consuming and costly

Follow her in reality, prepare an apology gift, give it to her over and over again, bow to her, say sorry, beg her to forgive me

no exception

She did something wrong, and if she said something lightly, not necessarily an apology, I fell in love with her again with joy

This time even better

She sent so many sorry and apologies, all in a face-to-face situation

She abused these words, I didn't realize she had one-tenth the feelings I had

She doesn't want to come to me

She said she was afraid of embarrassing me, but I never felt that way, she was afraid

It seems that it has nothing to do with her when it is transferred to me.

I sometimes think of her and want to hate her so much that I gnash my teeth

I don't want to go find her—

When will she really think about me once, and take the initiative to come to me, even if it is to say the end of a paragraph

I want to see her in front of my face, say her thoughtful words, at least in the end, look serious, seriously look at me, respect me for once

I feel miserable now

I was afraid that I would feel useless after I went to her.

Although I understand that the reason why I am so miserable is not because I am useless

If I were a dazzling person, how could I pay attention to her, how could I ruin myself so badly in order to chase her who was a little bit ahead of me

Because of her staying up until two o'clock, because of her thin clothes walking in the winter night, because of the mints she bought for her to save breakfast money, because of her crying until her whole body was shivering with cold

It has been so badly destroyed that there is no possibility of it becoming dazzling

When will she come to me, give me the last hug, comfort me not to cry, her hug has always been my imagination, in fact, it never happened

(33)

2017.12.17

throw away this book