flowers eat their brains

"Doctor, I think I'm hopeless. My wife and I have been married for two and a half years, and we have had three babies, all three of which are girls. Now my wife is pregnant again, and it turns out that they are twins. If they are still girls, I, Our family is about to be ridiculed by relatives as a country of daughters! There is no one in this family to carry on the family line, but there are people who accompany the money. Recently, I have been thinking about whether to give away the older two, so that the financial burden will be smaller. But My wife refused, and quarreled with me, saying that I was going to give away my daughter, so she committed suicide and killed three people. What do you think I should do?" The man sat in the studio of Peony TV, covering his face and crying dog.

Li Shu sat opposite him, looking at him indifferently.

Jingjing under the stage used a small tablet to remind that the scolding of netizens outside the venue has risen to the No. 20 eighth-generation ancestor of the man.

Li Shu waited for the man's emotions to be released, and then asked him slowly: "There are three children in two and a half years. It seems that this rhythm is not well grasped?"

The man blushed in embarrassment: "The eldest was married with a son. When I was five months old, I asked a doctor from Wuyuehong General Hospital to take a photo. It was a boy who got married. Unexpectedly, the photo looks like The place where the penis is located is actually a piece of umbilical cord. Alas!"

The man sighed, thinking of the faces of relatives after the child was carried out of the delivery room, sadness welled up in his heart again.

Li Shu was still expressionless, but his words changed: "Have you heard of Sadako?"

"what?"

The man's eyes widened in error.

"It looks like a woman on the outside, but in fact, there are women's breasts on the upper body, and men's genitals on the lower body. The sexual characteristics of this kind of intersex people are not obvious when they are children, and they can only be known when they grow up. .”

"Doctor... I don't quite understand."

"What I mean is, your daughter may not be a daughter, but there is still a 0.01% chance of being a son. You wait another ten years, see the result, and then decide whether to give it away."

The man was stunned for a while, and his eyes finally turned from initial doubts to anger.

"Doctor, are you kidding me?"

"Aren't you procreating offspring with the mentality of betting?" Li Shu stood up and flipped the table angrily, "We here shed blood, sacrificed, tortured and paid a heavy price for the evolution of human beings, and you Just because Ding Ding didn't live up to expectations, you wanted to give away your daughter, and you used your wife as a reproductive tool, why didn't you put a diamond in Ding Ding first? Maybe you can give birth to a son like this!"

The man's arrogance was instantly extinguished, and he murmured: "Doctor, I didn't mean that..."

"Then what do you mean?" Li Shu continued aggressively, "You despise women so much, how did you find a girlfriend in the first place? Are you worth hundreds of millions? You don't look like you. Does your mother know that you despise her? You want to put Send your daughter away, why don't you send your mother away first!"

As soon as the voice finished, an off-site call came in, Li Shu took the receiver from the beautiful and generous hostess, and after listening to it for a while, he suddenly showed joy, grabbed the man's arm excitedly, and said: "Great! Just now, just now! Our program team successfully sent away your mother, grandma, grandmother, wife, mother-in-law, and three daughters! Now they are other people’s mother, grandma, grandmother, wife, mother-in-law and Daughter!"

"This...how is it possible!" The man's face turned pale.

"Don't worry, we also know it's unfair!" Li Shu still pressed him excitedly, "So we arranged another father, grandfather, grandfather, father-in-law and three sons for you! Please watch the big screen!"

The huge electronic screen behind him jumps to his home. His father, who is over sixty and fifty, with a short stature and a huge general belly, is being hugged and kissed by a tall, thin, strange man with Mediterranean hair. His father is obese. The hands are pushing vigorously, but it seems obvious and enjoying it.Before he had time to scream out loud, the scene shifted to his grandfather's house. The old man was being molested by another wrinkled old man. The old man was very experienced. It didn't take long for his grandfather to sweat profusely. The old man jumped into his grandfather panting. In his arms, he softly called his grandfather's nickname, winked at the camera, and said, "Come on, let's go into the house and sing about the dark and dark queen-Ting Hua!"

The picture is too ugly, and the program group dare not broadcast it any further.

At this time, a young man ran up from the stage, hugged the man's arm and shook it vigorously, leaned his head into his shoulder, and said, "Honey, let's go home quickly, the sons are almost tearing down the roof!"

The man stepped back in horror: "Who are you?"

The other party stamped their feet angrily: "Oh, what nonsense are you talking about. I am your wife! I have the marriage certificate with me! Look!" He took out two red books from his arms and handed them to the man.

The man opened it and took a few glances, and almost fainted. The name, ID number, and ID photo on the marriage certificate were of him and the young man.

The man urged him again: "Hurry up, don't you still want to see the birth certificates of your sons!"

There is even a birth certificate!

The man suddenly realized: "Impossible! You are not my wife at all, and the son is not mine! Even if you have a marriage certificate, the birth mother of the son cannot be you, because men cannot have children!"

The young man beat him angrily, and opened his clothes: "Men can't have children? You heartless man who killed thousands of knives, is this round lump in my stomach shit? You can touch it with your hands. , Is it your son!" As he spoke, he grabbed the man's hand and pressed it on his stomach.

The man screamed in terror as he clearly felt a fetal movement under the thin skin.

At this time, Li Shu received another call. After hanging up the phone, he calmly said to the man: "Your three-year-old son just burned down your 500 million house in the city center! As far as we know, your loan repayment 15 years left!"

The man finally broke down and cried: "Doctor, I was wrong! I know I'm sick! Please help me!"

He threw his nose and tears at Li Shu.

Li Shu threw the book to him: "It's not too late to realize that you are sick. How about this, I have a book here, you take it back and recite it carefully, and come to me after you have recited it."

The man took the book gratefully, only to see "How to Coexist Peacefully with the Pixel Flowers in Your Brain" written on the cover, author: Lu Minghao, a well-known host.

At the same time, Book City in the Colorful Fallen Leaves Business District.

[Former] Well-known host, Lu Minghao is holding his first autograph event in his life.

It has been a full year since Lu Yanxiu exploded in the conference hall.During this year, the domestic situation has undergone earth-shaking changes.

First of all, with the support of the Lu family, Luo Zhengyang gained a firm foothold, starting from turning around the economy, and using the strength of the Lu family to bring the domestic economy to a new height.In the general election of national leaders a few months ago, he won the most votes.

Secondly, due to Liu Zhaoyang's breakthrough research results, people's awareness of pixel flowers has increased, and the riots have gradually subsided, and they will immediately go to the hospital for treatment if they feel unwell.

As for Lu Minghao, although he has not completely conquered the pixel flower, his brain has more room for thinking. He wrote a book in his spare time, recording his experience of fighting against the pixel flower, hoping to help more patients.As for Peony TV Station, he bought it and moved from the front of the stage to the backstage, but soon realized that he was not that material, and handed over the heavy responsibility of management to Uncle Yao. To stick together with Master Meow.

Tang Bin lined up in the queue and watched as he signed his name on the page, and then handed it to the cat next to him who was licking his paw. The cat puffed up his cheeks and pressed a small pink paw print next to the name.

The signing was limited to [-] copies. Lu Minghao quickly finished his work, drove his broken Beetle, and carrying the cat, to the TV station to pick up Li Shu.Then the two of them went to the supermarket to buy vegetables.

Li Shu was talking about the show just now: "All the documents of the man are forged. As for the man pretending to be his wife, he was found at the last minute after spending a lot of money. Surrogacy for men is very expensive these days, and he is very happy to be on this show." .”

When passing by the seafood area, the cat was reluctant to leave, jumped out of the shopping cart, and lay on the outside of the fish tank and whined.

Li Shu picked it up, threw it into Lu Minghao's arms, and continued to chat about his show: "It's a pity that you are not on this show. The popularity of the host is not inferior to yours back then, and the popularity of the show has also broken the record." ..."

Lu Minghao fought against the cat earnestly, and was defeated in the end, so he honestly bought a fish for it.

Li Shu scolded him: "Can you have some backbone?"

Lu Minghao hugged the cat with an aggrieved expression on his face.

Li Shu said again: "At least buy me one too, I want to eat sweet and sour carp."

After buying the fish and other vegetables, the two went home with the naughty cat.

Halfway through the car, Li Shu suddenly said: "By the way, when I got off work, Sister Wen asked us to go to her house for dinner."

"When?"

"Now."

"..."

Lu Minghao looked at the cart full of vegetables: "Then why do we buy vegetables?"

Li Shu blinked and stroked the cat's fur: "I think it's good to experience a life of daily necessities once in a while. Whether it's Marvel or Juvenile Jump, when the hero is late, you have to return to the ordinary."

Lu Minghao was so angry that he pinched his neck: "But your cooking skills are still as bad as ever!"

"Meow!"

Seeing the two kissing and kissing together, Miaomi jumped into the shopping bag with vegetables flicking her tail, and gnawed on the fish.

Everything is changing silently, and the world is peaceful and beautiful.

The evolution of human beings is infiltrated in the exquisite rice, oil and salt, slowly moving towards the future with the wheel of time.

Oh, almost forgot.

There is one more thing to tell the judges.

Meow has been fed by Qian Xiaosan'er recently, and her round eyes have been squeezed into slits by the flesh on her face. The two shit-shoveling officers are seriously considering vasectomy.

Meow: "Meow Meow??"