If everything can come back

Nineteen

After I graduated from university, I went back to China.On my birthday, I received a call from Huang Jianjun. "Zhiyuan, let's... meet at your orphanage."

The orphanage there has long been abandoned, and only the peach blossom tree that is still blooming beautifully remains.I saw Huang Jianjun haggard a lot, holding an urn of ashes in his hand, and I felt an ominous feeling in my heart. "Zhiyuan... Long time no see."

"he's gone……"

"What do you mean?" I didn't understand, and I didn't want to understand, what the hell was going on.But I knew in my heart that God made a joke about Shen Haocheng for the fourth time.

"Hao Cheng...before he died, he asked me to divide his ashes, half for his parents, and half for you..."

I stepped forward, clasped his shoulders and asked: "What are you talking about!?" This must not be a bad joke, because I clearly saw the tears in his eyes.

"He also said, let me hand over the ashes to your hands, and take them back to his hometown to scatter..." He bit his lips, tears gradually falling down.

I just felt powerless all over my body, took a few steps back, and asked a little decadently: "During my absence, what happened..."

"It just happened not long ago...he had a malignant brain tumor." Huang Jianjun still choked up and said. "For so many years, every minute and every second, he has been waiting for you, even if it's just a glance... before leaving..."

You... didn't you say that you wouldn't want to see me even if you had the chance? !Why do you still miss me so much until you die! ?

I hugged the urn in my hand and said, "What else did he say..."

"He thought you hated him and refused to see him..."

I hate him?This is impossible... It's too late to love, how can I bear to hate you!

Every time his ashes are scattered, my heart hurts as much as the wound that year.Recalling the graduation ceremony of the third year of high school, my heart felt as if I was being strangled by someone.

"Everyone is looking for you. Who knows, you changed your phone number. After Haocheng knew you were missing, he was depressed all day long. Except for books, he ignored everyone." Huang Jianjun calmed down, his face Said with tears on his face. "Indifference and indifference to anything, including his own illness..."

Yeah?Gone so quietly?Is it that I don't even want to deal with it?Do you have to punish me in this way? !

I held this most precious and tragic birthday gift in my arms, and I wanted to tell him a thousand words in my heart, but I had no chance.

It's impossible in this life.

twenty

I took a deep breath, and a burst of peach blossom scent rushed into my nasal cavity. "This year's peach blossoms are more fragrant than before, but they are still so refreshing."

"It's a pity that the human face doesn't know where to go, Taohua still smiles at the spring breeze." Huang Jianjun sighed and patted me on the shoulder. "Don't be too sad, so he...will go away uneasy..."

After I went back, I lived every day in tears, crying when I woke up and crying when I fell asleep.I put the remaining ashes into a small glass bottle to give myself a self-consolation.Every day, I would talk to that bottle by myself, like a madman.

I used to hear people say that the furthest distance in this world is not between life and death, but when I stand in front of you, but you don't know that I love you.Thinking back to when I was eight years old, I was still naive, but I believe that I liked him very much when I first saw him.

When I met Xiaodonggua again that year, I really fell in love with him.Whether it's a novel or a movie, falling in love with the same sex will generally not have a good result, either one of them will die, or both will die together.But I just don't believe in this evil!Now I believe it, and I know that nothing good will come of us even if we are together.

If I could do it all over again, I would admit to him without fear that I was a little one, not only that, but I would also say "I love you" to him.

It is a pity that time cannot be turned back, and there is no such opportunity.

I shed the tears of my life, regretting what I had done before.His ashes and I have become the closest distance in the world, but unfortunately he can no longer hear my voice, and I have no chance to see him again...

One day after that, Huang Jianjun called me and told me that he had put a letter from Shen Haocheng in the special graduation book, but he kept forgetting to tell me.

I frantically searched every corner of the house, and after searching for a long time, I finally found the special graduation book that I hid in the depths.I flipped through it quickly, and a white envelope fell to the ground.

I dropped the book, picked up the letter with trembling hands, tore open the envelope and took out the letter paper inside.

"If there is an afterlife, I will definitely choose to die alone, because the person I love deeply does not love me."

Looking at the all-too-familiar graceful font, my tears burst again and dripped on his neat font, and the ink dispersed.

After I packed up my mood, it has been more than a year. I plan to go abroad, and I have long been ashamed of this place.Before I left, I cursed myself to God.

"After you die, I will definitely live a good life. I hope that every minute and every second of my life will be tortured every moment!"

Shen Haocheng, this is how I remember you and think that you are always by my side.

If there is still a chance, I will never let you go again.