Looking for a woman named Xiaoyao

2. Kathmandu meditation tour

A few summers ago, I came to Kathmandu by car from the Zhangmu border of Tibet alone. For various reasons, I stayed in the maze-like Tamil area for 20 days.This time because of meditation, I came to Kathmandu again.A few years have passed, and Jiadu has not changed much. There are no traffic lights on the road, and crossing the road depends on the agility of the body, eyes and hands.The disorderly and chaotic traffic, the criss-crossing narrow alleys, and the noisy Tamil district still attract many foreign tourists.Those roadside bars still staged scenes of disorientation and carnival every night.It's just that the song I heard is no longer the popular "someonelikeyou".

After spending two days in Kathmandu, I came to a meditation center located on the outskirts of Kathmandu.After the car brought all the students to the meditation center, they lined up and handed in all their personal belongings, passports, mobile phones, wallets... except for clothes and toiletries, there were no other personal belongings.After cutting off all contact with the outside world, I feel free. Without the interference of outside information, I can better empty myself and talk to myself.

The meditation center is quietly hidden at the foot of the green mountain. When the morning light shines on the earth, the meditation center presents a quiet and soft beauty. The trees and flowers in the courtyard are full of fragrance, just like a botanical garden.I live in a suite divided into three rooms. In addition to me, there are another British girl named Lily and Hong Kong girl Alice among the students living in this suite.

The course in the meditation center lasts ten days. In the first three days, the students learn the techniques of Anapana to train their concentration and sensitivity. After a certain foundation has been established, they begin to teach Vipassana.

As a beginner, sitting in meditation for 11 hours a day is quite difficult for me, and it is also a great test for me.The teacher said that as long as you sit down like this and observe your breathing, your attention will be highly concentrated.But it's not easy, in fact, quite boring and dull.I asked the teacher who seemed to be full of philosophical thoughts, what was he thinking about when he was meditating?The standard answer is, nothing.

It was extremely difficult for me to think of nothing. When I sat in meditation for less than an hour, I found that my mind had quietly escaped. Where did my mind go?My heart would unconsciously go to the little demon again.I imagined that one day, I would fly across the mountains and rivers of love and meet the little demon.I often say to myself: maybe after meeting, everything is really as Caiwei said, and the little demon is just a beautiful image constructed in your mind.As soon as you fall into worldly associations, the illusion will be shattered.What Caiwei said is not unreasonable. To be honest, apart from the beauty photos posted by Xiao Yao on the Internet, I don’t even know anything about her, and I haven’t even heard her voice.

When I realized that my heart had quietly run away, and then caught it back with my thoughts, I continued to observe the breath.Part of the time I can really practice Anapana with my mind, but more of the time I enter a state of thinking. During the meditation, I recall a lot of the past and reflect on my flaws in character, otherwise I really don’t know what to do To pass such a long sitting time.Then it is to observe the various meditation postures of other students in the hall.The meditation postures of the students are different.Alice, who lives in the same room with me, meditates straight every time, and silently becomes a statue less than one meter away from me, which really makes me admire.I also saw individual students fall asleep while sitting, such as the Japanese girl Minako next to me, who even left saliva on the corner of her mouth once.

11 hours of meditation is really not something everyone can accomplish.Some of the students deserted halfway, and sneaked back to the dormitory in the afternoon.Meditation failed to calm my restless heart, and I failed to let myself go as the teacher said. It seems that the hope that Caiwei entrusted to me in meditation will come to nothing.After all, I am still a mortal with love and hatred, seven emotions and six desires.

That day, after the public meditation, I went back to the meditation room from the hall, and saw Lily crying there, seeing me coming in, hugged me and cried loudly.I was taken aback by this sudden move.It took me a few seconds to reflect and I just hugged her and patted her on the back.Hugs are sometimes more powerful and soothing than words.

But a few days ago, Lily seemed normal. We ate together, meditated together, and went to bed together.I don't know exactly what happened these days.

During the meditation, there was silence and silence. After the meditation, Lily told me her story. Lily was born in a single-parent family and lived with her mother since she was a child. The mother and daughter have a deep relationship. Not long ago, her mother died in a traffic accident.

The sudden blow made her unbearable. She saw a psychiatrist and once suspected that she was suffering from depression and had attempted suicide.

The students who come here to meditate must all be people with stories. There are too many troubles in reality, unsatisfactory, life is sometimes like a cage, we are deeply trapped in it, and we cannot escape.Of the more than 100 students in the meditation center, how many of them are bearing the pain of family and love and come here to heal their wounds.Through meditation, you may be able to obtain the desired peace.Meditation did not comfort me, but Lily's story let me know that suffering in the world is impermanent, and it has various manifestations.

During the daily meditation, I like the lunch break the most. Everyone rests in the courtyard with floating flowers. Everyone is dressed in elegant clothes, and their expressions are in a trance.During my lunch break, I often rest on a bench in the courtyard. Above the bench is a huge tree full of lavender flowers.Where the wind passed by, there was a scent of fragrance. I looked up to the sky and squinted my eyes, and the sunlight shone through the gaps in the leaves, casting a little spot of light.Then I unconsciously thought of Xiao Yao and the past when we met.