With the wind

In mid-July, her birthday is just a few days away.

When we met, she had already passed her 17th birthday. Now that she is about to celebrate her birthday, I still can't spend it with her, but I hope she can live her own life well.

On this day, I stayed at home and didn't go anywhere. I was enjoying watching a romantic drama when the doorbell rang.I was surprised when I opened the door.

"Why are you here? Come in."

As soon as Lin Lin entered the door, he kissed me.I don't have any response.

Lin Lin paused, she knew what it meant, she knew my attitude change, my alienation, but she kissed me again.I don't understand, does she really like me that much?So must I?of course not.

After we sat down in the living room, Lin Lin said, "My birthday is coming up."

"I know."

"You going?"

"You obviously know the answer, why do you still ask?" She lowered her head, not daring to look at me.

"Oh, don't go." She said disappointedly.

"You know where she is, I won't show up." I said lightly.

"What about the day before? You still owe me a meal."

"There was no problem the day before. We paid back the meal, so let's settle the matter."

"Why are you always so calm! Always so cruel!" She became emotional.

"I can't do your sloppy." I still have a light tone.

"Maybe she's going to confess to me, it's my birthday." She lowered her eyes.

"Oh? That's good, don't you want to be with her?"

She hugged me suddenly and buried her face in my neck.Something cold slipped down my neck.

How can it be!I was a little flustered.

"Lin Lin, don't cry." I raised my arm hanging by my side to hug her.

Feeling my hand resting on her back, she put more strength into her arms and hugged me even harder.It gave me the illusion that I was betraying her affection.

During our time together, I saw her cry twice, the first time when she was in school and the second time now.Both times it was because of me.

The first time I cried was because I accidentally bumped into her.After the collision, she gasped, it seemed that the collision was not light.I don’t know how this picture hit my point of laughter, so I just kept laughing and laughing.

Then she felt wronged and cried.Unexpectedly, when she cried, I laughed even harder.Seeing me laughing happier, she cried harder, and then I laughed harder.I leaned on her shoulder, shaking with laughter.She was so angry that she completely forgot about moving her shoulders.

Later, she called me heartless.I smiled and begged her for mercy.

But this time, I couldn't laugh anymore.I hugged her, her tears slid down my shoulder one by one, each drop burned my skin, I became more and more painful and panicked.

"Don't cry, I'll wait for you, okay? Wait until your birthday." I still relented.I supported her face with both hands, and gently wiped away the tears from her face with my thumb.

I know it shouldn't be done, but I couldn't resist her tears.

The day before her birthday, I went to the vegetable market early in the morning to buy vegetables.She made the recipe with me, and then I was in charge of making it, and she was in charge of eating it, which is the privilege of birthday stars.

Not long after lunch, the doorbell rang.I opened the door, Lin Lin came in and hugged me, then lowered his head and kissed me.I responded to her.

The sudden intertwining of lips and teeth caught her off guard, she reacted, and immediately kissed me back even harder.It's been a long time since I've responded to her hugs, her kisses.Make an exception today.

After three o'clock, I started cooking, and she came to help me.The dinner was pretty good, she was very satisfied, and I was also very happy.After eating, I stand by the sink and wash the dishes.She stood behind me and looked at me, and kept looking at me.

I tidied up the kitchen and we went back to the couch.She leaned sideways on the sofa, and I lay in her arms. I took her hand and started playing by myself.

In the winter of the third year of high school, she always warmed my hands.Holding my hand in her arms, sometimes she fell asleep, but she still held me tightly, and she woke up when I moved, so let me be good.I had no choice but to use one hand. During class, I secretly used the test paper to cover it, for fear that the teacher would see it.Thinking about that time now, it was really embarrassing.

She always likes to do some trivial things for me, such as cutting nails and cleaning ears.Every time I ask her to buy me a bag of chips, she always brings me back a bunch of snacks.

I remember, that night at the gate of my neighborhood, I waited for the car with her, and she jumped up and acted like a baby to me. I asked her amusedly, "Are you acting like a baby to me?"

She froze all of a sudden: "You forget what happened just now, what I was doing just now! You forget quickly!" This kind of thing gave me such a deep memory, how can I forget?Thinking of this, I smiled.

She asked me: "What are you laughing at?"

"I'm laughing...you jumped up on the side of the road and acted like a baby to me." I turned my head and said with a smile.

"I'm going, didn't I tell you to forget? Quickly forget it!" She pretended to be angry.

"I don't!" I raised my eyebrows.She smiled, bowed her head and kissed me.

Time passed quickly, and it was time for us to say goodbye, maybe not this time.

During the final exam of the third year of high school, it snowed, a lot of snow, and we rarely see such heavy snow in our place.She took my hand and said she wanted to 'grow old' with me.It was so stupid, so stupid of me.

I sent her out and took out the gift I prepared

"Happy birthday." That's what I prepared long ago.

Holding the gift, she asked me, "Have you still not changed your mind?"

I gave her a hug, "Sorry, goodbye."

I turned away, I wanted to cry, but she was right behind me looking at me.I controlled myself, whether it was emotions or steps, until I turned a corner and she couldn't see me, so I relaxed a little and stopped hiding myself.Obviously she was the one who hurt me, but in the end I felt that I hurt her.

The next day, we chatted intermittently.

The day after Lin Lin's birthday, she sent a message early in the morning, chatting about something, and then she said: "I agreed to her confession."

I immediately became angry, "It's fine to just say no to such a small matter, and you have been talking nonsense with me for a long time, what's the matter?"

I had already guessed that she would say yes.Maybe she just came to test my attitude that day, making a last-ditch effort to try to get me to change my mind.This is just my guess, whether it is true or not, I have no need to verify it, because we are over.

I didn't talk to her again.She also has a sense of proportion, knowing that now is different from before, and we are all retreating, retreating to safe boundaries.

In the afternoon, my friend invited me to my old place.Did not expect to meet her, and her new girlfriend.My heart skipped a beat, it's over, I haven't told my friends that she is with someone else yet.It's over, how to deal with this scene.

My friends knew a little bit about us.Basically, I don’t know many things, because we are not in the same school, but the place is so big, everyone still knows each other.

When they found out about Lin Lin and I, no one expressed their support, which I expected.So I never take the initiative to mention these things, and I even resist them. I don't want to hear more objections from them.So I didn't tell them that I was left halfway, and I was afraid to hear them say: "I told you that she was a bad person, didn't you? You don't believe me?" It would only make me more embarrassing.

They also said that Lin Lin was playful and promiscuous.I know what they said, but when Lin Lin treats me well, he is also very good, let me selectively ignore those.

Now it has become like this, I admit it, and I don’t regret it, because I can afford to lose.

I will start to forget her slowly.Although at the beginning, no matter where I go or what I see, I will think of her.But I never replied to any of his messages, and I quietly disappeared into her world.I told her before that separation was my last effort. If she liked me, she would come to me and tell me, "Let's be together, I will never contact her again."If she doesn't, take advantage of the opportunity to separate.she didn't.

Later, I gradually got used to life without her.Occasionally, when you are vulnerable, you will think of her. Would it be nice if she was here?Later, even those occasions disappeared.

There was a moment when I really wanted to call her. That day my parents quarreled very badly.During the quarrel, I learned that a little life was about to come into this world, but it left again.

I was looking forward to the arrival of this little life, but without my knowledge, they came quietly and left without a trace.I think I didn't protect him well, I didn't even know he existed, and before I had time to protect him and teach him those principles, he disappeared.

I called her, and I wanted to tell her how much I was looking forward to this baby.I want to see her, very much.

After I dialed the number, the person opposite was not her.That voice, I'm not mistaken.

It's ridiculous that there's another person by her side during those hours when I'm not there.

This is what happened before her birthday.

do you know?I always think about when you disconnected from her and we were together.But I waited and waited, but I didn't wait for this day.

Remember, this song?

So you are the luck I want to keep most

It turns out we were so close to love

The decision to fight the world for me

The rain that accompanied me

It's all about you

spotless sincerity

I used to like humming this song very much, you ask me why I always sing this song?Is it because you like this song?I didn't answer you.

Now I tell you, not because I like it, but because I like you.

This is my hidden confession.

Now I dare not sing this song again.

When I met you, I felt that I was lucky. I thought about trying my best to keep you. After we separated, I felt that I was not lucky at all when I met you. Later, I felt lucky again. Regardless of the process, regardless of gains and losses, That period of youth became alive with you, and I will remember it deeply in the future, thank you.

But, I cannot forgive you.

The author has something to say: This story ends here.

Hey, is it because I wrote too badly that no one...