Eat marrow and taste

When winter comes, Shen Yizhou no longer receives letters from Yan Ming.

The war has started again, and many things have stopped. Most of the news on the star network is occupied by messages from the front line.

Shen Yizhou gradually calmed down after the initial discomfort, and began his long wait.

When thinking about Yan Ming, Shen Yizhou will seriously consider what he will do in the future as he suggested.

[Everyone needs a goal, what you want to do, what kind of future you want to have, these are all things you need to seriously consider, Zhou Zhou, no matter what you want to do, I will support you. 】In the last letter sent, Yan Ming wrote this.

When Shen Yizhou read this passage, he stayed alone for quite a while, all he could think about in the future was being able to be by Yan Ming's side, doing whatever he wanted, as long as he needed himself.

But this idea is unrealistic in the end, if not for that lucky choice, he would never have had the chance to get close to the other party.

Yan Ming's identity and status, he is not worthy at all.

In this kind of long-term thinking, Shen Yizhou slowly felt that maybe entering the military academy was a good choice.

He learned that many military academies would recruit Omega, and the requirements for them were not as strict as those for Alpha and Beta, and it was not impossible to get in with his physical fitness.

On the battlefield, what Omega can do is to nurse and rescue the wounded, so it will be looked down upon by many soldiers, but these are not things that Shen Yizhou considers.As long as there is a possibility to stand by that person's side better, he will do his best.

But Shen Yizhou did not know until he heard the discussion from other older children that Omega would be required to be injected with certain pheromone inhibitors when entering the military academy. It's a forced choice.

He hesitated on this condition.

Sometimes he would hear some children laughing at himself behind his back, saying that he was not worthy of being matched with Yan Ming.But what no one knows is that he still has a bigger, stronger and more secret desire in his heart.

He wanted to truly become that person's appendage, imagine being thoroughly marked by that person as he knew in physiology class, conceive and bear children for him, and never separate every minute and every second.

Such fanatical thoughts made Shen Yizhou feel terrified, but he couldn't control his emotions, whenever he started to miss, these thoughts would frantically pop up in his heart.

Even though he knew that such a humble and lowly existence of himself might only be favored by Yan Ming for a while, and it was almost impossible to have a closer relationship with that person, he would still secretly prepare red paper and write on it Names of himself and Yan Ming, and then folded it into the size of a marriage certificate, and pressed it under his pillow to fall asleep.

He felt that he was having a grand dream, but the dream was so beautiful that he didn't want to wake up.

During the long wait, his thoughts gradually climbed to the peak. A few months later, the news of the end of the war came, and letters from other officers arrived here one after another. Shen Yizhou was excitedly looking forward to Yan Ming sending them to him. The letter, they talked about the space walk last time, don't know what it will be this time.

But he waited and waited, but the letter he had been waiting for for nearly half a year never came.

Shen Yizhou couldn't bear it anymore, he ran to the headmistress and asked her if there was any letter addressed to him.

After receiving the letter from the military, the headmistress called Shen Yizhou to her room with some embarrassment, and she tactfully conveyed the fact that Yan Ming died in battle.

She knew that it was difficult for these simple children to accept. Before Shen Yizhou, she had called several children to her room, and the officer they were matched with also died on the battlefield. The first reaction of all the children was It is crying, but after crying, after a while, these pains in growing up will be gradually forgotten.

But to the dean's surprise, Shen Yizhou in front of her didn't cry, he just looked at her a little confused, as if he didn't really believe this fact, his eyes seemed to suspect that it was a prank.

She comforted him a few more words, and found that the confusion in his eyes was gone, but he still didn't shed tears.

It wasn't until a while later that Shen Yizhou was found to have a serious mental disorder by the psychiatrist at the orphanage, and she later realized that the child was not untouched, but his scars were not visible to others. Just a place.

After a period of treatment, the child's psychological condition improved, and he finally got out of the haze. The headmistress breathed a sigh of relief.

In the summer of the following year, Shen Yizhou applied to study in a military academy. Others didn't think much of it. After all, his health has always been poor, but he didn't expect that after several rounds of selection, Shen Yizhou became an Omega with a pretty good result. One of the freshmen at Stell Military Academy, which many people did not expect.

When Shen Yizhou stepped into Steer's gate with all his belongings, he looked at the blue sky and the white clouds, and stood there for a long time before continuing to walk.

This is the military academy that Yan Ming once attended, and he is standing here now.

Those saddest days are over, his biggest wish now is to find that instructor named Bo Yuan, and he can leave after finishing the rest.

Fortunately, with the token left by Yan Ming and the pendant around his neck, he easily gained Bai Yuan's trust.

Everything went smoothly after that, Bai Yuan took good care of him in daily life and played the role of an excellent instructor.

But Shen Yizhou can still see the occasional loss of consciousness, guilt, and uneasiness in his eyes.

That's what he owes Yan Ming, Shen Yizhou thought.

Through his own efforts, and under his strong request, he let Bai Yuan take him to the battlefield.

Omega is timid by nature, not suitable for survival in such a fierce place where death can occur at any time.He was also very uncomfortable at first, and vomited several times looking at the dead body, but he was able to calm down gradually by constantly forcing himself.

He eavesdropped on the conversation of Bai Yuan, Ye Ze and others with a micro-instrument, and leaked the news to the enemy when they first acted.But when he saw the rescued Omega holding his child and crying, he suddenly began to hesitate.Even if he wanted to kill Bai Yuan, he couldn't implicate other people's lives.If Yan Ming knew that he had done these things, he would definitely blame himself.

In his introspection, he did not leak the news to the enemy about Bai Yuan's second surprise attack on the enemy, but this war did not last long, his opportunity was exhausted, and he returned to the original point.

Before he was caught by Bai Yuan, he finally got the situation of Yan Ming's death.

It's not that Bai Yuan used his body to block the guns as others said, it's all because he chose to leave the chance of living to his brothers who grew up with him.

He panicked all of a sudden, as if what he had been insisting on had been shattered.The moment he was exposed by Bai Yuan, his whole body trembled.

But what surprised him was that Bai Yuan did not hand him over to his superior because of this, but concealed what he had done and gave him a letter and a chance.

He read the contents of the letter over and over again all night, and realized that he had done many wrong things before dawn.

He is not afraid of anything, but he is afraid that even if he leaves this world, he will not be able to get Yan Ming's forgiveness.He wanted to obtain this unreachable understanding indirectly from Bai Yuan, so he inserted the knife into his abdomen, but it didn't hurt the vitals.

Everything was as he thought, after waking up, Bo Yuan completely forgave him, when he was left alone in the ward, Shen Yizhou laughed with tears at that moment.

When he stood on the battlefield again, Shen Yizhou no longer carried the hatred that almost crushed him.He had a hunch that the moment he was waiting for would not come too late.

When the dilapidated spaceship was set up and there was no way to escape, his heart was peaceful, and even overflowing with layer upon layer of joy.

He maintained this calm and changed into a spacesuit.The moment before he closed the zipper, he picked up the pendant on his chest to have a look, and suddenly thought of something that happened a long time ago.

The rainbow ball that Yan Ming gave him was lost, and he couldn’t find it after searching for a long time. He expressed his sadness in the letter, and Yan Ming replied to him in the letter. Sometimes, I will remember to help him get many rainbow balls.

After the memory was over, he sealed the pendant into the space suit, and after the helmet was fixed, he opened the hatch and landed to the target position little by little under the control of the joystick.

He could see Bai Yuan on the opposite side, and saw his dignified and shocked expression.

Although he felt sorry, he felt extremely relaxed all over.

At the moment of falling, what he thought of was still the day when he first met, the night with pure moonlight.

The cool breeze blowing slowly, the yellow ribbon fluttering, the man's broad back.

It was the most beautiful dream he had ever had, and now he was going back to it.