Can't say.

1.

I have suffered a lot in this life, and just thinking about it will bring tears to my eyes.

It is also a way to leave so unencumbered.

So good, so good.

2.

He met him once when he was out, skinny and muddy, with only a pair of eyes, like an unopened sword, not sharp, but surprisingly shiny.

He gave him the word "Darkness" as his name, and he took him back to the green mountain called Demon Cult. He put him in his sight strangely, and observed how he, a young life, behaved like this... Survive the situation.

He showed him unprecedented scenery.

3.

He vaguely remembered that it was a rainy night, he paced outside his room door on a whim in the quiet night with the bright moon hanging high, through a thin door panel, he heard his raving, he was struggling and shouting: "Father, mother ...help me, save me...father, mother..."

He stopped five feet away, he would rather he fell into a dream, and not wake up because of his approach, and have a sleepless night.

The next day, when the lights were off, he walked into the child's room with his quilt in his arms, "Hui'er, sleep with Master."

Yes, Master.

He took his still disgusting body into his arms and decided to take him as his disciple.

Regardless of the future, protect him now.

4.

The child grows very fast, and turns his head in the blink of an eye.

Only one thing has not changed.

That kid is a lone wolf.

He deserves to be lonely.

Every time he stood aside and looked at the three-foot green peak that was as tall as others waving with the arm like a dead branch, the child would turn his eyes away, and then walked to a farther and deeper place without saying a word, ignoring his stunned All the subordinates smiled.

Obviously, there are many teenagers in Qingshan who set time to practice swords in the martial arts field, but in the end he insisted on going to the ravine alone.

If someone came to talk to him, he would just walk away with a cold face without saying a word.

"You can't do this, you don't have any friends..." He told him more than once.

"I don't need friends." He replied more than once.

"Why are you so stubborn? You don't have any friends, what will you do in the future?" When he meets this child, he will always become a nagging old woman, "People are drifting in the rivers and lakes, brothers get stabbed twice, have you heard of it?"

"No." The child opened Bie Qingshan's hand to rub his head.

"Little wolf cub." Bie Qingshan rubbed him into his arms more forcefully, "You're so naughty..."

The child's body was soft, with a faint scent of soap locust after bathing, which made him lose his mind for a moment.

5.

In the boring first half of Bieqingshan's life, nothing but swords were swords.

Now, as if he had found a toy, he didn't want to take his eyes off for a moment.

No matter eating, sleeping, or practicing sword.

"Keep down a little more...yes, yes, use your wrists hard...spread your feet further..."

He was talking on the sidelines, and suddenly he felt like he was a father for the first time, and he smiled at him and said, "Hui'er, call me daddy?"

The child's sword-wielding hand paused for a moment, then continued to move.

"Hui'er, call me daddy." He was still relentless.

The child finally stopped, pursed his lips, and opened his mouth.

"What did you say?" He suspected that he didn't make a sound at all, otherwise with his hearing strength, how could he not be able to hear the sound, "Say it again?"

This time, he rolled his eyes.

He smiled even wider.

The child would roll his eyes at him.

6.

Ever since he learned how to roll his eyes, the cute expression came out in a flash.

On New Year's Day, he took him into the ancestral hall, where there were many memorial tablets of Qingshan Lords from past generations.

"Gentlemen of Qingshan in the past have been named after Qingshan, um...do you know that you don't want to be a son? Um...it's not important." He picked up bits and pieces and told him, including Qingshan. The layout of Qingshan, the personnel of Qingshan, the change of Qingshan, "If I have time, I will take you to the secret road for a walk, which is like a maze. Anyway, I walked three times before I remembered all the way."

He pulled him and knelt down on the futon, "Actually, what I said is available in the Burial Book Pavilion. If you want to know, you can go and see for yourself." He stuffed the three burning incense sticks into his hand, "Mmm. .....I only accepted you as an apprentice, and I probably won't accept any more in the future, ah..."

He scratched his hair, "I mean, um...my surname is Bie, Bie Qingshan, you, how about my surname?"

He blinked and looked at the child, watching his eye circles turn red little by little, and the tears in his eyes were about to fall.

"It's okay if you don't want to, it's okay..." He actually felt lost, tried to speak in a gentle way, and asked about his wishes, but the result was still unsatisfactory.

"No, I am willing." The child wiped his face and kowtowed three times, "Starting today, my name is Bie Hui..."

7.

It took him a long time to understand.

The reason why those tears exist is never because of resistance or emotion, but because of humiliation.

8.

Bie Hui is very smart and hardworking, although he had to go through the secret path five times before he figured it out.

"It's okay, you are already very good." He rubbed his hair, "I think back then, my master walked eight times."

The child held the sword, still sullen.

"Well...we won't study tomorrow, shall I take you down the mountain?"

He still kept his head down.

He looked to the side shadow for help.

Shadow shook his head at him and spread his hands.

"Um......"

9.

The next day, he took Bie Hui down the mountain. This was the first time the child went down the mountain after going up the mountain for two years.

"Hui'er, do you want candied haws?"

"Hui'er, do you want to eat fried chestnuts?"

"Hui'er, this suits you very well."

......

"Hui'er, look... Hui'er? Hui'er!"

When he turned around, he saw the torrent of people coming and going behind him, but the child was gone.

For the first time, he felt scared.

Even in the past when I was fighting with my master, when the sharp peak was only an inch away from my throat, I was never afraid.

"Hui'er! Hui'er! Hui'er!" He kept calling Bie Hui's name, but the endless crowd, the noisy streets, the chaotic smell...

shouldn't come.

He regretted it.

Shouldn't have come, shouldn't have gone down the mountain, shouldn't be without a shadow, shouldn't...

"Master!"

He looked up and saw his other side waving at him at the side of the alley opposite the flow of people.

"Master!"

Ignoring the surprised gazes of others, he stepped on the eaves with his toes and swept over, rubbing the child into his arms.

The hairpin he chose fell to the ground and broke into three pieces.

10.

From that day on, he knew he had gone astray.

However, Mr. Qingshan, who has never known the heights of the sky and the depths of the earth, never hesitated, and went deeper as soon as his eyes were darkened.

11.

"Hui'er, come and taste the plum wine brewed by Master." He found Bie Hui under the beautiful moonlight.

It was fifteen, and he would never forget it.

When the child said no, I persuaded him to drink glass after glass.

Until his cheeks were pink, he looked at his water-colored lips and felt stupid.

"Hi'er."

The child stared at him with innocent eyes, lying naked under him without any doubt or struggle.

"Hi'er..."

This year, estimated according to bone age, let alone 15 years old.

12.

Things changed from this day on.

He had no idea how this child was born so beautifully.

How did she grow into what he loved.

Long ago, when he took his hand for the first time, the child's soft hand was wrapped in his palm.

He could even hear his fast and vigorous heartbeat, and saw his little face turn red and feel the pulse in his hand.

He said, "From now on, this place will be your home."

There was strong resistance on the faces of the subordinates.

"Master, you can't..."

"I can." His loyal subordinate opened his mouth, trying to change his decision, as if he had expected the end, the horrible and sad situation.

He stubbornly kept him, became a master and apprentice, and even tried to become a father and son, trying to lie to himself that he never loved him.

The skinny little child was covered in bruises, red and white intertwined.

"Master..." He still called his master, but he could never do anything like the first time he held his hand, with no other thoughts and pure love.

13.

He never touched him again, and even deliberately alienated him.

He didn't want to ruin the kid.

He's so smart, so hardworking, and trying so hard to do everything he's given him.

"sorry."

Every time he leaned against the bed, he would think of him waking up in the morning and fleeing in a hurry, leaving the bewildered child alone, facing so many doubts and eyes.

"I'm sorry." He said sorry countless times in his heart, but he knew clearly: It's useless.

He had already rubbed the child's body all over, and trampled the cleanliness down to the bottom of his feet.

I am sorry.

The only thing he can do is to protect him, protect him until he dies, until he inherits Qingshan.

14.

Backfired.

In Qingshan's tenth year, the child became a victim in Qingshan's intensified internal strife, and was poisoned all over his body.

His loyal subordinates told him that training the boy to become a medicine man would save his life.

However, he was reluctant.

He has caused him to live so tired, how could he hurt him back.

Hiding behind the closed stone gate alone, hiding from everyone, he allowed all kinds of poisons to enter his body and blood to flow freely.

He suppressed all the screams in his heart, and sprinkled all the tears and blood throughout the cave bit by bit.

Until he finally trained himself as a medicine man and saved the child.

He really loved that child, and he couldn't bear his pain, he couldn't bear his pain.

He owed that child, even if he wanted to eat his flesh and thirst for his blood, he never complained.

15.

Don't forget about the 20-year-old crown ceremony, he tied his hair with his own hands, and gave him his Kunhuang.

"May you be safe and happy, and live a long life."

He stroked the top of his neck.

"May wherever you are, be always accompanied by warm light."

"May everything you want come true despite the ups and downs."

"May your loved ones..."

"May you..."

He emptied all his prayers over the years, this is my disciple, this is my parent-son, this is my beloved son, God must be partial, must have pity on him, so that he will be free from worry, sickness, disaster and pain .

16.

Bie Hui's figure gradually grew taller, and his facial features also grew.

Star eyes and sword eyebrows.

But I don't know whether it was Kun Huang who robbed the bright light in his eyes, or the flowers and plants on the green hills robbed his aura.

He still thinks, don't change your mind.

A child's heart was completely filthy when he didn't know it.

He watched him learn to steal classics and buy people's hearts bit by bit.

Until his subordinates knelt in front of him: "Pavilion Master, Master Hui..."

He waved his hand, "I know."

"Master, you..."

He waved his hand again, "I know."

He knew it from the beginning, but he chose to let it go. There were so many candidates for Lord Qingshan in the past, but there was only one Lord Qingshan.

He can choose to give up and accept another disciple, but he chooses not to give up. He will always only have that one child, and only the one whom he tried to cover up with the word "dark" has come to his heart.

"Kun Huang...Kun Huang...", he picked up the plum wine on the small table beside him, "Don't be oblivious, master is wrong, don't be oblivious, master is wrong... ..”

About a long time ago, he had been so wrong, but there was no way, how could he control his heart...