Xiyang Mourning

Since I met him in Zheng Yang's office that time, I haven't appeared in front of him again. He doesn't know that I'm staying in his company like a stalker, and then follow him until he's ready to go home.

I watched him buy wine, and I watched him bewildered and mumbling after being drunk through the camera that he didn't know. My heart ached, but I knew I couldn't be soft-hearted.What's more, even if I appear, it will still bring him pain.

I touched his face through the screen, and I seemed to be back in that room again. I watched him struggle in front of the screen, saw him suffering and powerless.

The only difference is... That time it was forced, this time it was my will.I'm like a wolf, watching my target fall into my trap cold-bloodedly, the only difference is that I love him and hate myself.

But I also know that that is the only way, the only way to get him.It's funny, when I tried my best to torture him because I hated him; now I love him, but I still torture him.

Zheng Yang doesn't know that I drink with him again and again, get drunk with him, drink red wine mixed with Sprite into my stomach like I do with him, nostalgic for that drunkenness and that gentle kiss.

Maybe this can make me happy, at least let me paralyze myself, I am suffering with the person I love, that will make me love him more and eliminate some of my meanness.

I was drunk, and vaguely remembered the things I did and the people I saw a few days ago.

I was surprised to see that person, it was a person named Qing Ye, I knew that person Zheng Yang trusted, and he participated in the rescue.

I looked at Zheng Yang next to me in surprise, could it be that Qing Ye belonged to Zheng Yang?Such assumptions make me a little creepy. If he is the same, is there anyone trustworthy around Zheng Yang?

Zheng Yang seemed to see what I was thinking, and he told me with a smile that Qing Ye was not one of them, and that Qing Ye was willing to help us only for the good of Zheng Yang.

A family has many unexplainable relationships. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to do a small favor that won't damage the followers, let alone a favor that is beneficial to the Patriarch.

Maybe he was right, I told him my plan and what he should do, and the reason for doing so, he thought for a long time, until the cup of coffee in front of me was completely cold before nodding his head.

So I could see the scene of Zheng Yang in the villa, because there are many cameras in there, and I met another person after a day.

She was a beautiful woman. I spent a day with her. I thought of many ways to get her to agree. Unexpectedly, I told her a general idea and the reason, and she agreed. There was no use of coercion or lure from me.

The only condition is that she should spend a huge amount of pension and be with her lover aboveboard, and have fun everywhere.

She said "May all lovers in the world get married", I replied that I only care about me and Zheng Yang, the lovers, and I don't care about the rest.Then she smiled, beautifully, and said she did the same.

I looked at Zheng Yang's drunken appearance, leaned over to kiss him through the screen, and finally the whole screen was covered with my saliva, so I called Qing Ye in a daze and said it was ok.

After a long time, he secretly asked me why I was so sure that Zheng Yang would accept Ye Yu.I laughed and said I knew it.

It's just that he didn't know that when I made this decision, my hands were shaking and my back was wet.I'm just betting that Zheng Yang will leave behind everything related to me, when he has nothing.

If I won the bet, I would hold Zheng Yang in my arms; if I lost the bet, I would cry silently and then rack my brains to think of a way.

Then I won the bet, I should be thankful that there was nothing missing in the luggage that Zheng Yang gave me, even though I was so uncomfortable at the beginning.

Ye Yu entered the villa, I watched Zheng Yang's surprised expression on the screen after eating, and I was proud of myself while eating.

It's not in vain that I spent so many days teaching Ye Yu my cooking methods and seasonings. The result is that Ye Yu's dishes are not very similar to mine, but they still have that similar feeling.

Since I put MSG as salt when I made egg fried rice, I never put MSG again.But I don’t know if it’s not a lot, so Zheng Yang never knew.

After coming here for a day or two, I will cook one or two dishes that Zheng Yang likes and mix them with Ye Yu's dishes, and then gradually, all the dishes on the table will be cooked by me.

Such a thing is very happy, as if I still live here, but the only flaw is that I can't watch Zheng Yang eat, even if I can rewind the playback later.

Once I just finished cooking and was admiring the meals I cooked when Zheng Yang came back. I squatted carefully in an empty cupboard. I am very fortunate that there is a lot of space in the cupboards in the kitchen, otherwise...

I should also be thankful that when I was cooking, I always let Ye Yu quietly pay attention to whether Zheng Yang came back on the second floor. Maybe my ancestors said "plan for a rainy day"

In those days, while I secretly cooked for Zheng Yang, I racked my brains to recall the mental journey of me and Zheng Yang in these years, and I wrote down all the emotions I had.

It was a sad thing. I recalled everything about me, the beauty I was willing to face, and the sadness I didn't want to recall, and then wrote it down.

It felt like self-abuse, not to mention that I had to pretend to be myself at that time.Pretending to be the Cheng Xi who hated him and tormented Zheng Yang, after I fell in love with him.

That was retribution. Back then, I would never have thought that I would fall in love with Zheng Yang, or even love him.Tears are dripping, ah men don't flick their tears easily, but they haven't reached the sad place.

I wrote down my unwillingness, I wrote down my loneliness and hatred, I told about my hatred, my entanglement, and my guilt towards Qin Haoyu.

But I can't write how much I love him now, how much I regret what I have done, because I love Zheng Yang, so I want to untie his knot, I can't tell him what I am now, I can only tell about myself That hazy love at the beginning.

I gave Ye Yu the notebook filled with my entanglement, sadness and despair, and asked her to put it in my former bedroom. With her means, she would naturally pretend to be there all the time.

Then I called Qin Haoling and asked him to fulfill his promise and give Qin Ling to me.

At that time, the Qin family did not expect Zheng Yang's revenge to be so fierce. They notified Zheng Yuan to come back because they hoped that Zheng Yuan would abide by that family rule, but unfortunately Zheng Yuan did not.He just told Zheng Yang, gave a warning and contacted me quietly.

When Qin Haoling was in a state of desperation, I asked Zheng Yang to call Qin Haoling's fiancée Xie Yinuo and have a good talk with her, and finally she persuaded Qin Haoling to accept our terms.

I asked Zheng Yang to give up his actions against the Qin family, and he gave Qin Ling to me.

I watched Zheng Yang find the notebook under Ye Yu's inadvertent guidance, watched him collapse, I bit my lip, told myself over and over again to break and break and then stand, and then brought Qin Ling to the villa.

I looked at Qin Ling and reminded him of many things, let him review it over and over again, I knew how painful it was, I bit my arm, tears flowed into the wound, the burning pain seemed to flow into my heart.

In the end, I asked Ye Yu to give me a blanket to cover him. I stroked Zheng Yang's hair and let him sleep.I hummed a lullaby, over and over, even though he couldn't hear it.

I thank the small amount of sleeping pills in the meal today, which made him fall asleep, and I sat with him all night.In the early hours of the morning I kissed his forehead.

"Come on, wait for me" I said to him.

Then I picked up the blanket and watched him flinch slightly because of this action, feeling a little sad.There are some things he can't let him know, like the lullaby tonight and the blanket in my hand, and everything I've done.

I know that this is the best choice, but I still can't help but feel distressed.

I feel sorry for him, and I also feel sorry for myself.

Afterwards, Zheng Yang would have a small amount of sleeping pills in his meals every day, and every night Qin Ling would guide his dreams in his dreams after he fell asleep, and I just watched from the screen.

I was afraid that I would watch him in pain and couldn't help but give up, and couldn't help stopping Qin Ling.

Finally Zheng Yang couldn't take it anymore, he asked Qing Ye to consult a psychiatrist, and then saw Qin Ling.I watched Qin Ling say the shameless and despicable lines I had arranged.

"You want to be by his side forever, no matter what embarrassing things happen?"

"You don't want him to be sad, anyone is not allowed to make him sad"

"But you made him sad, Zheng Yang..."

"We met in his coffee shop. He sat in a window seat in the coffee shop and told his clerk something. The second time was at the bar. He was drunk and admitted the wrong person. Cried and told me something and we became friends."

"He said he knew a liar named Zheng Yang"

"He also said he was sorry for you, and...he loved you"

I cried at the end, for my own meanness with Jung Yang's answer.I turned off the screen after Qin Ling left the room, I was afraid to see Zheng Yang's appearance at that time.

I saw Zheng Yang at the door of the coffee shop the next day, and after several days, I knew he was willing to accept me.

For many days, I secretly looked at that car, imagining that Zheng Yang would get out of the car, with his back to the sun like a god, but no, not once.

In the end, I couldn't help asking Su Chang to bring a cup of coffee and a note, but when he looked at me in surprise, I saw him drive away at an extreme speed, and the cup of coffee of love was also poured on me. on him.

I didn't turn on the monitoring screen, or I never turned it on after he met Qin Ling.I held the mouse until the mouse was wet with sweat, and it still didn't turn on.

It was only later that I realized what I had missed, so that I secretly reviewed the monitoring of that day again and again. Zheng Yang was drooling while cooking.

The next day I was in a daze and missed the picture I had fantasized for a long time, when I watched Zheng Yang push open the glass door and walk towards me.

I thought I was going to scream, I was going crazy with joy, and in the end it was just a smile; I thought I was going to talk a lot, I was going to tell him all about me, and in the end I could only think of one sentence.

"You're here"

"Yes, here I come... my master."

Perhaps this is the most beautiful ending outlined by the simplest expression and the simplest vocabulary.

My secret is over, did you laugh?