Xinhua Road

In the evening, I packed up, lying on the bed and scrolling through WeChat, and saw that Meng had posted a happy birthday Moments, I left a message: Happy birthday.Dream back: Thank you beauty.Let me go back: I ordered a birthday present for my little lover today, and I would have ordered one for you if I had known.

Not long after, he sent me a message on WeChat asking me, "Is my little lover your nephew?"

I smiled back: "You don't always think I'm unmarried, do you?"

Dream: "How can a person who can drink a bottle of Lanling Chenxiang not have a story?" I remembered that when we had dinner with him for the first time, I blurted out that I once drank a whole bottle of Lanling Chenxiang, and I was so drunk I don't remember the taste, I only remember the taste of the tubes all over my body.

Strange to say, I was only half suicidal when I was drunk, because I didn't prepare at all and didn't write a suicide note. It was uncontrollable sadness that made me choose that path.The ending was unexpected. I was rescued in a half-dead and drunk state.The moment I opened my eyes, I saw a vast expanse of whiteness in front of me. If it weren't for the severe stomach pain that pulled my eyes back to my parents who were frowning, I really thought I was dead, and this place was heaven.

I forcefully pinched my nose and poured that bottle of wine into my stomach. The fearless courage at that time made me feel nauseous when I smell the liquor now.Time is the only good medicine to heal the wounds of the soul. That day I actually blurted out the greatest sadness I had ever seen in a dream that I only met once.I still remember a sentence he said at the time: no matter how sad you are, you can tell it as a joke afterwards.

So when Meng mentioned that incident, I didn't feel sad, so I replied to him: I didn't know where the courage came from at the time, so I drank it. I wanted to die, but I didn't expect to be still in the world.

The dream replied: Suicide is the most selfish expression.

Me: Zifeiyu.

Dream: Like a fish drinking water, it knows how warm it is.

me: ah.At this point I looked at the time, it was already eleven forty at night.

I then sent a message: Why are you still awake?

Dream: Today is my birthday, stay with me to watch the year.

I chatted with him about some other things, (as for the other things, I really don’t remember, anyway, I stayed with him until after twelve o’clock) At twelve o’clock, I said that the task is completed, congratulations, you are old again one year old.He replied: A man has 41 flowers, and I am still a flower bud, ready to bloom.I replied with a few cold sweat expressions and fell asleep.

The most bitter feeling in this world is self-love. Just after I thought that I would stay with my dream, there should be some differences between him and me. Who would have thought that he had no news again, and he didn't talk to me again, my friend The circle also rarely likes and writes comments.I was lost for many hours.At that time, I thought that people's hearts are really difficult to see through, and my heart is really changeable.

Another two days have passed. To be honest, when I think of Meng, those two days are a bit longer than usual, because I always hope that Meng will send me a message, even if it is just an expression, it will be diluted to some extent. This inexplicable ending.But he didn't send anything, and I gradually stopped waiting while waiting.

On New Year's Day, I participated in a promotion meeting of a scenic spot and went to Yanzhou Xinglong Cultural Park, which is a Buddhist cultural base. Because a relic was found during the demolition, I invested in the construction of such a magnificent Buddhist garden.I have been here once before, and the four statues of Sakyamuni in it have set a Guinness World Record, which is spectacular.

After arriving at the scenic spot, I first posted a circle of friends, and saw Meng's message again: You should post a location anyway.I sent him a short video, telling him where this is, and his reply was only one word "oh".I don’t know what other people understand about this word that appeared in the WeChat chat. In my opinion, it is the end of the chat. Besides, Meng hasn’t said a word to me, so this word means that she doesn’t want to say a word to me.I think it's time to end all expectations and fantasies.

I took a deep breath and looked at a group of laughing arhats to sort out my mood.Looking for the row of prayer wheels around the magnificent scenic spot under construction is not for anything else, just to match the poem written by Tsangyang Gyatso:

That day, I closed my eyes in the incense mist of the scripture hall,

Suddenly heard the truth in your chanting;

In that month, I shook all the prayer wheels,

Not for excess, just to touch your fingertips;

That year, kowtowing on the mountain road,

Not for an audience, just to stick to your warmth;

In that life, turning mountains and rivers and pagodas,

Not to cultivate the afterlife, just to meet you on the way

In that month, I lightly turned all the prayer wheels,

Not for extension, just for touching your fingerprint;

That year, I kowtowed and embraced the dust,

Not for pilgrimage to Buddha, just for your warmth;

In that life, I rummaged through hundreds of thousands of mountains,

Not for the afterlife, just for meeting you on the way;

But, on that night, I forgot everything,

Abandoning faith, abandoning reincarnation,

Only for the rose that wept before the Buddha,

has lost its luster

I found the prayer wheel and took a small video and distributed the poem. I don't know who I can meet when I travel around the mountains and rivers, but I know that one day someone will turn to me, not for others. Yes, just for that simple encounter.