Let me live [Quick Transmigration]

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Zuo Nian talked to himself in his diary to vent his emotions. Of course, he didn’t want others to understand. When he wrote about Zhou Zeyao, he used “z” as a pronoun. Others were either surnames or just a pronoun. It was fragmented, which made Lu You dizzy, and it was only after the second time that he sorted out all the previous situations.

Zuo Nian is not a child born with blessings in a normal family.His mother was extremely beautiful, with a proud and proud heart. She picked out a thousand suitors and found a man who was very agreeable in appearance, personality and family background, and made a heart-to-heart.She had been living smoothly before, but this time she lost her sight: the man was handsome, rich, funny, and gentle, and it was true, but he was a married man, and there was a naive, deceitful, single-minded man in another city. wife, and a pair of young children.

The two of them have been in love for more than a year. During this period, the wife came to visit relatives every month. The man was also very skillful and kept his lover and wife in the dark.Later, because she was pregnant, she noticed something was wrong from the man's indifferent attitude, and hired a private detective to investigate -- no matter how serious she thought, that is, the man had a lover outside, and when she found out that she It was the "lover", and the whole person was stupid.

When the incident broke out, the man resolutely distanced himself from her, and swore that the prodigal son would come back from now on, so the wife forgave him crying, let him go home and reconcile, and even comforted her husband's lover in every possible way, giving her a happy ending. Big money as compensation.She couldn't let go of her posture and tear her face to retaliate against them, and she couldn't think about what she did to a third party unintentionally, and gradually something was wrong.

She didn't know who she was angry with, she didn't take any money, she didn't listen to advice, she also severed ties with her family, and forced to give birth to the child in her stomach, named it Zuo Nian, and planned to take care of him to grow up alone.Her mental state was good and bad, when it was good she had an indifferent attitude, and when it was bad she was hysterical. Zuo Nian grew up stumbling in such a bad environment, and developed a character of weakness and tolerance for everything, and an extreme desire for warmth.

When Zuo Nian was in junior high school, a new family moved in next door, and the son of that family was Zhou Zeyao.Zhou's mother is a kind person. After communicating with her a few times, she found out that Zuo Nian's mother was unreliable. She felt very sorry for Zuo Nian. After that, she often asked him to come to her home for dinner, and asked her son who was in high school to take care of him.At that time, Zhou Zeyao was the standard image of the brother next door, sunny and handsome, full of patience, he accepted Zuo Nian as his little tail without any complaints, and took him with him to various parties.

Zuo Nian was treated with unprecedented tenderness, and he wished he could not become a real member of the Zhou family. It was at this stage that he noticed his own special inclination, and he naturally fell in love with Zhou Zeyao.

Lu You's understanding of this is that Zhou Zeyao really didn't use his brain at this time, and he didn't notice Zuo Nian's thoughts, but just treated him as a younger brother.This kind of life lasted for two years. Zhou Zeyao graduated from high school and went to other places to go to university.They were apart for a period of time, during which time each of their lives changed dramatically.

Zuo Nian's mother had been in poor health since giving birth to him, and finally failed to persist until he became an adult, leaving him behind and passed away.There has never been any news from his father, Zuo Nian has become a lonely family since then, his mother's former suitors no longer send money, and the original compensation has long been used up.Because of a odd job in the studio, he was discovered by the teacher there and embarked on the road of painting.And Zhou Zeyao...he had a girlfriend in college.

In Zuo Nian's diary, she only mentioned that girl vaguely once. I don't know if it's because she doesn't want to admit her existence, or because she is really puzzled.However, it was this girl who showed Zhou Zeyao the scenery of a world that existed in the shadows, but Zhou Zeyao did not try to avoid it, but quickly immersed himself in it, distorting...or, exposing his true nature.

In Zuo Nian's eyes, the one who came back to him was the same little brother from before, who cared for him the most, would lead him to experience things that he dared not try alone, and was always gentle and patient.He carefully hid his secret love, lest he would lose his current relationship if he was disliked.However, from the details of some incidents he accidentally wrote down, Lu You could deduce that Zhou Zeyao might have discovered Zuo Nian's longing for him shortly after their reunion.

On the surface, that person behaved the same, completely ignorant.But he started to borrow money from Zuo Nian, occasionally repaying a little and then borrowing more; he took Zuo Nian to the bar to meet "friends", go out for dinner, go swimming, and go to parties in private villas, and those "friends" take off a little/ Don't hang up, surround Zuo Nian and ask him to draw sketches for them...

Zuo Nian was taken by Zhou Zeyu to participate in various activities, but he had to find time to paint. The money he earned from selling works and receiving various outsourcing services online, except for rent and buying painting materials, was basically invested in Zhou Zeyu. As long as you get a small gift that is worthless from him, you can be happy alone for half a day.

He probably wasn't really so dull, he didn't realize that Zhou Zeyao just wanted to use him.But the sweetness he paid for his loved one made him subconsciously ignore all abnormalities.After Zhou Zeyao broke up with his ex-girlfriend, he didn't interact with others for a long time. This also gave Zuo Nian a little humble expectation, looking forward to a response——

He couldn't wait for a response.Zhou Zeyao found a new girlfriend later.The beautiful and lovely girl from a wealthy family, standing next to him, seemed like a perfect couple.After getting the news that they might get married soon, Zuo Nian finally couldn't wait any longer.

"If he really becomes someone else's husband, I will definitely give it up... No matter how painful it is, I will never see him again in this life." It was written in the last diary, some of the delicate small characters were watermarked Blurred, "Don't be like Mommy..."

"Is this feeling unwilling? But, I don't know what to do..."

The day after writing these words, Zuo Nian received an invitation from Zhou Zeyao.Zuo Nian went to the box in the nightclub.Two months after writing these words, Zuo Nian climbed over the guardrail on the edge of the roof of a high-rise building in the middle of the night. His body fell from a height of more than ten floors, experienced a short flight, and bloomed in the deserted street. Come.

His last wish was just to confess to the person he had been secretly in love with for so many years.

I used to like you...

Lu You closed the diary.The good mood he had before entering the door disappeared, and he felt a little blocked.However, he seemed to understand why Zuo Nian made such a wish.

For the dead "Zuo Nian", remorse and remembrance, truth and revenge are actually meaningless.He doesn't care if someone else plays him to achieve success and fame.The only regret he wants to make up for is that he has loved for so long and never said it.He puts his position very low, regards it as a shameful and dirty feeling, and hides it tightly, so the other person can always turn a blind eye and let him down with his acquiescence.

Would it have made a difference if he had said...?

Speak up and complete this obsession.After this, it's all over.

Don't care about the response, don't look forward to the future, except for the reason that "it is meaningless to the dead"... Probably, at the last moment of life, this person who has been living in self-deception and satisfaction finally understands something.

Lu You lowered his head and looked at a photo that had been clipped in the paper as a bookmark.In the photo, Zhou Zeyao was still a high school student with a bright smile, while Zuo Nian, who was hugged by him on the shoulder, was like a timid little rabbit, smiling embarrassedly with his lips pursed.The two looked young and happy.

Lu You put the photo back into the diary, and stuffed the diary back into the secret compartment.Then he leaned back, kicked off his shoes, fell on the cold sheets, rolled around twice, and then lay quietly, staring at the light cast by the bedside lamp on the opposite wall.After a while, he still sighed softly because of the inconsolable resentment in his heart.

Zuo Nian can be regarded as seeing it...

——In other words, he won't mind what to do with that garbage after completing the "task", right?

Lu You turned off the bedside lamp, grabbed the quilt at the foot of the bed, wrapped it up, and curled up.It's not comfortable to sleep with clothes on, but he doesn't want to change at all.He pulled up the collar of his T-shirt to cover his nose and mouth, smelling the warm breath on it.This calmed him down, and he slowly wandered elsewhere.

——The task time limit mentioned by Jiuwu is probably before Zhou Zeyao gets married?Zuo Nian is very concerned about this matter... I don't know if that girl is Zhou Zeyao's kind, or is she also deceived by his appearance?Going to find out, if you are also a victim...

——If Zhou Zeyao can't get married, can the time limit be dragged on forever?Probably not such a good thing...

——By the way, Zuo Nian in the photo actually looks quite similar to him...but the outline is softer, looks like a girl...

Lu You thought about it, and fell asleep unconsciously.When I woke up again, it was dark outside and the room was pitch black.His body was stiff from sleeping, and he sat up dizzily, feeling that the pain in his waist and legs seemed to have eased a little, but his throat was a little dry, as if he was about to catch a cold.

He searched for shoes by the edge of the bed for a long time, and finally remembered that he had kicked them away, so he had to run barefoot to the other side of the room to put on them.After squatting for a while and then standing up, when the dizziness passed, Lu You suddenly noticed that there seemed to be someone on the balcony next door.

He pushed open the balcony sliding door, walked out, was shivered by the cool night wind, turned his head, and saw Duan Sheng.At first he thought Duan Sheng was smoking while leaning against the edge of the balcony, and wondered why he didn't smell the smoke, but when Duan Sheng straightened up and smiled at him, Lu You realized that he was holding a white chocolate bar in his mouth .

"Did you just wake up?" He said, took out a box of chocolate bars from his pocket, shook it, and handed it to Lu You - the doors of their two houses are side by side, and the balcony of the bedroom is also side by side, but the balcony The outside is tightly sealed by a ring of anti-theft windows, and it is impossible to climb through. You can only do things like passing chocolate bars through the gap.Lu You said "um", with a nasal sound in his voice, just as he was about to reach out to grab it, Duan Sheng retracted his hand again, and frowned slightly.

"Why do you have a cold?" he asked.

"No." Lu You said, feeling that his slightly hoarse voice was not convincing, "I just woke up..." He added half a sentence, "It's a bit cold at home."

After he finished speaking, he felt a little regretful: This doesn't seem like an obvious hint, does it?But Duan Sheng didn't say anything about it, but the smile he showed again had a little more magical meaning, and the smile made people almost become angry from embarrassment. "Go and boil some water to drink. Put on your coat and don't catch a cold." He said, as if he was a little helpless at the neglect of the person in front of him. "Would you like to have dinner together later?"

Lu You wanted to jokingly reply "I have a cold and you invited me out", but felt that their conversation was going to enter the flirtatious phase if it continued like this. In the end, he didn't have the nerve to say it, but just nodded.

Duan Sheng moved his fingertips slightly, looking at the sleepy and confused expression of the person behind the railing, the natural smile when talking to him, the clothes that were a little wrinkled from sleeping, and the soft clothes that were curled up. Hair... A childish impulse rose in the man's heart, and he wanted to immediately remove the anti-theft window in the middle, so that he could carry him from that deserted and empty room to his own home.

Such an unreasonable impulse, of course, can only be held back.Duan Sheng didn't notice that he was already sticking too close to the railing. "So...see you in half an hour?" he asked.

Lu You remembered something: "I need to charge my phone first..."

"Half an hour is enough." Duan Sheng said.

Lu You laughed. "Okay then." He replied, then leaned against the railing, stretched out his hand, and poked Duan Sheng's arm propped on it from the gap between the railings. "The clothes are all stained with dust." He said with a smile, he didn't seem to notice Duan Cheng's gaze staring at him, and he retreated into the room without further pause after saying this.In just a few steps, the sliding door and the wall blocked the line of sight between them.

Duan Sheng waited until he could no longer see him, took a step back and raised his arms, and looked at the ashes on his sleeves for a few seconds. "It's a bit embarrassing." He muttered, and unconsciously wanted to laugh, so he wiped off those few gray marks and prepared to go back.It's just that when he turned around, something he saw from the corner of his eye made him pause, and he returned to the edge of the balcony again.

An unfamiliar car slowly drove away from the building, stopped for a while when it reached the corner, as if waiting for something, and then drove away without any abnormality.