Let me live [Quick Transmigration]

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"You don't remember it because it hasn't happened to you—"

Qi Zhengyun heard his own voice say such words.There was a cold and numb feeling in the back of his mind, but his body seemed to be left with only the outermost thin shell. The voice did not pass through the vocal cords of the lips, but came from somewhere further inside. The syllables all echoed repeatedly inside this empty shell.

He once confessed to Lu You that he was a monster. In that living room, Lu You touched his scales out of curiosity, and calmly accepted the fact that he was not human.When offended or hurt, Lu You will be more inclined to give in if giving in can solve the problem.Convincing himself to accept reality seems to be an easier and less labor-intensive option for him than to confront aggressively.

So Qi Zhengyun believed that he would not choose to end his life on his own initiative.If he climbed onto the ledge that day and really jumped down, he must have felt that it was possible to escape, and it was worth risking a little life, rather than wanting to die than being imprisoned.Keeping silent, refusing to eat, forcing the prisoner to choose between his life and his own purpose-it seems to be a decisive confrontational gesture, but in fact it also means that even at that point, He still believes that the monster that imprisoned him can communicate, and believes that if he endures it all the time, it will be possible to wait for the other party's compromise.

——This is also because the prisoner he faces is a monster that is absolutely irresistible with reason.If it were replaced by a human being like him, Lu You would give up hope for the mercy of the enemy and take a more violent way to resist.Qi Zhengyun was able to confirm this because he had personally experienced it in a previous reincarnation where he tried to completely conceal his identity.The result of that time made Qi Zhengyun feel that the cold war is at least better than direct confrontation-if we can always avoid confrontation, it may be the right way to reach our goal.

But he didn't think about it, sometimes it's not that he wants to continue to endure, so he can endure it.Even though the peaceful dream created by the siren's song delayed time, even though the will was not ready to give up, the spirit was collapsing under the continuous oppression.At this moment, the person in front of Qi Zhengyun has a normal and steady breathing and heartbeat, and his eyes are still bright, but it has slowly begun to cool down like the last residual heat before the charcoal fire is extinguished; The finally disheartened soul seems ready to hide deep in the body, never to emerge again where it can be touched.

Such Lu You made Qi Zhengyun feel an unprecedented cold panic.At this moment, he suddenly thought of the hunk of meat lying motionless on the bed accumulating dust and yearning for death in the ward of the game; then what emerged in front of his eyes was a huge and bright red heart that was beating slowly, where human beings were killed. The love that refused to let go turned into a monster; with a distorted but stubbornly smiling face, the monk in white opened his blood-stained lips and said firmly to him, "You and I are the same"——

Qi Zhengyun tightly clenched Lu You's hand, he seemed to have forgotten to control his strength, until he heard the overwhelmed sound of the squeezed bones between his fingers.Even people who are sleepwalking should be awakened by the pain, but Lu You didn't seem to feel it. He just looked at him with doubts and curiosity, as if he was looking at something new—it was getting harder and harder to stare at him. Cover up out of control.Qi Zhengyun saw a hazy and beautiful silver-blue shimmer in the depths of Lu You's eyes, like the surface of the sea with mist rising under the moonlight.

The glimmer was not an illusion—whatever broke the barrier and woke Lu You from a sleep that should have lasted for a long time did not seem to completely expel the power of the siren.Maybe Lu You didn't even realize that his consciousness had returned to reality, and thought he was in a dream where he shouldn't feel pain.

Lu You's lips were red, and there was a slight blush on his cheeks.In just a few seconds, the originally cool skin became hot for no apparent reason.Qi Zhengyun felt that the heat was like a red-hot knife, cutting into his body from where the skin touched, and the phantom pain made him almost want to howl out loud—but in fact, the sound he made was like It is as humble as a person muttering to himself.

"When I first met you, I was still like a beast. I didn't understand what emotion is, but I just imitated human actions step by step..."

But it was him like that, but someone was willing to smile gently at him.Qi Zhengyun stared at Lu You's calm face, feeling something blocking his throat.The language, however, was not hindered in any way. He actively formed words from syllables and gathered words into sentences with self-awareness. He couldn't wait to pour out of his lips, like clear water flowing out of a bag with a hole in it.he went on.

"I'll take you to the deep sea. You give me permission..."

The depth of the seabed has never been measured, and the light only comes from those little jellyfish floating around.It is obviously impossible, but he feels that the body temperature of a human being is enough to raise the temperature of the entire sea area.What filled his heart was a kind of too pure emotion, calling it lust|desire or love didn't seem to fit.He had left, wandered far away, tried to forget in his sleep, but in the end he returned to the same place.

A world forgotten and never recognized.A world filled with the smell of blood and sweetness, and a world that single-mindedly pursues satiation.A world where the lines between fake and real are blurred.With death comes a world seduced by immortality.The wandering world.And this, seems to be a bitter world that exists to torture each other.

Go on in one breath, no matter how chaotic your thoughts are.Maybe sometimes there would be some incoherent speech, but Qi Zhengyun didn't notice it himself.Qi Zhengyun realized that he had also reached the brink of collapse—one step earlier than Lu You.

Feeling unbearable, he began to want to compromise. This is exactly the result Lu You expected... The person who has been passive all this time has finally become the winner.Although this long overdue victory is like a feast that no one enjoys, it will only bring a feeling of sadness.

Now that everything is about to come to an end, what changes can be brought about by revealing all the antecedents?Qi Zhengyun is not sure if he ever hoped to be understood at a certain moment. For Lu You who has no memory of love, perhaps no matter what the reason is, he can't eliminate the fear and loathing he once brought.Along with mentioning the possibility of future reconciliation, it is a betrayal of oneself in this moment.

In fact, Qi Zhengyun wanted to ask rather than confiding that he seemed to want to win sympathy by exhibiting his pain—he had countless questions in his mind, but he didn't know who to turn to for answers.Even looking back at the past, it is no longer possible to find the original mood from those blurred sources.The two of them are in such a tangled situation, is it because of his weakness and greed?Lu You's forbearance and stubbornness?The unreasonable rules of this world itself?Or is it the hand that secretly promotes the progress of the plot behind the scenes and is complacent about the fun of it——

I want Lu You to live.I want Lu You to love him.I want to have a happy reunion after making up for the shortcomings.These expectations can obviously be met at the same time, why when they are entangled with each other, the ending will run counter to each other because of the subtle emphasis on differences?

Is it forgivable to take extreme measures along the way for ultimate happiness?Is it permissible to eliminate all other possibilities in advance for the only future in expectation-even if it is sure that it will be the happiness of both parties?

These questions turned into roars, the sound of thunder and floods destroying the world, echoed in Qi Zhengyun's ears, every time he opened his mouth, it seemed that he couldn't wait to turn into a questioning roar, expressing this possibly meaningless Interrupt——It is meaningless to discuss whether confessing earlier will change the ending, because even if he said everything frankly, Lu You might not be able to hear him at such a short distance.At this time, he has not yet become a voter, and as the object of the mission, he is not allowed to know the information of the higher world.

Perhaps he is chattering endlessly at the moment, but what Lu You hears is complete death-like silence, it is not impossible...

But when he finally stopped, he had already finished talking about the whole past.Qi Zhengyun felt an unreal thirst and the calmness of waiting for a verdict.He closed his mouth, and all the clamoring questions suddenly fell silent at this moment, as if many pairs of dark eyes were anxiously watching the next reaction of the listener together with him.

Lu You didn't interrupt him from the beginning to the end, and didn't give any question or rebuttal. Rather than saying that he was listening quietly, it might be closer to the fact that he didn't hear him at all.Qi Zhengyun's hand was still on his wrist and did not leave. The skin of the two people who were close to each other became moist due to the heat, as if they were glued together.The silence at this moment made Qi Zhengyun's eyes start to swell, but it didn't seem like a sign that tears were about to burst out of despair.

Their eyes met in the dark.Qi Zhengyun knew that Lu You had been listening, although he didn't know how much he had heard.He didn't ask anything, but he was delusional to get an answer, asking for the tacit understanding that was snuffed out before the bud because of his actions, and miraculously woke up at this moment to play a role.

The silver-blue shimmer shone in the depths of Lu You's pupils, perhaps it was the reflection of the frozen emotional ice.After tens of seconds of long silence, he opened his lips and took a light breath before speaking.The other hand that was not held was tightly clenched in the gap between the body and the armrest of the sofa, and there was an insignificant stabbing feeling of a hard object in the palm.

"So... I was going to die that day, and you wanted to save me." He whispered, his tone strangely calm; Qi Zhengyun hoped that it was the sequelae of the siren's dream being forcibly broken, rather than the spirit that exceeded the limit. Lost sense of normal, "If I can live... that future where we love each other will happen?"

Qi Zhengyun wanted to nod, but a certain premonition made him hesitate.The previous smile on Lu You's lips had disappeared completely at some point, and his expression showed a bit of coldness amidst the solemnity. "I don't know what you experienced in the 'future' I experienced before I met you, and what I thought, that made you have such deep trust in his... feelings for 'me'." He said , "But if you ask me now, my answer will be 'I don't want to love you'."

Qi Zhengyun didn't speak.If there was a little bit of sarcasm or joy in Lu You's expression, it might break his emotional state which is on the verge of breaking down at the moment... But when Lu You said this, it seemed that he was also feeling sorry for hurting him.The man's Adam's apple rolled up and down, and suppressed a whimper-like moan deep down.Lu You had been quietly letting the hand he was holding move slightly, and then pulled it out of his hand little by little.

"As for the things you did to me..." he said slowly, "Treat people as consumables, don't invest in emotions, and pursue the highest efficiency...From your point of view, there is nothing wrong with doing this."

After saying such words that were totally beyond Qi Zhengyun's expectation, Lu You gently closed his eyes.He raised his head, his tone seemed to be talking about something irrelevant to him, even more like talking about items rather than people, "However, if you can't completely distinguish between 'consumables' and 'genuine products' ...If you always have to be soft-hearted towards 'consumables', and then destroy this feeling ... when you really get the 'genuine product', how much will your feelings be left?"

Qi Zhengyun was silent, his empty palm spread out towards the more empty top.Is this a curse?He thought, or prophesied?It can't be persuasion, he can hear that there is no tenderness in it.

Lu You smiled at Qi Zhengyun, this time it was a smile without any smile. "It's so pitiful..." He whispered, not sure if he was talking about Qi Zhengyun or himself.He raised the hand that had been placed by his side before, and reached out to the man standing in front of him, as if he wanted to hug him with pity.

Qi Zhengyun closed his eyes, as if those words had exhausted his language, he didn't make any more sound.His body relaxed as if detached, and he leaned forward, allowing Lu You to wrap his hands around his neck.

The man was as cold as when he was a monster covered in scales, but at this moment his body was so hot, warmer than Lu You's feverish body.Human nature hides the desire to be touched by the same kind, and the temperature surrounding the whole body makes Lu You have the urge to sigh.His chest was close to Qi Zhengyun's, and his chin rested on the man's broad shoulders. The hand leaning on the back of the neck adjusted the angle slightly, and pointed the tip of the wire in his hand towards the spine that protected the key nerves.

——After finding that he couldn't get out, he searched the corners of the room, and finally found a wire used to fix the plants between the pots of green plants on the windowsill.The leaves and stalks of that pot of vines are full of water, showing a vibrant green under the moonlight. I think the owner who came here will not have much energy to take care of the flowers and plants. These pots of decorative flowers and trees probably have just moved back.

What's the point of just putting it on the window sill until it dies and won't be seen?

Lu You's hand was very steady, and there was no hesitation or tremor when he stabbed it down.He knows that this kind of resistance is very likely to be the same as fleeing, and the possibility of realization is almost zero. Rather than hoping to threaten the life of the monster with such a weak weapon, it is better to send it into his heart before the monster returns. or throat, and simply end the torture—or if that fails, the weapon is taken, and the chance never comes again.

But he still chose to do what he does now.

For the last time, it was different from the usual resistance of patience and prayer...

The tip of the twisted iron wire after being folded in half touched the soft skin, and under the thin layer of flesh was the gap in the bones.That was the sharpness he had tried in his own hands, but at this moment, he was exhausted and couldn't move any further.Lu You's fingers were clenched so tightly that they ached, he gritted his teeth and pressed the other hand up, his body tensed by the force gradually began to tremble... Warm tears trickled down his cheeks, making Wet the clothes on Qi Zhengyun's shoulders.

Qi Zhengyun held him motionless, as if he didn't feel the slightest bit of such an obvious abnormality.Until Lu You finally gave up, let go of his hand, and let the deformed wire fall down.If he could see in the dark, he would find that there was not even a trace left on the seemingly human skin.No matter which way of resistance, it will be futile in the end.

Qi Zhengyun didn't ask why he did this, and he didn't ask whether Lu You would never disobey him after giving up this time, and was willing to carry those previous memories and live under his protection until the day when the goal was achieved. moment.He hugged Lu You for a while, listening to the desperate, suppressed sobs of breathing in his ears, and then slowly let go of his arms.

Lu You leaned against the back of the sofa, the blood on his lips had lost again, his face was wet, and his eyes were closed.Qi Zhengyun wiped away his tears carefully, and then, in a moment's pause and the silence that fell at any time, he pressed his tears-soaked fingers to Lu You's swallowing throat.