not in vain

Although Zhan Zhao's poison has been cured, his external injuries are still not healed, and he often has a fever.A few days ago, he had a fever again and couldn't wake up. Su Qian went to see him again after learning about it.

His face, which had been healthier just now, became sickly red again due to the fever for days, and his lips became chapped and pale.Su Qian changed a veil for him, and then sat quietly at the table, looking at Zhan Zhao's slightly frowning brows, slightly sweaty, slightly trembling body, her heart couldn't help but feel uncomfortable.

Why do you have to work so hard?No matter what, the things you guarded will disappear without a trace after more than 200 years.At that time, these people of the Great Song Dynasty will become the lowest of the four classes.If you know it, you will also feel heartache because of your inability to do anything.But this cannot be changed.

Su Qian thought, even if one day she confessed her identity to him, she would never tell him this.

In Zhan Zhao's life, the greatest satisfaction lies in the peace of the blue sky and the peace of the people.Then why can't I deceive him and comfort him?Besides, he did everything he could.This is the biggest disadvantage of the prophet. He knows everything, but he can't do anything, or he can't change it.In order to prevent others from doing the same, they had to keep silent and not reveal anything.

"Hmm..." A low moan came from beside her, and Su Qian turned her head to see that Zhan Zhao hadn't woken up yet, but was just muttering in a dream.Su Qian came back to her senses, replaced the warm veil on his head, and sighed secretly.Now, I can only do this silently, but cannot express my friendship directly.

She really wanted to treat him openly and aboveboard, and try her best to help him, even if she just tried her best to help him deal with the affairs of life, so that he could do his best for the people with peace of mind.She wanted to pass him a cup of tea when he was tired, talk to him when he was depressed, rub his temples when he was sleepy... Although these things are small, they are all that Su Qian can do.Su Qian can only feel at ease if she has done everything she can.

All of this requires his permission.Thinking about it alone is useless.He disagreed, and that was all he could do, which was far from enough to help him.

but……

It's hard for him to get what he wants even though he's devoted his life to the world. If he's really doing it for his own good, how can he drag his energy and make him think about these things?I must pay attention to when he notices me, and it is most appropriate for me to do my best behind the scenes to support him.It would be good if he could notice himself, but if he couldn't, either he didn't like himself, or he didn't care about men and women, or he was too busy with business to distract himself.Either way, I shouldn't force him to think about it.All I can do is support.After all, Su Qian wanted him better than being with him.It's not for the people, it's just that I want to make the people in my heart better.

Thinking of this, Su Qian no longer struggled with him not noticing herself.

That's right, I shouldn't have been entangled in the first place. Didn't I think about it a few years ago, just to meet him once?Now that I have seen him, those words that say he does not exist can no longer make my heart ache.I can still see him and help him from time to time. These are already gifts from heaven, so what can I expect?As long as he's well, that's fine.

After thinking about this, Su Qian continued to remain unknown.However, this obscurity only lasted for a month.

The author has something to say: Struggling to come to another chapter before the exam... and then it will disappear for a while...

I will resume writing in May, but it is not certain whether I can post it...

(Speaking of which, the name is really useless... I would say that the next chapter has something to do with Momo...)