romantic love

Mengliang Mengliang, in reverse, is Huangliang Yimeng. In this world, there is no such a person.

All of this is just a dream, a half-true dream.

My name is Lu Xuyan, I am 28 years old, I graduated from Wilton University three years ago, and followed my mentor, academician Liang Run, to work in the Blue Palace. Two years later, I was transferred to the White House due to a major negligence, and soon became a wanted man. commit.

I was an orphan. I grew up in a slum until I was six years old. I was raised by the old manager of Luo’s Hardware Store in a frugal manner. I lived with Luo Xing and Julia since I was a child. Without dyed hair, everyone called her Huangmaoyatou.

When I was six years old, a couple adopted me. The following year, the female allocation order was issued. A sexy and innocent third party forced into the family broke up my adoptive parents' marriage until one day my adoptive mother I left without saying goodbye, and my adoptive father sent me to an orphanage.

It was the happiest time of my life.

The kind nurses led us to read and practice calligraphy, the endless stream of volunteers enriched our lives, and the knowledgeable Grandma Mary taught us every day that no matter how poor and hard we are, we must not forget "doromantic things".

She is 70 years old, but she is still beautiful and coquettish in her old age. She does not wear makeup or dress up, but she wears men's leather boots from the 19th century, wears a felt hat, leans on a cane, and greets us with a princess-like look: " Hey Lu, want to try eating soufflé under the stars?"

She can play the piano, draw pictures, sing, take us to see the dew in the middle of the night, and burn a bowl of milk tea to accompany the stars in the sky on moonless nights.

Not long after, I met Lin Lu and Shu Zhi. Grandma Mary took us three boys to every inch of the land here. I heard that she was a math teacher before she retired, but she didn’t teach us any numbers. She said that before children learn to read and count, they must first learn to dream under the stars.

So we slept on the lawn stained with night dew. When we woke up the next day, Shu Zhi said that he dreamed that he was admitted to Wilton University, Lin Lu dreamed that he became a love expert, and I was a little embarrassed when I said it, I dreamed Until he becomes a superman and changes the world.

They laughed at me and I laughed at them and even got into a fight over it, only to lose the fight forever the next day - my real dad came to get me.

I left the orphanage and returned to my own home.

I have a father, and a female "auntie". The blond-haired, blue-eyed woman is pregnant, and she touched my head with a smile, and said in a sweet voice, "Yanyan, my mother is going to give birth to a younger brother for you."

But I knew that was not my mother. At the beginning of my memory, I vaguely remembered that my mother was a typical oriental beauty. She was beautiful and taciturn. She always looked at me with gentle and quiet eyes, and touched me with slightly cold palms. She seldom smiles, her voice is like lingling clear water, which is very different from the woman in front of her.

I hate her, but she is always clinging to me, telling me the love story between her and my father, she said she is a lady from a wealthy family, and my father is a bankrupt businessman, she said she was my father's first love , my father once wrote love poems to her crazily, vowing to love her only in this life.

I hated this lying woman so much that one day, when she tried to kiss my cheek with those red lips, I pushed her away hard.

She slammed into the corner of the table, clutched her stomach and started moaning, I was terrified and never wanted to be near the female again until she slit her wrists in the bathroom.

The reason for her suicide is naturally not me, but the angel fetus she gave birth to.

I understand that the cause of an angel fetus is ultimately due to a genetic mutation, and I also know that at the beginning of her pregnancy, there was a diagnosis that her pregnancy might not be a healthy fetus, but every time I see my brother's ugly, deformed I can't help but think of the scene that day, the way his mother cried while clutching her stomach, and the blood-stained bath water.No matter how many objective proofs I have, I can't let go of the guilt on my shoulders. I can't restrain my desire to make up for him. After my father died, he became the only focus of my life.

I graduated from high school the year my father died, and for the second time, I lost all of my loved ones—except for this giant baby angel.It can be said that it is my debt to him that makes me hang on my breath all the time, and live tenaciously like a pest.

I was admitted to Wilton University with the property left by my parents, and completed my studies with the scholarship I earned through my hard work. Lin Lu, Shu Zhi, and I reunited in this university to study the mysteries of human beings and love.

I ran for student council president, not because of the dream under the starry night, but because this status would allow me to get a higher bonus. It is too expensive to raise an Angie, and I earn a lot of extra money while studying , the specific content is to be a shooter for others and help those lazy people who work in White Rose write love stories.

Everything is like a circle with dim light, going round and round. Now that I think about it, my future fate has already been previewed at this time.

I am introverted and afraid of others. For the 30% top student subsidy, I forced myself to practice speaking with a stone in my mouth like Demosthenes. I practiced movements, postures, and studied audience psychology without sleep. Lin Lu and Shu Zhina It annoys me a lot for a while because I'll force them to listen to me say the same thing for hours with a high five between those two sentences.

Lin Lu said, "You are stunned."

Now that I think about it, I was really stunned at the time. Everyone commented that the me on the stage and the real Lu Xuyan were not the same person at all. The president of the student union under the spotlight was extremely aggressive. He was gorgeous, laughing and angry. Cursing and a marvel can mobilize the emotions of the audience, but Lu Xuyan off the stage doesn't even know how to answer the jokes of his friends, so reticent to the point of dullness.

The topic of my speech on the day of the final election was "Romantic Love, Society and Human Freedom". I almost completely forgot the content of my speech. Walking down the stage, I kept saying beautiful and heroic words such as "equality", "choice" and "living to death", while shouting and interacting with the attention of the audience, I knew that my speech would be rejected It was broadcast live to all parts of the country, and I knew that this was my best chance. My palms were sweaty, and my hair roots were slightly damp.

I remember at the end of the speech, my audience gradually stood up with me, my cheeks were flushed with excitement, and so were they, and my eye sockets were hot and wet, and so were they.

I thought I had convinced everyone.

I later learned that for them, it was nothing more than a regular emotional high, adrenaline rush and dip, and at best a roommate.

The only person I can really convince is myself.

To put it simply, it is too deep into the drama.

In my more than 20 years of life, chances and coincidences are everywhere, and I have seized every opportunity at hand to get to where I am today.

Just after that speech, Professor Liang Run noticed me.

I was lucky enough to join his research group, and he gave me a lot of research allowances, so much so that I still had time to dream on the basis of feeding Angel and nourishing my life.

I dream every day and every night, I dream that I am a superman, with my piercing eyes, I found a fulcrum in the vast universe, and then pried up the earth.

Liang Run told me: "I will give you this fulcrum, join the Blue Palace with me, you can change a lot of things."

"As long as you are willing, you may be able to change the fate of thousands of people like your stepmother, younger brother, and adoptive parents. Even if you only protect one interest of a group, you will pave the way for human development." Shizi. Everything about the female and An Qi can be said to be a waste of time, as long as you take a step, you will leave a footprint."

My heart moved.

To be exact, I was so moved that I signed the voluntary letter left by Liang Run almost without hesitation.

I don't want to repeat the rest of the story.

Because you all know it.

I experienced those days like a roller coaster ride twice, once in reality, and once in the memory of a person named "Meng Liang".

On December 2116, 12, I let go of Angelina who was about to be reclaimed.

In January 2117, I was transferred to the Love Affairs Office, and I no longer had the right to freely enter and leave the Blue Palace.

On January 2117, 1, Liang Run took my hand and told me that no matter what choice I made, he was willing to guide me from the perspective of understanding me.

In June 2117, Lin Lu, Shu Zhi and Julia and I started a naive "revolution", trying to awaken more females similar to Angelina through speeches. Later, this movement was dubbed "AmericanBeauty" , implying that its beauty is romantic, short-lived, and unrealistic.

That same month, I became a wanted man.

On June 2117, 6, my brother disappeared.

On June 2117, 6, I broke into the "City of Angels" in spite of dissuasion. They caught me, chopped him up in front of me, stamped his body, and soaked his head into a transparent container filled with formalin, forcing me to look at him.

On June 2117, 6, I was sent to the Wild Rose Sanatorium, and my mental fluctuation value reached 20.

On June 2117, 6, the first treatment, the fluctuation value after the treatment was 21.

On July 2117, 7, the second treatment, the fluctuation value after the treatment was 1.

On July 2117, 7, the third treatment, the fluctuation value was 15 after the treatment.

On August 2117, 8, the craniotomy was performed, and the fluctuation value reached 1 after the operation. On that day, I began to have hallucinations and schizophrenia.

On August 2117, 8, before the next treatment, I escaped from the nursing home with the help of Lin Lu and Shu Zhi. There was no cruise ship, only a speedboat that barely accommodated all of us.

That day, when I learned the news of Luo Xing's death, Julia told me that a group of special police suddenly broke into their hardware store and found the female Luo Xing hid in the attic of the store.

She said that she thought that as long as she didn't leave that gloomy street, she wouldn't have to face these things, and that Luo Xing and she could hide in a dark corner for a lifetime. She didn't know that Luo Xing had been using this The deceitful way of maintaining their vulnerable relationship.

Luo Xing was arrested on charges of illegal detention and the production, sale, and abuse of inhibitors. He committed suicide on the way to execution—it doesn’t matter whether he committed suicide or not. Like a extinguished fire, it burned crazily.

On August 2117, 8, we could not escape. Food and fresh water were almost exhausted, and the encirclement became smaller and smaller. Julia's health began to deteriorate, and her grief and hatred kept her high fever.

On August 2117, 8, my hallucinations became more and more serious, and the "things" I saw became more and more clear. The pictures in front of me were always as dazzling as those in fairy tales. I saw a pumpkin carriage running on the sea , I saw the fairy godmother flying in the air, saw the little mermaid leaning on the side of the boat singing, and saw twelve ballerinas dancing among the branches and leaves of gold and silver.

On August 2117, 8, I began to be unable to distinguish between reality and dreams. I suspected that I had died on the boat and turned into foam—of course, I died of starvation.

On August 2117, 8, when I was half awake, I heard Lin Lu and Yang Shuzhi rationally discussing the rationality of suicide.

On August 2117, 8, my hallucinations suddenly disappeared. I made a plan and handed it to them. The messy paper was passed by everyone. They looked at me like they were looking at a madman.

I'm going to destroy it all.

I don't want to save the females anymore, they can't be saved, and cases like Angelina will always be just cases.

I also no longer want to assert their rights because they don't need it themselves.

I want to destroy them. This is both the final outbreak and the ultimate revenge. At the last moment of my life, I want to use human flesh as a wire to arrange a terrorist attack that will shake the world.

On August 2117, 8, we sneaked into the Blue Palace. The reality is not as magnificent as the dream. There are no speeches, symphonies, dances, and light screens covering the world.

There are only a group of lunatics, a group of desperadoes who risked their lives to blow up the Blue Palace.

This operation was very smooth, almost the only smooth operation in my life, sneaking in, hiding, planting the bomb, everything went smoothly and abnormally until it detonated.

I saw the files on the workbench until just before the detonation.

A document on the true origin of females.

It seemed to have been intentionally prepared, and it awakened my reason and conscience in a timely manner. I was shocked to realize that I was like a clown, yelling big and empty words, and doing terrorist acts of killing innocent people.So I started to panic, started to be afraid, and started to try to prevent the detonation from starting, but my plan was so efficient, precise, and foolproof that I couldn't prevent the tragedy from coming.

Julia's final torch was the straw that broke the camel's back.

After the roar, everything was silent, and I was bruised by the bomb I arranged, like a scarred joke, lying naked among the debris, culture fluid, and female corpses.

At the end of consciousness, I saw Liang Run.

He still smiled kindly, his deep eyes were full of wisdom, as if he had already mastered everything.

This is the story that actually happened to me.

It doesn't sound good, it's like a dry and barren wasteland, lacking reason, kindness, and romance and sweet love.

Without the love that suddenly appeared and intervened, the story suddenly became sad and reasonable. In comparison, the relationship between Meng Liang and Fu Shengsang is as illusory as a fairy tale.

In other words, it was originally a fairy tale.The two months in which I enjoyed love, desire, and hatred in my dream were just an insignificant part of the thousands of love memories implanted in the female brain.

"Have you come back?" Liang Run asked me softly, "Do you know who you are?"

I looked away, focused on the snow-white ceiling, moved my stiff eyeballs, and said, "I know."

"Is there anything you want to ask?" He was as persuasive as he used to be in lectures.

I shook my head and nodded again: "Why?"

"Why did you save you? Or why did you implant your memory as a female? Or, do you want to ask why that beautiful love is just a dream?"

My breathing froze for a moment, and after a while, I asked: "Are you trying to prove that I am wrong?"

"You think so?" Liang Run smiled helplessly, "I never thought you were wrong, preface. You question the love instilled in females, the choices they make based on false memories, imposed concepts, Questioning their self-abuse, you did a good job, you're right, it's an issue that shouldn't be ignored."

I didn't answer because I knew he didn't finish his sentence.

He continued: "But now that you have personally experienced the process of love implantation, tell me, do you believe in the fairy godmother now?"

I slammed my eyes shut.

The love in my chest has never melted, it is like a ball of fire, burning blazingly, scorching my internal organs.

I once tried to persuade that Miss Cinderella, trying to convince her that there is no fairy godmother in modern society, but she stubbornly believed in the existence of the godmother. I remember at that time Shuzhi asked me: "Do you think she really believes it?"

I'm not her, I don't know if she believes it or not, but I'm sure I don't believe it myself.

I can even objectively and coldly analyze the writing skills of the love memories in my mind. For example, after my brother was sent away, Sangsang immediately filled the vacancy in my life. Attention, this technique is called "transferring"; another example is that he is quiet and reticent, but gentle and caring, and at the same time he looks very classical, quite like the mother constructed in my subconscious, this is called "attachment transfer"; another example He reaches out to me every time I have a nervous breakdown, he always knows when I want him to say something and gives me a response, makes me think of him as my soul mate, as my last faith, This is called "redemption appropriation".

Every word he said to me, every action he made, had only one purpose.

Just make me love him.

I know all about it.

I know it's all fake and that fairy godmothers don't exist.

But I miss him.

I think of his perpetually cold skin, of his webbed palms, of the gills behind his ears, of every strand of silvery hair.I miss the way he smiled sweetly at me, the way he dragged me to buy a dress, and his fish-like lips pursed through the bars under the moonlit night.

The intense sadness made me uncontrollably ask: "Sang Sang..." Does he really exist?

Liang Run looked at me with a half-smile.

I woke up suddenly and stopped.

"Introduction, it's all fake." He came forward and held my hand, "Memories are faked, concepts are instilled, dreams are like this, and reality is also like this."

"It is never the computer that really manipulates the human brain, but the society you and I live in, your love, evil, right, wrong, every decision you make, which one you dare to say is completely based on yourself The choice made by individuality? Preface, people don’t make choices, only society does, people have no right or wrong, only individuals in society, according to your standard, all these are fake. You hate the fake love you compiled so much , but have you ever thought that in this world where everything is a lie, only the love in your chest and the desire when you get an erection... are real."

"Why don't you accept them?"