chaotic world

Li Guosheng was talking vigorously, shut up abruptly, and looked in the mirror with a guilty conscience.

Looking directly at Zhou Lan.

Li Guosheng was a little hesitant, not knowing what to say.He didn't know what was going on between the head of the regiment and the squad leader, as if he didn't quite understand what was going on between the head of the regiment and Adjutant Du, and a conflict broke out suddenly.

He has his duty, he has to listen to what the leader wants to say, and he has no right to follow up on what the leader doesn't want to say, he only has to execute it.

Just like that day, when he carried away the half-dead He Si, as the class deputy, he neither dared to release He Si nor sent him to prison.

Just procrastinating like this day by day, he thought, after a long time, the head of the team may forget, even if he does not forget, at least he is not angry, and everything can be discussed.

The head of the group was so busy that he was like a machine that didn't stop working day and night, and couldn't think of other people's affairs at all.

I suddenly remembered it today, suddenly, and I don't know what it means.

He hesitated how to answer, Zhou Lan looked at him in the mirror, and asked doubtfully, "Dead"

"No, no," Li Guosheng said hastily, "It's not possible. Commander, you are sympathetic to your subordinates. We can't die with a few hits."

Zhou Lan didn't accept his flattery, lowered his eyes, and leaned his head to the back seat: "Where did you hide? You're so brave because you're afraid I'll kill him?"

"That's not true," Li Guosheng said carefully. Seeing that Zhou Lan was not angry, he probably wouldn't be so angry that he wanted to eat someone like that day. He Si probably couldn't lose his life. He said, "In Renai As for the hospital, it was nothing serious at first, it was all a traumatic injury. I went back and lay down in the guard squad for two days. Squad leader He refused to go to the hospital. Then he passed out from the fever, so we rushed to the hospital, only to find out that the squad leader had broken two ribs. , especially pierced into the lungs."

Zhou Lan opened his eyes slightly, stayed there for a moment, and asked Li Guosheng, "How are you doing now?"

"The bones have been spliced, and there is no serious problem." Li Guosheng drove with his eyes ahead, circled around the perimeter of the security team, and for this reason he told the truth, "The doctor said that it took several days to go to the hospital. The infection was severe, and it was winter again, so the pneumonia was quite severe."

"Well," Zhou Lan replied in a low voice, and then told Li Guosheng, "Go and have a look."

"Captain, now?"

"Um"

Another time, another occasion, Zhou Lan wouldn't be in the mood to see He Si.It's just that on this New Year's Eve, he found that the people around him were very lively, and he was the only one who couldn't get involved in the excitement.

Whether it's boring, diverting attention, or finding a little bit of conscience, it doesn't matter to him, he wants to go somewhere, do something, so that the night of family reunion will not be so lonely .

Ren'ai Hospital is a charity hospital run by the Red Cross, mainly to help ordinary people in the society.

In the inpatient department, there were still a few windows lit alone.

Those who celebrate the New Year, except for the critically ill patients, basically go home to celebrate the New Year's Eve.

After the routine examination, the doctors and nurses on duty went back to the duty room in a relaxed spirit. It is a place to treat patients and save lives. It is still Chinese New Year. On the glass of the duty room, there are young nurses who have pasted playful little red window grilles.

In a double ward at the end of the corridor, it was dark, only a small square of glass on the door glass leaked the pale light of the corridor.

He Si was half lying and half sitting on the bed, the head of the bed was padded high, and he maintained this position when he fell asleep in a daze.

He still had a low-grade fever from time to time, and he would wake up from time to time.

This caused him to constantly fall into chaotic dreams, some were happy, some were not. At this moment, he frowned, apparently encountering the latter.

In the darkness, he opened his eyes slightly.

On the bed opposite, sat a black figure in the shape of a human, with his arms folded, motionless.

He Si said to himself and sighed softly: "Mu An..."

Hearing the sound, the black shadow stood up.

He Si laughed in a low voice, and this little laughter made him unsteady and coughed violently.

He raised his hand to cover his mouth, but he couldn't cover the series of coughs. Finally, he pulled up the quilt to cover his face, bent his body against the wall, and suppressed the pain of rumbling in his chest.

After a while of coughing, he was still hunched over, like a cooked shrimp. If he turned on the light, his face would turn red.

After trying to catch his breath, he faced the white wall and let out a long sigh of relief.

In this empty ward, he laughed at himself unpreparedly: "I dreamed of you again, I can control myself, but I can't control the dream, what do you think?"

There was the sound of clothes being unwrapped behind him, followed by the sound of hard-soled leather shoes pacing over, which was especially real in the quiet night.

He Simian turned his head abruptly, and looked at Zhou Lan who was beside the bed one by one.

After being stunned for a few seconds, he suddenly realized that everything was not a dream, and sat up straight with his hands. He Si opened his mouth and called out: "Head, why are you here? I..."

Cough cough, a series of coughs made him bow his head, it was so earth-shattering that it was hard to stop.

At this time, the door of the ward was opened from the outside, and the light cord was pulled by hand, the fluorescent lamp suddenly brightened, and Li Guosheng rushed in hurriedly: "Commander, I'm back." Seeing He Si buried his head and coughing, he hurriedly put down the paper bag in his hand The son ran to the bed and picked up the kettle, poured hot water into the water cup, "Squad leader, you are awake, the leader brought me to see you, it came so suddenly, I forgot to prepare something for you, I just bought you some pears casually."

Li Guosheng picked up all the mistakes, Zhou Lan was noncommittal, but just stared at He Si thoughtfully.

Li Guosheng felt that the atmosphere was not right, so he quickly activated the atmosphere, and while stuffing hot water into He Si's hands, he said flatteringly: "Squad leader, team leader still misses you. It's Chinese New Year, no one is watching, so I just came to see you .”

Zhou Lan: "Shut up."

Li Guosheng shut up.

At the same time, He Si also shut up. He finally coughed for a while, put down the hot water he didn't drink, stretched his legs and fell to the ground.

He was wearing a fat hospital gown, pure white, and the heating in the hospital was half dead. He was covered with a quilt and couldn't keep warm, and it must be very cold when he got out of the quilt.

Zhou Lan looked at him.He Si has been by his side all year round, and he is very familiar with him. As soon as he glanced at him, he knew that He Si was thin, and his thin clothes were propped up like a skeleton, and the trousers and sleeves were empty.

He Si got out of bed, staggering, Li Guosheng couldn't bear it, and rushed to help him, seeing He Si lowered his head, as if he had done something wrong, he didn't look at Zhou Lan, supported the edge of the bed, and walked to the side , lifting a white hospital stool with both hands.

He dragged his feet, and a soft stool made him gasp. He rubbed against Zhou Lan, bent down like a bow, and put the stool as firmly as possible; "Commander, sit down."

After all, he took a step back and kept a distance from the other party.

Zhou Lan walked slowly to the stool and sat down politely.Sitting next to him, he could hear He Si panting with sound, like the bellows used for fire in the country, or the bellows that have been broken for many years.

"Trash, kick you a few times, who can show you panting like this?" Zhou Lan didn't look at him, but turned his head out of the window, which was pitch black.

"Yes" He Si replied, with his hands hanging down, because he bowed his waist, he looked extraordinarily respectful.

"I didn't come to see you on purpose. I have nothing to do. You don't have to pretend to be a filial son to me. You are very courageous." Zhou Lan said.

He Si paused, then calmly replied: "I know."

"You know?" Zhou Lan then turned her head to look at him, "You also know that you are very courageous, so if you come to me, you are not afraid of death, right?"

He Si lowered his head and didn't look at him: "I know the leader didn't come to see me on purpose."

Zhou Lan was calm all night, and he was bored everywhere, which made him unable to pass the time. As a result, he hit a soft nail within a few minutes.He stood up abruptly, looked closely at He Si, and approached him: "Raise your head and talk to me."

He Si panted, but refused to look up.

Li Guosheng smelled embarrassment and a smell of sex, and felt that he was going to be a bad dish. He was thinking about how to smooth things over, but the door was pushed open from the outside again, and a nurse leaned in: "Why don't you turn off the lights? Hey, there are so many people, It's not visiting time, how did you get in?"

Li Guosheng hurried up to meet him: "Oh, it's all right, we're members of the security team, come and see the patient."

The nurse may be new, young, and trained very dogmatically by foreign doctors. She said, "That's not okay, it's late at night." What’s going on, the patient’s pneumonia is so severe, he wears so little and wants to freeze to death? He doesn’t wear shoes, it’s going to be serious with bare feet.”

Zhou Lan lowered her head, and sure enough, He Si's white and bluish feet were standing on the cold and stiff brick floor, beside her thick-soled riding boots.

The nurse was about to come up to give instructions, so Li Guosheng hurried up and slammed the nurse out of the door: "What are you talking about, the little girl, come out for me, the dean, and I'll tell him."

Li Guosheng pushed the tall and burly nurses into the corridor, and then closed the door of the ward. He was just timid, not short-sighted. There was a lot of conflict between the group leader and Squad leader He, but no one said it clearly. , it must be inconvenient to tell outsiders.

The room fell silent again.

Zhou Lan looked away from his feet, and repeated what he said just now, but his tone was no longer so blunt: "Look up and talk to me."

When He Si heard this, he raised his head slowly. He was taller than Zhou Lan, and when he lowered his head slightly, he happened to meet Zhou Lan's eyes.

At first his gaze was a little dodgy, but when he really looked at Zhou Lan, he gradually stabilized, like a little beast with fear, ready to dodge the whip from its master at any time, but couldn't help but feel attached. gentle.

In fact, Zhou Lan didn't want to mention the previous incident. If he mentioned it, he might not be able to help but beat He Si half to death in front of him. He Si was already half dead.

If you beat him again, you can only die, but his crime can lead to death?

The life of the entire security team is in the hands of Zhou Lan alone, he dare not say anything else, he can take whichever life of the security team he wants.

He was angry at the time, and when He Simeng got close to him, all he instinctively remembered were the unbearable, humiliating and angry facts, which had nothing to do with feelings at all.

In his emotional world, there is only one person, and that is Du Yunfeng. The others are all other people. Other than that, closeness is all frivolity with evil intentions, and it is only related to encroachment, coercion, and humiliation. .

To humiliate him, one life is not enough.

The bones and muscles are broken, and the mud-heaped Cheng Batou is a lesson from the past.

Zhou Lan thinks that there are lessons to be learned from the past, and no one will be tired of living and rushing to die, especially the people around him. Hitting the muzzle?

But what about He Si?

Zhou Lan was so busy begging for death that she never thought about He Si's life and death, and never asked about it.Today was also a coincidence, and it was only by accident that I remembered him and came to see him.

Just now, when he was looking at the person on the bed in the dark, all he could think about was Du Yunfeng.He belatedly realized that the young man Maotou was also the one who followed him and Yunfeng down from Black Eagle Mountain, and he was one of the few people who were still by his side. His existence was like a living proof of his past.

Look, in his best years, he had loved each other.He was lost in thought alone, when a dreamy whisper came from the opposite bed.

"Mu'an"

These two words hit his heart directly.

His character, elders and close people can call him that, but it is just a symbol, different from Zhang San Li Si.But someone called out in the dream with sincerity.

Du Yunfeng called him like this thousands of times, before and tonight, it made him restless.

He Si actually called him that way. He couldn't hear him if he didn't come.

And that self-deprecating sentence with a sigh——

"I can control myself, but I can't control my dreams, what should I do?"

Zhou Lan's anger and confusion were resolved by four or two efforts. When he heard these words, he felt sorry for him.

More seriously - I can't control the fact that I met you in my dream, and I can't even control myself, I just want to die.

Zhou Lan looked at him, although he wasn't angry, but he didn't have any gentle expression either. If it was another subordinate who kept his eyes on him for a few moments, he might not be out of his wits on the spot, but would also suffer a serious illness.

"I..." He Si's imposing seven-foot man, his voice was so low that he could barely hear him, he hesitated and said, "I know you didn't come to see me on purpose, but..."

He whispered nonchalantly, Zhou Lan struggled to listen, and almost lost his patience.At this moment, the night sky outside the window was shining brightly, followed by a crisp sound.

Zhou Lan turned his head suddenly, a bright white flashed in the dark night sky outside, and a crisp sound came from the frozen world, with a unique echo, like a whip, tearing apart the silence of the night.

The first sound of firecrackers is like a rooster declaring the dawn, and the sound of firecrackers immediately catches up with each other. No one wants to be later than the others. It is actually a crackling noise, and sometimes there are high-rise fireworks bursting, which are reflected on the glass windows. , the streamer is brilliant.

New Year's Eve is here, and it's time for midnight.

Zhou Lan approached the window by himself, raised his hand and unscrewed the rusted bolt, and pushed the window open with all his strength.

The cold wind rolled the snowflakes on the window sill into the ward, and Zhou Lan, who was wearing a thick woolen coat, shuddered. He suddenly remembered that when Du Yunfeng watched the fireworks behind his back, he was frozen as soon as he walked into the balcony. Ji Ling, at that time he couldn't walk on his feet, and was still barefoot, so he hid in Du Yunfeng's overcoat.

Barefoot.

He turned to look at He Si's feet.

He Si was barefoot and walking quietly. He was standing behind him at this moment. He was wearing a thin patient gown, because he was always out of breath, and the two buttons on his neckline were undone. At this moment, he was directly blown by the cold wind Into the chest, puffed up the single clothes.

He was like a bird facing the wind, his beard and feathers were all spread out, and his face was abnormally rosy because of his illness.

"Not cold?" Zhou Lan asked.

He Si smiled: "But I'm still glad you came." He was obsessed with the previous conversation.

"It's not enough for you, is it?" Zhou Lan asked calmly.

"Don't dare," He Si lowered his gaze, then looked up at him in a flash, "Head, Happy New Year."

These few words don't match the lips of the horse, but there is nothing wrong with it.

Zhou Lan looked at the other party, deliberately finding out some mistakes, and then cleaned up the other party.

I don't know if He Si understood his intentions, anyway, Zhou Lan didn't detect his original eagerness and aggressiveness.

"Where do you plan to go after recovering?" Zhou Lan gave up competing with him, sat back on the stool instead, and asked leisurely, as if chatting about family matters, "I can't keep you in the regiment like you are. "

He Si was closing the window, leaning half of his body in the cold wind, the sound of fireworks and firecrackers outside was pattering down, and Zhou Lan's words hit his eardrums even louder.He paused in his hands, and looked back at Zhou Lan.

"I don't blame you, I brought you out of the mountains, you have been with me for so long," Zhou Lan said to himself, "I will always give you a settling fee."

He Si looked at the sporadic fireworks through the window, and his mind turned quickly. He is a smart young man, and he has learned a lot. Since he was able to follow him quietly before, there is nothing he can't do afterwards.

"Head" He Si didn't look at him, his eyes were tense and anxious, but his voice was steady, "I made a mistake, I'll change it, can't it work?"

An apology alone may not be enough to impress Zhou Lan, He Si thought, he is such a hard-spoken and hard-hearted person, and it is really hard for him to believe that a person has no malicious intentions.

His whole heart is made of stone, He Si thought.

Before Zhou Lan refused, He Si continued: "I have no relatives. I was bullied and called a bastard since I was a child. I don't even know what my own father is like. I have never had a decent home. Brothers from Heiying Mountain, I have been with you for the longest time, and you are the only one left in the end, where do you want me to go?"

What he said was about himself, but he said that Zhou Lan felt sorry for each other.Few people know about Zhou Lan's past, and He Si has been paying attention to everything for so many years, and only after thinking about it day and night can he understand a little bit.

"Brothers from Black Eagle Mountain?" Zhou Lan looked at him, and suddenly sneered, "I have wiped out all the brothers from Black Eagle Mountain, it's better if you don't mention it, you know, I always kill all the brothers, cut grass and roots, and leave no future troubles. "

"I know," He Si replied without hesitation, "They betrayed you first, and you have no choice."

Zhou Lan frowned, didn't say anything, just looked at him.

"But I didn't," He Si looked directly at him this time, "I didn't betray you."

After looking at each other briefly, Zhou Lan stood up and walked into He Si step by step. His steps were slow and firm, as if he was thinking about the accuracy of his judgment, as if he was knocking on the other party's courage.

"You want to say that you are different from them," Zhou Lan said with an uncertain expression, "You are different from them!"

He Si didn't speak, there was a whistling sound in his chest, and he had to exert great effort to suppress the cough, and he couldn't hold his breath too deliberately, otherwise he would cough a lot. At this moment, he couldn't even catch his breath. I have to hold my breath.

"They just want money," Zhou Lan continued, "You want more."

In the past, Zhou Lan once asked him what he was trying to do. He was hiding himself at that time, and he said he wanted money.

He Si lowered his hands and looked like he was punished. He said: "Commander, I drank too much, and I was confused for a while. I was obsessed with ghosts, and I dare not do it again." After that, he paused, and then said: "I overheard my husband outside the private school before saying that people are not sages and sages, but I can change it. Leader, there are so many people around you, and they are all human beings. It's hard to guarantee that they will make all kinds of mistakes. How about you?" Can it all collapse?"

"What bastard talk?" Zhou Lan frowned.

"I mean," He Si finally couldn't help coughing, his hands clenched into empty fists lowered his lips, he avoided Zhou Lan and coughed vigorously, stopped in a hurry, and picked up the topic again , "I mean, I'm always more loyal than those people. You know, I've been with you for so long and I've never made a mistake. You can't...you can't. I made a mistake just once, and I have to die. "

"I let you go, not your life." Zhou Lan said.

"It's almost the same," He Si was quite tall, and was forced by Zhou Lan to look like a young man who made mistakes, almost begging in his voice, "Leader, I just want to follow you on the saddle, I promise, I promise..."

He Si was really in a hurry. If Zhou Lan ordered him to leave, he probably wouldn't be able to enter the heavily guarded security group in the future, and would never see him again.

Seeing his eagerness, Zhou Lan felt a little puzzled in his heart—does he really like me?

"I promise," He Si stammered for a long time, as if he finally made up his mind, "I promise that I will never like you again."

The room suddenly fell into silence, no one spoke, and it was awkward.

Fortunately, Li Guosheng came back at this time, followed by Renai's vice president.The deputy dean is an old local doctor, with white sideburns, a white coat and a white hat, a thick figure, and looks very white and lovely.

He didn't use Li Guosheng's recommendation, so it was obvious that he was familiar with him, so he rushed in with a smile on his face, "Happy Chinese New Year, Captain Zhou, why did you come so quietly, our dean is not here, and I'm on duty during the Chinese New Year, so I'm really neglecting you. Our nurse is so rude, I'm really sorry, I'll ask her to apologize to you." After saying that, he waved to the young nurse outside the door.

"No need," Zhou Lan interrupted him, ignoring the little nurse who didn't come or didn't come, "President Li, we came late at night, it's not the visiting time, it doesn't comply with the regulations, it's our fault."

"Where is there, there are always special circumstances," the deputy dean raised his head with a smile. He is short, and if he wants to fully show his bright smile, he needs to raise his head so that Zhou Lan can receive it: "Head Zhou gave us a red The charity donated by the Cross Society is a huge amount, and the common people can afford medicines, and your donation has played a big role, so how can you be treated like an ordinary person?"

"Oops," this Dean Li saw the person standing behind Zhou Lan with his hands hanging down. He was wearing a hospital gown. He was his patient. He could tell he had a fever by looking at his face, but he stood at attention with bare feet and thin clothes. "This... this patient," he originally wanted to say, "this patient is still ill, pneumonia, such tossing is fatal." The words turned around, "this patient... is you Distinguished guest who came to visit, I knew that we would arrange the best ward, which would be more conducive to the recovery of pneumonia, I really failed my duty, I'm sorry."

Zhou Lan smiled harmlessly, and followed his gaze back to He Si, without any emotion, just said indifferently: "One of my soldiers."

After some polite greetings, Zhou Lan and Dean Li walked out of the ward, and before leaving, they didn't look at He Si or say goodbye, even though He Si stood upright and saluted, standing behind him.

The nurse turned off the light again, and the room was plunged into darkness for a long time, before He Sicai crawled onto the hospital bed, buried his head in the white quilt, and coughed loudly and boldly, almost shaking his heart out.