disqualified hero

I was born in the snow and ice.

From November to April and May of the next year, eyes are full of whiteness, and the pulsating stream is frozen into ice. Some people wear skates to skate on it, and some are playing ice hockey.The dirt slopes turned into snow-capped mountains. It is said that Russians know how to ski. They don't need sleds, they can slide down the steep ridges with a board.

The polar dogs in Siberia are tied with bridles, and the three-headed dogs can carry hundreds of kilograms of goods. The creatures that grow here, even dogs, are tall and strong, with thick hair.The vast majority of Russians are also thick and thick, not afraid of ice and snow, not afraid of cold, and can fight bears with bare hands.

And I was an outlier from a young age.

The person who conceived me was weak, and I couldn't get enough nutrients during pregnancy, so that I was born very thin, like a mouse.Afterwards, there was no improvement. The doctor judged that it was congenitally deficient, and the physical function was very poor, especially the heart. Even if it lived in an incubator for a lifetime, it would not be fully developed. It would not survive the age of five in Russia's ice and snow.

Cruel words, medical test reports, adults whispering worriedly, servants' gossip... I heard them all and remembered them. I remember things very early, and the memories of one or two years old are all stored in my mind.

The physical condition of the men connected with my blood is below the average, and the sperm activity is lower. I am the only one who survived smoothly in the group called the family. From a secular point of view, the family that raised me belongs to the noble category. I study poetry, grammar , writing, foreign languages ​​and the cello.

Cello is one of my favorite things. I love her as much as I love reading.The horsetail sweeps across the metal strings, sending out bursts of deep vibrato. Among many musicians, I like Bach the most. He said that music is a harmonious sound praising God, because it is a sonata dedicated to God. His music is pure and full of power. Hearing happiness, misery, joy and love, I heard the gurgling of spring water, heard the wind blowing through the woods, I felt his strong will, his lofty beliefs, and his spirit of self-sacrifice.

—I love them.

After I was five years old, I became more different from the people around me. Not only did I have a thin body, but I also had abnormal senses—I didn’t know what pain was.

I was considered a genius since I was a child. My father, my uncle, my governess, and the tenants in the farmland all held the same opinion. The tenants are uneducated people whose views are instilled by people at a higher level. Every time I see Compassion rose in their hearts. You see, these people have no education, their lives are not stable, they are ignorant and mediocre, they don’t understand the principles of the world, they eat cabbage soup, and they can’t even find a book at home. They can do whatever the landlord asks them to do.

For people like ants, it's okay not to have sympathy.

They praised me, and I nodded, which the lesser people thought was aristocratic, and my father thought it was a sign of being well educated.

Due to physical reasons, I seldom take part in outdoor sports. At most, I just go out to bask in the sun in the short summer. The sun is too strong, and my skin will turn red again, and I have to retreat under the shade of trees.

The children of the farmer were playing together. They were strong and climbed up and down the tree like savages. Suddenly, one fell from the tree. He hugged his knee and howled in pain. I looked at his face, The skin around the eyes was wrinkled into a ball, forming thousands of folds, the brows were knit together, and the mouth kept shouting, the voice was indistinct.

Since I was a child, I have a superhuman learning ability, but I can't understand the emotions in the world well. I probably have emotions, but I am separated from the world by a layer of membrane. I sympathize with other people. This kind of sympathy It is high above, God-like mercy.But there is only one emotion that I can't understand at all.

Men called fathers, uncles, servants in the house, servants' children, they always cry out for pain, hug their legs, hands, and cover their hearts.

What exactly is pain?

"Don't you feel pain?" In the second year in Siberia, I met a black-haired Oriental.In Russia's territory, Eastern Siberia is still the coldest place, and few natives come here, unless they are exiled. I was exiled with my family. The healthy people have died, but I am still alive.

It’s really rare to see a Japanese here, especially since he sees through the truth at a glance. No one in the same family can find out. I hide it very well, and I don’t get beaten or scolded on weekdays. My father said, “Silence is a noble virtue. ", he hopes that future generations will have the ability to endure pain.

"Oh." There was pity on the Dongyang man's face. It was not the pity I saw from the peasants. His expression was more vivid, more empathetic, and more like a human being. Compared with him, my emotions were too thin and clumsy.

"It's poor." He put the hat on me, and my ears were purple from the ice and snow.

"I don't feel pain, I'm talented, I came from a noble family, and my family is in decline." To say that the family is in decline is an understatement. Seventy to eighty percent of the men in the family died, and some women survived. They are of little use. I decided a month ago to leave Siberia fled back to Moscow and was caught again before leaving the country.Now I am the lowest slave on the North Asian continent.

"Putting these experiences on one person..." He suddenly asked, "Look at the hard-working Siberian slaves, how do you feel?"

Answer: "I sympathize with them."

Dazai muttered: "Another answer with a strong religious meaning."

"Then do you believe in the existence of God?" His question was jumpy and weird.

"I hope that God exists. He brings suffering, training and love, but when I see farmers being framed and dying in exile, I feel that God may not be there. Otherwise, how can there be injustice in the world? "

"God cannot exist, otherwise the peasants' faith will have no place to rest."

Osamu Dazai asked: "Assuming he doesn't exist..."

"Then I am God," I said, "When God exists, he is, and when he does not exist, I will be God."

For him I give eternal rest.

"Oh." He pretended again, "A person like you is either going to be a saint or a devil who will destroy the world."

He fiddled with my neck flexibly with his hands, and after a "click", the dog collar on my neck fell off in response.

"Let's go." He stretched out his hand, "Leave Siberia and go to Moscow."

He smiled and said: "A saint should not die in a place of bitter cold."

I take his hand.

……

"Wow--" The water drew a beautiful arc in mid-air, and splashed on Fyodor's body. His hair and clothes became wet, and the white clothes turned transparent against the flesh.

His skin was whiter than his white coat, the same hue as the paper.

Karamazov stood before him, his eyes burning with jealousy, and he was always jealous of everyone, of everyone alive, for reasons that not even Fyodor could think of.

"You finally woke up." He smiled cruelly, "The price of the goods on the first day of auction was the cheapest, but we also have to bring out some good goods to stir up the atmosphere, thanks to your impromptu performance yesterday." He thought of what he had lost Man, his expression twisted again for a while, Karamazov is the real version of Grandet, sometimes he is too stingy, Fyodor has caused a huge loss, and he wants to make up for it.

"You'll be today's grand finale," he announced grimly.

Fyodor lowered his eyelids, did not speak, let alone panicked, the words sounded in his mind, when he suffered tragedies, when his body was tortured, Osamu Dazai's words would always ring in his heart.

[A saint should not die in a place of bitter cold. ]

This is his bible.

……

July 7 was a peaceful day. With fire in their hearts, the guests stayed in their rooms to study the auction list. They had to prepare chips in advance in order to buy their favorite items.

Mori Ogai is no exception. In non-emergency situations, he doesn’t want outsiders to know about his abilities. It’s okay to be known by Nakahara, but it’s bad to be caught by the surveillance camera. He lay on the chair with his head up , let the back of the chair support your body.

"Ah, sure enough, the organ I wanted wasn't even worth mentioning at the auction, and it was sold on the first day, and the position was quite high. Considering the niche nature of special model matching, basically no one would Let's compete." He nodded and said, "Should be able to get it smoothly." He said something weird, "You can buy it with money."

"Huh?" Nakahara Chuya asked, "Money can't be bought, what can I use to buy it, gold bricks?" He heard a joke in the banquet hall yesterday that someone brought fifty kilograms of gold bricks on board.

"Gold bricks are also a part of money." Mori Ogai said, "Gold bricks, diamonds, stocks, funds, and Pitcoins, as long as they are circulated in the market, they can be collectively called money. They are the most attractive. It is also the least attractive to some people." He started the irrelevant topic, "I heard that in some villages in Japan, there is still a tradition of bartering, and the villages use agriculture as their core. Healthy, self-sufficient, and don’t want to stick your head out.”

"Huh?" Zhong Yuanzhong also thought it was unbelievable, "Wait, are you saying that things can be exchanged on board?"

"More than that." Mori Ogai stood up, walked to the window, and looked at the sea through the small sealed round window, "Not just things, I heard a rumor that everything can be exchanged on the ghost ship."

"Supernatural power, human soul, and the soul of a noble person deserve higher value. There is such a saying."

……

'The auction is about to begin. '

'No trace of the book was found. '

At 7 o'clock in the evening on July 19th, two Morse codes were passed into the office of the Supernatural Secret Service Division. They said it was an office, and there were only a few staff members inside. Apart from Ango Sakaguchi, several other people were sitting in front of the computer.

[receive. ]

"Mr. Geng Tian." Someone called out to Tan Tian Shantouhuo, "Please take a look at this investigation." Then he transferred the file to the host computer.

/Item 0012 Report: Survey on the Population of the Returned Ghost Ship from Russia

Sample size: 8

A known:

1 XXX Koizumi’s physical condition has stabilized and he has been discharged from the hospital in secret

2 Heixiaolu's parents and sons get supernatural powers

3.../

"These are domestic samples, so it's easier to find clues," said the subordinate cautiously. "Some foreign organizations have changed frequently recently, but we are not capable enough to obtain first-hand information."

Zhongtian Shantouhuo waved his hand to tell him not to continue talking. He knew all of this and had thought of it long ago.I haven't finished reading the information yet. The upper part proves that the guests can indeed exchange the items they need in the ghost ship, and the second half...

A line of information jumped into his eyes.

/Sequelae: The memory is fuzzy, unable to recall the relevant content on the ship. /

[Is it a different ability? ] Tan Tian Shantouhuo thought, [the ability to erase memory. ]

／Suspected Missing Persons: 2／

After reading the report, he pondered for a moment and said, "Anwu-kun, please send him the code."

"Yes."

"Rule number one: No memory on board."

"Article [-]: The two are suspected to be missing."

……

Shuji Tsushima spent a day playing games in his room bored.

He had to admit that the ghost ship was far less interesting than he imagined. He passed the dance floor, the casino, and the banquet hall. Rich businessmen and celebrities from all walks of life knew each other. They nodded politely and exchanged greetings with each other about the weather and political situation in various countries.

[Why do you put the weather and the political situation together? The meaning is unclear. For some people, the meanings of the two may be exactly the same. ]

Keep it classy, ​​keep it decent, keep your mouth shut about what you're about to auction, and just say things that don't matter.Shuji Tsushima immediately thought of the dead man and his father, they were so similar, boring and ambitious.

[In comparison, playing games is more fun. ]

Osamu Dazai went to the banquet hall to have a meal, and when he came back, he saw Shuji Tsushima playing a stand-alone game with his chin propped. In order to prevent the guests from spreading the news, there was no internet on the high seas, and there were only a few ways to pass the time.

"There will be an auction tonight." He said to Shuji Tsushima. I don't know when, the communication between the two has become less and less, and now they don't say anything except the necessary information communication, " are you going?"

"Alright." Shuji Tsushima rested his chin, and looked at the adult with probing eyes, "Speaking of which, what exactly do you want to buy when you come to this ship?"

"I didn't want to buy anything." He sat down with a good temper, and pulled out a detective novel from the bookshelf, "Just as you guessed, I was entrusted to find something on board, and I didn't What do you want." He meant something, "None of what I want can be exchanged for purchase."

Shuji Tsushima didn't speak, he was very smart, of course he understood Osamu Dazai pointing at him, but there was a bias in the interpretation of the content, his eyes were dark, and the corners of his mouth curled into a smile that was not a smile.

[Look at him, he clearly hates my evil, regards me as a monster, yet wants to win me over. ] His voice sounded faintly from the bottom of his heart, and he said to Osamu Dazai: "Isn't this something you and I already knew?"

Osamu Dazai looked at him without saying a word, leaving room for the child to develop.

"All you want is a good boy." His tone was sharp. "You don't have to be upright, but you have to be kind in your heart and have a desire to protect. A good person like a slug is the correct standard. You regard evil as a monster. Treat him as a lunatic, if I were you, I would throw away the things I hate, why bother to torture yourself with me." He was aggressive, and what he spit out was not words, but knives, Dazai Osamu's hint made Tsushima Shuji upset, Anger was burning violently.

"You want to save me to achieve yourself." Shuji Tsushima insisted, "This game has no meaning at all, you shouldn't control me and let me fend for myself."

The most irritating thing is that the person he vented on, Dazai Osamu, didn't respond. He listened to him with a smile, as if what Shuji Tsushima said was not a vicious curse, but a lunchtime meal.

He is invincible, will not be stabbed, will not collapse, like a towering mountain, pressing on Shuji Tsushima's shoulders: "Take a break." The words just flowed from his ears, stronger than the breeze It's not worth mentioning that Shuji Tsushima is about to get discouraged. He is proud of his ability to read people's hearts, but he never finds out what the person in front of him is thinking.

"Let's go to the auction together later."

[That's it, he only sees me as a child, everything can be corrected, everything he does now is because he didn't grow up. ] Shuji Tsushima's eyeballs rolled, [He hates monsters, but also thinks he can influence monsters. ]

[He is disappointed with how I am now. ]

[Why can't you let go of me? ]

……

[Giving up on you is equivalent to giving up on myself. ]

Osamu Dazai walked into the box, Shuji Tsushima followed him slowly, and the order of the boxes was disrupted again. The organizer ensured that no one could know the identity of the buyer through the auction code. The exquisite design made people feel very considerate.

The opening ceremony was not grand. Compared with the tedious speeches, people cared more about the auctioned items, and the master of ceremonies knew it well. The first ones to be displayed on the stage were the Ocean Star, the brilliant blue diamonds, the jewels of Louis XIV and Louis XV. The mistress, the queen of Louis XVI... Many celebrities have worn it, and they all have bad luck. He was donated to the Smith Institute in the United States before, but after the financial turmoil, even the institute went bankrupt, and the blue diamond disappeared again. People talked about the missing diamond, and now, the blue diamond, which represents doom, appeared on the ship.

Mori Ogai said, "It's really an ominous sign."

Zhong Yuanzhong didn't understand what he meant either.

The auction continued. Someone bought the blue diamond, and Mori Ogai also bought a suitable organ. After three o'clock in the morning on the 19th, the auction was about to reach its climax. Karamazov came to power, and he was tied to a cross Feodor.

His legs were close together, and his hands were wide open. The cross was not made of silver, but carved out of ice. God knows why there was such an ice sculpture on the ship. His legs, feet, and hands were numb from the cold, and his skin was blue-purple.

That's beautiful.

"This is the last commodity for tonight." Karamazov bowed to the surroundings, "Please define his value."

There is an unwritten rule on the ghost ship, the last auction item every day is priceless.

Priceless means that no bids are accepted, and the owner of the ghost ship places his golden scales on the table, with a chip at one end and an auction item at the other.

Only by offering chips that tilt the golden balance can you take away the goods you want.

This is Karamazov's superpower - the equivalent scale.

Value is not set by man, but by God, and God sets the price for him.