disqualified hero

This year old lady is a very beautiful woman.

Her beauty is different from that of unmarried young women, newly married young women, and women with mature charm. Looking at her, Osamu Dazai felt that he was admiring a splashed ink landscape painting, and every strand of hair was vivid in his eyes, as if Blurred into a ball, her body was covered with a thick layer of mist, making her appear even more mysterious.

This reminded him of his memories from a long time ago, the black-haired woman in a white dress, and the forever quiet smile hanging from the corner of her mouth, and he put together pictures in his mind, which were Miss Ji reading a book, Miss Ji smiling, playing the piano Miss Ji, and the cursed words uttered from her lips forever.

"You are a poor child, Xiu Zhi." Her eyes were almost pitiful. If Prime Minister Tsushima, his father, could describe them, they would be the eyes of a god and a virgin. He is fascinated by the divinity of human beings, "Do you have human emotions?" She caressed Osamu Dazai's cheek, "You are like me, born without that, so I don't know how to raise children, I don't know how to find it Happiness does not know how to be human."

"You are not human, Xiu Zhi."

Osamu Dazai still had a frivolous smile on his face, like the frivolous man in Nishizuru Ihara's novel, as if he had never been entangled in the phantom of the past, but the children around him looked at him thoughtfully, as if they caught the faint trill .

[What was he thinking about? ] He thought, [After all, it is not a happy thing. If it is described in a cartoon-like language, for a moment, his person and his body seemed to be obliterated by black air. ]

"Detective?" This year old lady covered her slightly open mouth and nose with her white hands, seeming a little surprised.

"That's right." Osamu Dazai said slightly distressed, "Of course not the great detective in the Sherlock Holmes novels. If I really want to say, the only things I can investigate these days are the little things in marriage." Private detective, this Occupation is indeed very popular in Japan. Whether it is a man or a woman in marriage, there is a need to catch rape. In order to claim for divorce, a large amount of evidence in the photo needs to be included. In addition, the relative investigation of children before marriage, and the arrest of colleagues in the workplace If there is no clue, the private detective will do some tacit dirty work.

"Oh." Mrs. this year only made a meaningless exclamation. She opened her eyes wide, and Xiaolu's eyes were not as moist and pure as hers. "But..." She hesitated artificially, "Mr. Qingshui has left."

Osamu Dazai said: "No, no, that's not the case." He put his hand on the part of his neck that was exposed and rubbed it twice, and some of his palms occasionally pressed against the edge of his lips. His movements were full of hints unique to men and women, "I Although he is an incompetent private detective, he occasionally receives decent commissions like novels.” He said, “Although Mr. Fujiwara has passed away for two years, there are still people who are trying to solve the secret room murder.” He said distressedly, “Then It should be impossible for my aptitude to surpass the police detectives to solve the ancient cases, but the other party offered a high commission, so I have to try my best." He put his hands together three centimeters in front of his forehead, and turned his head again. Come down, it's really a full-fledged look of begging, but with a naughty look of a teenager, "Please, please tell me what happened back then."

This year old lady hesitated and said: "That's what I said, but the police detectives have come twice before, but there is no progress, let alone..."

"Ah Zhi! Ah Zhi! Ah Zhi!" There were two or three rough shouts from inside the house, and this year old lady turned her head in confusion, and raised her voice and replied, "It's a salesman, I'll be right back."

She turned her head and spoke faster and said: "My father is at home, his tone is not very good, and he doesn't like Mr. Shimizu very much. If you need it, please come back in three days. At that time, I was the only one at home." Then she closed the fence They hurried in.

"Hmm—" Osamu Dazai dragged out his voice, his eyes sparkled, "It's quite interesting." He seemed to be talking to himself.

……

"Kata Kata Kata Kata—" There is a clock hanging on the wall, and the hands keep moving forward, and the sound of the hands moving forward can only be heard in extremely quiet conditions.

Shuji Tsushima was reading a book. The book was drawn from Dazai's desk, it was called "Complete Suicide Manual". He read it and thought [There is someone in this world who writes this book. Did he verify these death methods one by one?Or is it just inferred from a scientific point of view? ]

[Who will write this kind of book, and who is reading it. ] His personality is not very clear at the moment, most of the time he just observes quietly. From another perspective, no matter how tragic the tragedy happened in front of him, Shuji Tsushima can just watch and accept it with a cold eye.

"Swish—"

"Swish—"

Dazai was writing furiously, no one knew what he was writing.

After writing for about half an hour, he finally put down the pen and interrupted Shuji Tsushima with a protracted voice: "I said, Mr. Xiuzhi——"

Shuji Tsushima raised his head and looked at him with non-mechanism eyes, which were empty and clear.

"Want to play a deduction game?" he said.

"Hey." Shuji Tsushima looked disgusted, "That's your job, Mr. Yandao, isn't it? By throwing adults' jobs to children, are you exploiting child labor?"

"Squeezing child labor or something, it's too ugly to say, Xiuzhi-kun." Dazai Osamu acted coquettishly to the children without blushing, he must be acting coquettishly, that's what he said, "It's just a brainstorming Ah brainstorm."

"No." Shuji Tsushima said, "It's too troublesome." He turned the book slowly as he spoke.

"Hey——" Osamu Dazai protracted his voice again. He likes to talk like this, whether he is talking to children or girls.

As soon as these words came out, the child was finally pulled out of the world of books, and the corner of his mouth curled down and asked, "What kind of prize?"

"Let's think about it, I have it." Osamu Dazai clenched his right fist and tapped his left palm, "I'll just answer your question, anything is fine, but there is only one."

"Alright then." He put down the "Complete Suicide Manual" reluctantly, "That year-old lady is very problematic."

"Where is the problem?"

"First of all, it's her clothes." Shuji Tsushima recalled, "The large silk scarf on the outermost layer is not for decoration or warmth, but just for covering."

"As for the silk scarf, if it is for decoration, it is absolutely impossible to tie the knot in the middle, and there are obvious wrinkles on the shoulders, it must have just been taken off the hanger." He observed meticulously, "Like Mrs. It is impossible for an old Chinese like that to go out in unironed clothes."

Dazai didn't ask why Shuji Tsushima knew that the other party was from the old Chinese, the rhythm of his speech, and the location of the old house all showed the identity of Mrs. Jin-year-old, especially this surname had appeared in the history books of Pianmen.

"Then, the opening of the neckline was wrong, and a white thread was exposed," he said. "The first two buttons of her shirt were pulled off from top to bottom. The man in the room must not be her father."

"Moreover, the reaction was wrong. It was said that the first reaction of a private detective would not be to find out about the situation. It has been two years since her husband passed away, and in the end, she said that the police detectives only came twice." Shuji Tsushima paused , "In an ordinary murder case, the police must have to go back and forth more than a dozen times. The two times can only show that she is extremely uncooperative and has been closing the door to thank guests."

"She has a bad relationship with Fujiwara Shimizu. In this case, it is too deliberate to directly call him 'Mr. Shimizu'."

Osamu Dazai applauded: "I have said everything I want to say." He said, "It's a very perfect reasoning, Shuzhi-kun."

"Then give me a reward." Shuji Tsushima said.

"Okay." Dazai still smiled, "What do you want to know."

Shuji Tsushima said, "I wonder, who did you think of at that time." He added, "When you saw Mrs. Jin-year-old."

The adult suddenly stopped talking, and even the smile on his face faded away. He only looked Shuji Tsushima up and down with creepy mechanical eyes and said, "In terms of sensitivity, they are exactly the same."

He crossed his fingers under his jaw, his jaw seemed boneless: "I thought of my mother." He said in a more ethereal tone than a ghost, "They are completely different, but similar."

[I feel like vomiting. ]

The desire to vomit is inexplicable. Since living with Osamu Dazai, the child has not had a similar desire for a long time. It is the force given to him by the oppressive mansion and the closed tragic past. The deformed expectations from his parents have turned him into invisible chains. Firmly bound, those people call the chain love, because they love him, and he will become the person they want. It's not that Shuji Tsushima didn't think about rebelling, it's just his innate love for human beings He has no power to resist, no matter how disgusted he is in his heart, as long as he lives in his mother's arms and listens to her noble love, he can no longer move.

So he was restrained for nearly ten years, because his mother said he loved her, Ah Zhong said he loved her, and his father was like that, but he seemed to have expectations, and his every move had to meet their requirements, so he grew up in a fixed framework.

He felt that he was a grass whose seeds were stuck in the crevices of the boulders, tenaciously alive.

Since arriving here with Dazai, most of those feelings have dissipated, and finally no one is forcing him to live, and there is no limit to the way of living, which makes Shuji Tsushima heave a sigh of relief, but now, he seems to feel the same as an adult, no matter what , the bottomless darkness behind the other party pulled him into the whirlpool together.

Reason told him that he shouldn't do that, but emotionally he couldn't control it, Shuji Tsushima heard himself asking, "What kind of person is she?"

"Are you interested?" The adult changed his action again. He wrapped his fingers around the slightly long fluffy forehead hair. This is undoubtedly a behavior only for women, but there is nothing inappropriate about him: "I think about it." Look, she is the kind of Chinese lady who grew up in a Western background, elegant, beautiful, like a doll, and at the same time..."

"It's not like a human being." He laughed shortly, "She doesn't think she is a human being either, so I, who was conceived by her, was also denied personality."

"You know what she said to me when she died?"

[...]

After a long silence, Shuji Tsushima asked, "What?"

"She looked at me with great pity and said I was a poor child."

'You are such a poor child, Shuzhi-kun. 'Miss Ji fell into a pool of blood, her face was so clear, even in the past ten years, it was still vivid in her dream at midnight, there was no fear of death in her eyes, so that it was very moving at that moment.

'After I'm dead, who will know you and what you're thinking? She thought of the future where Osamu Dazai walked alone in the dark, and even shed a tear, sympathizing like a god above him.

'Stop trying to be human, you won't succeed. ’ she said, ‘Isn’t it as bad as mine? '

"And then she died."

Shuji Tsushima only felt that his mouth and nose were covered, and he was stuck in the mud.Ordinary people, those who are alive, who have humanity, and who have courage, no one can appreciate the malice in Miss Ji's words.

But Tsujima Shuji himself, he is very cowardly, very timid, needs to be loved, wants to be loved, if someone tells him you want to live, he can’t die, no one tells him you want to live, he doesn’t even know the meaning of life Can't find it.

[I want to live among the crowd. ] He sat on the porch of the mansion, watching the people coming and going in the courtyard, the birds flying in the sky, and the bustling clouds in the distance.

[I think of the crowd. ]

He sits in the shadows while others live in the sun.

"!" A piece of hard fruit candy was suddenly stuffed into his mouth. It tasted like grapes. He didn't like the taste very much, but he didn't dislike it too much. With a little fiddle with his tongue, the balls moved from the left side of the mouth to the right side. On the side, it finally fell behind the root of the tooth. From the outside, his cheeks were bulging and a small piece protruded.

It turned out to be like a child.

"Don't think too much." Osamu Dazai squatted in front of him, rubbing his hands on his head.

"You just said." The young boy's voice was a little hoarse, and he swallowed a few mouthfuls of saliva before continuing, "You just said, who am I exactly like?"

"Ah, that."

Osamu Dazai said lightly, "Of course it's me."

……

"Mr. Xiuzhi."

"what?"

"The book you read just now." Dazai pointed to "Complete Suicide Manual", "Any thoughts?"

[idea? ]

"Not much." Tsujima Shuji said, "I'm just thinking, has the author really verified all these suicide methods? Most of them are hearsay or fabricated under the guise of medical science. right?"

"Probably." The adult said with a smile, "very few people can survive after trying."

Shuji Tsushima said: "In that case, it would be inhuman."

"Hey?"

"Because his vitality is completely not what humans should have."

"How can anyone be unable to kill himself?" he said. "People are easily killed, especially by themselves."

"?"

"Are you laughing, Mr. Yandao?" [Still laughing happily. ]

"Yeah." Osamu Dazai said, "It's great of you to think so."

……

Detective Asuka opened the lunch box.

From the perspective of modern people, he is a typical good family man. He has been promoted in the police station in his mid-thirties. He has a good appearance, a calm personality, and a good cook.Asuka insists on bringing lunch to and from get off work every day, which is very rare in a police station full of bachelors.

A large blue lunch box was placed on the table.

"Sasaki, what are you looking at?" Sasaki is a new policeman who belongs to Asuka's team. The latter is a talkative boss. He and his subordinates have a clear hierarchy when working, but they can mingle with each other when they are resting.

"Ah, it's not a big deal." Sasaki was called out, a little embarrassed, "I just want to see what's in the bento of the senior." He is an honest man, "It seems that I haven't seen this since I was a student. Plant something, no, even in high school I was a bread-and-chow mein kind, so..."

[All in all, it's just plain curiosity. ] He was a little ashamed to think that as a human being, one should not show excessive curiosity about other people's privacy, this is the basic courtesy his father taught him.

"It turned out to be such a trivial matter." Asuka's brows stretched, and he was even a little helpless, "If you want to see it, come and see it, it's not a big deal."

How could he have imagined that after finishing speaking, not only Sasaki, but also Kazuki, Kusama, Nakamura, and all the subordinates in the office would swarm over, and he had to yell, "Didn't you guys see it before?"

"It's just because I've seen it that I want to watch it again." They started to talk about it.

"Senior Asuka is the so-called good man, right?"

"Does senior's school really have home economics classes?"

"Our school doesn't have one."

"Okay, okay." He lifted the lid, and his four heads scrambled towards the desk.

"Kampei burdock, thick egg yaki, is this beef or pork?"

"Stir-fried beef with kimchi." Asuka said, "It's the leftover from yesterday's dinner."

"It's amazing, it's really amazing." Sasaki muttered to himself, "Senior Asuka doesn't even have a girlfriend, so we..."

The surrounding air froze for a moment, and the remaining three suddenly looked up at Sasaki with horrified eyes.

"Not having a girlfriend has nothing to do with being able to cook." Asuka washed his chopsticks and picked up a book. He was going to close the bento box and take it out for dinner. The office is closed, and eating inside would cause harm to others. Troubled, "The focus is on work." He told the truth, "Very few people are willing to marry the military and police these days."

Everyone else was silent.

With high salaries and high death rates, this world is not peaceful at all. There are criminals and even more wars. There are not so many supernatural beings flying around, but their effectiveness is comparable to nuclear weapons.

When a nuclear warhead goes down, a city will be wiped out, as is the case with Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but a powerful supernatural being can also cause the same situation, and he has the wisdom to think, and the walking nuclear warhead is much more terrifying than ordinary weapons.

The military and police face these people every day, not to mention that they belong to the criminal case department, and their work is more difficult than others.

When Asuka went out, he took a copy of "Painted Hundred Ghosts at Night", which is the first series of works of Toriyama Shiyan. In modern times, except for monster lovers and folklorists, few people read it. Sasaki still didn't understand after reading the book list. Ask others: "Seniors like folklore?"

"No." Kusama said, "He only reads books related to the case."

Sasaki let out a laugh: "Is there a monster involved in our case?"

"Not sure." It was Kusama who was talking, and he shrugged and replied, "There are supernatural powers in this world, and it's not a big deal to have monsters."

"Don't listen to his nonsense." Nakamura couldn't stand it any longer, "I don't know whether there are monsters or not, but senior should be dealing with an unsolved case. Out."

They have kept too many unsolved unsolved cases, many of them in the past two years. They found the perpetrators, but they were unable to arrest them due to lack of key evidence, or they deduced the method and could not find anyone. Foggy.

Asuka has been in this business for almost ten years, and he is used to it naturally. With more experience, he develops an intuition that is unclear. He thinks that there are famous masterminds behind many unsolved cases. He is still very sentimental and likes to make old metaphors.

"You can read ancient books." Three months ago, he and a young man jointly handled the case. He only knew that the young man's surname was Ayatsuji. The other party heard him talk about a few cases and gave advice, "There are also monster books."

"What?" Asuka didn't understand the connection.

"I mean." The boy didn't sigh, he was wearing a pair of brown thin-framed sunglasses, and an outdated hunting cap on his head, "If there is really a mastermind behind the scenes, he must be a lover of classical literature, and he likes it very much. Unnatural things,” he said, “Look, it’s like chopping off an arm and putting it in an iron box. Isn’t that what Tsuna Watanabe did to Ibaraki Doji, let alone a woman who was twenty months pregnant. Children who disappeared in the movie or something." He said, "That guy is a mystery lover."

"If you read more ancient books, you might understand his logic."

For some reason, Asuka felt that what the young detective said was a little bit right, and because he was brilliant in the last case, he listened to the other party, and after reading the ancient books for three months, his thinking logic was not clear, but he put some The technique matches the strange events in the ancient books, at least to understand why the dead are put in distorted limbs.

There is a city park in front of the police station, which is open to everyone. Asuka took some time to finish his lunch. The food he cooked was not good or bad, at most it was just enough to satisfy his hunger. Then he looked at the book under his hand, Think about it.

He thought of the file that he had just dug out, and the department above called to notify him, and then took out the long-sealed file to check. He remembered that in this case, the deceased was a junior at the police academy, and his full name was Fujiwara Shimizu. For "Fujishui".

Fujimizu's body was picked up from a tributary of Tokyo Bay. The tide pushed the body to the shore. The swollen floating corpse frightened people who walked by the river at night. He also visited the scene. , Body traces make everyone who has seen it horrified.

Almost looking at the wounds on the corpse, it can be judged as revenge murder. Without deep hatred, how could he die in such a miserable state.

[I didn't know what happened the night before, but I dreamed of Fujishui again. ] Asuka thought, he was not very familiar with this junior, he was just a nodding acquaintance who could say hello on campus, after joining the job, he ate two meals due to work reasons, and then disappeared.

A small incident happened in the dream. I can’t remember whether it happened in reality, but the scene in the dream is still vivid in my memory. Fujimizu also looked at his bento box. There happened to be a dish called “Kampei Burdock” at that time. .

He said with a look of nostalgia, "Oh, I haven't seen Jinping burdock for a long time." He said, "This is my wife's specialty."

For some reason, Fujimizu's expression in the dream was very strange, but he couldn't explain why.

"Excuse me, is it Detective Asuka?" A call pulled him out of his dream, and the young man stood in front of him, and there was another child beside him. The two had similar faces, but they were so delicate that they were not ordinary human beings.

Especially the eyes, which should not be the eyes that people should have.

"Yes." He replied in a daze, but couldn't help but squeeze the "Painting Hundred Ghosts at Night" under his hand.

[I met a demon in a sunny day. ]